Columbia  <Bnft»wf  tp 

miljeCtiptfltogork 

THE  LIBRARIES 


Bequest  of 

Frederic  Bancroft 
1860-1945 


^yypi^^L 


~h^u^4 


EtDDTDfl   ©'©(OmRflA^ 


TRIALS  AND  PERSECUTIONS 


OF 


Miss  EDITH  O'GORMAN, 


OTHERWISE  SISTER  TERESA  DE  CHANTAL, 


OP 


ST.  JOSEPH'S  CONVENT, 


HUDSON  CITY,  N.  J. 


-4*- 


"Written    t>y    Herself, 

WITH  AN  APPENDIX  BY  THE  PUBLISHERS. 


•«•►■ 


CONNECTICUT    PUBLISHING     CO.,    HARTFORD,    CONN. 

WESTERN  PUBLISHING  CO.,    CINCINNATI,  O.,  AND  CHICAGO,  ILL. 
p.   A.   HUTCHINSON   &  CO.,   ST.    LOUIS,  MO. 
P.   R.   RANDALL,   PORT   HOPE,   CANADA. 


\j> 


^  iDLrt 


V— r 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress  in  the  year  1871, 

By  Connecticut  Publishing  Company, 

In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  at  Washington. 


£        f   I  <&    £~* 


Printedby  WILLIAM    H.    LOCKWOOD. 

CASE,  LOCKWOOD  &  BRAINABD,  Electrotyper, 

BMMOOMO,  Com.  BiRirox,  cons. 


O 

-i 
-1 


nsTTEODUOTOET  NOTE. 


A  remarkable  experience  and  wonderful  success  are  here 
narrated.  The  author  of  this  book  had  suffered  great  wrongs 
at  the  hands  of  a  powerful  Ecclesiastical  hierarchy.  Here  she 
has  spent  most  of  her  convent  life.  Here,  a  little  more  than  a 
year  ago,  penniless,  friendless,  almost  hopeless,  she  came  to 
tell  the  story  of  her  sufferings,  and  to  unmask  the  errors  and 
evils  of  the  Romish  Church.  With  earnest  purpose,  manifest 
sincerity  and  conscientious  motives,  she  addressed  herself  to  a 
task  for  which  but  few  would  have  had  sufficient  courage. 
Public  attention  was  immediately  awakened,  and  an  intense 
public  interest  aroused  in  behalf  of  a  woman  who  simply 
claimed  the  right  to  tell  the  story  of  her  wrongs,  and  to  vindi- 
cate herself  against  the  unjust  aspersions  of  her  enemies. 

This  story  is  here  rehearsed  for  wider  dissemination  among 
the  American  public.  As  a  brief  history  of  a  checkered  and 
eventful  life,  as  a  significant  protest  against  a  church  which 


VI U  INTRODUCTORY    NOTE. 

had  nourished  and  yet  misguided  her.     The  book  is  deserving 
of  an  extended  circulation  and  careful  perusal 

It  affords  me  pleasure  to  speak  of  the  high  regard  in  which 
the  author  is  held  in  this  city — to  commend  her  volume  to  the 
favor  of  the  public,  and  to  express  the  hope  that  her  candid 
story  may  fulfil  its  mission. 

Respectfully, 

Henry  A.  Cordo, 
Pastor  of  the  North  Baptist  Church, 

Jersey  City,  N.  J. 


CONTENTS. 


Preface,       •       • 

CHAP. 

I.  My  Departure  from  Home,  .... 

II.  St.  Elizabeth's  Convent,  Madison,  N.  J., 

III.  Three  Months  Experience  as  a  Candidate, 

IV.  Rules  and  Daily  Routine  of  the  Sisters, 
V.  The  Vow  of  Poverty,  .... 

VI.     Vows  of  Chastity  and  Obedience,    . 
VII.    A  Mission  to  St.  Joseph's   Orphan  Asylum,  in 

Paterson,  N.  J., 

VIII.     Continuation   of  my  Experience  in  Paterson, 
IX.    Some  additional  examples  of  cruelty  to  the 

Orphans, 

X.     The  Convent  School  System,      . 
XI.    My  Sister  Visits  me  in  Paterson, 
XII.    My  Profession  and  Mission  to  Hudson  City,  . 

XIII.  Sister  Agnes,  she  leaves  the  Convent,     . 

XIV.  Insanity  of  Sister  Virginia,  and  Rebellion  of 

Sister  Ann  Elizabeth, 

XV.    Rev.  Wm.  M.  Walsh, 

XVI.  My  Brother  Visits  me  in  Hudson  City,  . 

XVII.    My  Escape, 

XVIII.     Sick  among  Strangers, 

XIX.     My  Voyage  to  Ireland, 

XX.  Alone  in  a  Foreign  Land  :  My  return,    .        . 

XXI.  The  Arrest  of  Father  Walsh,    .        *        .        . 


PAGE. 

3 

7 

17 
22 
27 
32 
36 

41 
49 

57 
65 

70 
75 

82 

86 
92 
99 
106 
117 
125 
130 
135 


CONTENTS. 

XXII.    Abduction  to  the  Convent  of  Good  Shepherd,  163 

XXIII.  My  Journey  on  foot  from  Baltimore  to  Phil- 

adelphia,         167 

XXIV.  My  Conversion, 174 

XXV.    My  Work, 181 

XXVI.    The  Madison  Eiot  and  attempted  Assassina- 
tion,         196 

XXVII.    The    efforts    to    silence   me    by    unfounded 

slander, 204 

XXVIII.    God  Blesses  my  work  in  the   Conversion  of 

many, 211 

XXIX.    Falsehood  Unmasked,            216 

XXX.    My  Marriage, .232 

XXXI.     Conclusion, 236 

Appendix, *       •  243 


PREFACE. 


I  do  not  solicit  the  attention  of  the  public  for  the  purpose  of 
exciting  sympathy  or  seeking  redress.  Sympathy,  though 
grateful,  can  do  little  to  repair  misfortunes,  or  to  redress 
some  wrongs ;  as  for  vengeance,  if  it  be  proper  to  consider  it 
at  all,  it  must  be  left  with  Him  who  has  said,  that  it  is  His, 
and  that  "  He  will  repay.'*  I  write  because  I  feel  that  I  ought 
not  to  be — nay,  cannot  be  silent,  knowing  what  I  personally  do 
of  the  wrongs  and  errors  incident  to  the  Romish  system  of 
religion ;  and  knowing  also  that  the  truth  will  never  be  given 
to  the  public  except  by  those  who  can  write  as  I  can,  from  per- 
sonal experience  and  positive  knowledge. 

In  laying  this  book  before  the  public,  I  am  guided  by  truth. 
I  do  not  make  a  single  statement  which  can  be  refuted.  I  give 
names,  dates,  and  facts,  challenging  contradiction.  My  object 
is  purely  charitable.  I  wish  to  enlighten  the  blind,  deluded, 
and  superstitious  Catholics  with  reference  to  the  errors  of  their 
religion,  and  the  unnatural  discipline,  and  pernicious  influence 
of  the  conventual  life  ;  and  al>o  to  arouse  the  lukewarm,  indif- 
ferent and  unsuspecting  among  Protestants  whose  daughters  may 
be  attendants  of  some  convent  school,  where  they  are  being 
enticed  from  them  through  the  intrigues  and  cunning  of  Jesuits 
and  Sisters  of  Charity,  who  are  adepts  in  beguiling  unstable 


IV  PREFACE, 

hearts  through  the  empty,  theatrical,  and  alluring  ceremonies 

of  a  religion  which  has  a  peculiar  charm  for  children  and  weak 

minds,  and  for  all  who  live  according  to  the  senses — not  the  spirit. 

I  have  also  truthfully  detailed  my  own  bitter  experience,  so 

replete  with  persecution  and  sorrow,  that  it  will  cause  many  to 

exclaim,  "  Is  it  possible  that  one  woman   can   have  endured 

such  numerous  and  severe  trials  ?"     Few  indeed,  have  tasted 

sorrow    like   unto   mine ;  and  I  now   bless    "  the    Hand    that 

chasteneth,"  for  in  no  other  way  could  I  be   cleansed  from  the 

dross  of  Catholic  superstition,   than  by  the  purifying  furnace 

of  tribulation.      Through  the  gate  of  suffering  I  have  come 

out  of  bondage,   and   entered  into  the  blessed  "  liberty   of  the 

children  of  God."     Praise  be  to  His  holy  name  forever  !     This 

book  is  my  own  production,  simple  and  true,  and  as   such,  I 

trust  it  will  meet  the  approbation  of  my  readers;  and  may  God 

grant  that  it  may  be  the  means  of  saving  one   immortal  soul 

from  the  slavery  of  Romanism  and  the  living  tomb  of  convents  ! 

If  only  one  soul  should  be  saved,  I  shall  have  accomplished  a 

noble  work! 

Edith  0' Gorman. 


CHAPTER    I. 


MY    DEPARTURE    FROM    HOME. 


I  am  the  eldest  of  eight  children,  and  was  born  in  Ireland, 
August  20th,  1842,  of  respectable  parents.  My  mother  be- 
longs to  a  high  and  noble  family ;  her  maiden  name  was  Mar- 
garet Byron.  In  her  youth,  on  account  of  her  great  beauty, 
she  was  known  as  the  "Rose"  of  "  Stone  Park,"  her  native 
place  in  the  County  of  Roscommon,  Ireland.  She  married 
my  father  against  the  will  of  her  parents,  and  came  with  him 
to  America  in  the  year  1850,  and  finally  settled  in  Rhode 
Island,  where  they  reside  at  the  present  time. 

From  my  infancy,  I  was  carefully  instructed  by  my  good 
mother,  who  instilled  in  my  soul  a  deep  reverence  for  the  creed 
and  traditions  of  the  Roman  Catholic  faith.  I  was  educated  in 
Protestant  schools,  and  there  bravely  confronted  every  opposi- 
tion or  reproach  offered  to  my  religion.  I  defended  its  tenets; 
I  would  have  given  my  life  for  its  preservation,  for  the  defense 
of  its  reputed  purity,  as  I  am  now  willing  to  brave  calumny  and 
persecution,  aye,  even  death,  for  the  unmasking  of  its  impurity 
and  errors.  I  was  inclined  to  prayer  and  piety  from  my  early 
childhood.  I  longed  for  something  better  than  the  fleeting  fol- 
(7) 


8  MY    DEPARTURE    FROM    HOME. 

lies  of  society,  than  the  empty  vanities  of  a  sinful  and  ungodly 
world.  "As  the  hart  wearied  with  the  chase,  panteth  after 
cooling  waters,"  so  did  my  soul  pant  for  the  life-giving  fountain 
of  Eternal  Truth.  Earthly  pleasures  failed  to  fill  the  void  in 
my  heart, — indeed,  that  heart  is  narrow  which  can  be  filled  by 
aught  save  the  perfect  love  of  God.  I  sought  peace  at  the 
shrine  of  the  Virgin  Mary  and  the  Saints,  at  the  Confessional ; 
in  the  confraternities  of  scapulars  and  rosaries,  but  all  in  vain. 
I  could  find  no  abiding  place  in  Christ.  My  senses  were 
charmed  with  the  imposing  forms  and  ceremonies,  the  music, 
flowers,  candles,  pictures,  and  beautiful  images,  which  constitute 
the  worship  of  Roman  Catholics;  but  possessing  an  instructed 
intelligence,  my  soul  remained  empty.  Were  I  a  mere  being 
of  sense,  only,  I  might  have  been  satisfied. 

In  August,  1861,  I  was  visiting  in  Newport,  R.  I.  I  sought 
forgetfulness  of  religion  among  the  gay  and  giddy  throng  in 
pursuit  of  worldly  pleasure.  But  my  heart  and  soul  became 
disgusted  and  wearied  with  the  emptiness  and  vanity  of  such  a 
life.  I  was  certainly  created  to  be  something  more  than  a 
mere  votary  of  fashion  and  folly.  However,  a  change  was 
near.  The  15th  of  August  is  observed  as  a  holy  day  among 
Catholics,  for  honoring  the  Assumption  of  Mary  into  Heaven. 
I  attended  mass  that  morning  in  the  beautiful  St.  Mary's 
Church,  of  Newport ;  in  the  afternoon  I  went  to  confession,  to 
Father  J.  Hughes,  of  Hartford,  Conn,,  who  was  visiting  New- 
port at  that  time  for  the  purpose  of  assisting  Father  O'Rielly, 
who  was  then  in  poor  health.  In  obedience  to  the  teachings 
of  the  Catholic  church,  which  enjoin  penitents  to  disclose  to 


MY    DEPARTURE    FROM    HOME.  i> 

their  confessor  every  secret  thought,  every  impulse  of  their 
being,  I  confided  to  my  confessor  the  doubts  and  fears  I  had 
concerning  the  sufficiency  of  my  religion.  I  told  him  I  derived 
no  benefit  from  my  devotions  to  Mary,  nor  from  frequenting 
the  Sacraments  of  Confession  and  Communion ;  that  I  failed  to 
find  delight  or  satisfaction  in  worldly  pleasures,  etc.,  and  that 
I  was  most  unhappy.  He  advised  me,  in  the  most  affectionate 
manner,  to  enter  a  Convent,  as  it  evidently  was  my  vocation, 
and  the  only  way  in  which  I  could  save  my  soul.  He  ex- 
tolled the  vocation  of  celibacy  as  the  very  highest  grace  that 
God  could  bestow  upon  His  creatures ;  telling  me  I  could  re- 
ceive no  greater  proof  of  God's  love  for  me  than  in  being  called 
to  be  the  bride  of  His  only  Son  Christ  Jesus,  and  not  the  bi  ide 
of  a  mere  sinful  creature — man.  He  pictured  the  life  of  a 
Nun  as  the  most  holy  and  perfect  imitation  of  the  example  of 
Christ  and  Mary,  assuring  me  that  within  the  sacred  precincts 
of  the  cloister,  aided,  as  I  could  not  fail  to  be  by,  the  good  ex- 
ample of  my  sister  nuns,  who  were  in  possession  of  such  holy 
peace  and  complete  repose  as  the  saints  in  heaven  were  enjoying, 
I  would  soar  high  above  the  atmosphere  of  human  love,  and 
would  live  in  the  pure  light  of  holiness,  and  the  perfect  love  of 
God.  He  told  me  my  nature  was  of  such  an  exalted  descrip- 
tion that  human  affection  and  worldly  pursuits  would  always 
fa'.l  to  supply  my  craving  for  happiness,  and  nothing  save  a  per- 
fect consecration  of  my  life  to  God  would  secure  for  me  the 
heavenly  peace  for  which  I  was  yearning. 

He  advised  me  to  read  the  writings  of  St.  Alphonsus  Liguori, 
especially  the    "  Nun   Sanctified."      This  saint  extols  virgins 


10  MY    DEPARTURE    FROM    HOME. 

consecrated  to  God,  and  says  of  all  happy  states  the  vocation 
of  a  nun  is  the  most  perfect  and  subliiiie,  because  their  affections 
are  not  fixed  on  their  families,  nor  on  men  of  the  world,  nor  on 
goods  of  the  earth,  nor  on  the  dress  and  vanities  of  women  ; 
they  are  unshackled  by  worldly  ties, by  subjection  to  friends  or 
relatives,  and  are  removed  from  the  noise  and  tumult  of  the 
"  wicked  world." 

I  was  then  nineteen  years  of  age,  an  age  when  the  heart  is 
most  susceptible  to  those  impressions  which  may  be  called  ro- 
mantic or  sentimental.  Naturally  possessing  an  impulsive  and 
enthusiastic  nature,  I  was  filled  with  a  desire  to  make  some 
great  sacrifice  to  God ;  and  I  listened  with  pleasure  to  the  ad- 
vice of  my  confessor.  Thenceforth  I  began  to  lead  a  new  life  ; 
I  would  spend  most  of  the  day  in  the  church.  I  took  great 
delight  in  self-imposed  penances,  such  as  fa  ting  every  day  on 
one  meal,  and  abstaining  from  everything  that  wou'd  afford  my 
physical  senses  delight.  I  would  remain  hours  together  in 
prayer,  and  often  experienced  great  consolation  and  ecstacies 
-therefrom.  In  the  Confessional  I  would  speak  of  the  visions, 
ecstacies  and  spiritual  consolations  I  experienced  in  prayer,  and 
of  my  great  desire  of  self  abnegation.  My  confessor  flattered 
me  in  my  delusion,  telling  me  I  hat  the  Lord  had  endowed  my 
soul  with  His  highest  gifts,  and  lie  had  designed  me  from  all 
eternity  to  become  a  great  saint,  "  and  all  visions,  ecstacies, 
and  self-annihilation,  came  from  God,  and  denoted  great  sanc- 
tity." At  the  same  time  he  urged  me  to  hasten  my  entrance 
into  a  Convent,  because,  if  I  delayed  long  in  the  world,  God 
would  withdraw  from  me  those  heavenly  gifts. 


MY    DEPARTURE    FROM    HOME.  11 

As  a  natural  consequence  of  these  false  teachings,  I  soon  be- 
came puffed  up  with  my  own  self-righteousness,  and  was  led 
to  regard  myself  better  than  others.  And  yet  I  was  called 
humble.  Because  hamility  was  a  virtue  I  tried  to  acquire  it  l 
by  performing  certain  humiliating  acts,  such,  for  instance,  as 
washing  the  feet  of  some  filthy  mendicant,  or  performing  the 
most  menial  offices  of  a  servant. 

I  now  look  back  and  regret  the  precious  time  wasted  in  the 
observances  and  practices  of  unprofitable  devotions,  hurtful  in 
themselves,  inasmuch  as  they  were  not  performed  for  the  glory 
of  God,  but,  on  the  contrary,  for  the  glory  of  self.  In  the  true 
light  of  God's  grace  I  can  now  attribute  all  the  spiritual  conso- 
lation* and  ecstacies  I  experienced  as  a  Catholic,  to  self-com- 
placency and  spiritual  pride.  I  thought  I  loved  God,  but  it  was 
self-love  actuated  me.  I  thought  I  was  a  model  of  humility, 
but  I  possessed  "  humility  with  a  hook,"  continually  fishing  for 
compliments  and  the  good  opinions  of  creatures.  I  thought  I 
was  blessed  with  the  true  light  of  God  ;  yet  I  was  perfectly 
blind,  and  knew  it  not.  I  was  taught  to  think  myself  a  saint, 
and  all  the  time  I  was  ignorant  of  the  first  rudiments  of  true 
sanctity.  However,  like  all  deluded  souls,  I  was  not  conscious 
of  my  true  condition ;  I  was  completely  charmed  with  the  nov- 
elty of  my  new  experience,  and  was  sincere  according  to  the 
light  given  me ;  hence,  I  firmly  resolved  to  sacrifice  my  Kfe  on 
the  altar  of  self-consecration,  and  sever  every  human  tie  which 
bound  me  to  the  world. 

Naturally  possessed  of  strong  affections  and  deep  attach- 
ments, I  endured  the  greatest  pain  and  angui:-li  in  sacrificing 


12  MY    DEPARTURE    FROM    HOME. 

» 

my  home.  The  love  I  bore  my  mother  amounted  almost  to 
idolatry,  and  the  thought  of  a  separation  from  her  was  death 
in  itself.  How  could  I  leave  her,  never  again  to  see  her  dear 
face,  nor  hear  her  beloved  voice?  All  else  1  could  give  up, 
but  my  mother,  never  !  It  would  break  my  heart  to  leave  my 
own  dear  gentle  mother. 

This  thought  of  being  forever  separated  f  om  my  beloved 
mother,  would  sometimes  fill  my  soul  with  doubts  and  mur- 
murings  against  God.  Why  could  I  not  love  God  and  arrive 
at  sanctity,  without  breaking  the  holiest  of  earthly  ties  ?  "Why 
had  God  given  me  such  an  affectionate  nature,  if  it  was  un- 
lawful for  me  to  exercise  it  ?  Why  must  I  crush  and  blight 
my  life  and  talents  within  the  gloomy  walls  of  the  Cloister  ? 
Why  bury  my  heart  in  a  living  sepulchre  ?  Why  shut  out 
from  myself  every  object  of  beauty  and  love,  that  the  hand  of 
God  had  formed  ?  Was  not  such  a  God  more  an  arbitrary 
tyrant,  than  a  God  of  mercy  and  love  ? 

I  often  experienced  such  rebellious  reflections  as  the  above, 
and  as  in  duty  bound,  discovered  them  to  my  confessor.  He 
would  tell  me  such  thoughts  were  wicked  temptations  from  the 
devil,  who  would  fain  cheat  me  of  my  holy  calling  and  per- 
fect devotion  to  the  religious  life,  by  attacking  me  in  the  weak- 
est point,  my  ardent  affection.  My  spiritual  director  (hided 
severely  my  weakness  in  listening  'or  one  moment  to  the  Bug* 
gestions  of  the  "evil  one;'  telling  me  I  must  choose  between 
God  and  my  mother.  I  could  not  serve  both  ;  and  if  I  made 
choice  of  the  latter,  I  would  lose  my  immortal  soul,  and  be 
damned,   quoting   the  passage,    "  whoever   loveth     father    or 


MY    DEPARTURE    FROM    HOME.  13 

mother  more  than  me,  is  not  worthy  to  be  my  disciple."  My 
heart  seemed  torn  from  my  bndy  in  the  fearful  struggle  I 
enduivd  before  I  could  consent  to  give  up  my  earthly  mother, 
and  accept  the  Virg'n  Mary  in  her  place  ;  however,  the  salva- 
tion of  my  soul  was  the  one  thing  necessary,  and  I  must  save 
it,  cost  what  it  might.  I  made  choice  of  God.  The  holocaust 
to  Him  should  be  complete.  I  thought  He  required  the  sac- 
rifice, and  I  made  it.  "  The  greater  the  sacrifice,  the  greater 
the  merit."  I  was  so  thoroughly  imbued  with  this  false  idea 
of  salvation,  that  I  firmly  resolved  to  stifle  every  natural  affec- 
tion of  my  heart,  tear  asunder  every  earthly  tie,  and  bid  an 
eternal  farewell  to  my  beloved  parents,  my  darling  little 
brothers  and  sisters,  and  every  thing  I  held  sacred  and  dear, 
and  to  devote  my  young  life  to  a  perpetual  crucifixion  of  the 
nature  my  Creator  had  given  me.  Poor  slave  that  I  was,  in 
my  blind  delusion  I  could  not  realize  that  the  merits  of 
Christ  had  secured  my  salvation,  independent  of  my  self-im- 
posed merits ! 

The  next  difficulty  to  be  surmounted  was  to  gain  the  con- 
sent of  my  parents,  which  I  at  first  failed  to  do.  My  disposi- 
tion being  amiable  and  cheerful,  I  was  generally  loved  by  all 
my  friends,  and  more  especially  by  my  parents  who  looked 
upon  me  as  the  "  sunbeam "  of  their  home ;  therefore,  the 
thought  of  an  earthly  separation  was  to  them  unendurable.  In 
this  difficulty  I  also  had  recourse  to  my  Father  confessor,  who 
was  the  umpire  to  be  consulted  on  every  occasion.  The  advice 
I  received  from  him  was,  to  go  without  their  consent  if  I  failed 
to  get  it.     I  must  despise  the  counsel  and  commands  of  my 


14  MY    DEPARTURE    FROM    HOME. 

parents  in  this  respect,  and  embrace  the  conventual  life  des- 
pite their  wishes,  because  the  allegiance  I  owed  to  God  and 
my  spiritual  guide  took  the  precedence,  and  I  was  bound  to 
follow  his  advice  under  penalty  committing  a  "  grievous  " 
sin.  He  condemned  my  parents,  and  called  them  "  agents  of 
the  devil,"  in  trying  to  rob  God  of  my  soul. 

]\Iy  father,  seeing  my  determination  to  enter  a  convent,  re- 
luctantly gave  his  consent,  comforting  himself  with  the  reflec- 
tion that  I  would  be  numbered  with  the  elect — fighting  the 
good  fin-ht — one  of  the  "  chosen  few."  After  one  year  spent 
in  prayer  and  meditation  on  the  important  step  I  was  about  to 
take,  the  eventful  day  arrived  when  I  must  separate  myself 
from  all  I  loved  on  earth,  all  the  happy  and  clear  associations 
of  my  innocent  gir'.hood. 

•  The  first  of  October,  1862,  was  my  last  day  at  home,  the 
last  day  spent  in  the  society  of  my  dear  parents,  my  little 
brothers  and  sisters,  my  beloved  associates — the  last  day  of 
happiness  for  weary,  weary,  years  of  desolation.  I  cannot 
now  recall  that  day  without  the  deepest  emotion.  Oh,  why 
did  I  first  break  up  the  family  circle  ?  Why  did  I  impose 
upon  myself  such  a  living  death  ?  Why  did  I  not  listen  to 
the  voice  of  my  heart,  and  of  reason  ?  But  alas  !  it  is  too  late 
now  to  repine,  the  fiat  hath  gone  forth  and  can  never  be 
revoked. 

I  must  now  take  the  final  farewell  of  the  home  circle.  All 
are  there,  but  in  a  few  moments  one  will  be  absent,  never 
again  to  take  her  accustomed  place  among  them.  I  kneel  at 
my  father's  knee  to  receive  his  blessing,  ere  I  leave  him  for- 


MY    DEPARTURE    FROM    HOME.  15 

ever.  Tremblingly  and  in  broken  accents  he  prays  God  to 
bless  his  child,  while  the  hot  tears,  dropping  like  rain  upon  my 
bowed  head,  as  I  listen  to  his  prayer,  convulse  me  with  an 
unspeakable  grief. 

Once  again  I  lean  upon  my  idolized  mother's  breast  and 
listen  to  the  throbbing  of  that  loving  and  faithful  heart,  burst- 
ing with  sorrow  as  she  clasps  to  her  embrace  for  the  last  time, 
her.  first  born  child.  Dear  heart,  where  I  had  so  of  en  been 
pillowed  and  soothed  in  childhood,  and  where  girlhood's  griefs 
had  so  often  been  assuaged,  shall  I  never  rest  there  again  ? 
Farewell,  my  darling  mother!  were  I  being  convejed  from 
you  to  be  buried  beneath  the  earth,  I  could  not  be  more  liter- 
ally dead  than  I  must  thenceforth  be  to  you  and  to  the  world. 
Farewell,  my  little  brothers  and  sisters!  I  will  no  longer  soothe 
and  humor  your  childish  fancies,  nor  lull  you  to  sleep  with 
your  accustomed  lullabys.  Farewell  every  dear  and  familiar 
object !  my  eyes  must  rest  upon  you  for  the  last  time.  Fare- 
well, my  beloved  associates,  and  bosom  friends  !  we  will  no 
longer  share  each  other's  joys  and  griefs.  Farewell,  to  all  the 
loved  ones,  and  oh,  forgive  me  if  I  ever  wilfully  occasioned 
you  annoyance  or  pain.  Father,  mother,  brothers,  sisters, 
forgive  all  my  faults,  and  pray  for  me  ! 

All  are  in  sobs  and  tears. 

I  at  last  tear  myself  from  my  mother's  embrace,  and  the 
last  object  my  eyes  rested  upon  that  never-to-be-forgotten  night 
was  the  beautiful  loving  eyes  of  my  grief  stricken  mother, 
looking  after  me  so  full  of  sorrow  and  tenderness. 

Ah,  mother,  dear  mother,  better  a  thousand  times  for  you 


16  MY    DEPARTURE    FROM    HOME. 

and  for  me  could  you  have  seen  me  conveyed  to  the  grave, 
than  to  the  wrongs  and  sufferings  that  awaited  me  in  the  liv- 
ing tomb  of  the  convent. 

The  tie  is  broken.  The  knot  is  severed.  I  am  with  you 
no  more. 

Farewell  home,  happiness,  mother — all  of  earth,  Farewell ! 


\jy&<j 


CHAPTER  II. 

st.  Elizabeth's  convent,  madison,  n.  j. 

St.  Elizabeth's  Convent  is  delightfully  situated  on  the  Morris 
and  Essex  R.  R.,  nearly  midway  between  the  stations  of  Mad- 
ison and  Morristown,  and  commands  a  beautiful  view  of  the 
surrounding  country.  The  main  building,  formerly  known  as 
"  Seton  Hall  College,"  is  exclusively  occupied  by  the  nuns. 
The  Academy  or  boarding  school  for  young  ladies  is  a  separate 
building,  as  also  is  "  St.  Joseph's  preparatory  College  for  boys." 
The  schools  there  are  conducted  with  consummate  skill ;  and 
with  few  exceptions  the  pupils  become  warmly  attached  to  the 
nuns,  of  whose  lives  they  see  only  the  fair  and  poetic  coloring 
which  hides  from  the  world  the  privations,  intrigues,  and  hor- 
rors within.  Of  these  schools  I  will  speak  more  at  length  in 
another  chapter.  Adjoining  the  nunnery  is  a  chapel  for  the 
use  of  nuns  and  pupils ;  attached  to  this  chapel  is  a  beautiful 
Gothic  cottage,  fitted  up  with  many  of  the  appurtenances  of 
modern  luxury,  and  occupied  by  the  Chaplain  and  priests. 
The  grounds  are  spacious  and  well  regulated.  The  buildings 
are  shaded  by  tall  and  stately  trees,  giving  to  the  place  the  ap- 
pearance of  an  Eden-like  retreat. 
17 


18  st.  Elizabeth's  convent,  madison,  n.  j. 

This  community  of  Sisters  of  Charity  is  a  branch  of  Mount 
St.  Vincent,  near  Yonkers,  N.  Y.,  and  was  established  in  the 
diocese  of  New  Jersey,  by  Bishop  Bayley,  of  Newark,  in  the 
year  1859.  Among  the  first  of  the  sisters  appointed  to  the 
Newark  diocese  was  sister  Mary  Xavier,  for  whom  Bishop 
Bayley  formed  a  deep  attachment,  and  as  a  proof  of  his  devo- 
tion to  her,  he  granted  her  the  exclusive  privilege  of  reigning 
"  Mother  Superior  "  for  life,  notwithstanding  it  is  contrary  to 
the  rules  of  the  order,  which  forbid  superiors  to  hold  office 
longer  than  three  years,  and  then  only  by  vote  of  the  sisters. 
However,  Mother  Xavier,  by  her  shrewdness  and  dexterity,  is 
well  fitted  to  fill  the  office  to  which  she  has  been  appointed. 
She  is  a  lady  about  thirty-five  years  of  age,  somewhat  below 
the  medium  height,  urbane  and  polished  in  her  manners,  and 
possessed  of  a  large  share  of  Jesuit  strategy  and  plausibility. 

The  order  of  Sisters  of  Charity  was  founded  by  St.  Vincent 
de  Paul,  in  the  year  1633,  in  France,  and  introduced  into  the 
United  States  by  Mother  E.  Seton,  in  the  year  1812,  near 
Emmettsburg,  Md.  There  is  a  division  among  the  sisters  of 
St.  Vincent,  and  the  sisters  of  Mother  E.  Seton  in  regard  to 
rules  and  dress.  The  costume  of  the  Sisters  of  St.  Vin- 
cent consists  of  a  grey  flannel  habit  clumsily  made,  and  singu- 
lar looking  "  cornet"  worn  on  the  head,  cut  out  of  white  linen 
in  the  form  of  wings  to  represent  the  "  dove,"  and  presenting 
a  very  uncouth  and  repulsive  appearance.  The  Sisters  of 
Mother  E.  Seton  are  attired  in  a  blark  woohm  habit,  with  a 
cape  covering  the  waist,  a  white  linen  collar,  tastefully  turned 
down  over  the  cape ;  the  face  nearly  concealed  by  a  black  cam- 


ST.    ELIZABETH'S    CONVENT,    MADISON,    N.    J.  19 

brie  cap,  drawn  closely  around  the  head,  and  tied  in  a  neat 
bow  under  the  chin.  The  chaplet  of  beads,  to  which  is  at- 
tached a  large  crucifix,  is  suspended  from  the  waist  nearly  to 
the  feet.  The  habit  of  novices  is  similar  to  that  of  the  pro- 
fessed nuns,  with  the  exception  that  novices  wear  brown  in- 
stead of  black.  The  Sisters  of  Madison  adopt  the  above  dress 
of  Mother  E.  Seton. 

On  the  2d  of  October,  1862,  at   11   A.  M.,  I  beheld  for  the 
first  time  this  establishment,  this  whited  sepulchre  so  fair  and 
beautiful  without,  but  within  full  of  corruption.      I  was  un- 
usually depressed  in  spirits  as  I  approached  that  convent  prison 
in  which  I  was  thenceforth  to  be  entombed,  and  shut  out  from 
the  beautiful  world.     The  outward  aspect  of  nature  seemed  to 
pity   me ;    the   heavens  were  clouded,   and  the  wind    sighed 
through  the  trees  with  the  voice  of  a  human  mourner.     There 
was  a  profound  silence  about  the  place,  a  silence  which  accord- 
ed with  the  solemn  loneliness  of  my  heart  still  smarting  with 
the  pain  of  separation  from  all  I  loved.     Had  death  stripped 
me  of  every  friend  or  relative  on  earth,  I  could  not  have  felt 
more  bereft,  lonely,  desolate,  and  grief  stricken  than  I  did  that 
gloomy  Autumn  morning,  when  I  stood  in  the  solitude  of  the 
convent  grounds.     My  heart  and  soul  filled  with  a  vague  un- 
certainty concerning  the  unnatural  discipline  enforced  within 
its  walls.     I  was  not  wholly  ignorant  of  the  obligations  required 
of  me.    I  knew  ere  I  entered,  that  I  must  leave  my  own  will, 
judgment,  reason,  and  liberty  outside  the  convent   doors,  and 
subject  myself  blindly  to  the   guidance   of  superiors.     I  was 
tempted  to  turn  back  from  the  slavery,  hardships,  deprivations, 


20  st.  Elizabeth's  convent,  madison,  n.  j. 

and  austerities  of  that  unnatural  life  to  the  liberty,  love,  warmth 
and  protection  of  my  father's  home  ;  but  I  had  gone  too  far,  I 
had  put  my  hands  to  the  plough,  and  if  I  should  turn  back,  I 
would  not  be  fit  for  the  "  Kingdom  of  Heaven."  I  approached 
the  main  entrance  and  rang  the  bell.  A  sad,  pensive  looking 
sister  answered  my  summons  at  the  door,  and  ushered  me  into 
a  spacious  and  elegantly  furnished  parlor,  where  I  was  received 
by  Mother  Xavier,  who  in  a  most  gracious  and  affectionate 
manner  welcomed  me  to  her  "abode  of  peace."  She  expressed 
herself  highly  pleased  with  the  refinement  of  my  appearance 
and  manners,  telling  me  that  her  "  prayer  had  been  answered 
in  ihe  Lord  sending  me  to  her,  a->  she  was  very  much  in  need 
of  educated  and  accomplished  sisters."  She  portrayed  in  the 
most  glowing  manner  the  "blessed  advantage  of  my  holy 
vocation  which  called  me  away  from  the  noisy,  sinful  world  to 
the  safe  and  peaceful  haven  of  a  religious  life  in  the  convent ;" 
assuring  me  I  would  receive  an  hundred  fold  of  heavenly  gifts 
if  I  would  only  remain  faithful  to  my  vocation,  and  forget  my 
country  and  my  father's  house — because  it  is  not  sufficient  that 
the  body  quit  the  world,  the  heart  also  mu-t  quit  it  and  break 
off  all  attachment  for  it.  "All  those,"  said  she,  "that  enter 
our  holy  order  must  not  only  consider  that  they  quit  father, 
mother,  kindred,  friends,  and  whatsoever  they  possess  in  the 
world,  but  must  believe  that  Jesus  Christ  addresses  them  in 
these  words  :  "  He  that  hates  not  father,  mother,  brothers,  sis- 
ters, yea  and  himself,  cannot  be  my  disciple." 

Oh,  blind  votaries  of  a  benighted  faith !  the  only  sacrifice  our 
merciful  Saviour  requires  is  a  contrite  and  humble  heart,  which 


st.  Elizabeth's  convent,  madison,  n.  j.  2\ 

His  true  disciples  give  Him  without  severing  the  golden  links 
wrought  by  God  himself,  which  can  not  be  broken  with  impu- 
nity, nor  cast  aside,  nor  torn  asunder,  without  becoming  a  chain 
of  iron  pressing  upon  the  bleeding  heart,  stifling  every  pure 
and  spontaneous  desire,  crushing  every  lawful  and  noble  affec- 
tion, and  leaving  the  heart  and  soul  a  dry,  barren,  desolated 
waste,  incapable  of  producing  aught  save  a  diseased  and  noxious 
vegetation. 


CHAPTER  III. 

THREE  MONTH'S  EXPERIENCE  AS  A  CANDIDATE. 

I  was  permitted  to  rest  one  week  ere  I  would  enter  as  a 
candidate,  and  during  that  time  I  was  treated  as  all  visitors  are, 
with  great  kindness  and  affection  by  the  mother  and  sisters. 
At  the  end  of  the  week,  I  was  stripped  of  my  worldly  clothes 
and  attired  in  the  plain  black  dress  and  white  muslin  cap  of 
the  candidate,  and  entered  upon  a  probation  of  three  months, 
during  which  time  my  disposition  was  studied  and  tried.  I 
was  sent  to  work  in  the  dormitories,  study  halls,  refectories, 
kitchen  and  laundry.  It  is  a  custom  established  in  all  convents 
to  employ  freely,  candidates  and  novices  in  every  species  of 
toil,  and  the  more  repugnant  and  distasteful  any  kind  of  occu- 
pation is  perceived  to  be  to  particular  individuals,  the  more 
certainly  are  they  chosen  to  perform  it.  Accordingly  the  can- 
didate known  to  have  been  most  delicately  and  tenderly  nur- 
tured, whose  hands  have  never  before  come  in  contact  with 
hard  service,  is  there  chosen  to  perform  the  most  menial  offices. 
Therefore  I  was  chosen  to  perform  the  most  distasteful  and 
laborious  work  in  the  convent.  The  manner  of  the  sisters 
changed  from  the  sweet,  gentle  beings  they  at  first  seemed  to 
22 


» 


THREE    MONTH'S  EXPERIENCE    AS    A    CANDIDATE.  2t> 

harsh,  unkind,  tyrannical  task-masters.  I  found  among  them 
every  nationality  and  disposition.  I  was  never  accustomed  to 
unkindness,  therefore  I  was  extremely  sensitive,  and  deeply 
wounded  by  the  least  unkind  look  or  word.  I  could  not  please 
the  sisters,  no  matter  how  much  I  would  try.  In  the  dormi- 
tories I  would  labor  two  or  three  hours,  making  beds,  etc.,  and 
the  sister  in  charge,  without  any  provocation,  would  compel 
me  to  undo  my  work,  and  then  remake  them,  while  she  would 
remain  standing  over  me,  with  as  much  severity  in  manner  and 
tone  as  a  slaveholder  would  display  towards  a  slave.  Also  in 
the  kitchen,  refectory,  and  laundry,  everything  I  did  the  sisters 
termed  half  done,  although  I  was  confident  that  in  many  re- 
spects my  work  was  really  well  done. 

I  was  one  day  commanded  to  scrub  with  a  brush  and  sand, 
on  my  knees,  the  large  study  hall.  Such  work  was  new  to  me, 
therefore  most  laborious.  Nevertheless,  I  performed  my  task 
in  the  best  manner  I  knew  how.  Moreover,  being  of  a  deli- 
cate organization,  it  was  accomplished  with  great  pain  and 
difficulty,  and  consequently  took  me  a  long  time  to  complete  it. 
When  my  task  was  nearly  fmished^the  novice  mistress  appeared 
and  in  a  furious  manner  chided  me  for  my  laziness ;  snatched 
the  brush  from  me  with  such  violence  as  to  tear  the  skin  from 
the  palm  of  my  hand,  at  the  same  time  throwing  a  pail  of 
water  over  the  hall,  and  thereby  compelling  me  to  re-scrub  the 
hall  in  less  time  than  it  could  usually  be  performed  by  a 
woman  familiar  with  such  work  all  her  life,  while  the  task 
was  rendered  next  to  unendurable  by  the  pain  of  my  hands, 
which  were  torn  and  bleeding.  This  is  a  small  specimen  of 
2 


24   three  month's  experience  as  a  candidate. 

the  trials  which  awaited  me:  it  was  but  the   beginning  of  sor- 
rows. 

On  another  occasion,  I  was  obliged  to  wash  all  the  pots  and 
kettles,  and  scour  all  the  knives  and  forks  in  the  establishment. 
My  hands,  which  were  naturally  very  soft  and  white,  began  to 
looked  soiled  and   dirty.     Having  remarked   in   my  simplicity 
to  Sister  Margaret,  the  housekeeper,  "  Indeed  sister,  I  am  now 
ashamed   of  my  hands  !"     she   sharply  returned,    "  Well   thin, 
I'll  be  afther  making  ye  more  ashamed   of  'em."     Accordingly 
she  called  me  out  into  another  room  where  a  sister  was  white- 
washing the  walls,  and  commanded  me  to  dip  my  hands  into  a 
pot  of  hot  lime.     I  hesitated  a  moment,  thinking  certainly  she 
could  not  mean  it ;  however  I  was   soon  convinced  of  her  ear- 
nestness by  her  harsh  tone,    "  None  of  yer  airs   now  ;  but  do 
as  I  bid  ye,  or  I'll   tell   the   mother  of  ye."     I   put  my  hands 
down  into  the  hot  lime,  and  she  held  them  there  some  minutes. 
For  several  weeks  my  hands  were  in   a  most  pitiable  condi- 
tion.    The   skin   would  crack  and  bleed   at  every  movement, 
causing  me  to   suffer  the  most  excruciating  pain,  and  yet  I  was 
forced  to  wash  and  hang  out  clothes   in  the  frost  and   cold  of 
December,  the  skin  from  my  bleeding  hands  often  peeling  off 
and  adhering  to  the  frozen  garments.    Of  course  they  presented  a 
most   shocking  appearance,    their   smoothness   and   whiteness 
gone,  they   were  red,  swollen,  and  chapped.     I  made  no  com- 
plaint, but  bore  that  penance  in  silence,  remarking  to  a  sympa- 
thizing candidate  that  I  justly   merited  it   for  being  so   proud 
and  vain  of  my  hands. 

I  was  one  day  appointed  to  wait  on  the  table  in  the  young 


THREE    MONTH'S  EXPERIENCE    AS    A    CANDIDATE.  25 

ladies'  refectory,  and  while  there,  I  conversed  a  few  moments 
with  a  young  lady  from  Providence,  who  recognized  me,  and 
was  acquainted  with  many  of  my  friends.  Sister  Cleophas, 
the  refectorian,  overheard  me,  and  the  consequence  was  my 
subjection  to  a  public  humiliation  before  the  community,  being 
obliged  to  throw  myself  prostrate  on  the  threshold  of  the 
community- room,  to  be  walked  over  as  a  door-mat  by  the 
other  sisters. 

I  could  give  many  more  instances  of  singular  unkindness 
which  were  visited  upon  me  during  the  three  months  candidate- 
ship;  but  those  mentioned  must  for  the  present  suffice,  as  I  have 
not  time  nor  space  to  dwell  long  on  a  three  month's  experience 
when  in  one  volume  I  must  relate  an  experience  of  '  ix  years. 
Had  I  yielded  to   the  temptation,  which,  during    tL^>se  three 
months,  often  urged  me  to  fly  back  to  my  home  from  that  cruel 
life,  I  would  have  been  saved  a  great  deal  of  suffering,  but  1 
am  not  one  of  those   who,  daunted  by  unforeseen   sufferings, 
draw  back  from  a  purpose  but  half  accomplished.     The  re- 
sults often  dawned  upon  me,  but  they  did  not  intimidate  me. 
To  every  fresh  exaction  I  readily  and  often  cheerfully  submit- 
tecl.     I  had  become  so  thoroughly  imbued  with  a  spirit  of  self- 
sacrifice  that  my  feet  ran  rapidly  along  the  thorny  road  I  had 
begun  to  tread,  and  no  penance  or  mortification  appeared  too 
hard,  no  amount   of  self  crucifixion  too   great  to   be  endured 
for  the  atonement  of  my  sins.     I  was  a  dupe,  a  slave,  a  cap- 
tive— a  captive  under  a  yoke  most  cruel  and  despotic,  because 
it  fetters  and  binds  the  affections,  and  tramples  upon  the  purest 
and  holiest  ties  of  our  social  being.     Through  the  false  zeal 
and  blind  fervor  which  then  actuated  me,  I  had  learned  to  over- 


26    THREE  MONTH'S  EXPERIENCE  AS  A  CANDIDATE. 

come  everything  which  was  repugnant  to  me,  and  instead  of 
shrinking  from  those  things  naturally  offensive  to  me,  I  be- 
gan to  seek  them. 

My  superiors  soon  became  satisfied  that  my  vocation  for  the 
religious  life  was  from  God,  and  the  mother  held  me  up  to  the 
novices  as  a  model  of  simplicity,  humility,  and  docility.  Final- 
ly, on  the  1st  of  January,  1863,  my  hair,  of  which  I  was 
once  very  proud,  was  shorn  from  my  head,  and  I  was  clothed 
in  the  brown  habit  of  the  novice,  receiving  the  name  of  Sister 
Teresa  de  Chantal,  by  which  I  was  thenceforth  to  be  known. 
Oh,  I  can  never  forget  the  awful  solemnity  of  my  feelings  on 
that  never-to-be  forgotten  New  Year's  day,  when  I  put  off  the 
old  and  familiar  scenes  of  life,  and  embraced  the  new  and  un- 
familiar austerities  of  an  untried  experience.  And  oh,  how 
often  during  that  day  would  come  the  harrowing  reflection — 
Home,  and  mother,  lost,  lost  to  me  forever !  Never  again  to 
enter  that  hallowed  circle !  Never  acrain  behold  its  loved  ones  ! 
^ever  again  to  make  the  walls  ring  with  my  girlish  joy  !  Never 
again  to  listen  to  the  sweet  voice  of  my  mother,  as  it  breathed 
its  melody  in  my  poor  lonely  ear !  But  this  was  a  vain  and 
futile  shrinking;  alas!  I  had  deliberately  consigned  myself  to 
an  inevitable  destiny,  and  no  power  can  avert  it  now.  I  had 
as  I  thought  laid  myself  down  forever  at  the  feet  of  Jesus,  to 
become  his  bride,  and  live  like  him  while  on  earth,  poor,  des- 
pised, and  self-sacrificing;  henceforth  only  subject  to  the  will 
of  those  appointed  to  rule  over  me.  Little  did  I  dream,  when 
entering  on  this  dark  and  tortuous  path, whither  it  would  con* 
duct  me. 


CHAPTER    IV. 

RULES   AND    DAILY   ROUTINE    OF    THE    SISTERS. 

Before  I  proceed  further  with  my  experience, I  will  briefly 
portray  the  daily  routine  of  a  Sister  of  Charity  according  to  the 
rules.  At  the  first  stroke  of  the  bell,  which  rings  at  half-past 
four  in  the  morning,  every  sister  rises  hastily  from  her  bed,  falls 
prostrate  and  kisses  the  floor.  Should  a  sister  fail  to  rise  at 
the  first  sound  of  the  bell,  even  if  ill  or  indisposed,  she  is  re- 
ported to  the  superior  and  required  to  do  penance  as  for  a  great 
crime.  Sisters  are  lauded  for  reporting  the  short-comings  of 
each  other.  All  dress  in  silence,  and  make  their  beds  in  one 
half  hour. 

At  five  o'clock  another  bell  is  rung,  and  all  repair  to  the 
community-room  or  chapel,  for  prayer.  After  some  vocal  pray- 
ers to  the  Blessed  Virgin,  and  the  invocation  of  saints,  the 
morning  meditation  is  then  read.  The  meditation  is  generally 
divided  into  three  points,  each  point  mentioning  some  subject 
of  contemplation :  such  as  the  suffering  of  souls  in  Purgatory, 
or  some  circumstance  in  the  life  of  the  Blessed  Virgin,  or  saints; 
and,  during  Lent,  on  the  passion  of  Christ— the  meditation  is 

made  on  the  knees,  the  body  being  kept  erect  and  motionless. 
(27) 


28  RULES    AND    DAILY    ROUTINE    OF    THE    SISTERS. 

This  position,  for  an  hour,  is  very  painful,  and  it  often  happens 
that  many  of  the  sisters  faint  before  the  exercise  is  over.  The 
meditation  concludes  with  a  prayer  to  the  Blessed  Virgin  in  the 
following  words  :  "  We  fly  to  thy  patronage,  O  holy  mother  of 
God:  despise  not  our  petitions  in  our  necessities,  but  deliver  us 
from  all  danger,  O  ever-glorious  and  blessed  Virgin !  Amen." 
The  sisters  then  kiss  the  floor,  and  the  bell  rings  for  mass.  On 
the  missions  sisters  attend  the  parish  Church. 

After  mass  the  sisters  assemble  in  the  refectory  for  breakfast, 
which  consists  of  the  best  of  beefsteak,  strong  coffee,  etc.  Silence 
is  always  observed  in  the  refectory  during  meals,  while  one  of 
the  sisters  reads  aloud  from  the  lives  of  the  saints ;  the  priests, 
and  superiors,  however,  give  permission  for  talk  and  recreation 
whenever  they  feel  like  it.  After  breakfast,  the  sisters  repair 
to  their  different  duties  until  nine  o'clock,  when  the  bell  rings 
for  school. 

At  half-past  eleven  the  sisters  and  pupils  kneel  in  prayer  and 
examination  of  conscience  until  twelve  o'clock,  when  school  is 
dismissed  and  dinner  served.  This  is  a  savory  meal  of  rich 
soups,  roast  meats,  all  kinds  of  vegetables,  and  delicious  desserts, 
with  porter,  ale,  etc.  (Sisters,  like  the  priests,  live  on  the  fat 
of  the  land,  extorted  from  the  poor  Irish  people,  who  would 
give  their  last  "  Guiskeen  "  to  "  His  Riverince,"  or  the  "  How- 
ley  Sisthers.")  After  dinner  there  is  recreation  or  play  till 
school  time,  when  the  sisters  again  engage  in  teaching. 

At  half-past  three  all  say  the  rosary  or  beads,  litany  of  the 
saints,  etc.,  and  school  is  dismissed ;  the  sisters  then  go  to  the 
church  or  chapel  for  one-half  hour's  adoration  of  the  consecrated 


RULES    AND    DAILY    ROUTINE    OF    THE    SISTERS.  29 

wafer,  or,  as  it  is  called,  the  "  Blessed  Sacrament."     Supper  is 
served  at  five  o'clock. 

Any  observation  or  inquiry  respecting  the  health  or  ab- 
sence of  sisters  is  prohibited.  The  rules  wisely  forbid  the  sis- 
ters to  ask  unnecessary  questions,  and  two  sisters  must  not  talk 
together  alone ;  there  must  always  De  a  third  party  present. 
Sisters  are  permitted  to  visit  the  sick  and  prisoners  during 
the  spare  time  from  their  devotional  exercises,  before  or  after 
school ;  however,  none  must  be  out  after  six  o'clock  in  the 
evening. 

At  half-past  six  the  sisters  listen  to  reading  from  Rodriguez's 
"  Christian  Perfection,"  or  the  "  Conferences  "  of  St.  Vincent 
de  Paul,  until  seven  o'clock ;  they  then  have  recreation  for  one 
hour. 

At  eight  o'clock  the  bell  rings  for  Chapter,  which  I  will  try 
to  explain  as  follows :  The  Superior  sits  and  listens  to  the  accu- 
sation or  confession  of  the  sisters,  which  each  one  makes  on  her 
knees  in  the  following  manner,  "  My  sister,  I  accuse  myself  of 
having  walked  too  heavily  ;  of  making  too  much  noise  in  shut- 
ting the  doors  ;  of  giving  my  eyes  too  much  liberty ;  of  running 
down  stairs  too  fast ;  of  not  rising  at  the  first  sound  of  the  bell 
in  the  morning ;  of  eating  between  meals  ;  of  kissing  a  little  in- 
fant for  its  beauty.  I  spent  too  much  time  in  the  parlor  ;  also 
conversed  too  long  with  Father  so  and  so.  For  these  and  all 
other  sins,  which  I  cannot  call  to  mind,  I  humbly  beg  a  penance, 
and  also  request  my  sisters  to  point  out  to  me  the  faults  which 
they  may  have  observed  in  me,  contrary  to  our  holy  rules.' 
Penances  are  then  inflicted  by  the   Mistress  of   Chapter,  ac- 


SO  RULES    AND   DAILY    ROUTINE    OF    THE    SISTERS. 

cording  as  she  likes  or  dislikes  the  sisters,  and  if  she  is  actu- 
ated by  jealousy  or  envy,  she  will  keep  the  sisters  on  their  knees 
two  hours  at  a  time,  while  she  will  unjustly  accuse  them  of 
faults  which  they  never  committed.  (Sisters  sin  with  impunity 
against  the  direct  commandments  of  God  without  reprehension, 
while  the  least  insignificant  offense  against  the  rules  and  cus- 
toms is  punished  with  severe  penances.) 

After  chapter  they  join  iu  vocal  prayers  from  the  prayer 
book.  The  lights  are  then  extinguished,  and  all  retire  to  their 
different  cells.  (Chapter  nights  sisters  retire  about  11  o'clock.) 
The  superior  often  dispenses  with  the  rules  and  gives  refresh- 
ment to  the  priests,  when  they  often  linger  until  the  "  wee 
sma'  hours." 

Sisters  are  obliged  to  go  to  confession  every  Friday  to  the 
parish  priest,  and  every  three  months  they  make  an  extra  con- 
fession to  a  Jesuit  or  Passionist  Father.  The  rite  of  confession 
affords  the  fathers  great  freedom  to  accomplish  the  purposes 
they  may  entertain.  Seated  in  the  Confessional,  j^riests  are 
empowered  to  propound  questions  which,  from  the  lips  of  others, 
would  be  deemed  flagrant  insults ;  kneeling  before  him,  a  sister 
must  listen  to  and  answer  questions  which  fire  a  pure  soul  with 
indignation,  and  are  calculated  to  destroy  every  feeling  of  mod- 
esty, which  is  the  handmaid  of  chastity  and  woman's  most  beau- 
tiful gift.  Auricular  confession  in  the  Roman  Catholic  Church 
is  the  underlying  element  which  gravitates  to  the  priest  as  its 
centre. 

The  Confessional  is  a  spiritual  Court  of  Justice ;  the  priest 
is  God's  legate ;  he  hears  the  accusation  of  the  soul  in  its  own 


RULES    AND    DAILY   ROUTINE    OF   THE    SISTERS.  Si 

condemnation ;  he  is  minister  plenipotentiary  to  the  Omnipo- 
tent. Confession  produces  deleterious  effects  upon  the  soul  of 
woman  through  the  undue  persuasion  of  priests  working  upon 
her  sensitive  scrupulosity  and  the  excessive  intensity  of  her 
nature.  After  her  mental  strength  has  been  drawn  to  the  proper 
point,  she  is  irrevocably  in  his  priestly  toils.  Oh,  how  much 
of  this  is  carried  on  and  buried  in  the  cess-pool  of  the  confes- 
sional !  Sisters  are  obliged  to  regard  the  voice  of  their  confes- 
sor with  as  much  credence  as  if  Christ  himself  addressed  them  ; 
therefore,  no  limit  is  placed  to  their  confidence  until  they  are 
victimized  by  the  black-hearted  betrayer. 

In  the  Convent,  superiors  and  officers  are  elected  by  vote 
(one  illustration  of  the  woman's  ballot-box).  There  are  fac- 
tions and  party  feelings.  The  defeated  party  are  jealous  of  the 
triumphant ;  consequently  it  becomes  a  hell  of  contention,  strife 
and  envy.  Sadly  do  they  mistake  who  think  nuns  are  free 
from  the  evil  susceptibilities  of  human  frailty.  Neither  is  it  to 
be  wondered  at  that  many  of  them  become  hardened  hypocrites 
by  thus  living  in  direct  opposition  to  the  best  part  of  their  na- 
ture, while  many  others  become  the  sorrowing  victims  of  Con- 
vent wrongs.  Oh,  how  many  gifted  and  talented  young  minds 
are  pining  away  in  their  prison-cells  without  the  courage  to  es- 
cape such  a  life  of  mockery !  In  a  wild  and  youthful  enthusiasm 
they  made  their  choice ;  and  they  must  abide  by  it  until  death 
claims  them  as  his  own. 


CHAPTER    V. 

THE    VOW    OF    POVERTY. 

I  shall  now  proceed  to  show  the  obligations  of  nuns  as 
bound  by  the  Vows  of  Poverty,  Chastity,  and  Obedience.  A  sis- 
ter is  bound  by  the  vow  of  poverty  to  have  no  dominion — no 
property — no  use  of  any  temporal  thing — without  license  from 
a  superior ;  hence,  two  things  necessarily  follow  :  first,  that  the 
vow  of  poverty  obliges  a  nun  not  to  possess,  or  take,  or  receive, 
any  temporal  thing,  in  order  to  keep,  make  use  of,  or  dispose  of 
it,  in  any  manner  whatsoever,  without  leave  of  the  Superior. 
Second,  that  a  sister  acts  contrary  to  her  vow  of  poverty,  not 
only  when  without  permission  she  takes,  retains,  or  in  any  man- 
ner disposes  of  anything  that  belongs  to  the  community,  but 
likewise  when  she  accepts  of  anything  from  persons  abroad, 
though  they  be  parents  or  friends,  without  the  consent  of  the 
superiors,  from  whom  it  is  a  sacrilege  to  conceal  anything; 
therefore  no  limit  is  placed  to  the  despotism  of  superiors  who 
selfishly  monopolize  all  things  for  themselves  and  the  priests. 

A  sister  commits  a  most  grievous  sin  if  she  violates  the  most 
trivial  obligation  of  her  Vow  of  Poverty  ;  for  instance,  if  a  sis- 
ter, without  leave  of  a  superior,  should  give  to  another  a  pic- 
(32) 


THE    VOW    OF    POVERTY.  oO 

til  re,  book,  flower,  pin,  or  needle,  she  would  sin  mortally  ;  be- 
cause the  act  of  giving  it  away  would  show  she  had  been  pro- 
prietor of  it.  Neither  can  a  sister,  without  license,  take  a  book 
out  of  the  library,  or  anything  out  of  the  wardrobe,  refectory, 
or  anv  other  place,  without  acting  in  direct  opposition  to  the 
vow  of  poverty.  If  a  friend  should  send  to  a  sister  any  deli- 
cacy, or  any  memento  of  friendship,  the  superior  will  take  it 
from  her  and  give  it  to  another ;  for  it  is  as  much  for  one  as 
another,  and  every  member  of  the  community  may  claim  it 
equally.  St.  Austin  says,  in  relation  to  the  vow  of  poverty,  as 
observed  by  religious  orders,  "  If  any  one  should  have  anything 
given  him  and  he  should  conceal  it  from  his  superior,  he  is 
guilty  of  theft."  St.  Basil  is  of  the  same  opinion  when  he  says, 
"  For  a  religious  to  possess  anything  as  an  individual,  without 
the  superior's  consent,  is  theft."  Hence,  as  taught  by  the  most 
eminent  doctors  of  the  Catholic  Church,  it  is  clear  that  a  sister 
who  receives  or  keeps  anything  in  private  is  guilty  of  theft  and 
sacrilege. 

In  order  to  have  complete  control  over  the  beclouded  minds 
of  subjects, wily  superiors  will  draw  on  their  fears  and  imagina- 
tions by  relating  frightful  examples  which  God  made  of  those 
religieases  who  violated  their  vows.  In  order  to  illustrate  the 
ignorance  and  blind  superstition  of  Catholic  sisters,  I  will  select 
a  few  examples  from  the  "  Christian  Perfection,"  of  Alphonsus 
Rodriguez,  Spanish  Jesuit,  which  is  daily  read  to  Sisters  of 
Charity  and  Jesuits.  Rodriguez  says,  "  We  read  in  the  chron- 
icles of  St.  Francis  that  there  was  a  brother  in  one  of  the  Con- 
vents of  his  order  who  knew  how  to  read  a  little,  and,  desirous 


34  THE    VOW    OF    POVERTY. 

to  learn  more,  found  means  of  procuring  himself  a  Psalter.  But 
as  St.  Francis'  rule  prohibited  all  lay-brothers  to  learn  to  read, 
the  father  guardian,  understanding  he  had  got  this  book,  asked 
him  for  it.  He  answered  that  he  had  it  not ;  the  guardian 
pressed  him  to  tell  where  he  had  put  it,  and  showed  him  that 
to  live  proprietor  of  anything  was  to  live  in  a  continual  breach 
of  his  vows ;  yet  the  brother  would  not  hearken  to  what  he 
said,  nor  obey  him.  Not  long  after  this  he  fell  dangerously 
sick,  and  the  guardian,  for  fear  he  should  die  in  that  state,  com- 
manded him,  in  virtue  of  holy  obedience,  to  restore  the  book  or 
tell  him  where  he  had  hid  it ;  but  this  unhappy  man,  being 
hardened  in  his  sin,  died  without  declaring  anything.  The 
night  after  he  was  buried,  when  the  sacristan  rang  to  matins,  he 
saw  a  frightful  ghost  coming  suddenly  towards  him  ;  and  hearing 
a  melancholy,  mournful  voice,  without  being  able  to  understand 
anything  distinctly,  he  was  seized  with  such  fear  that  he  fell  down 
as  if  dead.  The  religious,  having  heard  the  first  peal  of  matins, 
wondered  why  the  bell  did  not  ring  again ;  and,  after  having 
waited  a  little  they  went  to  the  church  and  found  the  sacristan 
lying  along  as  a  dead  man,  who,  coming  to  himself,  told  them 
what  had  happened.  After  they  had  begun  to  sing  matins,  the 
game  ghost  appeared  again,  crying  and  howling  out  lamentably, 
but  did  not  utter  any  word  so  clearly  as  to  be  understood.  The 
guardian,  to  encourage  his  religieus  who  seemed  very  much  af- 
frighted, commanded  the  spirit  in  the  name  of  God  to  tell  who 
he  was,  and  what  he  wanted  there.  To  whom  it  replied,  I  am 
the  lay-brother  whom  you  buried  yesterday.  Then  the  guard- 
ian asked  him  if  he  stood  in  need  of  the  prayers  of  the  religieus  ? 


THE    VOW    OF    POVERTY.  35 

to  whom  he  answered,  no,  for  they  could  do  him  no  good,  as  he 
was  eternally  damned  on  account  of  the  book  which  he  had 
kept  in  his  possession  at  the  hour  of  his  death.  Since,  there- 
fore, replied  the  guardian,  we  cannot  do  you  any  service,  I  com- 
mand you,  in  the  name  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  to  depart 
hence  immediately,  and  to  return  no  more  to  disturb  us.  These 
words  were  scarcely  uttered  when  the  ghost  disappeared  and 
was  never  seen  after." 

Examples  like  the  above  are  daily  quoted  from  the  writings 
of  so-called  saints,  calculated  to  engender  the  most  rank  isnor- 
ance  and  superstition.  Oh,  what  duplicity  is  here  practised  by 
those  in  authority  upon  the  darkened  minds  of  their  unfortunate 
dupes,  who  accept  these  lying  legends  with  ixs  much  avidity  as 
a  prattling  little  child  accepts  the  fables  of  the  "Arabian 
Nights." 


f 


CHAPTER    VI. 

VOWS    OF    CHASTITY    AND    OBEDIENCE. 

The  two  vows  known  as  Chastity  and  Obedience  will  doubt- 
less prove  startling  to  those  to  whom  Jesuitical  casuistry  and 
doctrine  are  unknown  pursuits  of  study.  A  sister  breaks  the 
vow  of  chastity  by  looking  a  man  in  the  face ;  she  must  not 
raise  her  eyes  when  speaking  to  one  of  the  opposite  sex ;  she 
must  not  touch  a  sister's  hand,  or  habit,  or  allow  herself  to  be 
touched  by  another.  If  allowed  to  see  a  father  or  brother,  she 
cannot  take  his  hand ;  she  must  renounce  all  curiosity,  never 
look  around  her,  nor  through  a  window,  nor  toward  a  door 
when  opened  to  see  who  enters.  She  must  walk  in  the  cloister 
and  street  with  down-cast  eyes,  never  showing  a  sign  of  recog- 
nition to  an  acquaintance. 

Should  a  pupil  linger  beside  a  sister  longer  than  is  necessary, 
the  sister  is  reported  to  the  superior  as  being  too  familiar  with 
the  children.  On  account  of  my  natural  cheerfulness  of  char- 
acter I  was  a  particular  favorite  with  the  children  and  scholars 
in  general,  consequently  my  pupils  were  very  affectionate  to- 
ward me,  often  manifesting  their  love  by  taking  my  hand,  en- 
circling my  waist,  sitting  at  my  feet,  kissing  my  habit,  etc., 
(36) 


VOWS    OF    CHASTITY    AND    OBEDIENCE.  37 

whereupon  I  would  be  reported  as  guilty  of  great  impropriety, 
because  I  would  venture  to  show  any  affection  toward  some 
gentle  girl  whose  sunny  smile  would  cheer  my  sad  and  isolated 
heart,  which  seemed  perishing  for  love  and  sympathy.  I  was 
thus  forced  to  recoil  from  their  innocent  demonstrations  of  love 
as  from  a  serpent's  touch,  which,  if  I  failed  to  do,  I  would  be 
reported  by  the  spies  of  the  community  who  are  ever  on  the 
alert. 

Should  a  sister's  thoughts  go  out  into  the  world,  or  should 
her  mind  overleap  prescribed  limits,  especially  with  reference 
to  a  priest,  she  must  make  known  that  thought  at  the  Confes- 
sional. In  other  words,  should  a  sister  fall  in  love  with  a  priest 
she  is  bound  to  tell  him  of  it,  and  obtain  his  advice  about  it. 
Should  a  sister,  on  a  mission,  entertain  an  affection  for  a  priest, 
she  can  inform  the  superior,  and  ask  for  a  change  of  place. 

A  sister  is  bound  to  accuse  herself  of  all  things  relating  to 
chastity ;  must  disclose  any  temptation,  nay,  less  than  that,  a 
dream,  a  vision  against  purity  must  be  minutely  detailed  to  the 
confessor.  Here  note  the  infamous  craft  of  these  regulations : 
A  young  girl  being  bound  by  her  rules  to  disclose  every  im- 
pulse of  her  nature  to  her  confessor, — the  priest  thus  informed 
can  take  advantage  of  her  as  he  may  feel  inclined.  Sometimes 
policy  will  induce  him  to  express  a  i  holy  horror  at  the  offense 
with  a  view  to  exalting  his  sanctity,  especially  if  he  have  an 
aversion  for  the  penitent,  or  should  deem  her  an  unsuitable 
subject  for  his  purposes.  On  the  other  hand,  should  his  evil 
heart  suggest  to  him  the  moral  destruction  of  this  sister,  how 
great  the  facility  he  possesses  for  its  accomplishment.     In  the 


38  VOWS    OF    CHASTITY    AND    OBEDIENCE. 

book  of  the  "Conferences,"  St.  Vincent  directs  that  a  priest 
shall  not  be  permitted  to  enter  the  apartments  of  the  sisters^ 
The  devil,  he  remarks,  "is  always  at  work,  and  even  angels 
have  fallen ;"  and  yet  the  novices  sleep  in  cells  without  doors. 
It  is  also  forbidden  that  a  sister  should  see  a  priest  alone  in  the 
parlor ;  neither  is  it  allowed  that  she  should  visit  a  priest  alone  ; 
yet  she  may  remain  at  the  Confessional  for  any  length  of  time 
alone  with  her  confessor ;  and  she  may  confess  to  him  in  his 
own  room  in  case  of  his  indisposition.  The  priests  often  enter 
the  rooms  of  the  superiors,  and  remain  there  for  a  considerable 
time ;  nor  is  any  one  permitted  to  open  the  door,  or  enter  the 
room  during  their  stay.  When  a  priest  enters  the  room  of  a 
superior,  or  officer,  should  a  private  sister  be  present  at  the 
time,  she  is  told  to  withdraw  at  once  j  nor  is  any  one  allowed 
to  enter  while  he  remains. 

Various  injunctions  and  examples,  as  the  following,  are  daily 
read  to  the  sisters.  St.  Alphonsus  Liguori  says,  "  a  deliberate 
glance  at  a  person  of  a  different  sex,  enkindles  an  infernal  spark 
which  damns  the  soul."  St.  Clara  would  never  look  in  the  face 
of  a  man.  She  was  greatly  afflicted  because  she  once  involun- 
tarily saw  the  countenance  of  a  priest.  (There  are  not  many 
St.  Claras  in  the  convents  of  the  nineteenth  century  !)  It  is 
related  of  St.  Arsenius,  that  a  noble  lady  went  to  visit  him  in 
the  desert  to  beg  of  him  to  recommend  her  to  God.  When  this 
saint  perceived  that  his  visitor  was  a  woman,  he  turned  away 
from  her.  She  then  said  to  him,  "Arsenius,  since  you  will 
neither  see  nor  hear  me,  at  least  remember  me  in  your  pray- 


VOWS    OF    CHASTITY    AND    OBEDIENCE.  '69 

ers."      "  No !"    replied  the   saint,  "  but  I  will  beg  of  God  to 
make  me  forget  you,  and  nevermore  to  think  of  you." 

By  the  vow  of  Obedience,  a  sister  is  required  to  give  up  not 
only  her  will  but  also  her  judgment  and  reason.  Her  superior, 
a  woman  oftentimes  of  inferior  intellect,  ignorant,  superstitious, 
and  domineering,  cannot  be  addressed  except  on  the  knees  of 
the  sister ;  she  must  kneel  at  her  feet,  and  listen  to  her  com- 
mands as  coming  from  the  mouth  of  God.  A  sister  must  obey 
promptly  the  first  sound  of  the  bell  which  calls  them  to  the  dif- 
ferent exercises  of  the  day  and  night,  and  instantly  drop  every- 
thing she  is  engaged  in.  Even  if  writing  she  must  leave  a  let- 
ter  half  formed.  A  sister  must  obey  blindly,  i.  e.,  obey  without 
reasoning  on  any  point,  and  submit  will  and  understanding  to  a 
superior;  therefore,  a  sister  must  submit  indiscriminately  to 
everything  commanded,  though  that  which  is  commanded  should 
even  be  criminal.  This  obedience  is  called  perfect  because  it 
obeys  without  discussion  or  examination ;  hence,  a  sister  in  the 
observance  of  obedience  must  be  as  a  dead  body  which  sees  not, 
answers  not,  complains  not,  nor  has  any  perception ;  so  a  sister 
must  have  no  eyes  to  observe  curiously  her  superior's  actions ; 
must  make  no  reply  to  the  prescriptions  of  obedience,  no  matter 
whether  they  are  criminal,  repulsive,  or  absurd.  A  sister  must 
obey  as  if  she  had  no  feeling,  accordingly  she  must  be  in  the 
hands  of  superiors  like  a  staff  which  is  taken  in  the  hands  to 
walk  with.  A  staff  goes  wherever  it  is  carried  ;  it  has  no  mo- 
tion but  what  it  receives  from  the  hand  that  controls  it.  A 
sister  must  be  the  same ;  she  gives  herself  into  the  hands  of 
her  superiors,  to  do  with  as  they  like.     When  a  sister  receives 


40  VOWS    OF    CHASTITY    AND    OBEDIENCK. 

a  command  from  her  superior,  or  confessor,  she  is  taught  to  be- 
lieve that  she  is  more  certain  of  doing  the  will  of  God  in  obey- 
ing their  orders  than  if  an  angel  came  down  from  heaven  to 
manifest  His  will  to  her.  Her  rule  says,  that  obedience  is  the 
only  sure  way  that  leads  to  salvation.  The  vow  of  obedience 
is  supreme — the  voice  of  the  superior,  the  voice  of  God  ;  there- 
fore, if  any  command  clashes  with  the  vow  of  chastity,  or  any 
other  obligation,  the  vow  of  obedience  must  have  the  su- 
premacy. 

A  sister  is  in  the  greatest  danger  of  moral  death  who  thus 
gives  herself  to  the  guidance  of  passive  and  blind  obedience. 
Her  conscience  is  stifled ;  she  must  not  trouble  herself  about 
the  sin  or  its  consequences,  when  she  is  bound  to  think  the  vow 
of  obedience  the  only  way  to  heaven.  Oh,  what  blasphemy! 
what  delusion  !  May  the  blessed  light  of  the  Son  of  God  shine 
upon  their  poor  misguided  souls,  and  let  fall  from  their  dark- 
ened eyes  the  scales  of  error,  and  give  them  to  know  and  feel 
that  Jesus  is  the  only  way,  the  truth,  and  the  life.  Such  is  the 
earnest  prayer  of  my  heart  for  all  deluded  children  of  supersti- 
tion. None, save  those  who,  like  myself,  have  been  groping  in 
the  black  wilderness  of  Romanism,  and  at  last  have  found  de- 
liverance by  the  light  of  Jesus,  can  know  what  it  means. 


CHAPTER    VII. 

A     MISSION     TO     ST.    JOSEPH'S    ORPHAN     ASYLUM,     IN 

PATERSON,   N.   J. 

I  have  briefly  treated  of  the  vows  and  regulations  of  Sisters 
of  Charity  in  the  preceding  chapters,  in  order  that  my  readers 
can  more  clearly  understand  the  nature  of  the  obligations  en- 
forced upon  me  by  these  vows.  I  will  again  resume  my  per- 
sonal experience.  On  the  fourth  of  January,  18(53,  four  days 
after  I  was  clothed  in  the  habit  of  the  novice,  I  was  sent  to 
Paterson,  N.  J.  At  the  sight  of  St.  Joseph's  Orphan  Asylum, 
that  cold  winter  day,  my  soul  was  filled  with  the  most  conflict- 
ing emotions,  and  I  became  so  overpowered  by  my  feelings 
that  I  gave  way  to  a  copious  flow  of  tears  as  I  entered  the 
community  room,  to  present  myself  to  my  new  companions, 
whom  I  will  now  introduce  to  the  readers,  as  follows : 

Sister  Mary  Joseph,  the  sister-servant,  was  a  most  stern  and 
unfeeling  woman,  well  calculated  to  render  my  novitiate  one  of 
unmitigated  tyranny.  She  received  me  in  the  coldest  of  co'd 
manners,  and  my  affectionate  greeting  to  the  other  sisters  was 
also  repulsed  by  their  coldness.  They  appeared  like  mere 
statues,  without  feeling,  without  heart.  Sister  Gertrude,  a 
(41) 


42  A    MISSTON    TO    ST.    JOSEPH'S. 

weak-minded  woman  of  twenty-six  years,  was  next  in  office  to 
the  sister-servant.  Sister  Ann  Joseph,  a  cranky,  sharp-visaged 
woman  of  thirty  years,  was  mother  of  orphans.  Sister  Mary 
de  Sales,  a  German,  about  twenty-two  years  of  age,  born  and 
brought  np  in  the  woods  of  Boonton,  N.  J.,  without  any  educa- 
tion, in  fact,  unable  to  write  her  own  name,  had  been  neverthe- 
less appointed  to  teach  the  orphans.  This  sister  was  one  of 
those  weak  souls  who  are  always  scandalized  by  their  neighbor's 
faults ;  consequently  she  was  the  principal  spy  of  the  house, 
always  reporting  the  faults  of  her  companions  to  sister  Mary 
Joseph,  who  commended  her  for  it.  Lastly,  sister  Mary  Gon- 
zaga,  another  cruel  and  stern  woman  of  thirty,  filled  up  the  num- 
ber of  those  uncongenial  souls,  among  whom  my  desolate  and 
lonely  heart  was  destined  to  become  still  more  desolate  and 
lonely. 

On  the  morning  following  my  arrival,  Sister  Mary  Joseph 
promoted  Sister  Ann  Joseph,  to  be  house-keeper,  and  installed  me 
Mother  of  the  Orphans.  This  office,  to  me,  was  one  of  the 
most  trying  that  could  possibly  be  imagined,  and  no  language 
can  express  the  feelings  I  experienced  when  I  first  beheld  these 
poor  children  huddled  together  in  a  cheerless  class-room,  with- 
out fire,  without  shoes,  bare  shoulders,  and  bare  arms,  crying 
and  shivering  with  the  cold,  presenting  altogether  the  most  for- 
lorn and  miserable  scene  I  had  ever  before  witnessed.  The 
daily  regimen  of  these  poor  children  is  as  follows  :  They  rise  at 
six  o'clock,  hastily  dress,  and  repair  to  the  bath-room,  the  older 
orphans  always  assisting  the  younger  because  the  sisters  are 
forbid  touching  them.     After  they  are  washed  and  combed,  they 


A   MISSION    TO    ST.   JOSEPH'S.  43 

proceed  to  a  cold  class-room  for  morning  prayers ;  then  to  a 
scanty  and  unpalatable  breakfast,  which,  without  any  change, 
always  consists  of  dry  bread  and  coffee,  without  milk  or  sugar, 
made  from  the  refuse  coffee  of  the  sisters'  table.  The  orphans' 
table  is  covered  with  a  black,  greasy  oil-cloth  ;  to  each  child  is 
thrown  a  piece  of  bread,  which  is  eaten  from  the  table  without 
a  plate  ;  the  coffee  is  served  in  tin  cups.  Their  appetite  is 
never  satisfied  on  the  scanty  allowance  given  them ;  and  they 
retire  fruin  the  refectory  almost  as  hungry  as  when  entering  it. 
It  is  most  painful  to  witness  the  wistful  and  yearning  glances 
they  cast  at  the  fragrant  and  tempting  meats  on  the  sisters' 
table. 

The  oldest  of  the  orphans  is  scarcely  twelve  years,  yet  they 
perform  all  the  work  in  the  asylum.  They  do  all  their  own 
washing  and  ironing ;  scrub  the  halls,  dormitories,  class-rooms, 
and  refectories  ;  make  beds,  sweep,  and  wash  dishes,  etc.  At 
half-past  eight,  A.  M.,  those  who  are  permitted  to  attend  school 
assemble  in  the  clothes-room,  where  they  divest  themselves  of 
their  old  and  tattered  clothes,  and  don  the  red  or  green  plaid 
uniform  with  which  they  appear  in  public.  At  twelve  o'clock 
they  again  march,  two  by  two,  to  the  refectory,  where  they 
partake  of  a  meal,  if  possible,  more  uncomfortable  than  that  of 
the  morning.  Their  dinner  consists  of  soup  made  from  poor 
and  infected  meat  thickened  with  the  waxy  remnants  of  the 
unleavened  wafer,  and  crusts  of  mouldy  bread,  portioned  out  to 
them  in  cups,  from  which  they  eat  with  discolored  pewter  spoons. 
I  never  saw  a  plate,  or  knife  and  fork,  on  the  orphans'  table. 

At  one  o'clock  they  again  go  to   school,  and  remain  until 


44  A    MISSION    TO    ST.    JOSEPH'S. 

three,  when  school  is  dismissed.  After  school  the  uniform  is 
replaced  by  their  old  comfortless  rags.  At  five  o'clock  they 
have  supper,  which  consists  invariably  of  mush  and  molasses, 
and,  for  a  change,  mush  and  buttermilk.  Sometimes  the  w^eak, 
little  stomachs  of  these  children  refused  their  unpalatable  food*, 
and  on  such  occasions  sister  Ann  Joseph,  the  house-keeper, 
would  stand  over  them  with  a  leather  strap,  called  Cat-o'-nine- 
tails, and  whip  them  until  they  ate  the  nauseous  food ;  or  else 
they  were  starved  until  they  were  glad  to  eat  anything. 

I  could  not  refrain  from  weeping  when,  on  the  second  day  of 
my  arrival,  sister  Ann  Joseph  (their  former  mother)  compelled 
them  to  run  with  bare  feet  in   the  snow  for  one-half  hour,  and 
she   applied  the  cat-o'-nine-tails  vigorously  on   the   bare  shoul- 
ders of  those  who  stopped  or  hesitated.      This   sister  ridiculed 
my  tender  feelings  toward  the  orphans,  telling  me  I  would  soon 
get  hardened  to  such  thing?.     I  asked  her  what  object  she  had 
in  thus  exposing  those   poor  little  ones  to  such  hardships  ;  she 
replied,  "  to  make  them  tough  and  hardy,"  as  she  did  "  not  be- 
lieve in  making  hot-house  plants  of  orphans ;"  and  she  further 
remarked,  that  during  the   two   years   she  had  charge  of  them 
she  never  failed  to  make  them  run  in  that  manner  twice  a  week, 
winter  and   summer,  and  that  I  must  enforce   the   same  disci- 

pline. 

Notwithstanding  the  severe  instructions  given  me  in  regard 
to  the  ffovernment  of  these  forlorn  little  ones,  I  resolved  to  rule 
them  in  love  and  kindness.  Their  helpless  and  desolate  condi- 
tion made  a  deep  impression  on  my  mind  and  called  out  all  the 
sympathy  of  my  heart.     I  spoke  to  them  tenderly,  and  smiled 


A    MISSION    TO    ST.    JOSEPHS.  45 

upon  them  affectionately,  and  they  soon  ceased  to  tremble  at 
my  approach.  They  were  in  such  great  fear  of  the  sisters,  that 
the  verv  sight  of  one  would  send  them,  shivering  and  crouching 
with  terror,  out  of  sight.  I  assisted  the  young  children  in  all 
their  necessities ;  I  combed  their  heads,  which,  through  neglect 
were  swarming  with  vermin,  and  covered  with  sores  and  scabs, 
rendering  it  the  most  repulsive  office  I  ever  performed  ;  how- 
ever, with  daily  combing,  and  the  use  of  red-precipitate,  they 
were  in  a  good  condition  before  three  weeks  had  passed.  Every 
Saturday  I  bathed  their  neglected  bodies,  which  were  also 
covered  with  vermin.  This  treatment,  to  which  they  had  been 
strangers,  soon  obtained  the  affection  of  their  little  hearts  for 
me,  and  they  would  hail  my  approach  with  pleasure,  every  eye 
beaming  with  welcome  whenever  I  came  near  them.  They 
ventured  to  sit  at  my  feet,  and  by  my  side,  vieing  with  each 
other  who  would  come  the  nearest  to  me,  while  I  would  relate 
to  them  little  anecdotes  as  I  sat  mending  their  tattered  clothes. 
I  was  only  with  the  orphans  in  the  morning,  before  school,  and 
after  school  in  the  evening,  until  the  next  morning,  as  I  was 
also  obliged  to  teach  sixty  children  in  the  Parochial  school. 

But  this  state  of  things  was  not  to  last  always.  Sister  De 
Sales,  the  "  reporter,''  seeing  the  affection  and,  as  she  called  it, 
undue  familiarity  which  I  manifested  toward  the  poor  orphans, 
reported  me  to  sister  Mary  Joseph,  who  called  me  to  account  for 
it,  and  forbade  me  allowing  the  children  to  come  near  me.  I 
told  these  little  ones  the  command  I  had  received  from  my  su- 
perior, at  the  same  time  assuring  them  of  my  love,  and  that  I 
would  show  them  all   the   kindness   in   my  power.     I  was  sub- 


46  A    MISSION    TO    ST.    JOSEPH'S. 

jected  to  the  closest  scrutiny  by  the  sly  sister  De  Sales.  It 
was  a  matter  of  astonishment  to  her  why  I  never  whipped  the 
orphans,  and  one  day  she  reported  to  sister  Mary  Joseph  that 
one  of  them,  named  Mary  Grey,  had  told  her  a  falsehood,  and 
ought  to  be  punished  severely  for  it.  Accordingly  she  came  to 
me  with  an  order  from  sister  Mary  Joseph,  commanding  me  to 
inflict  a  severe  chastisement.  I  called  Mary  Grey  aside,  and 
chided  her  for  her  fault  by  -portraying  to  her  in  vivid  colors  the 
enormity  and  hidcousness  of  the  sin,  and  in  punishment  I  told 
her  to  go  on  her  knees  and  ask  God  to  forgive  her,  which  she 
did  very  contritely.  But  the  poor  child  was  not  to  escape  so 
easily ;  sister  Mary  Joseph,  who  was  watching  through  a  side 
door,  strided  into  the  room,  and  in  a  fierce  manner  asked  me 
why  I  did  not  obey  her  orders  and  punish  the  child.  I  replied 
I  had.  To  which  she  responded,  "  I'll  teach  you  how  to  pun- 
ish her, — you  are  spoiling  those  orphans,  and  soon  they  will  rule 
the  sisters."  She  then  took  the  child  into  a  cellar,  command- 
ing me  to  follow  her.  She  tied  this  little  child,  only  about  six 
years  old,  across  a  broken  chair  ;  stripped  off  her  clothes,  and 
in  a  merciless  manner  applied  the  lash  on  the  tender  flesh,  which 
rose  in  purple  stripes  at  every  stroke.  Such  cruelty  I  had 
never  before  witnessed,  and  the  tears  rolled  down  my  cheeks  at 
the  sight.  But  the  sight  of  my  emotion  maddened  her,  and 
turning  to  me  she  said,  "  I'll  teach  you  to  get  over  your  fine 
feelings,  and  at  once  !"  She  then  gave  me  the  strap,  command- 
ing me  to  beat  the  child  in  the  same  manner  she  had.  I  re- 
monstrated, saying  I  thought  the  child  was  punished  enough 
on  that  occasion.     Whereupon  she  took  up  a  large  clothes- 


A    MISSION    TO    ST.    JOSEPH'S.  47 

stick  and  gave  me  a  blow  with  it  across  the  shoulders,  asking, 
"  was  that  the  way  to  practice  the  vow  of  obedience,  as  a  supe- 
rior's orders  were  not  to  be  questioned  but  obeyed  blindly  ?" 
There  was  no  alternative,  I  must  obey.  I  took  the  strap,  and 
offering  the  action  to  God,  for  the  first  time  in  my  life  I  raised 
my  hand  to  inflict  pain.  Oh,  it  was  a  terrible  trial;  and  I  can 
never  forget  the  agony  of  that  day,  and  the  reflections  which 
followed.  I  had  sacrificed  all  that  was  sacred  to  me  on  earth, 
and  entered  a  convent,  and  for  what  ?  To  labor  as  I  thought, 
in  the  service  of  the  poor  and  afflicted,  and  secure  the  salvation 
of  my  soul,  aided  by  the  example  of  meek  and  holy  women ; 
whereas,  I  found  them  cruel,  hardened,  and  unfeeling.  I  ex- 
pected to  meet  with  Christian  love  and  kindness,  yet  a  Sister 
of  Charity  had  struck  me  a  severe  blow  with  a  large  stick,  and 
compelled  me  to  act  inhumanly.  Oh,  how  my  spirit  resented 
such  treatment,  and  my  soul  was  filled  with  bitterness  toward 
that  cruel  sister.  But  my  conscience  reproached  me  with  sin- 
fulness of  entertaining  such  thoughts  against  a  superior  who 
represented  God  to  me.  I  humbled  myself,  and  knelt  at  her 
feet,  confessing  to  her  the  feelings  I  entertained  for  her,  and 
which  her  conduct  called  forth.  I  asked  forgiveness,  and  re- 
quested her  to  pray  for  me  that  those  temptations  might  leave 
me.  She  replied,  "  she  would  rather  pray  for  the  devil  than 
for  me,"  and  ordered  me  out  of  her  presence. 

My  heart  was  convulsed  with  an  unspeakable  agony,  and  my 

soul  was  plunged  into  dark  waters,  temptation,  and  despair.     I 

retired  to  my  lonely  cell,  where  I  seemed  to  see  the  outstretched 

arms  of  my  beloved  mother  beckoning  me  with  inexpressible 

3 


48  A   MISSION    TO    ST.   JOSEPH'S. 

tenderness  to  come  to  her  again  and  find  happiness  in  her  love. 
Oh,  what  a  temptation  was  this  to  my  crushed  and  bleeding 
heart  to  forsake  the  gloomy  convent,  and  fly  to  my  mother ;  to 
revolt  against  the  authority  of  cruel  superiors  and  break  the 
chains  which  detained  me  in  that  cold  and  living  sepulchre  ! 
But  the  very  idea  froze  my  blood,  and  an  invincible  terror  par- 
alyzed me.  What,  break  my  holy  vows  ?  cause  so  much  scan- 
dal to  a  church  which  had  nourished  me  with  so  many  graces 
and  blessings  ?  become  a  spectacle  to  all  the  world,  and  an  exe- 
cration to  the  community  ?  Alas !  I  had  not  the  moral  courage 
to  brave  so  formidable  a  disgrace.  What,  damn  my  immortal 
soul?  become  a  traitor  to  my  holy  vocation ?  I  could  not,  I 
could  not.  I  must  save  my  soul  at  every  cost.  No  matter  how 
much  and  how  great  were  the  sufferings  inflicted  in  this  life,  my 
reward  would  be  eternal. 

Such  reflections  were  a  foretaste  of  the  many  fearful  struggles 
my  heart  endured  for  weary  years  in  the  convent.  I  had  of 
my  own  free  will  commenced  a  life  of  unnatural  warfare  against 
all  that  was  human,  every  heaven-bestowed  instinct  must  be 
repressed  and  destroyed,  no  escape  from  my  dreary  tomb — I 
must  abide  the  consequences  of  that  false  step  and  resign  my- 
self to  my  desolate  fate,  without  love,  without  sympathy,  a  poor, 
forlorn  orphan. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

CONTINUATION    OP   MY   EXPERIENCE    IN   PATERSON. 

About  four  weeks  after  the  events  related  in  the  last  chapter, 
I  was  one  day  trying  to  reach  something  from  the  summit  of 
the  wardrobe.  I  was  standing  on  a  pine  step-ladder,  about 
four  feet  from  the  floor.  Not  being  quite  able  to  reach  up  far 
enough,  I  stood  on  "  tip-toe,"  when  the  step-ladder  suddenly 
slid  from  under  my  feet,  precipitating  me  to  the  floor,  and  as  I 
fell  partially  upon  the  steps,  they  were  completely  demolished. 
My  back  was  severely  hurt ;  but  no  matter  about  my  personal 
injuries,  it  was  the  steps  I  lamented,  because  I  knew  I  would  get 
a  severe  penance  for  breaking  them.  Tremblingly  I  gathered  up 
the  fragments  of  the  broken  ladder — tremblingly  I  carried  them 
to  Sister  Mary  Joseph,  and  tremblingly  I  knelt  at  her  feet  and 
asked  a  penance.  The  words  she  addressed  to  me  on  that  ocj 
casion  are  as  vividly  stamped  on  my  mind  as  if  it  were  yester- 
day I  heard  them.  They  were  such  unlady-like  expressions,  so 
different  from  anything  I  had  ever  heard  before,  that  I  will 
give  them  verbatim.  "  You  great  clumsy,  walloiving,  flounder-- 
ing  flat-fish,  its  just  like  you  to  destroy  everything  you  touch, 
and  as  a  penance  you  will  put  your  lazy  back  to  work  and 
49 


50  MY    EXPERIENCE    IN    PATERSON. 

make  another  pair  just  like  them."     Had  she  commanded  me 
to  fly  in  the  air,  it  could  not  have  appeared  more  difficult  to  me 
than  to  make  a  pair  of  steps.     I  had  never  in  my  life  performed 
a  carpenter's  task  of  any  description  ;  however,  obedience  would 
not  permit  me  to  remonstrate,  or  offer  any  excuse  or  argument, 
no  matter  how  inexpedient  and  absurd  the  command,  as  "  per- 
fect obedience  requires  a  soul  without  a  will,  and   a  will  with- 
out an  intellect."      It  being  Saturday,  there  was  no  school,  so 
I  had  all  day  to  perform  this  penance  at  the  neglect  of  every 
other  duty,  which  I  was  obliged  to  perform  before  midnight. 
I  called  Emma   Scanlan,  the   oldest   of  the  orphans,  to  my  as- 
sistance, and   sent  her  into  the  cellar  to  find  some  pine  boards, 
witli   saw,    axe,   hammer  and  nails,  while    I  repaired    to   the 
chapel  to  ask  St.  Joseph,  who  was  a  carpenter,  to  teach  me  how 
to  make  the  steps ;  and  then  expecting  a  miracle,  I  went  to  my 
task.     But  St.  Joseph  did  not  come  down  from  heaven  to  help 
me  as  I  superstitiously  expected.     I  sawed  and  hammered,  and 
hammered  and  sawed,  until  night,  before  I  succeeded  in  getting 
anything  together  in  the  shape  of  steps,  and  although  not  so 
complete  as  the   former  they  were  quite  as  substantial.     Again 
I  presented  myself  to  Sister  Mary  Joseph  to  know  if  my  work- 
manship  would  suit  her ;  but  she  was   determined  not  to  be 
suited,  and  notwithstanding  the  time  and  labor  I  had  spent  try- 
ing to  obey  her  unjust  commands,  she  ordered  me   to  put  on 
my  bonnet,  and  go  out   and  beg  the  price  of  them  before  sup- 
per.    This  was  another  deep  humiliation  to  me ;  however,  I 
succeeded  in  begging  five  dollars  from  the  deluded  people  who 
ars  afraid  to  refuse  the  "  holy  sisters  "  anything.     Sister  Mary 


MY    EXPERIENCE    IN    PATERSON.  51 

Joseph  kept  the  five  dollars  for  herself,  and  the  steps  I  made 
were  in  use  when  I  left  Paterson,  where  I  suppose  they  are 
now  kept  sacred  as  a  relic  of  the  since  rebellious  Sister  de 
Chantal. 

One  morning  in  May  all  the   sisters  were  employed  making 
flower-beds  in  the  garden  before  school  time.     I  was  busy  dig- 
ging with  a  little  fire  shovel,  and  while  thus  engaged  a  large 
earth  worm  flew  up  in  my  face,  causing  me  to  scream.     It  be- 
ing the  hour  of  silence,   Sister  Mary  Joseph   asked  who  had 
broken  the  rule  by  screaming  ?     Sister  De  Sales,  ever  ready 
to  report,  answered  that  it  was  Sister  Teresa  de  Chantal.     I 
explained  to  her  the  cause,  whereupon  she  ordered  me  to  take 
up  the  worm  and  eat  it.     I  was  horrified  at  this  command,  and 
told  her  I  was  afraid  it  would  poison  me.     To  which  she  re- 
sponded that  even  if  I  was   sure  it  would  kill  me,  it  was  my 
duty  to  obey,  reminding  me  of  St.  Catharine  of  Sienna  who  ate 
worms  out  of  a  cancer  in  a  woman's  breast ;  and  saying,  that  if 
I  ever  expected  to  become  a  Saint,I  must  imitate  their  morti- 
fication.     Naturally  I  have  the  greatest   abhorrence  to  any 
creeping  thing,  and  the  very  thought  of  taking  it  in  my  hand, 
was  unendurable.     But  to  eat  it,  ugh  !  disgusting  !     I  had  no 
sooner  taken  the  worm  in  my  hand  than  overcome  by  my  sen- 
sitiveness, I  let  it  fall  with  another  scream.     At  this  Sister  M. 
J.  became  exasperated,  took  the  worm  and  forced  it  into  my 
mouth  and  made  me  chew  it  until  I  became  violently  sick  at 
the  stomach. 

Christian  readers,  this   is  an   appalling  picture,  and  perhaps 
you  are  ready  to  ask,  Is  it  not  overdrawn  ?     So  far  from  this. 


52  MY  EXPERIENCE  IN  PATERSON. 

believe  me,  it  falls  far  short  of  the  reality ;  for  no  language 
can  describe  the  scene  as  it  really  occurred,  or  the  suffering  it 
occasioned  me.  To  you,  it  may  seem  absurd  and  unheard  of, 
nevertheless  it  is  a  bitter  fact,  and  I  challenge  Sister  Mary 
Joseph  to  contradict  it,  and  she  is  still  in  the  community  of 
Madison. 

I  have  seen  sisters,  voluntarily  and  without  any  compulsion, 
eat  worms  and  bugs.  Sister  De  Sales  always  picked  out  the 
worms  from  apples,  or  any  other  fruit  she  ate,  infected  with 
them,  and  would  come  and  eat  them  before  me  with  great 
gusto,  in  order  that  I  might  take  example  from  her  self-morti- 
fication, and  admire  her  sanctity  in  such  performances.  I  would 
have  been  much  more  edified  and  benefited,  had  she  set  me  an 
example  of  Christian  charity  instead  of  the  monstrous  excesses 
she  set  forth  as  laudable,  under  the  names  of  "  sanctity  "  and 
"  holy  austerity." 

A  great  number  of  holy  days  are  observed  among  the  nuns, 
and  on  such  days  the  priests  spend  the  time  in  the  convent, 
recreating  with  the  sisters,  without  any  regard  to  infringements 
of  the  rule,  which  allows  only  certain  hours  of  the  day  for  rec- 
reation. On  these  days  I  always  managed  to  steal  away  to  the 
chapel,  but  Sister  Mary  Joseph,  to  whom  my  piety  was  a  stum- 
bling block,  forbade  me  to  act  differently  from  the  other  sisters, 
and  commanded  me  to  remain  at  recreation  on  those  days,  even 
if  I  did  not  take  part.  I  will  relate  an  incident  which  occurred 
on  one  of  those  days.  A  number  of  priests  were  spending  the 
afternoon  with  the  sisters,  and  having  a  merry  time  over  their 
wine,  ice-cream,  cakes,  candies,  nuts,  etc.,  in  the  community- 


MY    EXPERIENCE    IN    PATERSON.  53 

room.  The  floor  of  this  room  was  bare.  A  large  insect  run- 
ning  on  the  floor  attracted  the  attention  of  Sister  Ann  Joseph, 
who  arose  from  her  chair,  and  killed  it  with  her  foot,  causing  a 
very  disagreeable  noise,  and  leaving  an  ugly  stain  on  the  floor. 
I  could  not  refrain  from  ejaculating,  "  Oh,  sister,  how  cruel !" 
This  exclamation  attracted  the  attention  of  the  priests  to  the 
act,  which  they  did  not  appear  to  have  noticed  before.  Sister 
Mary  Joseph  was  mortified  to  have  the  priests  notice  the  un- 
lady-like  action  of  Sister  Ann  Joseph,  and  she  gave  me  a  look 
which  plainly  said,  "  you  will  suffer  for  that."  However,  the 
evening  passed  away  without  any  reprimand;  but  the  next  day 
she  sent  a  child  to  the  school  after  me,  ordering  me  to  her 
presence  at  once.  I  obeyed  and  found  her  in  the  hen-yard  with 
a  large  carving  knife  in  her  hand,  and  a  hen  tied  by  the  feet. 
She  addressed  me  thus :  "  I  will  cure  your  sensitive  nerves, 
and  teach  you  never  to  mortify  me  by  causing  priests  to  notice 
the  faults  of  the  sisters.  A  mere  novice  like  you  to  presume 
to  find  fault  with  the  professed  sisters !"  She  then  bade  me 
take  the  knife  and  cut  the  head  off  the  hen.  I  took  the  knife 
and  commenced  to  cut  the  hen's  head.  The  hen  began  to  kick 
and  jump,  which  caused  me  to  drop  the  knife  and  tremble  m 
sympathy  with  the  hen.  I  told  Sister  M.  it  was  impossible 
for  me  to  kill  it,  because  I  could  not  endure  to  see  it  suffer. 
She  insisted,  and  I  again  tried,but  with  the  same  success  as 
before.  I  tried  again  and  again,  and  did  not  succeed  till  after 
one  hour  of  the  greatest  suffering  to  both  hen  and  myself,  as  I 
fainted  twice  during  the  operation. 

I  was  not  the  only  sister  who  suffered  through  the  severity  of 


54  MY    EXPERIENCE    IX    PATERSON. 

# 

Sister  Mary  Joseph  ;  for  she  seemed  to  take  delight  in  inflicting 
punishment  on  her  helpless  subjects.  If  the  orphans  did  wrong, 
or  destroyed  by  accident  anything  belonging  to  the  house,  I  was 
held  responsible,  and  made  to  suffer  accordingly. 

It  frequently  occurred  on  the  Sabbath  that  Sister  Mary 
Joseph  would  tell  me  to  array  the  orphans  in  their  green  uni- 
form for  church,  and  just  as  they  were  ready,  she  would  enter 
the  class-room,  come  toward  me  and  violently  strike  or  push 
me,  demanding  to  know  why  I  did  not  "  dress  them  in  their 
red  uniform."  I  would  reply,  because  she  had  told  me  the 
green.  She  would  then  give  vent  to  such  invectives  as  "  you 
lying,  lazy  creature,  change  the  green  for  the  red  in  five  min- 
utes, or  I'll  break  every  bone  in  your  body,"  etc.  The  poor 
children  were  obliged  to  change  their  clothes  in  about  five  min- 
utes to  be  in  time  for  church,  causing  the  greatest  confusion 
among  themselves,  and  leaving  everything  in  the  wildest  dis- 
order, and  so  keeping  me  busy  until  noon  in  restoring  things  to 
their  proper  order. 

It  was  unusual  to  hear  Sister  Mary  Joseph  speak  civilly  to 
the  sisters,  but  what  a  transformation  was  there  in  her  manner 
and  countenance  when  she  received  and  conversed  with  her 
admiring  guests  in  the  parlor !  She  appeared  then  all  smiles 
and  amiability.  To  the  world,  she  was  a  Saint,  a  sweet,  "  holy 
sister."  Behind  the  scenes,  she  was  a  demon,  a  fierce,  arbitrary 
Wirago.  I  will  lift  the  curtain  which  hides  her  from  the  world 
a  little  higher. 

I  was  one  day  obliged  to  consult  her  on  a  matter  of  obedience 
relative  to  the   orphans.     Fearing  lest  I  should  forget  it,  and 


MY    EXPERIENCE    IN    PATERSON.  55 

incur  the  penalty  of  a  severe  penance,  I  left  my  class  in  the 
school  and  hastened  to  the  community-room,  where  I  expected 
to  find  her  at  her  post  of  duty,  but  she  was  not  there.  I 
noiselessly  went  to  her  bed-room,  and  cautiously  opened  the 
door  fearing  to  disturb  her  if  she  should  be  asleep  or  indisposed. 
She  was  not  asleep,  but  entertaining  a  Reverend  Father  whose 
name  I  will  not  give,  because  he  is  now  dead,  and  I  have 
chiefly  to  treat  with  the  living  who  can  defend  themselves  if  I 
wrong  them — in  a  manner  very  little  in  accordance  with  con- 
vent rules,  or  the  idea  of  a  young  girl  who  judged  all  things 
charitably  and  thought  evil  of  none.  She  was  enraged  at  my 
intrusion,  and  violently  pushed  me  through  the  hall  and  down 
the  stairs.  The  fall  was  so  severe  that  I  walked  lame  for  over 
one  week.  She  was  afraid  I  might  report  her  conduct  to  the 
other  sisters ;  therefore  in  the  evening  she  called  me  to  her 
room,  apologized  a  little  for  throwing  me  down  stairs,  and 
begged  of  me  not  to  mention  to  any  one  the  adventure  of 
the  afternoon.  With  her  accustomed  plausibility  she  put  a 
construction  of  innocence  on  her  conduct,  which  I  received  with 
unquestioning  simplicity.  Her  excuse  was  that  Father  D.  was 
suddenly  taken  very  ill  while  calling  on  business,  and  that  she 
insisted  upon  his  resting  on  her  bed,  where  she  could  more 
readily  minister  unto  him.  I  have  given  a  simple  fact,  let  the 
mind  draw  its  own  inference. 

I  do  not  accuse  all  the  sisters  of  the  community  of  being  im- 
moral ;  no,  there  are  many  pining  souls,  who,  like  myself,  in  all 
sincerity  labor  to  become  Saints,  with  the  strange  fervor  which 
the  Catholic  Church  teaches.     What  language  can  possibly  de- 


56  MY  EXPERIENCE  IN  PATERSON. 

pict  the  pitiable  condition  of  those  poor  deluded  ones  who  are 
the  victims  of  error  so  dark,  and  doctrines  so  fatal  and  ruinous  ? 
Poor  creatures,  is  there  no  remedy  ?  None  :  unless  the  power 
of  God  burst  their  bonds  and  set  them  free.  From  the  depth 
of  my  heart  I  thank  God  that  He  has  set  me  free  at  last ;  free 
from  delusion  and  superstition ;  free  from  priestcraft  and  tyran- 
nical superiors  ;  free  from  convent  rules  and  regulations ;  free 
from  its  prison  walls,  and  unholy  discipline.  But  it  required 
the  deep  cuts  of  the  chisel,  and  the  hard  and  heavy  strokes  of 
the  hamn*er  to  sever  the  chains  of  my  captivity. 


CHAPTER   IX. 

SOME  ADDITIONAL  EXAMPLES    OF  CRUELTY  TO  THE  ORPHANS. 

An  orphan's  fate  is  most  desolate  under  any  circumstances, 
but  how  much  more  so  is  it,  if  these  poor  waifs  are  cast  entirely 
among  strangers,  and  especially  among  those  women  whose 
hearts  never  throbbed  with  maternal  love  and  joy,  and  where 
the  unrelieved  monotony  and  sterile  dreariness  of  their  unnat- 
ural mode  of  living  have  smothered  every  vestige  of  tender- 
ness and  compassion,  and  whose  rule  and  vows  oblige  them  to 
crush  out  of  their  natures  every  human  tie,  every  womanly 
impulse,  every  maternal  instinct.  What  is  the  fate  of  orphans 
entrusted  to  the  care  of  such  beings  ?  Let  the  following  state- 
ment of  facts  determine  : 

In  the  month  of  March,  1863,  in  company  with  Sister  Mary 

Joseph  I  attended  the  dying  bed  of  a  poor  woman  named  Mrs. 

Stanton.     Her  husband  had  been  killed  on  the  battle  field,  and 

she  was  compelled  to  go  out  washing  to   support  herself  and 

child.     Finally  her  health  failed,  and  she  was  dying.     Troubled 

about  the  fate  of  her  dear  child,   she  sent  for  the  Sisters  of 

Charity,  and  with  her  dying  breath  commended  her  little  one 

to  the  mercy  and  care  of  Sister  Mary  Joseph,  entreating  her 

(57) 


58  ADDITIONAL    EXAMPLES    OF    CRUELTY. 

to  be  a  mother  to  the  orphan,  for  the  sake  of  Him  who  saith, 
'•'Inasmuch  as  you  have  done  these  things  to  the  least  of  my 
brethren,  so  also  have  ye  done  them  unto  me.*'  Annie  Stan- 
ton, the  name  of  this  little  one,  was  scarcely  three  years  of  age 
and  was  a  most  lovely  and  interesting  child.  Young  as  she 
\vas;she  grieved  for  her  mother,  and  it  was  truly  heartrending 
to  hear  her  piteous  cries  of  "  Oh,  take  me  to  my  mother !  I 
want  my  mother !  I  want  my  mother !  O  my  mother,  my 
mother  3"  Ah,  poor  child  !  your  mother  has  gone,  and  no  one 
on  earth  can  ever  fill  her  place,  no  matter  how  kind  they  may 
be — nothing  can  ever  supply  a  mother's  love  and  care. 

It  is  impossible  for  me  to  analyze,  much  less  describe,  the 
emotions  of  my  heart,  when  Sister  Mary  Joseph  handed  this 
newly  made  orphan  over  to  my  charge  to  share  the  same  fate 
as  the  rest.  I  trembled  to  admit  that  it  was  not  in  my  power 
to  shield  this  darling  child  from  suffering,  of  which  the  length 
and  depth  can  scarcely  be  comprehended.  Alas  !  the  unhappy 
child  must  soon,  like  myself,  discover  the  hard  truth,  that  mother 
and  home  were  gone,  gone  forever.  However,  I  resolved  to 
alleviate  the  hardships  of  this  child  as  much  as  I  possibly  could. 
Annie  would  go  at  the  appointed  time  to  the  refectory  only  to 
leave  it  with  her  coarse  food  untouched.  I  often  unobserved 
shared  my  own  meals  with  her,  but  the  spy  De  Sales  was  ever 
on  the  alert,  and  soon  made  known  to  Sister  M.  Joseph  my 
"  partiality  " — as  she  termed  it ;  consequently  I  was  made  to 
fast  on  bread  and  water  for  one  week  as  a  penance.  Neverthe^ 
less  I  would  on  every  available  occasion  pilfer  from  the  Sisters' 


ADDITIONAL    EXAMPLES    OF    CRUELTY.  59 

table  and  give  palatable  food  to  the  weak  and  delicate  among 
the  orphans.     I  was  often  severely  penanced  for  it. 

Every  night  before  I  retired,  custom  demanded  that  I  should 
arouse  the  younger  of  the  orphans  and  see  them  to  the  water 
closet.  Some  of  the  little  ones  were  not  easily  awakened, 
therefore  I  would  take  them  in  my  arms  and  carry  them,  con- 
trary to  the  rules  which  forbade  sisters  to  touch  them  except 
to  inflict  correction.  One  cold  night  I  was  caught  by  De  Sales 
in  the  awful  act  of  carrying  Annie  Stanton,  whereupon  I  was 
of  course  reported,  and  Sister  Ann  Joseph  was  sent  to  watch  me, 
and  give  me  instructions  in  regard  to  the  manner  in  which  I 
should  treat  the  orphans.  The  following  night  Annie  Stanton 
cried  at  the  unusual  manner  in  which  she  was  awakened. 
Sister  Ann  Joseph  dragged  her  from  the  bed,  and  ordered  her 
to  walk  on  the  cold  floor.  The  child,  half  asleep,  refused,  and 
began  to  call  her  mother.  Touched  by  this  appeal  I  went 
toward  the  child  in  order  to  coax  her.  Sister  Ann  Joseph 
pushed  me  back,  took  off  her  hard  leather  shoe  and  began  to 
beat  her  on  the  delicate  flesh,  which  rose  in  black  and  blue 
ridges  at  every  cruel  blow.  I  could  not  endure  this,  but  pulled 
sister  away,  asking  her  if  she  meant  to  kill  the  child.  My  in- 
terference enraged  her ;  she  sent  another  child  for  the  leather 
strap,  placed  the  little  naked  body  across  the  bed,  and  beat  that 
child  till  the  blood  came.  The  shrieks  and  screams  of  her 
victim  infuriated  this  woman,  who  then  seemed  the  personifica- 
tion of  a  fiend,  to  such  an  extent  that  in  order  to  smother  her 
cries,  she  dragged  the  little  one  to  the  bath  room,  placed  her 
in  the  tub  and  turned  a  shower  of  ice  water  upon  her,  keeping 


$0  ADDITIONAL    EXAMPLES    OF    CRUELTY. 

her  under  it  until  she  became  so  chilled  that  her  body  stiffened 
out  as  if  dead.  As  a  very  natural  result  of  such  barbarity,  a 
violent  fever  ensued  which  nearly  resulted  in  death.  Never 
can  I  forget  the  cries  of  that  suffering  child,  as  she  pleaded  for 
mercy  from  that  heartless  woman,  a  woman  too,  bearing  the 
name  of  a  "  Sister  of  Charity,"  and  "  Mother  "  to  the  mother- 
less little  ones  under  her  care. 

On  another  occasion  sister  Gonzaga  took  Mary  Carrigan,  a 
girl  nine  years  of  age,  for  the  trifling  offense  of  picking  some 
gooseberries  from  the  Sisters'  garden,  and  shut  her  up  in  a  dark 
closet  in  the  cellar  infested  with  rats  and  mice,  from  eight 
o'clock  in  the  morning  until  five  in  the  evening,  and  when  this 
sister  of  Charity  went  to  release  her  little  victim,  she  found  her 
in  an  idiotic  condition,  clinging  to  the  wall ;  this  brutal  punish- 
ment had  resulted  in  transforming  that  once  bright  and  intelli- 
gent child  into  an  idiot! 

In  the  fall  of  1864,  for  some  slight  offense  Sister  Mary  Joseph 
beat  Mary  Gray  with  so  much  severity  as  to  cover  her  naked 
body  writh  black  and  blue  stripes.  This  poor  child,  made  des- 
perate by  repeated  ill  usage,  ran  away  from  the  Asylum ;  was 
picked  up  in  the  streets  and  taken  to  the  poor  house,  where  she 
/vas  discovered,  and  brought  back  to  the  convent. 

Sister  Ann  Joseph  beat  so  unmercifully  a  child  about  eleven 
fears  of  age  named  Jennie  Carney,  that  she  also  ran  away 
bearing  on  her  body  the  marks  of  cruelty.  Lizzie  Madden, 
twelve  years  of  age,  ran  away  twice,  on  account  of  ill  treat- 
ment, and  when  she  was  captured  and  brought  back  the  second 
time,  Sister  Mary  Joseph  tied  her  to  a  post  with  a  rope,  and 


ADDITIONAL    EXAMPLES    OF    CRUELTY.  61 

scourged  her  most  inhumanly.  Kitty  Rooney,  a  sweet  little 
child  of  five  years, was  obliged  to  be  kept  out  of  sight  for  two 
weeks,  on  account  of  the  way  her  face  was  disfigured,  by  the 
beating  and  kicking  she  received  from  Sister  Gonzaga. 

I  could  relate  many  other  instances  of  the  sisters'  unkindness 
to  the  children   in   the   asylum,   but  I   will   merely  direct  the 
readers  attention  to  one  more.     Mrs.    Berry,  a  poor  widow, 
placed    her    two   children    in   the  asylum    sometime  in    18G3. 
These   children   were  named    Sarah    Ann   and  Mary    Berry. 
Sarah  Ann,  the  youngest,  was  about  three  years  old.     Sister 
Ann  Joseph  was   infirmarian  to  the  orphans,  and  she  formed  a 
marked  dislike  for  this  child,  and  in  every  possible  way  caused 
her  to  suffer.     One  day  in  Juanuary,  18G4,  Sister  Ann  Joseph 
ordered  Sarah  Ann  away  from  her  scanty  breakfast  to  the  in- 
firmary in  order  to  give  her  some  medicine.     This  was  a  mat- 
ter of  surprise  to  me,  as  I  knew  of  nothing  ailing  Sarah  Ann 
that  morning ;  moreover   she   was   a  very  healthy  child,  never 
having  been  ill  while   in   the  Asylum.     In.  about  ten  minutes 
after  Sarah  Ann  left  the  refectory,   and  while  I  was   at  my 
breakfast,  Emma  Scanlon  came  running  for  me  in  breathless 
agitation,  calling  "  O  Sister,  Sister !  come  quickly,  Sarah  Ann 
Berry  is  dying."     I  hastened  to  the  class  room  where  I  found 
the  child  writhing  on  the  floor  in  mortal  agony.     On  taking  her 
up  she  immediately  expired  in  my  arms.     Fifteen  minutes  had 
scarcely  elapsed  after  she  left  the   refectory  in  the  glow  of 
health,  ere  she  was  a  lifeless  corpse,  her  sudden  death  spread- 
ing terror  to  the  hearts  of  us  all.     I  sent  for  Sister  Ann  Jo- 
seph who  came  into  the  class-room  extremely  pale  and  agitated. 


62  ADDITIONAL    EXAMPLES    OF    CRUELTY. 

I  said,  "  Sister,  what  medicine  have  you  given  this  child  ?  See, 
she  is  dead."  She  authoritatively  replied,  u  I  gave  her  salts, 
what's  that  to  you  ?  I  believe  I  have  charge  of  the  infirmary  !" 
"Yes,  sister,  but  are  you  sure  it  was  salts  you  gave  her?" 
Looking  her  steadily  in  the  eye,  for  I  felt  a  strong  conviction 
that  all  was  not  right,  as  her  past  repeated  unkindness  to  the 
little  dead  child  rose  up  before  me. 

In  a  sharp  angry  tone  she  replied,  "the  child  died  of  the 
heart  disease,  and  it  is  none  of  your  business  what  I  gave  her," 
slamming  the  door  violently  as  she  went  out.  I  had  the  pain- 
ful task  of  laying  out  the  little  corpse  in  its  pine  coffin,  and  it 
was  conveyed  away  in  six  hours  after  death,  by  the  undertaker, 
to  a  pauper's  grave  in  the  cold  earth. 

No  physician  was  called  in ;  no  investigation  made,  nor  the 
slightest  inquiries  permitted  to  be  circulated  in  regard  to  the 
sudden  and  mysterious  death  of  this  poor  child.  Even  her 
mother  would  not  be  permitted  to  see  her  until  she  threatened 
to  report  Father  McNulty,  and  get  her  child  disinterred,  un- 
less he  would  give  her  a  permit  to  look  again  upon  the  face  of 
her  dear  child,  before  the  grave  would  hide  her  away  forever 
from  the  earthly  vision. 

I  have  given  plain  and  true  facts  with  regard  to  the  treat- 
ment of  orphans  in  St.  Joseph's  Asylum  in  Paterson,  facts 
which  would  never  reach  the  public,  if  I  had  not  renounced 
Romanism. 

Orphans  cannot  complain  to  their  friends,  because  they  can- 
not see  them  alone  ;  a  sister  is  always  within  hearing.  A  day 
is  set  apart  every  month  for  visitors  to  see  orphans,  and  on  that 


ADDITIONAL    EXAMPLES    OF    CRUELTY.  63 

day  they  are  arrayed  in  a  neat  looking  uniform,  drilled  and 
warned  in  regard  to  their  every  word,  look,  and  manner,  and 
if  they  trespass  these  injunctions,  they  know  the  punishment 
which  awaits  them.  Orphans  are  forbidden  any  communica- 
tion with  the  parish  children ;  they  are  completely  walled  in 
with  their  plaints  and  pleas  from  the  ears  of  a  bamboozled 
humanity;  and  whoever  dare  to  make  known  those  grievances 
to  the  public,  let  them  be  anathema,  is  the  voice  of  the  Church 
of  Rome. 

I  have  dared  to  make  known  many  things  regardless  of  the 
curses  which  Rome  may  heap  upon  me,  or  the  violence  she  may 
use  against  me;  and  in  the  statements  I  have  made  in  this 
chapter  relative  to  the  orphans,  some  of  the  parties  have  boldly 
corroborated  them,  as  the  following  digression  will  show. 

Having  mentioned  in  some  of  my  public  lectures  examples 
of  cruelty  to  orphans,  Dr.  John  Quinn,  the  Catholic  Physician 
of  the  Asylum  in  Paterson,  entered  into  a  controversy  with  me 
in  the  papers,  endeavoring  by.  falsehoods  to  blindfold  the  public. 
He  says,  "  1  myself  attended  the  child  Sarah  Ann  Berry  for 
heart  disease  before  she  entered  the  Asylum,  and  I  told  her 
mother  she  would  not  live  long."  I  gave  a  lecture  in  Paterson, 
April  22d,  1870,  confronting  Quinn  with  the  facts.  Mrs.  Berry, 
the  mother  of  the  child,  was  in  my  audience.  After  the  lec- 
ture she  came  forward  before  several  witnesses,  among  them 
Rev.  G.  Winans,  Rev.  M.  Dally,  Messrs.  Turner  and  Williams, 
besides  a  large  number  of  ladies  and  gentlemen,  and  embraced 
me,  tearfully  thanking  me  for  the  kinduess  I  had  shown  her 
children.     She  then  and  there  testified  that  every  word  I  had 


64  ADDITIONAL    EXAMPLES    OP    CRUELTY. 

said  about  the  treatment  of  her  children  was  true,  and  stated  that 
neither  Dr.  Quinn,  nor  any  other  Doctor  ever  tended  her  child 
for  heart  disease  or  any  other  disease,  and  that  she  never  spoke 
to  Quinn  in  her  life.  She  gave  further  testimony  of  the  cruel 
treatment  her  other  child  Mary  received  from  the  sisters,  and 
when  she  took  her  away  from  the  asylum,  the  sisters  retained 
the  good  clothes  her  child  had  brought  to  the  asylum,  and  "sent 
her  out  of  it  clothed  in  scarcely  rags  enough  to  cover  her." 
Jennie  Carney,  one  of  the  orphans  whom  I  mentioned  as  hav- 
ing run  away  from  the  asylum  on  account  of  ill  treatment,  was 
also  in  my  audience.  She  too  came  forward,  being  then  a 
young  girl  of  seventeen  years,  and  with  great  affection  greeted 
me.  She  publicly  testified  to  the  truth  of  my  statements  about 
the  orphans. 

Thus  it  is  that  truth  will  and  must  prevail.     Dr.  Quinn  was 
ignomoniously  defeated,  even  by  Catholics,  and  I  was  vindicated. 


CHAPTER    X. 

THE    CONVENT    SCHOOL    SYSTEM. 

The  unkindness  of  Sisters  of  Charity  to  children  extends 
farther  than  the  orphans,  as  the  children  of  parochial  schools 
can  testify.  "When  a  child  fails  in  recitation  or  conduct,  the 
rod  is  called  into  requisition,  and  the  hands  and  bodies  of  those 
little  ones  often  carry  to  their  parents  marks  of  the  sisters'  cruel 
correction.  Another  mode  of  punishment  is  to  keep  delinquents 
confined  to  the  class-room  from  nine  o'clock  in  the  morning 
until  six  in  the  evening  without  dinner  or  a  moment's  recrea- 
tion ;  yet  the  poor  parents  stand  in  such  awe  of  the  sisters  that 
they  dare  not  complain  for  fear  of  incurring  the  displeasure  of 
priests,  who  threaten  with  excommunication  all  parents  who 
withdraw  their  children  from  the  parish  school  and  send  them  to 
public  schools.  This,  however,  those  Catholic  sometimes  do 
who  prefer  their  children's  advancement  to  the  priest's  absolu- 
tion. 

The  parochial  schools  are  poorly  regulated,  and  more  time 
is  spent  in  handling  "  beads  "  and  saying  "  Hail  Mary  "  than 
in  the  regular  instruction  of  the  children.  Again,  these  parish 
schools  are   entirely  under  the   supervision  of  the   priests  who 


6G  THE    CONVENT    SCHOOL    SYSTEM. 

engage  the  sisters  to  teach,  and  from  the  contributions  of  the 
parish  pay  to  the  Reverend  Mother,  for  each  sister's  service, 
the  salary  of  four  hundred  dollars  per  annum.  It  is  impossible 
for  the  children  to  advance  rapidly  in  these  schools,  because 
they  are  not  properly  instructed.  It  often  happens  that  one 
sister  may  have  from  one  hundred  and  eighty  to  two  hundred 
children  to  teach,  and  sisters  are  sent  to  teach  who  are  ignor- 
ant themselves.  Sister  de  Sales'  class  of  orphans  was  one  year 
learning  how  to  spell  words  of  one  syllable.  The  priests  spend 
a  great  deal  of  their  time  in  the  parochial  schools,  making  love 
to  the  pretty  young  sisters,  while  the  rest  of  their  time  is  spent 
in  mumbling  Latin  offices,  drinking  wine,  or  "  whisky  punch," 
and  making  merry  on  the  "  fat  of  the  land." 

Note.  In   treating  of  cruelty  to  children,  or  the  sis- 

ters'  incompetency  to   teach,  I   do   not  allude   to  a  boarding 
school   institution,  or  to  the  Academy  in   Madison,  or  to  any 
select  pay-school  taught  by  Sisters  of  Charity.     The  sisters  do 
not  so  far  forget  themselves,  or  their  church  policy,  as   to  im- 
pose  cruelties  on   those  children  whose  parents   pay  a  tuition 
fee  of  from  two  hundred  and  fifty  to  three  hundred  dollars  per 
annum.     I  will  here  state  that   there   can   be  no  greater  kind- 
ness shown  to  pupils  than  is  bestowed  on  the  children  of  wealthy 
parents,  and  especially  those  of  Protestant  parentage  who  are 
open  to  conviction  in  the  way  of  Catholic  dogmas.     Such  pupils 
are  taught  well,  but  not  in  solid  branches  of  science  or  history. 
They  appear  to  aim  to  give  a  superficial   show  of  accomplish- 
ments, according  to   the   capacity  of  each  pupil,  in   order  that 
parents  may  be  satisfied ;  at  the  same  time  every  exertion  is 


THE    CONVENT    SCHOOL    SYSTEM.  G< 

made  to  win  the  affections  and  secure  the  confidence  of  those 
pupils  so  that  their  young  minds  may  be  impressed  with  the 
alluring  doctrines  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Church. 

Seldom  do  these  attempts  fail  in  creating  at  least  a  strong 
fascination  toward  the  showy  and  theatrical  forms  and  cere- 
monies, which  generally  possess  a  peculiar  charm  for  children. 
And  yet  Protestant  parents  send  their  children  to  be  educated 
in  distant  convents,  deluding  themselves  with  the  silly  idea  that 
no  attempt  will  be  made  to  indoctrinate  their  young  minds  with 
Romish  errors.  Are  such  parents  not  aware  that  the  Catholic 
religion  is  one  of  exclusive  pretensions,  accounting  all  those 
outside  its  pale  as  doomed  to  eternal  damnation ;  and  that  sis- 
ters are  especially  bound  to  use  every  effort  for  the  conversion 
of  "  heretics  ?"  If  Protestants  are  ignorant  of  this,  it  is  the  re- 
sult of  indifference,  and  it  is  a  moet  serious  fault  in  them  to  be 
so  thoughtless  as  to  send  their  daughters  to  Roman  Catholic 
Convents  to  be  educated.  Is  it  not  a  contradiction  in  itself, 
this  protesting  against  a  creed  and  espousing  it  in  their  chil- 
dren ?  If  Protestant  parents  consider  it  necessary  to  send  their 
children  away  from  home  to  be  educated,  are  there  not  hundreds 
of  Protestant  schools  where  every  branch  of  knowledge  is 
taught  by  intelligent  and  experienced  teachers  ?  Why  then 
support  Catholic  schools  in  preference  to  their  own  institutions  ? 
That  the  Romish  seminaries  of  learning  are  liberally  encouraged 
and  supported  by  many  of  the  Protestant  community  is  a  fact 
which  cannot  be  denied.  And  do  Roman  Catholics  support 
Protestant  institutions,  either  literary  or  religious  ?  If  they 
Have  ever  given   a  single  cent  to  found  or  build  up  institutions 


68  THE    CONVENT    SCHOOL    SYSTEM. 

which  are  Protestant — which  they  maliciously  denounce  as 
"  heretic " — is  something  altogether  unknown  to  me.  Yet 
Protestants,  kind  souls,  lend  Romanists  a  strong  arm  to  build 
up  and  support  their  peculiar  institutions.  "  Heretics  "  coun- 
tenance and  support  liberally  the  institution  in  Madison ;  and  a 
large  number  of  Protestant  young  ladies  from  different  parts 
of  the  Union  have  attended  it,  from  its  first  foundation  in  1859, 

I  have  been  brought  to  see  the  unwholsome  influence  that  is 
exerted  over  Protestant  young  ladies  who  receive  their  educa- 
tion in  that  institution.  Prodigious  efforts  are  made  to  impress 
popish  doctrines  upon  their  tender  and  susceptible  minds ;  and 
I  can  safely  say  there  is  not  one  out  of  ten  who  leaves  that  in- 
stitution  whose  mind  is  not  filled  with  the  religious  tenets  of 
the  Church  of  Rome.  I  am  acquainted  with  several  young" 
ladies  educated  at  St.  Elizabeth's,  and  with  few  exceptions  they 
all  felt  more  or  less  inclined  to  embrace  Catholicism.  The 
sisters  are  seemingly  very  mild,  amiable,  and  pleasing  in. 
their  dispositions  to  Protestant  pupils — engaging  and  winning  in 
all  they  say  and  do — and  are  possessed  of  all  the  charms  and 
machinations  necessary  to  initiate  themselves  into  their  good 
graces,  and  to  gain  them  over  finally  to  popery. 

The  sisters  will  blandly  tell  Protestant  parents  that  they 
will  make  no  effort  to  instil  the  Catholic  religion  in  the  minds 
of  their  children,  and  that  they  will  be  perfectly  free  to  prac- 
tice the  precepts  of  their  own  religion.  Certainly  they  do  not 
compel  scholars  to  study  the  Catholic  Catechism,  or  expound 
the  "  Christian  Doctrine,"  yet  the  latter  must  be  present  at 
those  exercises  and  listen  attentively  to  the  Catholic  interpre- 


THE    CONVENT    SCHOOL    SYSTEM.  69 

tation.  They  must  also  be  present  at  every  Catholic  devotion 
in  the  chapel,  which  is  hung  with  pictures,  and  decorated  with 
everything  pleasing  to  the  eye  and  charming  to  the  senses. 

Protestants,  look  at  this.  In  Convent  schools  your  children 
are  denied  the  blessed  privilege  of  hearing  the  Bible  read,  or 
even  of  reading  their  pocket  Bibles  which  were  given  them 
when  they  left  your  homes.  This  question  of  education  is  the 
question  agitating  the  public  mind  of  to-day  in  the  Catholic 
effort  to  deprive  the  public  schools  of  the  Bible.  Will  Prot- 
estant parents  still  continue  the  Convent  education  of  their 
children  ?  Will  they  so  thoughtlessly  and  unwisely  hazard  the 
spiritual  welfare  of  their  precious  children  in  this  way  ?  These 
facts  speak  for  themselves.  I  need  not  make  any  reflections  on 
them,  but  I  do  make  an  earnest  appeal  to  Protestants  to  stand 
by  themselves  and  their  principles,  and  entirely  do  away  with 
the  Catholic  education  of  their  daughters.  To  subject  that 
system  to  a  just  and  severe  investigation,  I,  as  an  ex-nun,  can 
assure  them,  is  an  impossibility. 


CHAPTER    XI. 

MY    SISTER    VISITS    ME    IN   PATERSON. 

Fifteen  long,  weary  months  had  passed,  since  I  entered  the 
Convent,  and  during  that  time  I  had  not  heard  from  home  or 
friends.  I  had  written  to  my  j^arents  twice,  but  every  letter 
sent,  or  received,  being  subject  to  the  inspection  of  the  supe- 
riors, I  never  knew  whether  my  letters  had  been  sent  from 
the  Convent ;  and  as  I  had  net  received  any,  I  had  given  up 
all  hopes  of  ever  hearing  from  my  home.  Although  I  had  of- 
fered this  trial  as  a  sacrifice  to  God,  still  my  heart  yearned  to 
hear  from  that  dear  mother  who  had  so  tenderly  watched  over 
me  in  the  past,  and  from  whom  my  insane  folly  had  rendered 
it  forever  impossible   to   receive  comfort    again.  Oh, 

how  often  my  soul  struggled  against  the  temptation  of  despair 
and  remorse,  at  the  step  I  had  taken,  and  from  which  there 
must  be  no  looking  back  !  I  had  no  one  but  myself  to  blame ; 
my  own  hand  had  clasped  the  chain  which  I  then  thought  noth- 
ing but  death  could  unclasp.  Oh,  the  nights  of  conflict  and 
anguish  followed  by  days  of  outward  calmness  and  apparent 
conformity,  the  dissimulation  of  which  was  again  the  subject 
of  remorse  !     Oh,  how  keenly  I  suffered  the  penalty  of  my  in- 

(70) 


MY   SISTER    VISITS    ME    IN   PATERSON.  71 

fatimtion !  Encircled  as  I  had  been  with  the  mercies  of  a 
bountiful  God,  I  had  cast  them  all  from  me  to  follow  a  path 
which  He.  never  marked  out  for  any  of  His  creatures. 

Inexperienced,  simple-minded,  and  enthusiastic,  I  had  fallen 
an  easy  prey  to  the  sophistries  of  my  spiritual  guide,  to  whom 
I  entrusted  implicitly  every  sacred  feeling  and  aspiration  of  my 
young  heart,  and  who  so  skilfully  tampered  with  the  ardent  im- 
pressions and  fervent  elements  of  my  nature  as  to  cause  them 
to  assume  the  unnatural  proportions  of  religious  fanaticism. 
Oh,  the  pernicious  influence  of  Confession,  that  terrible  arm  of 
priestcraft !  that  diabolical  device  for  seduction !  that  subtle 
means  of  piercing  the  most  sacred  secrets,  and  keeping  in 
chains  the  weaker  sex !  Extreme  conscientiousness  had  always 
been  my  characteristic.  It  had  been  the  moving  principle  of 
my  entrance  on  conventual  life.  Sincerely  anxious  to  save 
my  soul,  and  infatuated  by  the  belief  that  I  could  not  do  it  in 
the  outer  world,  I  had  placed  myself  on  the  altar  of  self-immo- 
lation— self-atonement.  Being  possessed  of  more  than  a  com- 
mon degree  of  fervor,  nothing  in  the  shape  of  self-denial  had 
daunted  me,  nay,  it  had  rather  subtly  fed  my  spiritual  pride. 
Self-glorified  by  the  great  sacrifices  I  had  made  of  my  home, 
my  friends,  and  my  relations,  for  the  sake  of  self-satisfaction, 
I  felt  that  I  must  finish  the  work  I  had  begun,  and  endeavor  to 
forget  them ;  that  being  entirely  disengaged  from  all  earthly 
things  I  might  think  of  nothing  else  but  my  soul's  salvation.  And 
at  that  time  I  was  deluded  with  the  thought  that  the  greater  sac- 
rifice I  made  the  more  it  pleased  and  glorified  God.  Despite 
the  effort  to  forget  the  things  that  were  behind,  long  buried 

4 


72  MY    SISTER    VISITS    ME    IN    PATEKSON. 

memories  would  awake  as  if  in  mockery  of  the  robe  of  stoicism 
in  which  I  was  seeking  to  envelop  myself,  and  in  defiance  of 
the  barriers  which  events  had  been  erecting  about  me.  The 
convulsive  sobs  and  deep  drawn  sighs  which  these  memories 
prompted  declared  me  to  be  clothed  still  in  all  the  panoply  of 
human  weakness,  of  human  love,  and  of  human  desires  ;  earthly 
affections  only  slumbered  to  be  awakened  into  new  life  on  the 
slightest  occasion. 

It  was  the  feast  of  the  Epiphany,  January,  1864.  Sister 
Mary  Joseph  met  me  in  the  hall,  and  in  a  sharp  tone  ordered 
me  to  go  to  the  parlor  and  stay  just  ten  minutes.  These  were 
the  only  words  she  condescended  to  address  to  me,  and  I,  think- 
ing some  lady  of  the  parish  wished  to  see  me  in  regard  to  her 
children,  and  that  I  was  restricted  to  a  ten  minutes  interview 
as  a  trial  of  obedience,  proceeded  to  the  parlor.  But  oh,  how 
can  I  picture  my  surprise  to  meet  there  my  oldest  sister,  Ger- 
trude !  In  my  joy,  forgetting  every  restraint,  every  obligation 
of  rule  which  forbids  the  sisters  to  make  any  demonstration  of 
affection  on  meeting  their  relatives,  I  threw  my  arms  around 
her  neck  and  kisse*d  her  fondly,  holding  her  for  several  moments 
to  my  throbbing  heart.  I  was  entirely  overcome  by  this  sud- 
den and  unexpected  meeting  of  a  sister  dearly  loved.  Before 
I  could  control  my  feelings  sufficiently  to  inquire  about  home 
the  ten  minutes  had  expired.  I  could  not  endure  the  thought 
of  parting  with  my  sister  so  soon,  therefore  I  hastened  to  sister 
Mary  Joseph,  and  on  my  knees  begged  her  to  grant  me  a  little 
extension  of  the  time  in  which  to  see  my  sister.  She  refused 
to  grant  me   a  single  minute  more.     I  then  asked  her  if  she 


MY   SISTER   VISITS    ME    IN   PATERSON.  73 

would  not,  at  least,  send  some  refreshment  to  her,  as  she  was 
very  weary  after  her  long  journey  from  Rhode  Island,  and  be- 
sides she  had  had  considerable  difficulty  in  finding  me,  having 
gone  first  to  Madison.  This  little  act  of  Christian  charity  she 
refused  on  the  plea  that  she  could  go  conveniently  to  a  restau- 
rant, as  there  were  plenty  of  such  places  in  the  city.  She 
sharply  told  me  I  ought  to  be  very  grateful  for  the  favor  of 
seeing  my  sister  at  all,  and  that  she  would  not  have  granted  it 
if  she  could  have  denied  my  "  proud  sister,"  who  steadfastly 
refused  to  go  away  without  seeing  me.  '  Language  is  powerless 
to  describe  the  overwhelming  grief  I  felt  in  being  forced  to 
turn  away  that  sister  without  another  word,  even  without  a 
caress.  Oh  God,  what  a  trial !  Fifteen  months  without  a 
word  from  those  I  so  dearly  loved — without  seeing  one  dear 
familiar  face !  and  then  at  last,  when  a  sister  comes  to  see  me, 
sent  by  dear  parents  who  w,ere  anxious  to  know  my  fate,  I, 
after"  all  her  long  journey  to  a  strange  place,  am  obliged  to  send 
her  away,  powerless  to  offer  her  even  the  least  act  of  courtesy 
or  kindness ; — to  send  her  away  without  having  the  time  to 
communicate  a  single  message  of  love  for  my  darling  mother, 
or  even  inquire  about  her,  while  my  poor  heart  had  so  many 
questions  to  ask  about  home,  and  how  each  had  borne  my  ab- 
sence from  them.  My  sister,  who  was  very  unfavorably  im- 
pressed by  the  unkindness  of  Sister  Mary  Joseph,  asked  me  if 
I  was  happy  among  such  vulgar  companions.  With  convent 
dissimulation  I  was  forced  to  reply  in  the  affirmative,  for,  was 
not  a  sister  in  the  hall  listening  to  every  word  we  uttered  ? 
With  a  heavy  heart  I  closed  the  door  on  that  sister,  and,  unable  • 


74  MY    SISTER    VISITS    ME    IN    PATERSON. 

to  longer  restrain  my  deep  emotion,  hastened  to  the  chapel  to 
offer  my  bleeding  heart  anew  on  the  altar  of  sacrifice.  The 
short  visit  of  Gertrude  recalled  all  the  anguish  of  my  separa- 
tion from  home,  and  the  strangely  cruel  manner  of  her  recep- 
tion at  the  Convent  added  more  keenly  to  my  sorrow.  Oh,  how 
my  nature  rebelled  against  this  system,  which,  without  any 
cause,  took  delight  in  inflicting  pain  !  Where  could  my  strug- 
gling, trembling  soul  find  shelter  ?  Not  in  God,  for  I  had  no 
light  to  seek  Him  alone ;  but  after  a  severe  conflict  I  at  last 
seemed  to  find  a  temporary  shelter  under  the  subtile  charms  of 
spiritual  pride. 


CHAPTER    XII. 

MY   PROFESSION,   AND   MISSION    TO    HUDSON    CITY. 

My  novitiate  lasted  one  year  and  five  months,  seven  months 
less  than  was  usually  required  on  account  of  the  perfect  docility 
I  had  shown  to  arbitrary  superiors,  and  my  resignation  to  the 
many  severe  trials  imposed  upon  me.  On  the  16th  of  July, 
1864,  I  was  summoned  to  the  Mother-house,  in  Madison,  to 
take  the  irrevocable  vows  of  poverty,  chastity,  and  obedience. 
I  entered  on  a  retreat  of  eight  days,  and  in  silence  and  retire- 
ment prepared  myself  for  the  coming  of  the  heavenly  Bride- 
groom, whom  my  fertile  imagination  had  clothed  in  the  fairest 
of  human  colors.  I  contemplated  this  celestial  spouse  in  a  ter- 
restrial manner,  because  the  imagination  cannot  very  well  pic- 
ture God. 

On  the  25th  of  July,  1864,  in  my  twenty-second  year,  I  was 

clothed  in  the  black  habit  of  the  professed  nuns,  and  pronounced 

the  final  vows  which  espoused  me  to  Him  whom  the  angels 

serve,  and  cut  me  off  entirely  from  the  world.     In  making  these 

vows  I  had  offered  to  God  a  perfect  holocaust,  meritoriously 

renouncing   riches  by   my  vow  of  poverty,  my  body,  and  all 

earthly  affection,  by  my  vow  of  chastity,  and  my  will  and  lib- 

(75) 


76  MY   MISSION    TO    HUDSON    CITY. 

erty  by  the  vow  of  obedience.  These  vows  were  a  second 
baptism,  a  sacrifice  so  heroical  and  excellent  that  Saint  Ber- 
nard calls  it  a  "  glorious  martyrdom."  It  is  indeed  a  continual 
martyrdom,  the  martyrdom  of  a  religious  is  not  ended  by  one 
blow,  it  is  a  long  suffering  daily  revived.  It  is  a  martyrdom 
which  God  rejects  because  it  places  self-righteousness  on  the 
Mediatorial  throne  from  which  the  One  Mediator  is  ejected. 
And  oh,  what  a  naked,  unsubstantial,  comfortless  atonement  is 
here  offered  to  an  outraged  God ! 

I  had  taken  upon  myself  this  continual  martyrdom,  ana  at 
every  cost  I  would  be  faithful  to  my  obligations,  and  scrupu- 
lously exact  in  the  observance  of  my  vows.  I  had  forecasted 
the  difficulties  and  anticipated  the  requirements  these  vows  en- 
forced ;  nevertheless,  inasmuch  as  it  is  impossible  fully  to  fore- 
see the  future  of  any  state  of  existence  because  of  the  changes 
which  we  ourselves  undergo,  and  much  less  calculate  all  the 
phases  presented  by  the  conventual  state  to  the  ever-varying 
human  heart,  I  did  not  foresee  the  intricate  paths  and  heart- 
wringing  suffering  which  would  eventually  lead  me  out  of  the 
meshes  of  delusion  into  the  broad  day  of  religious  liberty. 

After  my  profession  I  was  permitted  a  few  weeks  of  vacation 
in  Madison;  whence,  on  the  loth  of  August,  1864,  I  was  sent, 
in  company  with  sisters  Josephine  and  Agnes,  to.  establish  a 
Convent  in  Hudson  City,  N.  J.  My  heart  was  oppressed  with 
a  sad  foreboding  of  great  and  unforeseen  trials,  when  I  arrived 
at  my  new  destination  that  sultry  August  day.  "  Future  events 
cast  their  shadows  before."  Was  it  not  a  foresight  of  the  bitter 
heart  aches,  the  fierce  conflicts,  the  wild  temptations,  the  awful 


MY   MISSION    TO    HUDSON    CITY.  77* 

despair,  which  awaited  me  there,  that  cast  such  an  undefined 
dread  over  my  soul  that  day  ? 

Father  Venuta,  pastor  of  St.  Joseph's  Church,  had  everything 
in  readiness  for  our  reception.  Our  task  of  establishing  a  new 
parish  school  was  not  an  easy  one.  The  sisters  had  never  been 
there  before,  therefore'  it  required  a  great  deal  of  perseverance, 
and  patience,  to  gather  the  children  together.  However,  on 
account  of  the  daily  increase  in  our  school,  we  were  obliged  to 
send  to  Madison  for  another  nun.  Sister  De  Sales  was  sent  to 
us.  Sister  Josephine  was  the  appointed  sister-servant.  She 
was  another  edition  of  sister  Mary  Joseph.  Sister  Agnes  was 
a  novice,  and  of  her  trials  I  will  speak  in  another  chapter.  I 
was  next  in  authority  to  sister  Josephine,  and  I  soon  became 
the  popular  favorite  with  the  children  and  the  people ;  from 
which  cause  I  suffered  a  great  deal  through  the  jealousy  of  sis- 
ter Josephine. 

I  never  witnessed  so  much  squalor  and  misery  as  I  saw  in 
that  parish.  My  heart  ached  for  those  poor  priest-ridden  peo- 
ple, and  questioned  in  secret  why  there  was  no  remedy  ?  I 
visited  them  in  sickness  and  affliction,  in  their  poverty  and  mis- 
ery, in  the  jail,  and  in  their  comfortless  abodes.  I  have  often 
scrubbed  the  filthy  floors  of  their  shanties  when  the  women 
were  ill  or  intoxicated,  and  in  every  way  I  tried  to  relieve  their 
misery  as  far  a's  lay  in  my  power.  Father  Venuta,  their  pas- 
tor, was  a  passionate  Italian,  who  never  visited  his  poor  people 
except  on  his  never-endiug  beggiug  expeditions.  On  the  rich, 
however,  he  lavished  his  priestly  services.  He  hot  only  beg- 
ged himself  from  his  poor  parishioners,  but  he  also,  sent  the 


78  MY   MISSION    TO    HUDSON    CITT. 

sisters  to  beg  for  him ;  he  would  often  say  to  me  in  his  peculiar 
style,  when  he  wanted  me  to  beg :  "  Ho  yoo  are  sooch  a  goode 
seesther,  and  the  people  doos  like  the  leetle  seesther,  and  they 
weel  geeve  yoo  pleenty  of  mooney." 

My  heart  often  refused  to  take  money  from  the  poor  people 
who  would  give  me  -their  last  cent  rather  than  refuse  the  "  Holy 
Sister."  I  always  found  the  ignorant  poor  more  willing  to  give 
to  the  priests  and  sisters  than  the  rich,  who,  as  a  general  thing, 
are  more  enlightened.  Priests  are  dressed  in  purple  and  gold 
vestments  when  they  say  mass,  and  they  are  attired  in  the  best 
of  broadcloth  on  other  occasions,  while  those  from  whom  they 
extort  the  means  for  their  luxury,  are  in  rags.  Catholics  build 
up  elegant  houses  for  their  clergymen,  and  furnish  them  with 
every  modern  comfort  and  luxury,  while  their  own  poor  shan- 
ties are  bare  and  comfortless.  Catholics  are  burdened  with  a 
tax  in  their  priesthood  without  deriving  any  real  good  from  it 
for  themselves. 

A  priest  will  not  even  say  a  mass  for  the  poorest  among  his 
flock  unless  he  receives  one  dollar.  Priests  receive  one  dollar 
for  each  mass  they  say  during  the  year ;  and  sometimes  they 
have  so  many  "  intentions  "  that  they  sell  them  to  each  other. 
By  an  "  intention  "  I  mean  the  arrangement  made  by  a  priest 
with  a  parishioner  to  pray  for  the  latter,  or  his  departed  friends. 
Now,  suppose  a  Mr.  McNulty  should  give  Father  Venuta  fifty 
dollars  and  request  him  to  say  fifty  masses  for  his  soul,  perhaps 
in  the  week  or  month  following  the  priest  might  have  one 
hundred  persons  apply  in  the  same  manner ;  these  masses,  or 


MY   MISSION    TO    HUDSON    CITY.  79 

"  intentions,"  which,  he  could  not  say,  tie  would  sell  to  other 
priests.  A  priest  can  only  say  one  mass  in  a  day  except  Sun- 
days, when  he  can  say  two  ;  yet  he  is  often  paid  for  more 
masses  than  he  can  say  in  one  year.  If  he  is  honest  he  will 
sell  them  to  some  priest  who  has  not  so  many  applications. 
But  what  guarantee  has  the  applicant  that  the  masses  are  ever 
said  ? 

The  mass  is  the  "  unbloody  sacrifice  of  the  body  and  blood 
of  Christ,  and  the  daily  oblation  of  Calvary."  Now,  if  the 
mass  is  so  very  holy,  why  are  priests  paid  for  all  they  say  ?  and 
why  do  they  even  peddle  them  around  for  sale  ?  Priests  will 
extort  money  in  every  way  from  their  blinded  followers,  and 
then  in  their  necessities  abandon  them  to  die  of  starvation, — 
which  they  often  would  were  it  not  for  the  humane  charities  of 
Protestants  whom  they  are  taught  to  despise,  and  believe  con- 
demned to  eternal  damnation. 

My  dear  Catholic  readers,  I  now  look  pityingly^upon  you, 
as  I  was  once  in  the  same  condition  myself.  I  did  not  lose  my 
faith  in  the  purity  of  the  Catholic  church  without  a  fearful 
struggle.  I  would  gladly  have  your  eyes  open  to  the  truth  of 
what  I  state  as  facts,  in  order  that  your  daughters  and  sisters 
may  escape  sufferings  like  those  of  Sister  Teresa  de  ChantaL 
Tear  down  the  false  staging  which  keeps  from  you  the  true 
worship  of  Christ.  I  desire  you  all  to  be  saved  through  Christ 
alone. 

In  the  Catholic  church  the  worship  of  Christ  is  behind  the 
theatricals  of  gaudily  dressed  priests,  incensed  sanctuaries,  or- 
namented images  of  the  Virgin  Mary,  beautiful  pictures,  frescoed 


80  MY   MISSION    TO    HUDSON    CITY. 

paintings,  wondrous  statuaries  of  imaginary  saints  and  martyrs, 
rosaries,  scapulars,  medals,  relics,  and  Agnus  Deis,  with  their 
accompanying  indulgences  ;  and  associated  with  most  entranc- 
ing music,  fragrant  flowers,  lighted  candles,  gorgeously  dressed 
altars,  surpliced  acolytes,  blessed  ashes,  holy  water,  consecrated 
wafers,  holy  oil  and  chrism.  There  are  also  the  attractive  cer- 
emonies of  extreme  unction,  absolution,  confession,  satisfaction, 
besides  the  lenten  fasts,  and  days  of  abstinence,  genuflexions 
and  stations  of  the  cross,  the  crosier  and  mitres  with  the  ponti- 
ficial  high  mass  decorations,  latin  liturgies,  illuminated  missals, 
gold  and  silver  ciboriums,  ostensoriums  and  chalices,  candela- 
bras  and  vases,  crosses  and  precious  stones,  costly  laces,  fine 
linens,  and  the  royal  puple,  with  numerous  minor  forms  and 
ceremonies.  All  these,  my  Catholic  readers,  before  you  can 
get  to  Christ.  You  say,  "  but  we  are  not  worthy  to  go  to 
Christ,  so  we  send  to  Him,  His  holy  Mother,  and  His  saints, 
and  His  hgly  priests."  Now,  Christ  invites  all  to  come  to  Him 
in  truth  and  humility ;  and,  in  order  that  we  might  go  to  Him 
the  more  readily  He  clothed  Himself  in  our  lowly  humanity. 
We  all  have  one  great  boon  to,  procure,  our  soul's  salvation.  If 
we  are  truly  desirous  of  securing  it  we  will  not  trust  it  to  an 
ambassador,  no  matter  how  trustworthy,  but  we  will  go  our- 
selves to  the  Fountain  of  Life,  Christ  Himself,  then  we  will  be 
sure  that  we  will  not  be  deceived.  I  never  realized  the  truth 
of  God  until  I  had  completely  torn  down  the  false  staging 
which  hid  Him  from  me.  But  oh,  the  unutterable  anguish,  the 
fearful  desolation  of  spirit  I  experienced,  in  the  awful  tearing 
away  of  my  once  venerated  faith !      I  now  thank  God  in  my 


MY   MISSION    TO    HUDSON    CITY. 


81 


mnermost  heart  for  my  wonderful  deliverance.  I  am  now  cov- 
ered with  His  righteousness,  I  am  no  longer  the  same ;  Jesus 
is  now  my  only  refuge.  Adored  Lord !  increase  my  faith,  per- 
fect it,  crown  it.  Having  drawn  me  from  the  pit  and  borne 
me  at  last  to  Thy  true  fold,  keep  me  in  Thy  sweet  pastures 
And  lead  me  to  eternal  life. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

SISTER   AGNES,    SHE    LEAVES    THE    CONVENT. 

Sister  Agnes  had  been  in  the  novitiate  about  six  months 
when  she  came  with  us  to  Hudson  City.  Her  name  in  the 
world  was  Teresa  McGehan  ;  her  friends  were  wealthy  and 
resided  in  Brooklyn,  L.  I.  She  was  very  beautiful ;  her  face 
had  a  power  of  most  varied  expression,  with  a  touch  of  pathetic 
sadness  that  penetrated  my  heart  and  caused  me  to  become 
deeply  interested  in  her.  She  had  been  engaged  to  be  married 
•to  one  whom  she  loved  with  all  the  intensity  of  her  nature ; 
but  death  deprived  her  of  the  beloved  one,  and  a  hue  as  of  the 
grave  rested  upon  her  young  life.  She  came  to  the  convent 
to  seek  balm  for  her  anguished  heart,  and  rest  for  her  troubled 
spirit.  Poor,  deluded  one !  The  dull  monotonous  life  of  a 
nun  was  not  adapted  to  her  warm,  susceptible,  sensitive  nature, 
and  she  soon  realized  the  bitter  truth.  A  "  particular  friend- 
ship "  soon  sprung  up  between  us.  Sister  Josephine  subjected 
Sister  Agnes  to  the  deepest  humiliation ;  she  compelled  her  to 
work  in  the  kitchen,  scrub  the  floors,  and  perform  all  the  hard 
and  menial  offices  in  the  house.  Sister  Agnes  possessed  a 
powerful  self-will,  strengthened  as  it  had  always  been   by  her- 

•        (82) 


SISTER    AGNES,    SHE    LEAVES    THE    CONVENT.  *  83 

friends,  who  had  never  thwarted  her  in  the  most  trifling  ca- 
price, consequently  she  was  unable  to  yield  her  will  in  sub- 
mission to  the  cruel  demands  of  a  superior  who  was  in  every 
way  her  inferior,  and  so  against  the  unjust  commands  of  Sister 
Josephine  she  frequently  rebelled.  Her  friends  often  visited 
her,  but  she  was  never  permitted  to  see  them  alone.  They 
would  send  her  delicacies  which  were  never  given  to  her,  and 
every  movement  of  hers  was  watched  and  reported  by  the  spy, 
De  Sales.  Sister  Agnes  frequently  confided  to  me  the  great 
interior  trials  she  suffered,  and  how  fearfully  she  was  tempted 
with  uncharitable  thoughts  against  some  of  the  sisters.  She 
often  gave  expression  to  the  following  words,  "  Sister,  God 
forgive  me !  but  I  hate  Sister  De  Sales  with  all  my  heart,  and 
as  for  Sister  Josephine,  I  despise  her."  I  counseled  her  to 
bear  all  trials  patiently  for  her  soul's  sake,  and  that  the  grave 
would  soon  come  to  our  relief,  and  our  reward  would  be 
eternal. 

One  day  Sister  Josephine  commanded  her  to  carry  a  large 
basket  of  clothes  down  stairs.  Sister  Agnes  replied  they  were 
too  heavy  to  carry  alone,  whereupon  Josephine  undertook  to 
assist  her,  at  the  same  time  pushing  the  basket  against  Sister 
Agnes,  causing  her  foot  to  slip  from  the  step,  and  she  was  vio- 
lently precipitated  to  the  bottom  of  the  stairs.  Sister  Agnes 
fainted,  and  remained  several  hours  as  if  dead.  She  was  una- 
ble to  leave  her  bed  for  one  week,  and  was  constantly  spitting 
blood  in  large  quantities.  This  cruel  outrage  towards  Sistei 
Agnes  fired  my  soul  with  indignation,  and  I  threatened  Sister 


84  SISTER   AGNES,    SHE    LEAVES    THE    CONVENT. 

Josephine  that  I  would  write  about  her  to  Father  McQuade* 
and  inform  him  of  her  cruel  treatment  of.  Sister  Agnes,  whom 
she  came  so  near  killing.  My  threats  enraged  her  to  such  an 
extent  that  she  slapped  me  on  the  face,  with  her  large  mascu- 
line hand.  I  turned  to  her  my  other  cheek  winch  she  also 
slapped,  and  in  her  fury  she  pulled  off  my  head  dress,  and 
dragged  me  along  the  hall  by  the  hair  of  the  head.  I  know 
not  how  her  rage  would  have  terminated  •  if  she  were  not  at 
that  moment  called  down  to  the  parlor  to  see  Father  Senez, 
the  ex-Jesuit  of  Jersey  City,  who  was  deeply  enamored  with 
charming  Josephine,  who  never  exhibited  her  temper  before 
him ;  to  him  she  was  "  Son  idole,  la  belle  Josephine."  "When 
a  few  hours  afterwards  I  entered  the  cell  of  Sister  Agnes  I 
found  her  weeping  convulsively.  She  told  me  she  had  decided 
to  leave  the  "  convent  hell,"  even  if  her  soul  should  be  damned 
by  the  action ;  she  could  no  longer  endure  such  a  life.  At  her 
earnest  request  I  wrote  a  letter  to  her  sister,  Mrs.  Devane,  of 
Brooklyn,  imploring  her  to  come  and  take  her  away  from  the 
convent.  This  letter  I  sent  unknown  to  Sister  Josephine.  In 
a  few  days  her  friends  called,  and  with  great  joy  took  her  away 
from  the  convent ;  they  were  always  opposed  to  her  remaining 
'there.  Her  friends  wrote  to  Madison  for  her  clothes  and 
property,  of  which  they  never  received  one-third.  Poor  Sister 
Agnes  !  on    the  day  of  her  departure  from  the  convent,  she 


*  Father  McQuade  was  at  that  time  Father  Superior  over  the  Sisters 
and  President  of  Seton  Hall  College,  in  South  Orange,  N.  J.,  but  sinct 
that  time  he  has  been  made  Bishop  of  Rochester,  N.  Y. 


SISTER    AGNES,   SHE    LEAVES    THE    CONVENT.  *$'£> ' 

clung  to  me,  sobbing  as.  if  her  heart  would  break,  and  exclaim- 
ing,  "  0  sister,  I  fear  I  am  lost,  and  that  my  soul  will  be 
damned  eternally  for  abandoning  my  vocation,  but  I  cannot 
help  it.  I  have  not  your  submissive  perseverance  which  pati- 
ently submits  to  the  cruelty  of  convent  life !"  Poor  misguided 
soul !  she  thought  she  would  find  love,  and  calm,  and  rest,  and 
heaven-born  peace,  for  her  sorrowing  heart,  in  the  convent,  but 
alas !  with  all  other  deluded  ones  who  embrace  this  life,  she 
had  found  only  unkindness,  coldness,  suspicion,  jealousy,  and 
ceaseless  strife  and  unhappiness  :  instead  of  peace  she  had 
found  the  most  racking  doubts  and  mental  conflict ;  instead  of 
rest  a  ceaseless  strain  of  convent  observances,  and  mental  and 
physical  toil.  Happy  girl !  to  shake  off  the  shackles  of  con- 
ventualism ;  would  to  God  she  could  shake  off  the  chains  of 
Romanism  also,  and  find  eternal  rest,  and  peace,  and  joy  in 
Christ ! 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

INSANITY   OP    SISTER    VIRGINIA    AND    REBELLION     OF    SISTER 

ANN    ELIZABETH. 

Among  those  sisters  for  whom  I  entertained  a  particular  at- 
tachment, none  were  so  dear  to  me  as  Sister  Virginia.  Ellen 
O' Grady  was  her  worldly  name,  and  she  had,  before  she  left 
the  world,  resided  with  her  mother  in  Newark,  N.  J.  She 
entered  the  convent  a  few  days  after  myself,  therefore  she  was 
a  candidate  with  me.  She  was  one  of  those  beautiful,  highly 
gifted  souls  whom  one  rarely  meets  with  in  a  life  time.  There 
was  a  certain  congeniality  of  thought  and  ideas  which  strongly 
drew  us  together,  and  to  each  other  we  poured  out  our  several 
trials.  Her  refined  and  exalted  nature  felt  most  acutely  the 
trials  of  convent  life.  Among  her  various  accomplishments 
she  excelled  in  penmanship,  and  after  she  received  the  habit 
of  the  novice,  she  was  retained  at  the  mother-house,  and  ap- 
pointed teacher  of  ornamental  penmanship  to  the  young  ladies 
of  the  Academy.  So  after  our  three  months  candidateship 
had  expired,  our  intercourse  was  limited  to  the  few  weeks  vaca- 
tion when  the  sisters  all  meet  in  Madison  for  the  annual  re- 
treat. 

(86) 


INSANITY    AND    REBELLION.  87 

The  last  time  I  saw  her  was  in  July,  1866.  Never  will  I 
forget  the  final  words  she  spoke  to  me  as  I  was  about  leaving 
again  for  Hudson  City.  She  clasped  my  hand  and  with  deep 
solemnity  of  word  and  manner,  said,  "  Sister,  convent  life  is  a 
living  death  which  I  feel  I  cannot  longer  endure,  for  I  shall  go 
mad.  I  feel  it !  I  feel  it !"  Deeply  moved  by  her  words  I 
replied,  "  Dear  Sister,  drive  such  thoughts  from  your  mind. 
It  is  true  that  we  have  realized  that  conventualism  is  a  system 
calculated  to  destroy  the  brightest  intellect  and  talent,  and  root 
out  of  the  heart  every  beautiful  and  tender  feeling  ;  neverthe- 
less, dear  sister,  the  awakening  comes  too  late — too  late.  We 
must  persevere  for  our  soul's  sake  until  the  welcome  angel  of 
death  comes  to  our  deliverance."  She  rejoined,  "  I  trust,  my 
sister,  that  the  words  I  utter  against  my  vocation  will  not  scan- 
dalize you ;  yet  I  feel  that  I  will  never  see  you  again,  and  I 
must  speak  out  to  you  my  convictions ;  for  to  no  one  else  in 
the  community  would  I  utter  them.  The  enormities  which  I 
witness '  here  daily,  and  the  outrageous  insults  offered  to  my 
nature  cause  my  reason  to  totter  on  its  throne ;  and  I  feel — I 
know,  that  I  shall  lose  my  mind."  She  then  embraced  me 
most  affectionately,  begging  me  to  pray  for  her,  while  her  ex- 
pressive blue  eyes  filled  with  tears,  and  her  beautiful  and  sen- 
sitive lips  quivered  with  emotion  as  she  uttered  the  words, 
"  Good  bye,  my  soul's  companion !  Good  bye  forever !  If  you 
•see  me  again,  I  feel  that  I  will  be  insane — mad."  How  pro- 
phetic were  the  words !  When  I  went  to  the  mother-house 
again  on  the  retreat  of  1867,  Sister  Virginia  was  not  there ; 


88  INSANITY   AND    KEBELLION. 

she  was  as   inmate  of  the  Insane  Asylum,  at  Mount   Hope, 
Maryland. 

Sisters  never  know  what  takes  place  in  the  different  houses  of 
the  order,  therefore  I  was  most  anxious  to  learn  the  cause  of 
Sister  Virginia's  insanity,  but  it  being  against  the  rules  to  make 
any  inquiries  or  ask  unnecessary  questions,  I  did  not  dare  to  in- 
quire about  her ;  however,  one  of  the  novices  gave  me  the  fol- 
lowing account :  It  was  the  2 2d  of  June,  18G7,  the  morning 
of  the  distribution  in  the  Academy,  that  Sister  Virginia  was 
found  by  Sister  Madeleine  at  her  writing  desk,  her  head  buried 
in  her  hands.  "When  Sister  Madeleine  spoke  to  her,  she  began 
to  cry  and  scream,  "  I  am  mad !  I'm  mad !"  During  three 
days  and  nights  she  was  unmanageable,  and  in  her  ravings  re- 
proached the  sisters  with  all  manner  of  crimes.  When  she 
became  more  calm  she  was  attired  in  worldly  clothes  and  con- 
veyed to  the  Insane  Asylum,  at  Mount  Hope.  This  Asylum 
is  under  the  superintendence  of  the  Emmettsburg  Sisters  of 
Charity.  The  last  I  heard  of  her  was  that  she  was  considered 
hopelessly  insane  ;  reason  had  flown  from  its  beautiful  seat,  and 
that  once  highly  gifted  and  talented  girl  is  now  a  mental  wreck, 
another  of  the  many  such  victims  of  that  accursed  and  de- 
plorable system  of  conventualism.  Poor  Virginia !  could  she 
have  abandoned  the  loveless,  hopeless  life  she  led  in  the  con- 
vent, when  she  first  felt  the  dread  foreboding  of  the  sad  fate 
which  came  upon  her,  and  returned  to  the  love  and  care  of  her 
mother,  she  would  have  been  saved  from  mental  shipwreck ; 
but  alas !  she  was  bound  by  vows  winch  she  would  conscien- 
tiously keep  even  at  the  sacrifice  of  reason. 


INSANITY   AND    REBELLION.  89 

However,  several  sisters  did  rebel  and  leave  the  Madison 
Community,  among  them  was  Sister  Ann  Elizabeth.  This 
sister  was  one  of  the  first  candidates  when  the  community  was 
established  in  the  diocese  of  Newark,  in  1859.  Sister  Ann 
Elizabeth  is  well  known  in  Jersey  City,  where  she  was  superior 
for  several  years  in  St.  Peter's  parish.  In  the  community  of 
Madison,  a  council  is  convened  every  month  for  the  purpose  of- 
settling  all  the  difficulties  of  the  order.  It  is  in  these  councils 
sentence  is  pronounced  upon  refractory  sisters,  and  all  the 
secrets  of  the  community  discussed.  The  council  consists  of 
the  reverend  Mother  Xavier  and'  three  sisters  next  to  her  in 
office,  presided  over  by  the  Father  Superior,  who  at  that  time 
was  Father  McQuade.  Sister  Ann  Elizabeth  was  one  of  the 
sisters  who  sat  in  this  council.  She  was  an  Irish  lady  possess- 
ing great  dignity  of  character,  which  could  not  brook  anything 
de^radin"-.  When  she  was  admitted  as  a  member  of  the  coun- 
cil,  her  eyes  were  opened,  and  she  could  not  remain  a  mem- 
ber of  a  community  where  she  knew  they  did  such  wicked 
things.  I  remember  the  last  time  I  saw  her  was  during  our 
summer  vacation  in  1866.  She  came  into  the  study  hall,  where 
the  novices  and  young  professed  nuns  were  assembled,  and  thus 
addressed  us  :  "  Sisters,  I  advise  every  one  of  you  to  leave  this 
abode,  and  go  back  to  your  homes,  for  I  am  sure  the  curse  of 
God  will  fall  upon  this  Community  on  account  of  the  crimes 
covered  up,  and  which  I  as  a  member  of  the  secret  council 
know.  Sisters,  if  you  knew  what  I  know,  you  would  fly  from 
here."  Sister  Ann  Elizabeth  was  very  much  excited  while  she 
spoke,  and  we  all  looked  upon  her  in  amazement.     Mother 


90  INSANITY   AND    REBELLION. 

Xavier  came  in  while  sister  was  speaking,  and  in  the  most 
bland  and  sympathetic  manner  said,  "  Sisters,  I  request  your 
prayers  for  our  dear  and  worthy  Sister  Ann  Elizabeth,  who 
has  become  another  victim  to  insanity.  Do  not  notice  what 
she  is  saying — she  is  crazy."  Sister  Ann  Elizabeth  was  not 
insane,  she  was  in  possession  of  all  her  mental  and  physical 
I  powers  ;  she  went  to  Bishop  Bayley,  and  demanded  to  be  dis- 
pensed from  her  vows ;  took  measures  to  have  the  money  she 
brought  to  the  convent  refunded  to  her,  and  with  it  she  went 
to  her  friends  in  Ireland. 

Several  sisters  followed'  the  example  of  Sister  Ann 
Elizabeth,  and  nfbst  of  them  professed  nuns.  The  following 
sisters  left  the  convent  in  less  than  two  years  :  Sister  Ignatius, 
Sister  Alphonsus,  Sister  Seraphina,  Sister  Jane  Frances,  Sister 
Scholastica,  Sister  Clara,  Sister  Ann  Maria,  Sister  Camilla, 
and  Sister  Ann  Joseph,  whom  I  introduced  to  my  readers  in 
Paterson.  When  she  left  the  convent  she  had  been  injidele 
a  ses  voeux  de  chastete  et  etait  enceinte.  Suspicion  rested  upon 
Rev.  Father  Brann,  D.  D.,  formerly  of  Jersey  City,  as  her 
accomplice.  Besides  these,  three  sisters  became  insane,  four 
died,  and  others,  whose  mysterious  disappearance  was  never 
accounted  for.  All  those  sisters  I  have  mentioned,  who  left 
the  convent,  remained  Catholics,  therefore  the  world  will  never 
know  the  circumstances  which  led  them  to  surmount  the  diffi- 
culties of  an  escape  from  the  unnatural  discipline  of  convent 
life,  and  even  if  they  do  not  remain  Catholics,  j^erhaps  their 
own  share  in  sins  will  prevent  them  from  denouncing  a  system 


INSANITY  AND   REBELLION.  91 

which  is  a  disgrace  to  civilization ;  but  at  the  judgment  day 
there  will  be  a  fearful  unraveling  of  clerical  and  monastic 
entanglements.  That  day  will  unmask  to  the  world  the  false 
hearts  of  priests  and  nuns-;  and  in  the  hands  of  a  strictly  just 
God  I  leave  them. 


,- sA, 

-~v  ♦   Y  Y  Y    *  /-y 


CHAPTER  XV. 

REV.    WILLIAM    M.    WALSH. 

One  Saturday  evening  in  April,  1867,  Father  Venuta  came 
into  the  convent  as  usual  to  hear  the  sisters  confession,  and 
when  he  was  about  to  depart  he  turned  to  me,  and  in  a  jesting 
manner  said,  "  0  Seesther,  you  will  have  a  new  priest  to-mor- 
row— a  nice  young  Irishman."  Why  did  a  terrible  presenti- 
ment of  some  mighty  sorrow  overshadow  my  soul,  and  with 
an  icy  grasp  chill  my  inmost  heart  as  Father  Venuta  made 
this  announcement?  "Why  was  I  so  oppressed  by  an  unde- 
fined weight  of  impending  evil  ?  Ah !  it  was  the  wierd  fore- 
shadowing of  one  of  the  most  bitter  trials  and  cruel  wrongs 
that  ever  pierced  a  pure  woman's  heart.  Let  the  sequel 
show. 

On  the  Sunday  of  his  arrival,  Rev.  William  M.  Walsh  was 
conducted  by  Father  Venuta  into  the  convent,  and  introduced 
to  the  sisters.  When  he  was  presented  to  me,  he  extended  his 
hand  which  I  feigned  not  to  see,  because  I  experienced  an  un- 
accountable shrinking  from  contact  with  him.  Father  Walsh 
at  that  time  had  been  four  years  a  priest,  and  was  just  arrived, 
in  company  with  five  other  priests,  from  Australia,  where  his 

brother,  Rev.  Thomas  Walsh,  is  also  a  priest. 

(92) 


REV.    WILLIAM    M.    WALSH.  93 

At  the  time  of  my  introduction  to  this  man,  he  was  about 
twenty-six  years  of  age.  In  personal  appearance  he  was  tall, 
graceful,  and  dignified,  possessing  a  handsome  face,  and  a  most 
fascinating  and  winning  manner.  He  had  such  a  meek  and 
holy  expression  of  countenance  that  his  brother  priests  called 
him  the  "  Angelic,"  or  the  "  Youthful  St.  Aloysius."  Dear 
readers,  pity  me  in  this  most  painfid  task  of  speaking  of  this 
person.  Oh,  how  can  I  portray  to  you  the  depth  ot  his 
treachery  !  or  recall  his  perfidy  !  The  Roman  Catholic  church 
is  composed  in  great  part  of  hypocrites,  but  Father  Walsh  was 
certainly  one  of  the  most  consummate  hypocrites  I  ever  met,  and 
yet,  it  might  have  been  otherwise,  were  it  not  for  that  curse  of 
society,  Romish  Celibacy,  a  system  which,  instead  of  twining  a 
wreath  of  celestial  flowers  for  Hymen's  brow,  crushes  and 
buries  the  sweetest  of  all  human  affections  in  the  grave  of 
infamy,  where  the'  body  and  soul  perishes.  Father  Walsh 
might  have  been  a  bright  ornament  to  society  and  the  world,  for 
he  was  possessed  of  great  intellectual  capacity.  He  might  have 
been  a  kind,  loving,  and  devoted  husband,  a  tender  and  indul- 
gent parent,  for  his  temperament  was  most  ardent  and  affec- 
tionate. When  I  speak  of  the  unutterable  injury  this  man 
tried  to  inflict  on  me,  and  the  cruel  persecution  and  heart- 
wrung  sorrow  he  has  occasioned  me,  I  blame  the  accursed 
system  more  than  the  man.  The  man  I  leave  with  "  Him  who 
willeth  not  the  death  of  a  sinner,  but  rather  that  he  be  con- 
verted and  live ;"  but  the  wicked  system  I  deplore  and  con- 
demn. 

Father  Walsh,  after  his  introduction  to  me,  placed  himself 


94  REV.    WILLIAM    M.    WALSII. 

in  my  way  daily,  often  spending  two  hours  at  a  time  in  my 
class-room.  His  manner  was  always  kind  and  affectionate, 
while  he  treated  me  with  most  profound  respect  and  marked 
attention.  One  day,  about  six  weeks  since  I  first  saw  him,  he 
was  reviewing  my  class,  and  when  the  exercises  were  over  he 
handed  me  the  book,  at  the  same  time  clasped  my  hand,  and 
with  an  inexpressible  tenderness  in  look  and  tone,  said :  "  Sis- 
ter, I  love  you — I  love  you ;  O  God !  better  than  my  own  soul 
do  I  love  you  /"  At  these  strange,  passionate  words,  I  snatched 
my  hand  from  his  burning  clasp,  and  without  uttering  a  word  I 
retreated  from  the  school-room,  flew  to  my  cell,  bolted  the  door, 
and  flinging  myself  on  my  knees  in  an  agony  of  grief,  prayed  for 
strength  to  combat  this,  the  greatest  temptation  of  my  life.  O 
God !  what  words  had  I  heard ;  "  Sister,  I  love  you — more 
than  my  soul  I  love  you !"  Oh,  how  they  pierced  my  inmost 
being !  an  anointed  priest  of  God  had  been  guilty  of  uttering 
such  words  to  me,  a  consecrated  virgin !  a  spouse  of  Christ ! 
Oh,  sacrilege,  sacrilege ! !  It  was  a  crime  for  me  to  listen  to 
such  words.  I  had  made  vows  to  God,  and  I  would  be  faith- 
ful to  them,  even  though*  my  heart  should  break  in  the  attempt. 
For  several  days  I  avoided  Father  Walsh  by  retreating  from 
the  class-room  as  soon  as  he  entered  it.  Finally  he  called 
after  school  hours,  and  requested  an  interview  with  me  in  the 
parlor.  Tremblingly  I  went  to  meet  him,  praying  God  to  help 
me.  When  I  entered  the,  parlor  I  was  astonished  at  his  hag- 
gard appearance  and  his  sad,  unhappy  look.  I  said,  "  Father, 
whatever  you  have  to  say,  speak  it  quickly,  and  do  not  I  beg 
of  you  repeat  the  words  you  uttered  last  to  me,  for  I  cannot 


REV.    WILLIAM   M.    WALSH.  95 

listen  to  them,  they  are  sacrilegious."  He  replied,  a  Oh  Sister  ! 
dearest  sister  !  forgive  me.  I  know  my  words  trouble  you,  but 
I  must  speak  them,  my  heart  is  breaking !  O  my  God !  why 
did  I  ever  become  a  priest.  Dear  Sister,  when  I  first  saw  you 
I  loved  you,  and  I  have  not  known  a  happy  moment  since,  and 
I  fear  never  will  again.  Oh,  sweet  love,  I  am  fearfully  tempt- 
ed !  I  cannot  drive  you  from  my  thoughts.  In  my  masses, 
prayers,  and  divine  offices,  your  image  comes  between  me  and 
my  God !  O  sister,  I  cannot  help  loving  you.  I  do  worship 
you,  and  how  happy  we  might  be  if  it  were  only  lawful  for  us 
to  be  married  !  Oh,  if  you  were  not  a  sister,  and  I  were  not 
a  priest !"  At  these  words  he  wept  bitterly,  while  his  frame 
shook  and  trembled  with  the  deepest  anguish.  In  my  girlhood 
days,  before  I  entered  the  convent,  I  had  listened  to  many  pro- 
fessions of  love  and  proposals  cf  marriage,  but  my  heart  had 
never  responded  to  them.  I  had  never  loved  man,  as  I  felt  I 
was  capable  of  loving,  and  I  always  regarded  marriage  in  such 
a  pure  light,  that  in  order  to  enter  into  its  sacred  cares  and  re- 
sponsibilities I  must  meet  a  man  to  whom  I  could  give  all  the 
deep  love  of  my  nature.  Such  a  man  I  had  never  met ;  and 
now  when  it  is  too  late,  when  I  am  forever  shut  out  from  all 
human  love  and  affection,  I  am  moved  for  the  first  time  by  the 
passionate  appeal  of  this  man — an  appeal  which  called  forth  a 
pure  response  from  the  very  depths  of  my  nature.  I  could 
have  loved  that  man,  but  it  was  too  late.  When  his  emotion 
had  in  a  measure  subsided,  he  said,  "  And  now,  dear  love,  tell 
me  that  you  love  me  also."  My  heart  ached  while  I  replied  to 
him  thus :     "  Father,  I  am  sorry  that  you  have  crossed  my 

5 


96  ItEV.    WILLIAM    M.    WALSH 

path.  Would  to  God  that  we  had  never  met !  And  now  that 
we  have,  we  must  separate.  It  is  sinful  for  us  to  remain  in 
*.he  same  place — we  can  never  be  anything  more  to  each  other 
than  we  are  at  the  present.  Are  we  not  both  bound  by  vows, 
whose  sacred  obligations  we  must  fulfil,  else  forfeit  the  salva- 
tion of  our  immortal  souls  ?  and  if  we  lose  our '  souls  what 
doth  the  whole  world  profit  us,  or  what  shall  we  give  in  ex- 
change for  them  !  I  am  sorry,  Father,  if  my  words  pain  you, 
but  know  that  my  heart  is  breaking  while  I  conscientiously 
speak  these  words  of  duty.  I  have  already  sinned  in  listening 
to  you,  and  I  beg  you  will  never  repeat  such  expressions  of 
love  to  me  again.  I  will  this  day  write  to  Mother  Xavier  and 
beg  of  her  to  remove  me  from  here  to  some  other  place  where 
we  will  not  be  in  danger  of  meeting  each  other,  and  then  dear 
father,  let  us  hope  that  we  will  meet,  and  be  united  in  heaven." 
I  then  immediately  left  the  parlor — left  him  weeping,  and  has- 
tened to  my  cell,  and  there  in  mortal  anguish  which  none  but 
God  can  ever  know,  I  cast  myself  at  His  feet  and  His  holy 
Mother's,  and  with  a  suffering  heart  prayed  to  be  delivered 
from  one  of  the  severest  trials  that  human  infirmity  can  en- 
counter, an  unlawful  love.  Oh,  the  mental  conflict  I  endured 
in  that  terrible  struggle  between  conscience  and  inclination ! 
On  one  side  my  poor  hungering,  perishing  human  heart  was 
pleased  to  know  that  it  had  found  some  one  to  love,  and  was 
beloved  in  return.  On  the  other  side  conscience  goaded  me, 
styling  that  love  a  crime,  a  sin,  a  sacrilege !  Only  those  who 
have  experienced  such  a  conflict  can  ever  know  or  understand 
its  meaning. 


REV.    WILLIAM    M.    WALSH.  97 

I  wrote  a  letter  at  once  to  Mother  Xavier,  explaining  to  her 
my  temptation,  and  imploring  her  to  remove  me  to  another  city. 
I  received  no  answer  to  that  letter.  Father  Walsh  did  not  im- 
mediately renew  the  expression  of  his  love  verbally,  but  his 
every  look  and  tone  exhibited  it.  I  avoided  seeing  him  as  much 
as  I  possibly  could,  and  was  wretchedly  unhappy.  Thus 
passed  two  months  of  the  sorest  temptation,  when  I  was  called 
to  Madison  to  make  the  annual  retreat.  After  the  retreat  I 
went  on  my  knees  to  Mother  Xavier,  and  pleaded  with  her  for 
Christ's  sake,  and  my  soul's  salvation,  not  to  send  me  back  to 
Hudson  City,  because  Father  Walsh  loved  me,  and  I  loved  him. 
I  told  her,  "  I  ardently  desired  to  be  faithful  to  my  vocation, 
and  if  she  would  thus  remove  me  from  the  place  of  trial,  I 
might  succeed  in  driving  his  love  from  my  mind."  She  laughed 
at  me,  exclaiming,  "  Indeed,  you  ought  to  feel  highly  honored 
to  have  won  the  love  of  such  a  handsome  young  priest,  but  I 
guess  you  only  imagine  it,  and  if  you  are  not  tried  you  will 
never  gain  the  victory." 

"  Yes  mother,  but  our  Lord  says — '  those  who  love  danger 
shall  perish  in  it,'  and  if  wood  is  thrown  in  the  fire  it  will 
burn." 

She  replied,  "  So  you  have  come  to  dictate  to  your  superiors 
have  you  ?  Is  that  keeping  the  vow  of  obedience,  which  of  the 
three  vows  has  supremacy  ?"  I  left  her  and  repaired  to  the 
chapel,  and  if  ever  a  bursting  heart  poured  forth  a  fervent 
prayer  to  God,  that  heart  was  mine  as  I  cast  myself  at  the  foot 
of  the  cross,  and  begged  my  heavenly  Father,  for  the  sake  of 
Christ  His  beloved  Son,  to  save  my  blood-bought  soul,  and  not 


98  REV.    WILLIAM    M.    WALSH. 

to  place  me  where  I  would  be  tempted  beyond  my  strength. 
I  made  this  prayer  with  so  much  faith  and  confidence  in  God, 
that  I  felt  sure  He  would  not  place  me  in  danger  of  losing  my 
soul.  "  The  ways  of  the  Lord  are  unsearchable,  yet  he  doeth 
all  things  well."  My  soul  was  to  be  saved  through  the  fiery 
crucible  of  tribulation.  God  would  not  permit  my  soul  to  be 
lost,  although  I  often  afterward,  in  my  fearful  desolation  and 
struggle,  reproached  God  for  what  I  then  thought  was  my  des- 
truction, but  which  proved  in  the  end  my  salvation. 

After  the  retreat  of  July,  1867,  I  was  the  only  sister  sent 
back  to  Hudson  City,  who  had  ever  been  there  before.  I  was 
placed  in  Sister  Josephine's  office,  while  she,  who  had  been  a 
superior  in  different  cities  for  over  seven  years,  was  that  year 
sent  to  Trenton,  to  fill  the  lowest  office  in  the  house  there. 
Her  arbitrary  spirit  could  not  brook  this  humiliation,  nor  could 
her  heart  bear  the  trial  of  being  so  far  removed  from  her  dear 
father  Senez,  in  Jersey  City,  therefore  three  weeks  afterward 
she  left  the  convent,  went  to  Jersey  City,  and  assumed  the 
office  of  housekeeper  to  Father  Senez,  to  whom  she  was  so 
warmly  attached,  and  causing  thereby  no  little  scandal  to  the 
community. 

Sister  Aloysius,  Sister  Mary  Clare,  and  Sister  Ann  Maria 
were  the  sisters  sent  with  me  to  Hudson  City.  The  action  of 
Mother  Xavier  in  sending  me  back  to  Father  Walsh,  seemed 
by  the  sequel  a  vile  plot  on  her  part  to  effect  the  ruin  of  my 
soul  and  body,  and  rob  me  of  the  priceless  pearl  of  innocence 
which  was  dearer  to  me  than  a  thousand  lives. 


CHAPTER    XYI. 

MY    BROTHER    VISITS    ME    IN   HUDSON    CITY. 

My  duties  now  more  than  ever  brought  me  in  contact  with 
Father  Walsh.  I  told  him  after  I  came  back,  that  as  long  as 
Mother  Xavier  had  treated  my  entreaties  to  be  removed  from 
there,  with  contempt,  the  only  hope  remaining  was  for  him  to  go 
to  Bishop  Bayley  and  request  another  parish.  This  he  refused 
to  do.  Father  Walsh  was  not  troubled  so  much  as  myself  with 
conscientious  scruples.  I  wondered  how  he  could  dare  to  offer 
the  sacrifice  of  the  mass,  or  administer  the  sacraments,  when 
his  thoughts  were  fixed  on  me  instead  of  those  sacred  duties. 
He  often  repeated  his  love  in  the  most  endearing  terms,  and 
with  burning  eloquence,  begged  me  to  leave  the  Convent  and 
go  with  him  to  some  foreign  country  and  there  get  married  by 
a  Protestant  minister  and  be  happy.  He  said  he  could  not 
live  without  me ;  that  I  was  dearer  to  him  than  God  or  his 
soul's  salvation,  and  for  my  sake  he  would  sacrifice  his  religion 
and  his  hopes  of  heaven.  I  was  strictly  exact  and  scrupulously 
faithful  to  my  vocation.  No  unkindness  or  cruelty  on  the  part 
of  the  sisters  could  make  me  abandon  it ;  even  my  great  love 
for  my  mother  or  home  could  not  tempt  me  to  leave  the  Con- 

(99) 


100  MY    BROTHER    VISITS    ME    IN    HUDSON    CITY. 

vent  or  break  the  vows  upon  which  I  thought  my  salvation 
depended.  Purity  was  my  standard  above  all  virtues,  and 
prizing  it  more  than  my  life  it  was  in  vain  he  held  out  such  in- 
ducements. At  that  time  a  marriage  by  a  Protestant  minister 
appeared  to  me  as  null  and  void,  consequently  no  marriage,  a 
mere  concubinage,  another  form  of  degradation  and  debase- 
ment. Moreover,  as  a  strict  Catholic,  I  believed  an  anointed 
priest  ought  not  to  think  of  a  woman.  "  Once  a  priest  always 
a  priest,  according  to  the  order  of  Melchisedeck ;"  and  I  being 
a  consecrated  virgin  to  the  Lord,  viewed  the  idea  of  marriage 
as  utterly  impossible  as  long  as  I  should  remain  a  Catholic.  I 
clung  to  my  church  with  all  the  tenacity  which  characterizes 
sincere  Catholics  who  think  there  is  no  salvation  outside  of  the 
sacred  precincts  of  their  church ;  and  to  throw  off  a  religion 
which  had  been  instilled  into  my  heart  from  infancy  and  had 
become  as  it  were  part  of  my  nature,  required  a  miracle  of  di- 
vine grace  which  at  that  time  I  neither  looked  for  nor  desired. 
I  might  love  Father  Walsh  because  I  could  not  help  it,  but  I 
could  avoid  a  life  of  degradation.  No  love  could  make  me 
sacrifice  my  honor  and  virtue. 

I  felt  it  was  a  mere  mockery  for  me  to  go  to  confession  and 
communion  while  I  was  continually  distracted  by  the  burning 
words,  tender  glances,  and  loving  manner  of  Father  Walsh,  for 
I  was  human  in  every  sense  of  the  word  despite  the  unnatural 
restraints  placed  upon  me,  and  my  poor  humanity  groaned  and 
writhed  under  its  weight  of  temptation. 

At  the  same  time  I  was  also  troubled  about  some  articles  of 
the  Catholic  faith,  especially  the  "  doctrine  of  transubstantia- 


MY   BROTHER   VISITS    ME    IN    HUDSON    CITY.  101 

tion."  An  incident  occurred  which  caused  my  faith  in  the 
Eucharist  to  waver.  I  had  charge  of  making  the  "  hosts," 
which  are  prepared  from  an  unleavened  batter  of  flour  and 
water.  One  Sunday  there  was  a  large  number  of  communi- 
cants, and  the  priest,  not  having  enough  of  "  hosts,"  sent  into 
the  Convent  for  some  more.  I  had  none  prepared  to  send  him 
immediately,  but  in  about  fifteen  minutes  I  sent  him  two  hund- 
red. The  time,  however,  for  consecration  was  past,  yet  the 
priest  gave  the  wafers  unconsecrated  to  the  people.  I  after- 
ward  apologized  to  the  priest  for  not  being  able  to  supply  him 
in  time  with  the  "hosts  ;"  to  which  he  replied,  "It  is  just  as 
well,  the  people  did  not  know  the  difference."  And  is  there 
any  difference  2  was  a  question  which  filled  my  soul  with  doubts. 

Was  Jesus  Christ,  as  true  God  and  true  man,  really  and  sub- 
stantially present  unde  the  appearance  of  bread  and  wine  ? 
Was  he  really  hidden  in  the  unleavened  "  host,"  with  or  with- 
out consecration? 

The  priest  said  it  made  no  difference.  Yet  my  faith  had 
taught  me  that  as  soon  as  the  priest  had  pronounced  over  the 
"  host "  the  words  of  consecration,  the  body  of  Jesus  Christ  was 
immediately  present  therein — the  same  body  that  was  born  of 
the  sacred  Virgin,  the  same  that  died  upon  the  cross,  that  was 
raised  again  to  life,  and  sits  at  the  right  hand  of  God  the  Fa- 
ther ;  that  in  a  hundred  thousand  masses  which  are  said  through- 
out the  extent  of  the  whole  church  in  the  space  of  an  hour, 
God  works  this  miracle  only  at  the  moment  the  priest  finishes 
the  words  of  consecration. 

These  were  the  truths  I  must  believe  without  embarrassing 


102  MY   BROTHER    VISITS    ME    IN    HUDSON    CITY. 

myself  with  curious  researches,  and  yet  I  had  heard  a  priest, 
who  had  the  power  to  create  a  God  by  a  few  words,  say  there 
was  not  any  difference  between  the  consecrated  and  unconsecrat- 
ed  "  hosts."  This  was  a  great  blow  to  my  vivid  faith  in  the  Real 
Presence,  and  I  struggled  against  it  as  a  most  trying  tempta- 
tion. To  doubt  an  article  of  the  Catholic  faith  is  a  more  griev- 
ous sin  than  the  commission  of  a  murder,  because  for  the  mur- 
derer there  is  the  remedy  of  a  good  confession  and  the  priest's 
absolution ;  but  for  a  soul  that  hesitates  to  believe,  and  doubts 
the  sufficiency  of  the  Catholic  faith,  there  is  no  salvation.  I 
trembled  at  this  temptation,  and  I  thought  God  had  forsaken 
me  and  delivered  me  over  to  the  devil,  but  blessed  be  God !  He 
gives  death  and  gives  life.  He  conducts  even  to  the  gates  of 
hell,  and  brings  back  again  to  a  clearer,  truer,  and  more  glori- 
ous life. 

Added  to  the  numerous  temptations  which  then  assailed  me 
was  an  internal  aridity  of  spirit  which  desolated  my  soul,  re- 
quiring a  most  powerful  effort  of  will  to  keep  me  in  the  path 
of  duty.  Assailed  by  temptations,  difficulties,  and  contradic- 
tions from  without,  and  by  disgust,  torpor,  and  despair  within, 
heart-sick,  perplexed,  afflicted,  forsaken,  and  cast  down,  I  strug- 
gled to  gain  the  victory  in  the  contest  between  nature  and 
grace,  between  faith  and  reason ;  but  dry  and  hard  as  my  daily 
bread  was  then,  it  was  sweet  in  comparison  to  that  of  which  I 
was  to  partake  ere  I  entered  into  rest.  The  cup  of  bitterness 
I  had  to  drink  to  the  very  dregs. 

In  the  midst  of  these  internal  and  external  trials  I  received 
a  visit  from  my  brother  John.     On  the  20th  of  November,  1867, 


MY    BROTHER    VISITS    ME    IN    HUDSON    CITY.  103 

I  was  called  into  the  parlor  to  see  a  young  man,  without  any 
idea  that  it  was  a  brother.  I  did  not  know  him  at  first,  he  was 
so  changed  from  the  beardless  school-boy  of  sixteen  to  whom  I 
bade  farewell  five  years  before.  I  could  scarcely  believe  that 
the  tall,  handsome  young  man  before  me  was  really  my  brother 
John ;  and  then  my  poor  heart  had  given  up  all  thoughts  of 
ever  seeing  any  member  of  my  family.  He  was  on  his  way  to 
San  Francisco,  and  while  waiting  in  New  York  City  for  the 
steamer  to  sail,  had  found  me  out  and  called  to  see  me.  I  could 
see  him  unrestricted,  for  I  was  then  in  charge  myself.  He 
questioned  me  about  my  happiness,  which  I  assured  him  was 
complete  in  being  the  spouse  of  Christ,  and  that  nothing  on 
earth  could  exceed  the  joy  I  experienced  as  the  bride  of  the 
King  of  kings.  How  in  the  very  depths  of  my  heart  I  despised 
myself  for  practising  such  dissimulation,  in  the  very  time,  too, 
when  I  seemed  to  be  lost  in  an  impenetrable  wilderness  of  mid- 
night darkness,  hedged  in  on  all  sides  by  thorns  and  briars  from 
which  I  tried  to  extricate  myself  only  to  become  more  and 
more  entangled,  pierced,  and  torn !  I  tried  to  look  heaven- 
ward, but  only  to  find  black,  black  darkness,  no  light,  no  ray  of 
hope,  no  escape,  yet  I  dared  to  utter  a  falsehood,  and  tell  my 
brother  I  was  happy. 

Brother  spoke  to  me  of  my  home,  and  all  its  loved  ones ; 
spoke  to  me  of  my  darling  mother,  told  me  of  her  grief  because 
I  was  gone  from  her ;  of  her  anxiety  when  she  could  not  hear 
from  me,  and  of  her  anguish  that  she  could  not  see  me.  Oh, 
my  mother  !  if  I  could  have  seen  you,  and  spoken  to  you  of  my 
temptations,  my  trials,  my  difficulties  at  that  time,  you  might 


104  MY    BROTHER    VISITS    ME    IN    HUDSON    CITY. 

have  saved  your  daughter  from  the  precipice  upon  which  she 
was  standing,  you  would  have  shielded  her  from  the  fearful  tem- 
pest which  was  about  to  burst  in  fury  upon  her  unprotected 
head!  John  sailed  on  the  21st  of  November,  for  California. 
The  following  letter  was  written  by  him  to  my  parents  just  be- 
fore his  departure,  and  was  afterwards  given  me  by  my  sister 
Gertrude  : 

St.  Nicholas  Hotel, 
New  York,  November  20th,  1867. 

Dear  Parents. — I  wish  to  imform  you  that  I  have  seen 
my  sister.  She  is  in  Hudson  City,  N.  J.  I  went  to  Paterson, 
and  the  sisters  told  me  she  had  gone  from  there  three  years 
ago.  I  had  considerable  difficulty  in  finding  her,  but  was  repaid 
an  hundred  fold  for  the  trouble — the  very  sight  of  her  would 
have  been  sufficient  reward.  She  is  the  very  image  of  happi- 
ness and  contentment.  She  was  overjoyed  to  see  me  ;  kissed 
and  embraced  me,  and  I  did  the  same  ;  and  why  should  I  not  ? 
my  own  dear  sister  !  my  beautiful  sister  !  She  is  really  happy. 
She  is  Superior  there,  and  the  people  think  everything  of  her ; 
they  venerate  her ;  and  who  could  do  otherwise  ?  I  was  not 
aware  that  I  loved  her  so  much.  I  found  it  a  task  to  come 
away  with  a  heart  at  all.  I  had  the  pleasure  of  her  company 
for  three  or  four  hours,  and  we  talked  volumes  in  that  time. 
They  were  the  happiest  hours  of  my  life.  I  gave  her  Gertrude's 
picture,  mother's,  and  my  own.  O  !  I  cannot  paint  the  scene 
that  took  place  when  she  saw  mother's  picture.  Dear  parents, 
she  looked  as  beautiful  as  ever,  with  her  large  deep  blue  eyes, 


MY    BROTHER    VITITS    ME    IN    HUDSON    CITY.  105 

bright  golden  hair,  and  holy,  mild  expression.  She  is  looking 
as  hearty  and  rosy  as  ever,  and  there  is  nothing  feigned — it  is 
all  so  real.  Oh,  how  affectionate  and  kind !  she  carries  an  in- 
describable charm  with  her.  I  am  told  that  the  women  of  the 
place,  when  they  meet  her,  kneel  down  and  ask  her  blessing. 
Let  it  be  remembered,  that  our  interview  was  witnessed  by  no 
third  person.  Please  send  this  letter  to  Gertrude,  in  Boston. 
She  wishes  to  see  Gertrude,  and  wants  her  to  come  and  see  her, 
or  else  write  to  her.  Direct  to  Sister  Teresa  de  Chantal,  St. 
Joseph's  Convent,  Hudson  City,  N.  J.  She  sends  her  kindest 
love  to  all.  If  nothing  happens  I  sail  to-morrow.  Good-bye, 
and  pray  for  your  Affectionate  Son, 

John  Sarsfield  O' Gorman. 
Farewell  for  a  few  ocean  weeks." 

From  the  tenor  of  this  letter  it  is  plainly  seen  how  well  I 
succeeded  in  deceiving  him,  and  how  completely  I  hid  from 
him  my  true  condition.  Although  I  suffered  in  the  deception, 
still  I  could  not  let  my  brother  know  that  I  was  miserably  un- 
happy in  the  life  I  had  voluntarily  chosen.  And  thus  it  is  that 
many  Catholics  are  deceived  in  the  true  condition  of  their 
friends  and  relatives  who  are  pining  uncomplainingly  in  their 
prison  home ;  but  God  had  decreed  that  one  day  I  should  lay 
bare  Convent  hypocrisy,  lift  the  veil,  and  let  all  the  world  know 
the  hidden  crimes  of  the  sanctuary. 


CHAPTER    XVII. 

MY   ESCAPE. 

Almost  driven  to  desperation  by  the  importunities  of  Father 
Walsh,  I  sent  the  following  letter  to  Mother  Xavier,  of  which 
I  carefully  preserved  a  copy  : 

"Hudson  City,  December  15th,  1867. 
In  the  hearts  of  Jesus  and  Mary. 

Dear  Mother  :  Once  again  I  address  you  in  order  to  beg 
of  you  to  remove  me  from  the  terrible  temptations  which  sur- 
round me  here.  i  My  soul  is  sorrowful  even  unto  death.'  Will 
you  not  have  pity  upon  me,  and  take  me  .away  from  Father 
Walsh  ?  How  can  I  worthily  receive  the  sacraments,  when  by 
my  weekly  confessions  I  must  accuse  myself  of  listening  to  ex- 
pressions of  an  unlawful  love — a  sacrilegious  love?  and  how  can 
I  avoid  it  as  long  as  you  permit  me  to  remain  near  the  occasion  ? 
Now,  Mother,  I  beg  of  you  for  Christ's  sake,  for  religion's  sake, 
and  for  my  soul's  sake,  to  remove  me  from  this  awful  danger. 
I  wish  to  be  faithful  until  death  to  my  vocation,  and  I  beg  of 
you  to  listen  to  my  prayer,  and  remove  me  from  this  heavy 
cross. 

Yours  in  the  hearts  of  Jesus  and  Mary, 

Sister  Teresa  de  Chantal." 

.     Q06) 


MY    ESCAPE.  107 

To  this  letter  I  received  the  following  reply : — 

"  St.  Elizabeth's,  Madison,  Dec.  28th,  1867 

Sister  Teresa  de  Chantal  : 

My  Child — Your  last  letter  to  me  shows  a  very  rebellious 
and  unresigned  spirit.  Remember,  Father  Walsh  is  a  holy 
priest  of  God,  and  will  do  nothing  wrong ;  he  knows  better 
than  you  what  is  a  sin  and  what  is  not.  I  am  sorry  that  you 
are  not  in  a  more  tranquil  state  of  mind.  Remember,  the  will 
of  your  superiors  is  that  of  God,  and  they  will  you  to  remain 
where  you  are.     Your  Mother  in  Christ, 

Mother  Mary  Xavier." 

From  this  letter  my  readers  can  see  I  had  nothing  to  expect 
from  the  woman  whose  will  I  was  bound  to  obey.  Every  day 
Father  Walsh's  protestations  became  more  ardent.  I  entreated 
him,  if  he  loved  me,  to  prove  that  love  by  keeping  away  from 
me,  and  not  to  see  me  at  all.  I  represented  to  him  the  anguish 
his  expressions  of  love  occasioned  me ;  I  pointed  out  to  him 
his  infidelity  to  his  sacred  obligations,  which  he  seemed  to  hold 
very  lightly,  as  he  so  often  urged  me  to  leave  the  convent  and 
go  With  him.  However,  a  crisis  was  at  hand  which  would 
change  the  whole  course  of  my  life,  brought  about  by  Father 
Walsh  attempting  one  of  the  most  appalling  crimes  that  has 
ever  called  for  retributive  justice  at  the  hands  of  injured  hu- 
manity. Oh,  how  can  I  speak  of  it  ?  how  recall  it  ?  how  ex- 
press the  untohl  anguish,  the  awful  suffering  I  afterwards 
endured,  which  resulted  in  my  being  torn  away  from  my  close 


108  MY    ESCAPE. 

membership  in  the  Catholic  religion,  a  religion  which  had  been 
indeed  part  of  myself. 

The  19th  of  January,  1868,  came  on  Simday.  I  was  per- 
forming my  usual  office  of  Sacristan,  and  at  seven  o'clock  in 
the  evening  was  engaged  in  the  church  removing  the  vesper 
decorations  from  the  altar,  and  adorning  it  for  the  morning's 
early  mass.  While  thus  employed  Father  Walsh  came  in  and 
knelt  down  on  the  altar  steps  as  if  in  prayer.  He  then  came 
behind  the  altar  where  I  was  arranging  some  flowers  into  bou- 
quets, which  were  intended  to  ornament  the  tabernacle,  and 
pulling  a  small  pocket-flask  out  of  his  pocket,  said,  "  Dear  sis- 
ter, I  notice  you  have  a  very  bad  cough,  I  have  bought  some 
cordial  for  you,  which  is  a  sure  remedy ;  I  am  confident  it  will 
do  you  good,  and  I  wish  you  would  try  some  of  it  now,  dearest." 
At  the  same  time  he  poured  some  of  the  "  cordial "  into  an 
ablution  glass  and  offered  me  to  drink.  With  all  the  simplicity 
of  innocence  I  drank  what  he  gave  me.  In  a  few  moments  I 
experienced  such  a  feeling  of  numbness  that  I  was  obliged  to 
stagger  to  a  chair  to  avoid  falling,  and  then  an  unconsciousness 
or  stupor  came  upon  me  from  which  I  awakened  much  sooner 
than  the  would-be  destroyer  anticipated,  and  thus  he  was  pre- 
vented from  carrying  out  his  base  design  of  accomplishing  that 
most  outrageous  of  crimes,  viol. 

The  Lord  had  saved  me,  but  O  God !  what  an  awakening ! 
what  a  revelation  !  what  a  wrong  had  been  attempted  !     A  mar 
who  had  professed  such  an  undying  love,  a  man  whom   I  had 
trusted,  a  man  anointed  of  the  Lord,  a  holy  priest  who  daily 
handled,  ate,  and  drank  the  body  and  blood,  soul  and  divinity 


MY    ESCAPE. 


109 


of  Jesus   Christ,  had,  in  the  very  presence  of  the  Blessed 
Sacrament,  before  the  holy  Tabernacle,  under  the  Lamp  of  the 
Sanctuary,  in  the  house  of  God,  attempted  the  most  atrocious 
of  crimes— to  desecrate  a  consecrated  virgin !     Oh,  what  a  dis- 
grace to  humanity  !     What  a  sacrilegious  crime  !     No  wonder 
my  brain  was  crazed.     No  wonder  I  rushed  from   the  church 
frenzied,  distracted,  mad.     No  wonder  I  became  deranged  in 
comprehending  the  horrible  enormity  of  such  a  crime.     All  is 
a  blank  in  my  memory  from  the  time  I  rushed  out  of  the  church 
until  Saturday,  the  25th  of  January,  when  I  came  back  to  con- 
sciousness.    I  afterwards   learned  from   Sister  Aloysius,   that 
on  that  terrible  Sunday  evening,  at  about  eight  o'clock,  I  rushed 
into  the  community-room  with  the  most  heart-rending  look  of 
despair  and  horror  depicted  on  my  face,  and  there  gave  way  to 
the  most  incontrollable  grief  she  had  ever  witnessed.     She 
called  in  Dr.  Hays,  Senior,  of  Hudson  City,  who  told  her  I  was 
threatened  with  insanity,  the  result  of  some  terrible  shock.   She 
immediately  telegraphed  to   Mother  Xavier,  who  sent  back  a 
dispatch  ordering  me  to  be  conveyed  in  a  carriage  to  Madison. 
Heartless  woman  !    she  was  obliged  to  remove  me  at  last.     I 
became  so  unmanageable  in  the  carriage  that  the  sisters  were 
compelled  to  stop  at  the  Orphan  Asylum,  in  South  Orange;  and 
it  was  there  I  found  myself  on  the  25th,  when  I  awoke  again 
to  consciousness.     The  horror  of  the  crime  attempted,  and  the 
effect  of  the  drugs  administered,  produced  a  temporary  insanity, 
but  the  agony  I  endured,  the  injury  I  sustained,  was  enough  to 
derange  almost  the  strongest  mind,  situated  as  I  had  been,  be- 
yond the  hope  of  a  recovery. 


HO  MY    ESCAPE. 

I  went  to  confession  in  South  Orange  and  told  the  priest  the 
fearful  crime  which  had  been  attempted ;  and  that  man,  ap- 
pointed a  spiritual  guide  to  souls,  chided  me  for  making  such  a 
noise  about  it,  because  a  man  was  not  responsible  for  what  he 
did  when  blinded  by  passion,  and  therefore  it  was  not  a  crime, 
and  I  must  not  take  it  to  heart  as  one.  Such  were  the  words 
addressed  to  my  sinking,  perishing  soul,  by  a  holy  priest  of  the 
church.  Such  the  excuse  offered  in  palliation  for  a  crime  that 
would  disgrace  the  evil  one  himself.  Priests  and  sisters  seemed 
linked  together  for  my  destruction. 

On  the  following  Monday,  Mother  Xavier  came  from  Madi- 
son to  see  me,  and  finding  me  apparently  well,  she  said,  "  Well, 
well,  the  idea  !  Why,  De  Chantal,  I  thought  you  were  sick ! 
Indeed,  it's  only  putting  on  airs  you  are  !  the  idea  of  a  Sister 
of  Charity  putting  on  airs,  and  making  believe  crazy.  Well, 
well,  come  now,  put  on  your  bonnet  and  go  with  me.  You  are 
worth  a  dozen  crazy  sisters  yet !  The  idea  of  you  cutting  up 
so !"  and  she  continued  bantering  me  in  the  above  style  for 
some  time.  I  made  myself  ready  to  accompany  her,  thinking 
she  was  going  to  take  me  to  Madison  ;  but  no,  wicked  woman  ! 
she  takes  me  back  again  to  Hudson  City.  Could  anything  be 
more  malevolent  than  this  action  of  Mother  Xavier's  ?  Can 
anything  be  more  inhuman  than  to  take  a  wounded,  frightened 
lamb,  and  re-thrust  it  into  the  jaws  of  the  wolf?  than  to  thrust 
a  child,  all  burned  and  blistered,  back  into  the  fire  ?  Thus  my 
lacerated  heart  was  thrust  back  to  be  relacerated. 

On  Tuesday,  the  28th,  Father  Walsh  had  the  audacity  to 
come  into  the  convent,  and,  without  ceremony  walked  up  stairs 


MY   ESCAPE.  Ill 

into  the  community-room  where  I  was.  The  sight  of  him  so 
maddened  me  that  I  cannot  remember  what  he  said,  I  think  it 
was  something  about  forgiveness,  and  that  he  could  not  live 
without  me.  I  ordered  him  out  of  my  presence  ;  called  Sister 
Aloysius,  and  told  her  to  go  down  to  Jersey  City  and  tell 
Mother  Xavier,  if  she  did  not  come  and  take  me  away  I  would 
expose  the  Community.  Mother  Xavier,  who  had  remained 
in  Jersey  City  all  night  came  up  again  to  Hudson  City,  and  for 
the  first  time  I  rebelled  against  obedience,  and  vehemently  de- 
nounced her  command.  I  also  appealed  to  Father  Venuta, 
who  told  her  to  take  me  to  Newark,  for  two  or  three  weeks, 
until  I  became  more  tranquil,  but  that  then  she  must  send  me 
back  again  because  the  people  of  Hudson  City  could  not  get 
along  without  the  "  leetle  Seesther.''  Accordingly,  on  Thurs- 
day, the  30th,  Mother  Xavier  left  me  in  Newark  where  I  was 
to  remain  until  I  should  become  "  more  tranquil." 

"  Man  proposes,  but  God  disposes."  The  next  Friday  morn- 
ing I  was  sent  to  teach  in  St.  Patrick's  Parochial  School,  some 
little  distance  from  the  Newark  Convent.  How  could  I  teach 
with  my  brain  on  fire,  my  heart  bleeding,  my  soul  in  agony  ! 
I  was  desperate  and  not  responsible  for  anything  I  might  do. 
My  soul  abhorred  the  priests  ;  they  were  vipers.  I  condemned 
the  sisters,  and  the  convent  as  all  defilement.  I  could  not 
remain  there  longer ;  the  very  thought  was  unendurable  !  I 
would  fly — escape — but  where  ?  and  would  not  my  soul  be 
eternally  damned  if  I  abandoned  my  vocation  ?  All !  and 
would  it  not  be  also  damned  if  I  remained  in  the  convent  ?  If 
so  I  would  rather  be  damned  out  of  the  convent  than  in  it 


112  MY    ESCAPE. 

Therefore,  wild  with  excitement,  I  donned  my  bonnet  and 
shawl,  appointed  a  monitress  over  my  class,  and  turned  my 
back  on  convent  life,  forever.  On  the  porch  of  the  school- 
house  I  met  Rev.  George  Doane,  who  accosted  me  with  &  fas- 
cinating "  good  morning,  Sister."  He  did  not  notice  that  I 
was  alone,  a  very  unusual  thing  for  a  Sister,  as  she  must  always 
have  a  companion  with  her,  if  only  a  child.  Of  course  the  affa- 
ble, effeminate,  and  boyish  Father  Doane  never  suspected  that 
I  was  running  away  from  the  convent,  else  he  would  not  have 
permitted  me  to  depart  so  unceremoniously  without  bidding 
him  farewell,  at  least.  I  did  not  premeditate  the  step  I  took 
that  stormy  January  day,  else  I  would  have  made  better  pro- 
vision. Goaded  to  desperation  I  only  thought  of  escaping 
from  the  hateful  presence  of  priests  and  nuns,  and  with  five 
dollars  which  a  servant  girl  gave  me  in  Hudson  City  as  a  New 
Year's  gift,  I  fled  in  midwinter,  out  into  the  world,  without 
shelter,  without  protection ;  but  better  that  than  the  abode  of 
vipers  and  a  life  of  sin. 

I  knew  not  where  I  was  fleeing.  I  cared  not ;  O,  anywhere, 
anywhere  out  of  the  Convent !  I  asked  a  child  I  met  on  the 
street  to  accompany  me  to  some  depot,  and  I  found  myself  on 
board  of  a  train,  without  a  ticket,  without  even  knowing  the 
destination  of  the  train  until  the  conductor  told  me  Philadel- 
phia. Not  until  I  found  myself  in  room  91,  Continental  Hotel, 
Philadelphia,  where  my  name  is  registered  as  Sister  EditL 
Crafton,  not  daring  to  register  Sister  T.  De  Chantal  for  fear  of 
being  recaptured,  without  money  and  in  my  nun's  dress,  did  I 
fully  realize  my  true  position.     I  had  been  borne  up  durino- 


MY   ESCAPE.  113 

the  day  by  an  unnatural  state  of  excitement,  but  when  that  had 
passed  away  and  I  was  free  from  pursuit,  I  felt  to  the  full  ex- 
tent my  desolate,  destitute,  and  miserable  condition.  I  paced 
my  room  all  night ;  my  heart  seemed  rent  asunder  with  con- 
flicting reflections.  I  had  fled  the  Convent — by  one  step  had 
thrown  off  all  restraint  of  vows  and  vocation  which  had  chained 
me  for  so  many  suffering  years.  Oh,  fearful  reflection !  I  was 
by  so  doing  doomed  to  perdition.  Thus  it  appeared  then,  blind 
votary  that  I  was.  If  I  had  only  thrown  off  the  delusion  years 
before  I  would  have  been  spared  a  world  of  woe. 

I  remember  that  night,  the  31st  of  January,  1868,  was  the 
first  time  I  had  beheld  my  face  in  a  mirror  for  nearly  six  years, 
and  oh,  what  a  change  !  I  did  not  know  myself,  and  repeatedly 
asked  the  reflection  in  the  glass,  "  Is  that  Edith  O'Gorman  ? 
is  it  Sister  Teresa  de  Chantal,  or  who  is  it  ?  What  is  it  ?  Am 
I  crazy  or  dreaming,  living  or  dead  ?"  Having  been  buried  in 
the  Convent  so  long  I  knew  nothing  of  the  world,  especially 
such  a  world  as  I  found  myself  then  in,  without  money,  without 
shelter,  without  friends,  without  protection.  What  was  I  to  do  ? 
Where  could  I  go  ?  What  would  become  of  me  ?  But  He 
who  clothes  the  lily  of  the  valley  had  me  in  His  care,  and  He 
did  not  let  me  perish.  I  knelt  down  and  prayed ;  and  then 
the  thought  occurred  to  me  to  write  to  Bishop  Wood,  the  bishop 
of  Philadelphia  ;  I  did  so,  requesting  an  interview,  and  sent  the 
letter  to  him  in  the  morning  by  one  of  the  waiters.  In  the 
afternoon  I  saw  him,  and  under  the  seal  of  the  Confessional  (he 
could  not  take  any  step  to  have  me  sent  back  to  the  Convent 
from  any  knowledge  he  might  receive  through  the  Confessional 


114  MY    ESCAPE. 

without  breaking  his  auricular  oath,)  told  him  who  I  was,  and 
what  I  had  done.  Owing  to  the  fact  that  Bishop  Wood  had 
been  brought  up  a  Quaker  he  treated  me  kindly ;  and  he  tried 
"  to  persuade  me  to  go  back  to  the  Convent,  or  else  retire  into 
one  in  his  diocese.  I  refused  to  comply  with  his  request,  I 
would  try  to  save  my  soul  in  the  world,  but  on  no  condition 
would  I  immure  myself  again  in  a  Convent,  to  meet,  perhaps, 
a  repetition  of  such  wrongs  as  I  had  experienced. 

Bishop  Wood  gave  me  money  which  enabled  me  to  change 
the  nun's  dress  for  a  secular  garb ;  and  he  also  recommended 
me  to  go  to  confession  every  week  to  Rev.  Xavier  Schnuttgen, 
a  Redemptionist  father,  belonging  to  St.  Peter's  Monastery, 
corner  of  Fifth  Street  and  Girard  Avenue.  I  had  an  interview 
with  the  latter,  who  sent  me  to  board  in  a  private  French 
Catholic  family,  at  No.  1336  Coates  St.  Father  Schnuttgen 
told  me  never  to  tell  a  living  soul  that  I  had  ever  been  a  nun, 
on  account  of  the  scandal  it  would  bring  upon  the  church ;  he 
said  I  must  pass  for  a  "  widow."  I  told  him  "  I  could  not  do 
that  inasmuch  as  the  only  husband  I  ever  had  was  God,  and 
He  certainly  was  not  dead."  He  then  counseled  me  to  pass 
for  an  orphan,  which  I  could  more  readily  do,  as  no  orphan's 
fate  could  be  more  desolate ;  and  as  such  he  introduced  me, 
February  8th,  to  a  lady  from  Boston,  in  order  that  I  might 
give  her  instruction  in  the  Catholic  Decalogue,  as  she  was 
about  to  join  the  Catholic  Church. 

Oh,  what  a  school  for  prevarication,  and  deviation  from  the 
straight-forward  path  of  truth  and  virtue,  is  the  whole  system 
of  Catholicism !     How  grievously  lamentable  that  the  ground- 


MY    ESCAPE. 


115 


work  of  any  faith  should  be  so  unpropitkms  to  the  nourishment 
of  truth  and  virtue  !  A  priest,  by  his  vow  of  Celibacy,  cannot 
take  a  wife,  nor  lawfully  exercise  the  rite  of  a  parent,  but  he 
can  approach  a  virgin ;  can  pander  to  every  illicit  pleasure  ; 
can  unfeelingly  burden  the  world  with  his  miserable  offspring ; 
for,  is  not  the  door  of  penance  open  to  him  through  the  key- 
hole of  the  Confessional  ?  and  does  not  that  give  him  the  pass 
port  to  salvation?  The  world  is  injured  both  by  his  excesses 
and  abstemiousness.  If  he  keeps  his  vow,  it  may  be  suicidal  to 
health ;  if  he  breaks  it,  there  is  poured  from  the  sanctuaries  of 
the  church  one  of  the  most  demoralizing  streams  of  perdition — 
an  effluvium  sending  out  the  poison  of  death ! 

The  Romish  Church  teaches  that  God  has  ordained  celibacy 
as  the  very  acme  of  the  Cardinal  virtues  ;  but  who  can  recog- 
nize a  God  ordaining  any  law  to  deteriorate  the  race — to  de- 
stroy a  proper  sentiment  ?  even  when  one  is  a  most  suitable 
subject  for  celibacy,  how  is  it  with  another  having  the  natural 
amount  of  sympathy  for  all  that  is  physical  in  human  nature — 
with  warm  affections  rounding  into  passion,  what  is  his  fate  ?  It 
is  by  the  infamous  endeavor  to  feed  his  appetency  under  the 
hypocritical  garb  of  sanctity,  and  at  the  same  time  stand  un- 
blushingly  on  the  altar  before  the  tabernacle  of  God,  raising 
the  chalice  of  salvation  in  atonement  for  the  people  who  inno- 
cently trust  him — nay,  worship  him,  that  God  and  man  are 
disgraced  by  this  celibate's  deformity  of  soul,  of  mind,  and  of 
principle.  His  hypocrisy  may  be  a  life-time  augmenting  the 
cess-pools  of  the  Confessional,  and  in  thus  disburdening  his 


116 


MY    ESCAPE. 


guilty  conscience,  a  clique  of  men  become  copartners  in  his 
offence,  by  the  protection  their  auricular  oath  extends  to  him 
and  themselves. 

Ah !  if  the  secret  annals  of  priestly  archives  could  be  laid 
bare  to  the  world,  what  a  blotch  would  be  blazoned  on  the 
brow  of  Rome ! ! 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 


SICK    AMONG    STRANGERS. 


Three  weeks  after  I  left  the  convent  I  was  prostrated  on  & 
bed  of  sickness.  My  heart  had  been  so  oppressed  and  crushed 
by  its  terrible  weight  of  grief,  that  it  gave  way,  and  a  violent 
spasmodic  action  ensued,  accompanied  with  fever,  which  brought 
me  to  death's  door.  My  illness  continued  for  several  weeks, 
and,  dear  reader,  language  cannot  express  the  woe,  the  hope- 
less desolation  which  overwhelmed  me.  I  prayed  for  death ; 
prayed  that  I  might  lose  my  mind,  and  cease  to  be  sensible  to 
the  accumulation  of  sorrow  which  had  blighted  my  life.  Only 
twenty-five  years  of  age,  and  a  broken-hearted  fugitive,  thrown 
upon  the  cold  mercies  of  a  selfish  world.  I  was  sick,  and  as 
I  thought  dying  among  strangers,  without  a  hope  of  salvation, 
without  a  ray  of  heavenly  light.  O  God !  how  vain  appeared 
all  my  self-sacrifice  in  the  light  of  eternity  !  and  oh,  those  long 
years  of  suffering  were  all  lost !  So  much  penance  and  self- 
denial  !  My  life  a  dreary,  desolate  blank — no  certainty,  no 
hope  in  death — all  dark,  all  dark !  Where  then  was  my  heav- 
enly Spouse,  for  whom  I  died  to  the  world?     Where  all  the 

meritorious  works  I  had  done  ?     Did  they  comfort  me  then  ? 

Q17J 


118  SICK   AMONG    STRANGERS. 

Ah!  no.  In  the  clear  light  of  eternity  the  delusions  which 
had  so  long  clouded  my  mental  vision  were  dissipated.  What 
terrible  destiny  consigned  me,  as  I  then  thought,  to  die  among 
strangers,  far  from  my  home,  far  from  my  mother,  who  in  the 
hour  of  sickness  would  have  tenderly  hovered  near  me,  minis- 
tered to  my  wants,  and  soothed  my  dying  agony  ?  But  there 
was  no  mother  near  to  cradle  me  in  her  arms  ;  no  father's  pres- 
ence to  cheer  and  strengthen  me  ;  no  sister's  face  to  smile  upon 
me  ;  not  a  single  glimpse  of  the  dear  forms  that  gladdened  my 
once  happy  home.  And  then  beyond  the  tomb  I  had  no  hope, 
no  looking  to  the  merits  of  Christ,  to  the  atoning  blood  of  Cal- 
vary's sacrifice.  Oh,  what  inexpressible  terror,  dismay,  and 
darkness,  for  a  soul  entering  into  eternity  with  no  hope  in 
Christ,  no  hope  in  aught  save  goodself,  which  in  the  last  hour 
dwindles  away  into  the  meanest  insignificance  !  God  had  the 
keeping  of  my  immortal  soul,  and  in  His  infinite  mercy  he 
plucked  the  burning  brand,  and  snatched  my  soul  from  the 
yawning  gulf. 

One  day  I  awoke  again  to  life,  and  the  first  object  my  con- 
scious eyes  rested  upon,  was  Father  Walsh  standing  by  my 
bedside  weeping.  When  I  could  rally  strength  sufficient  I 
enquired  how  he  found  me,  and  why  he  dared  to  come  near 
me  ?  Mrs.  Willt,  the  lady  with  whom  I  boarded,  discovered 
from  my  feverish  ravings  that  there  was  a  Father  Walsh  in 
Hudson  City,  whom  I  spoke  about,  and  fearing  that  I  might 
die,  had  telegraphed  to  him  that  I  was  dying,  and  he  had  come 
to  behold  her  whom  he  had  caused  to  fly  from  a  convent  and 
take  refuge  among  strangers,  and  his  heart  was  saddened  to 


SICK    AMONG    STRANGERS.  119 

see  my  misery.  He  said  he  also  had  suffered,  when  he  learned 
that  I  ran  away  from  the  convent  without  leaving  a  clue  to  my 
whereabouts,  and  he  supposed  I  had  committed  self-destruc- 
tion, until  three  months  after  my  flight  he  had  received  the  tele- 
gram from  Mrs.  Willt.  I  will  do  this  man  justice  when  I  say 
that  he  never  acted  other  than  in  the  most  tender,  chaste,  and 
respectful  manner  afterward,  never  ceasing  to  deplore  his  at- 
tempted wrong  to  me — and  I  forgave  him. 

In  order  that  no  suspicion  might .  rest  upon  him  as  a  priest, 
he  passed  for  my  uncle.  He  engaged  Dr.  Shurtz  to  attend  me, 
and  every  attention  that  money  could  bestow  I  received.  And 
then  I  learned  that  he  had  a  sister  in  Philadelphia,  a  widow 
lady  named  Mrs.  Margaret  Sullivan,  who  in  comfortable  cir- 
cumstances resided  in  South  Sixteenth  St.  I  think  her  num- 
ber is  967  ;  however,  her  residence  was  four  or  five  doors  from 
the  corner  of  Carpenter  Street.  During  my  convalesence2 
Father  Walsh  came  from  Hudson  City  to  see  me  twice  a  week, 
always  returning  the  same  day,  and  when  I  was  sufficiently 
recovered  he  introduced  me  to  his  sister,  Mrs.  Sullivan,  who 
treated  me  with  great  kindness.  When  my  strength  permitted, 
I  again  went  to  confession  to  Father  Schnuttgen,  where  a  cir- 
cumstance occurred  which  prevented  me  from  going  to  that 
Monastery  again.  A  large  fleshy  German  brother  opened 
the  Monastery  door  in  response  to  my  summons.  I  asked  to 
see  Father  Schnuttgen.  The  brother  told  me  he  was  engaged 
giving  instruction  to  a  lady  in  one  of  the  parlors.  There  are 
in  that  Monastery  four  parlors  or  reception  rooms,  arranged 
two  on  each  side  of  the  hall,  and  at  the  end  of  the  hall  is  the 
6- 


120  SICK    AMONG    STRANGERS. 

grated  entrance  to  the  Monks'  inclosure,  and  no  secular  is 
allowed  to  cross  its  threshold.  The  brother  conducted  me  into 
a  reception  room,  on  the  left-hand  side  of  the  entrance  from  the 
street,  telling  me  Father  Schnuttgen  would  see  me  when  dis- 
engaged.    The  brother,  instead   of  retiring  then,  remained  to 


o"o 


converse  with  me,  remarking  he  had  not  seen  me  in  several 
weeks,  and  inquired  if  I  had  been  ill,  because  1  looked  pale. 
I  told  him  I  came  near  dying,  and  requested  him  to  pray  for 
me,  because  I  was  afraid  I  had  lost  my  vocation,  and  could  not 
be  saved.  He  replied,  "  0  yes !  you  will  go  to  heaven,  you 
are  so  good,  so  nice !"  he  then  came  near  me,  and  before  I  was 
aware  of  his  intention,  stooped  down  and  tried  to  kiss  me,  at 
which  I  screamed  and  ran  out  in  the  hall.  Father  Schnuttgen 
hearing  the  scream  came  out  into  the  hall,  and  asked,  ''  What 
is  the  matter?"  I  responded  indignantly,  pointing  to  the 
brother  who  stood  in  the  parlor  door,  "  Ask  that  brother !" 
Father  Schnuttgen  took  me  into  the  confessional,  and  in  the 
sternest  manner  rebuked  me.  He  said  I  was  too  particular, 
and  that  the  brother  meant  no  harm,  and  that  I  had  sinned 
grievously  by  screaming,  thereby  bringing  scandal  into  the 
Monastery.  With  an  audacity  that  alarmed  me,  I  told  him  I 
believed  priests  were  all  bad,  and  all  they  cared  for  was  not  to 
be  discovered.  I  left  the  confessional  without  waiting  for  his 
absolution,  and  turned  my  back  on  that  Monastery  forever. 
This  happened  in  May,  18G8. 

Father  Walsh  wished  me  to  leave  Coates  street,  and  reside 
with  his  sister,  where  he  could  see  me  often.  I  declined  to 
leave  Mrs.  Willt.     He  then  said,  "  sister,  you  have  left  the  con- 


SICK    AMONG    STRANGERS.  121 

vent,  and  are  now  free ;  come  with  me  to  where  we  are  not 
known,  I  will  then  throw  off  the  priesthood,  and  become  a 
Professor.  We  can  get  married  by  a  Protestant  minister,  and 
in  a  life-long  love  and  devotion,  I  will  repair  the  fearful  suffer- 
ing I  have  occasioned  you."  I  told  him  that  although  I  had 
left  the  convent  and  had  discovered  the  hypocrisy  of  priests, 
nevertheless  I  could  not  cease  to  be  a  Catholic,  and  as  such  I 
could  not  look  upon  a  Protestant  marriage,  especially  to  an 
anointed  priest,  in  any  other  lighfe  than  as  degradation ;  and  as 
nothing  can  justify  a  woman  in  becoming  that  most  wretched 
of  all  beings,  I  would  rather  live  and  die  a  fugitive.  I  would 
rather  submit  to  starvation  than  ever  lead  a  life  of  debasement. 
I  told  him  to  drive  such  thoughts  from  his  mind  forever,  be- 
cause I  had  taken  a  resolution  to  go  far  away  where  he  could 
never  see  me  again  on  earth,  a  step  designed  for  both  his  sal- 
vation and  mine;  that  I  had  a  cousin  who  was  Lady  Abbess 
of  a  Presentation  Nunnery  in  Killarney,  Ireland,  and  I  would 
go  to  her  if  he  would  supply  me  with  the  means,  and  if  he 
truly  loved  me  he  would  not  refuse."  I  advised  him  at  the 
same  time  to  "  shut  himself  up  in  an  austere  Monastery  where 
he  could  never  see  a  woman,  and  there  do  penance  for  his 
great  sin ;  and  in  thus  living  to  God  arid  religion  we  would 
finally  meet  in  heaven,  never  more  to  be  parted."  He  unwil- 
lingly gave  his  consent  to  this  proposition,  and  I  made  prepar- 
ations to  go  to  Ireland,  and  on  the  10th  of  June,  in  compli- 
ance with  Father  Walsh's  request,  I  sent  a  telegram  to  Bessie 
Murray,  his  housekeeper,  telling  her  to  meet  me  in  the  Jersey 
City  Depot  at  5  p.m.  of  that  day.     She  did,  and  at  the  request 


122  SICK   AMONG    STRANGERS. 

of  Father  "Walsh,  took  me  to  the  Pacific  House,  in  Greenwich 
Street,  New  York.  Mrs.  Keogh,  the  housekeeper  in  that  hotel, 
was  an  acquaintance  of  Father  Walsh,  and  he  called  to  see  me 
the  next  day,  introducing  me  to  her  as  his  sister  from  Phila- 
delphia. I  told  Father  Walsh  that  I  could  not  go  to  Ireland 
without  seeing  my  parents  once  again,  but  I  would  never  tell 
them  anything  I  had  suffered.  If  they  were  ignorant  of  my 
iinhappiness,  I  would  never  undeceive  them.  Having  request- 
ed him  to  engage  my  passage  to  Ireland,  I  took  the  Stoning- 
ton  boat  for  home  on  the   evening  of  the  11th  of  June,  18G8. 

Words  cannot  describe  my  feelings  upon  beholding  again 
that  home  to  which  six  years  before  I  had  bade  farewell  as  I 
thought  forever.  Neither  can  I  paint  the  scene  that  took  place 
in  that  home  at  my  return.  After  long  suffering,  years  of  sep- 
aration, I  was  once  more  clasped  in  my  darling  Mother's  arms  ; 
and  my  dear  father  pressed  to  his  heart  his  long  absent,  and  as 
he  thought,  lost  (to  earth)  daughter.  I  cannot  speak  of  that 
meetmg  !  Six  years  before  I  had  left  that  home  in  all  the  hap- 
piness, brightness,  hopefulness,  trustfulness,  and  innocence  of 
my  girlhood,  only  to  return  from  the  sanctuary  of  the  convent, 
with  happiness  wrecked,  life  blighted,  heart  crushed,  trust  be- 
trayed, hope  fled,  but,'  thank  God,  innocence  preserved.  With 
that  prevarication  which  I  had  learned  in  the  convent,  I  hid 
everything  from  my  parents.  My  conscience  as  a  Catholic; 
forbade  me  to  make  any  disclosure  which  would  bring  scandal 
on  priests  or  religious. 

My  parents  were  staunch  Catholics,  and  would  not  believe, 
even  from  my  own  lips,  the  awful  truth.     They  were  consoled 


SICK    AMONG    STRANGERS.  123 

by  the  thought  that  I  was  content  with  convent  life — and  I 
would  noi  undeceive  them ;  moreover  as  Catholics,  with  all 
their  affection  for  me,  they  would  rather  see  me  dead  than  have 
me  abandon  a  vocation  to  which  they  thought  I  had  been  spec- 
ially called  by  God.  Whatever  fears  they  entertained  I  dis- 
armed, by  telling  them  that,  in  order  to  acquire  greater  sanc- 
tity, I  had  permission  to  retire  into  a  more  austere  and  seclud- 
ed convent,  and  having  obtained  the  consent  of  superiors,  I 
had  come  to  see  them  before  I  cut  off  every  avenue  of  further 
communication  with  them ;  and  then  I  left  them. 

I  will  not  attempt  to  portray  that  parting.  Ah,  my  parents  ! 
why  did  you  suffer  me  to  leave  the  protection  of  your  home, 
to  be  tossed  about  in  a  sea  of  misery,  of  persecution,  of  defa- 
mition,  of  calumny,  and  of  slander?  But  who  could  foresee 
the  dangers,  the  snares  and  pitfalls,  which  were  set  for  my  de- 
struction, or  who  conceive  the  desolation,  destitution,  and  hard- 
ships which  awaited  me  ?  After  I  parted  from  home  1  went 
to  Boston  to  see  my  sister  Gertrude.  I  learned  from  her  that 
after  she  had  received  the  letter  which  brother  John  had  writ- 
ten home  about  me,  she  started  on  the  17th  of  March,  1868, 
to  see  me.  She  called  at  St.  Joseph's  Convent,  Hudson  City, 
and  inquired  for  Sister  Teresa  de  Chantal.  Sister  Aloysius 
told  her  she  could  not  see  me,  because  I  was  at  the  mother- 
house  in  Madison,  and  moreover,  it  being  the  season  of  Lent, 
sisters  were  forbidden  to  see  their  friends.  My  sister  replied 
she  would  go  to  Madison,  and  demand  to  see  me,  as  she  was 
determined  not  to  go  back  without  an  interview.  Sister 
Aloysius  became  alarmed  at  this  expression  of  perseverance, 
and  finally  told  her  that  it  was  impossible  for  her  to  see  me, 


124  SICK    AMONG    STRANGERS. 

because  six  weeks  before  I  ran  away  in  the  nun's  dress,  and 
they  had  not  the  slightest  clue  to  my  fate.  My  sister  was 
amazed  at  the  untruthfulness  of  Sister  Aloysius,  and  she  turned 
from  the  convent  with  a  sickening  horror  creeping  into  her  very 

soul. 

Although  from  conviction  Gertrude  had  ceased  to  be  a  com- 
municant in  the  Catholic  Church,  she  yet  thought  convents 
were  the  abode  of  holy  women  who  would  not  stoop  to  false- 
hood. Almost  stupefied  by  what  she  had  heard,  she  could  not 
go  to  her  home  and  tell  her  parents  that  the  daughter  who  had 
"  chosen  the  better  part,"  was  not  in  the  convent,  and  no  clue 
to  her  whereabouts  existed — therefore  she  returned  to  Boston 
without  letting  my  parents  know  anything  about  my  disappear- 
ance. She  suffered  alone !  I  felt  that  I  could  not  entirely 
deceive  Gertrude,  so  I  told  her  I  had  run  away  from  the  con- 
vent to  escape  a  priest  who  wTas  tormenting  me  with  professions 
of  love ;  but  I  did  not  breathe  to  her  the  crime  he  attempted. 
I  told  her  I  was  going  to  Killarney  to  enter  the  convent  with 
my  cousin — and  thus  I  parted  with  her. 

The  managers  of  the  convent  did  not  dare  to  advertise  for 
me  lest  it  should  lead  to  discoveries  which  would  bring  scandal 
on  their  community.  No  effort  being  made  to  clear  up  the 
mystery,  a  suspicious  silence  was  left  hanging  over  it  all — but 
the  Lord  of  the  Universe  has  said,  "  There  is  nothing  hidden 
that  shall  not  be  revealed."  They  who  are  chief  ministers  in 
such  wickedness  will  yet  be  divested  of  their  borrowed  plumes ; 
and  the  rottenness  and  corruption  of  their  system,  that  whited 
sepulchre  !  shall  become  a  spectacle  to  angels  and  to  men. 


CHAPTER   XIX. 

MY   VOYAGE    TO    IRELAND. 

From  Boston  I  wrote  to  Bessie  Murray,  who  met  me  on  the 

morning  of  the   10th  of  July,  and   took  me  to  the   Stevens 

House,  in  Broadway,  telling  me  Father  Walsh  had  made  every 

arrangement  for  my  departure  on  Saturday,  the  day  following. 

Father  Walsh  called  at  the   Stevens   House,  Friday  noon,  I 

saw  him  in  the  ladies'  parlor,  for  about  one  hour ;  he  was  very 

sad,  and  suffering  from  neuralgia  in  the  face*     He  told  me  Dr. 

Hays,  Sr.,  of  Hudson  City,  was  going  to  Ireland  on  a  visit, 

and  that  he  had  placed  me  under  his  protection  in  the  Steamer 

Hibernia,  of  the  Anchor  Line.     He  then  left  me,  saying  he 

would  be  over  in  the  morning  with  my  ticket  and  the  check 

for  my  baggage.     On  Saturday  morning  Bessie  Murray  called 

and  informed  me  that  Father  Walsh  was  very  sick,  and  it  was 

quite  impossible  for  him  to  go  out  in  the  morning,  but  that  he 

would  accompany  Dr.  Hays  on  the  tugboat  in  the  afternoon, 

and  meet  me  on  the  steamer.     Father  Walsh  had  given  Bessie 

$100  to  purchase  a  first  cabin  ticket  in  the  Hibernia,  but  she, 

impelled  by  a  spirit  of  malice,  for  which  I  could  never  account, 

purchased  a  steerage  ticket  in  the    City  of  Baltimore,  of  the 

Inman  line. 

(125) 


126  MY    VOYAGE    TO    IRELAND. 

Without  suspecting  any  foul  play,  I  accompanied  Bessie,  who 
instead  of  taking  me  on  board  the  Hibernia  at  Pier  20,  North 
river,  took  me  to  Pier  45,  and  hurried  me  on  board  the  City 
of  Baltimore,  assuring  me  that  Father  Walsh  would  come  in 
the  tugboat  at  twelve  o'clock,  in  company  with  Dr.  Hays.  Not 
until  the  steamer  anchored  at  quarantine  to  wait  for  the  tug- 
boat, which  was  to  bring  the  mail  and  some  cabin  passengers, 
did  I  discover  the  fraud  that  woman  had  practiced  upon  me. 
She  had  hurried  me  away  from  the  hotel  without  a  breakfast, 
and  not  having  partaken  of  much  food  since  I  left  Boston,  the 
sea  air  had  sharpened  my  appetite,  and  I  felt  weak  with 
hunger. 

From  the  time  I  went  on  board  the  steamer  I  sat  on  the 
cabin  deck  alone  and  desolate.  I  was  attired  in  the  deepest 
mourning,  a  long  crape  veil  concealing  my  face  from  the  many 
curious  glances  directed  toward  me.  I  had  noticed  two  priests 
on  board  who  watched  me  closely.  Finally  one  of  them  drew 
near  and  thus  accosted  me :  "  Sister  V  At  the  word  sister  I 
gave  an  involuntary  start  of  surprise.  The  priest,  noticing  my 
confusion,  laughed  and  said,  "  I  knew  by  your  appearance  you 
were  a  sister  in  disguise,  although  the  Bishop  whom  you  see 
over  thene  wrould  have  it  that  you  were  a  widow ! ,: 

He  sat  down  beside  me,  and  I  told  him  I  had  run  away 
from  the  convent. 

This  priest  introduced  himself  to  me  as  Father  Flannery  of 
New  London,  Canada,  and  told  me  he  was  going  on  a  visit  to 
his  friends  in  Ireland,  in  company  with  his  Bishop.     He  then 


MY    VOYAGE    TO    IRELAND.  127 

gave  me  an  introduction  to  Bishop  Walsh  of  New  London, 
Canada. 

I  finally  became  so  faint  that  I  went  down  to  the  ladies' 
saloon  to  have   some   lunch.     The    Stewardess,  a  lar^e   coarse 
looking  Irish  woman,  came  in,  and  before  she  gave  me  anything 
to  eat,  asked  to  see  the  number  of  my  berth.     I  handed  her 
my  ticket,  not  dreaming  that  it  was   a  steerage  passage,  when 
she  looked  at  the  ticket,  she  almost  kicked  me  out  of  the  saloon, 
at  the  same   time   calling,  "  James,  take    this   woman  to   the 
steerage."      "James"  came  and  conducted  me  down  a  dark 
hole  where  there  were  assembled  a  number  of  dirty  men,  dirty 
women,  and  dirty  children,  with  any  amount  of  dirty  mattresses, 
tin  cups  and  kettles.     And  what  did  it  all  mean  ?     I  could  not 
understand  why  I  should   be  thrust  down   a   steerage,  without 
even  a  dirty  mattress  or  tin  cup  necessary  to  the   passage.     I 
ran  away  in  spite  of  "  James,"  and  made  my  way  back  to  the 
cabin  deck.     I  told   Father  Flannery  the  unaccountable  treat- 
ment I  had  received,  showing  him  my  ticket.     He   informed 
me  that  the   Steamer  Hibernia  had  just  passed  us,  and  then 
went  with  me  to  the  ladies'  saloon,  and  made   the  stewardess 
give  me  some  lunch.     After  conversing  some  time  with  Bishop 
Walsh,  he  advised  me  to  go  back  on  the  tugboat  if  Father 
Walsh  should  not  come.     The  tugboat  came,  but  no  Father 
Walsh.     Father   Flannery  accompanied   me  on  board  the  tug- 
boat, and  I  noticed   two  more  priests  among  the  cabin  passen- 
gers who  went  on  board  the  Steamer.     One  of  them  I  recog- 
nized as  Father  McKenna,  of  New  York  City,  but  being  deeply 
veiled  he  did  not  recognize  me.     When  I  arrived  in  New  York 


128  MY    VOYAGE    TO    IRELAND. 

I  went  back  to  the  Stevens  House,  and  wrote  a  letter  to 
Father  Walsh  demanding  an  explanation  of  the  events  of  the 
day.  He  came  to  the  hotel  Monday  morning,  the  loth  of  July, 
and  I  saw  him  in  the  parlor ;  he  said  that  Bessie  had  made  a 
mistake,  and  secured  a  ticket  for  me  on  the  wrong  boat ;  that 
the  cabin  passage  in  the  Inman  line  was  more  expensive  than 
the  Anchor  line,  and  she  not  having  money  enough,  had  pur- 
chased a  steerage  ticket.  He  said  further,  that  it  had  caused 
him  a  great  deal  of  pain  and  trouble,  and  he  had  sent  a  large 
sum  of  money  in  gold  by  Rev.  Father  McKenna,  of  New 
York,  for  me,  on  the  City  of  Baltimore,  as  Bessie  had  told  him 
the  name  of  the  steamer,  and  that  he  had  also  tried  to  go  on 
board  the  tugboat,  but  was  prohibited  because  he  had  no  pass. 

Bessie  Murray  told  me  herself  afterward,  that  she  had  put 
me  on  the  wrong  boat  purjiosely,  because  she  was  afraid  I 
would  tell  Dr.  Hays  about  Father  Walsh,  and  she  would 
"  rather  put  her  soul  in  hell  than  suffer  any  harm  to  come  to 
poor  dear  Father  Walsh,  because  she  loved  him."  I  was  anx- 
ious to  depart  in  the  first  steamer  that  sailed,  therefore  on 
Tuesday  afternoon,  Father  Walsh  came  to  the  hotel  and  gave 
me  a  cabin  ticket  in  the  steamer  Propontis,  of  Tapscott  and 
Brothers,  Pier  45  East  River.  He  promised  to  meet  me  on 
board  the  steamer,  (which  sailed  at  two  p.  m.)  at  twelve  o'clock, 
and  give  me  some  money  in  gold.  I  had  lost  my  baggage,  as 
it  had  been  sent  on  board  the  Hibernia,  and  I  was  quite  desti- 
tute, but  Father  Walsh  said  he  would  send  Bessie  to  purchase 
me  a  trunk,  and  some  garments  ready  made,  and  send  them  on 
board  the  Propontis. 


MY    VOYAGE    TO    IRELAND.  129 

On  Wednesday,  the  15th  of  July,  18G8,  at  ten  A.  m.,  I  left 
the  hotel  in  a  carriage,  and  went  on  board  the  Propontis. 
About  one  half  hour  after  I  embarked,  the  vessel  sailed.  Oh, 
the  indescribable  despair  of  that  moment !  The  ship  was  sailing, 
and  I  had  no  money,  no  clothes,  nothing !  In  my  wild  grief  I 
ran  to  the  first  man  I  met,  who  happened  to  be  the  chief  stew- 
ard, and  asked  him  if  he  would  not  "  please  to  stop  the  steamer, 
or  else  send  me  ashore  in  a  boat  ?"  Captain  Higginson  tried 
to  console  me,  assuring  me  that  my  "  friend  "  would  send  the 
money  to  the  office  of  the  company  in  Liverpool,  England,  and 
I  would  get  it  as  soon  as  I  arrived.  He  was  sorry  the  boat 
sailed  before  the  appointed  hour,  but  it  could  not  be  avoided,  etc. 
The  captain  introduced  me  to  the  only  lady  cabin  passenger  on 
board,  Mrs.  Captain  Burnell.  I  went  down  into  my  stateroom, 
where  I  was  detained  by  sea-sickness  and  physical  prostration 
for  thirteen  long  dreary  days  and  nights.  I  believe  I  should 
have  died  on  that  vova^e  were  it  not  for  the  kind  care  of  the 
chief  steward,  William  Matthias.  God  bless  him !  he  was 
indeed  the  good  Samaritan  of  the  vessel  to  me.  Out  on  the 
wide  ocean  without  a  friend  or  home.  Oh,  the  terrible  anguish 
of  a  soul,  all,  all  alone  I 


CHAPTER  XX. 

ALONE  IN  A  FOREIGN  LAND:  MY  RETURN. 

On  the   28th  of  July  the  steamer  Propontis  sailed  into  the 
docks  of  Liverpool,  England.     The  passengers  left  the  ship,  but 
I  remained  on  board  alone.     I  had  no  other  shelter.     I  was 
again  cast,  a  poor  waif  of  humanity,  on  the  mercy  of  strangers. 
What  was  I  to  do  ?     Where  to  go  ?     Oh,  intolerable  questions  ! 
I  had  no  money,  not  even  a  change  of  linen,  and  the  wide 
ocean  stretched  between  me  and  my  few  friends.     There  was 
no  help  for  it.     Cold  charity  must  be  entreated,  reluctant  sym- 
pathy importuned,  and  perhaps  countless  repulses   incurred, 
before  my  tale  of  woe  would  be  listened  to,  or  one  of  my  wants 
relieved.     Gentle  reader,  may  you  never  feel  what  I  then  felt ! 
may  your  eyes  never   shed  such  scalding,  heart-wrung  tears ! 
may  you  never  appeal  to  Heaven  in  prayers  so  hopeless  and 
agonized,  as  then  left  my  lips !     Never  may  you  experience 
such  poignant  grief,  such  a  forlorn  abandonment,  which,  in  that 
foreign  land,  overwhelmed  me. 

The  chief  steward  was  the  only  person  who  partly  understood 
my  forlorn  condition,  and  he  was  a  poor  man  with  a  wife  and 
tour  children  depending  on  him.     To  him  I  made  known  my 

(130) 


ALONE  IN  A  FOREIGN  LAND.  131 

intentions.  I  really  did  not  wish  to  go  to  Ireland,  for  the  walls 
of  the  nunnery  loomed  up  before  my  mental  vision  like  a  living 
tomb.  I  was  filled  with  only  one  thought,  one  desire,  and  that 
was  to  return  to  my  home  and— die.  Mr.  Matthias  appealed 
in  my  behalf  to  the  captain,  who  kindly  promised  to  take  me 
back  to  Boston,  as  he  expected  to  sail  for  America  on  the  11th 
of  August.  However,  in  a  few  days  Capt.  Higginson  received 
orders  to  sail  into  the  Mediterranean  Sea,  thus  dashing  my  new 
found  hope  to  earth.  I  told  Mr.  Matthias  I  would  make  known 
the  circumstances  of  my  abject  condition  to  Bishop  Goss,  the 
Catholic  prelate  of  Liverpool.  Accordingly  Mr.  Matthias  fur- 
nished me  with  a  carriage  and  I  proceeded  to  the  palatial  resi- 
dence of  Bishop  Goss,  where  I  was  informed  by  the  gate-keeper 
that  the  worthy  Bishop  was  spending  the  summer  months  in 
the  Isle  of  Man,  the  fashionable  resort  of  the  elite,  and  that 
Rev.  Dr.  Porter,  president  of  the  Jesuit  College,  would  supply 
the  bishop's  place  during  his  absence.  To  Dr.  Porter  I  then 
proceeded,  and  was  favored  with  an  interview.  I  made  known 
to  him  my  errand ;  he  refused  to  give  me  money  for  my  passage 
either  to  Ireland  or  America,  but  entreated  me  to  remain  in 
Liverpool  and  reside  in  one  of  his  Convents.  To  this  I  partly 
consented  as  it  seemed  the  only  remedy  left.  "  Beggars  can- 
not be  choosers,"  and  some  shelter  would  be  afforded  me  in 
this  way^  at  least. 

I  returned  to  the  ship  and  told  the  chief  steward  the  decision 
I  had  almost  made.  Mr.  Matthias  was  a  good  Presbyterian, 
and  rather  than  permit  me  to  do  what  he  considered  such  a 
wicked  thing  as  condemn  myself   again  to  a  convent  prison,  of' 


132  ALONE    IN    A    FOREIGN    LAND. 

fered  to  pay  my  passage  back  to  my  friends  if  I  would  accept 

a  steerage  berth.    He  said,  if  he  could  afford  it,  he  would  gladly 

send  me  back  in  the  cabin.     From  my  inmost  heart  I  thanked 

that  good  Christian  man,  and  gladly  accepted  the  steerage  ticket 

which  he  secured  for  me  in   the   steamship  Siberia,  of  the  Cu- 

nard  line,  and  he  also  replenished  my  wardrobe,  which,  as  the 

reader  already  knows,  was  sadly  deficient.     William  Matthias 

was  actuated  by  a  purely  humane  and  charitable  motive ;  he 

said  that  he  never  in  his  life  had  witnessed  such  suffering  as 

mine  in  that  voyage  from  New  York  to-  Liverpool,  and  his 

tender  heart  pitied  me.      He  will  meet  his  reward  from  Him 

who  has  promised  to  reward  for  even  a  "cup  of  cold  water" 

given  in  His  name. 

On  the  12th  of  August,  1868,  I  embarked  in  the  Siberia  and 
turned  my  face  toward  home.     While  the  ship  wras  in  Queens- 
town  harbor  I  noticed  a  priest  enter  the  steerage  passage.     I 
knew  him  to  be  a  priest  by  his  hypocritical  and  down-looking 
countenance.     No  matter  under  what  garments  priests  appear 
they  have  a  look  peculiar  to  themselves.     He  also  recognized 
me  as  a  nun,  because  convent  life  imprints  upon  the  human 
face  a  peculiar  expression  which  years  are  required  to  eradicate. 
He  was  in  a  state  of  constant  intoxication,  and  one  day  he  in- 
troduced himself  to  me  as  Rev.  Father  Owens,  and  in  the  course 
of  conversation  confessed  that  he  had  been  suspended  in  Ire- 
land, "  because  he  had  a  great  weakness  for  whisky  and  women." 
He  showed  me  a  letter  from  his  Bishop,  recommending  him  to 
a  Bishop  in  America,  where  his  propensities  were  not  known, 
and  he  expected  to  get  a  church  there. 


MY    RETURN. 


133 


We  were  out  three  days  from  Queenstown  when  a  fearful 
storm  arose  and  lasted   nearly  three  days.     Who  can  describe 
the  terror  of  a   storm  at  sea  ? — the  wild   panic,  the  fearful  de- 
spair of  hundreds  of  human  souls  expecting  every  moment  to 
be  launched  into  eternity  ?     On  the  16th  of  August,  near  mid- 
night, we  were  precipitated  from  our  berths  into  floods  of  water, 
the  hatchways  were  open  and  the  water  poured  into  the  steer- 
age, drenching  us  through ;  and  then   the   piercing  shrieks,  the 
wild  confusion,  the  German  clatter,  the  Irish  wail,  the  cries  of 
children,  the  shouting  of  the  sailors,  the  roar  of  the  angry  wa- 
ters, made  up  a  scene  which  no  human  pen  could  adequately 
paint ;  and  yet  I  never  felt  so  calm.     I  had  no  fear  of  death.     I 
made  one  fervent   act  of  contrition  to  God  and  calmly  prayed 
for  death.     But  this  was  not  to  be.     The   storm  abated,  and 
the  steerage,  with  its  hundreds   of  human  souls,  presented  a 
most  wretched,  miserable,  and  filthy  aspect.     I  could  not  par- 
take of  the  coarse  fare  furnished   there,  and  I  know  not  what 
would  have  become  of  me  if  I  had  been  compelled  to  remain  in 
that  steerage  eight  days  more.     Again  God  raised  up  a  friend 
for  me  in  Rev.  Mr.  Green,   a  missionary,  who  was   returning 
with  his  wife  and  four  little  children  from  a  nine  years'  sojourn 
in  Turkey  to  his  home  in  Portland,  Maine.     This  gentleman 
was  attracted  toward  me,  and  thus  addressed  me :  "  Madam, 
your  refined  and  delicate  appearance  indicate  that  you  are  not 
accustomed  to  the  hardships  of  the  steerage.     I  feel  that  some 
reverse  of  circumstances  has  placed  you  there.     I  will  speak  to 
the  captain,  and  if  he  will  permit,  I  will  take  you  into  the  cabin 
in  order  that  you  may  assist  my  wife,  who  is  now  suffering  from 


134  MY    RETURN. 

sea-sickness,  in  the  care  of  her  little  ones."     And  thus  I  passed 
the  remainder  of  the  voyage  in  the  first  cabin. 

The  Siberia  sailed  into  Boston.  Mr.  Reade,  the  quarter- 
master, who  had  been  very  kind  to  me,  assisted  me  ashore, 
placed  me  in  a  carriage  and  I  drove  to  my  sister's  house,  after  an 
absence  of  six  weeks.  I  answered  to  my  sister's  inquiries  by 
pouring  into  her  ears  the  harrowing  details  of  all  my  wrongs, 
trials,  and  hardships,  which  I  thought  she  would  keep  secret  in 
her  own  heart,  and,  with  a  true  woman's  sympathy,  shield  me 
from  renewed  sufferings.  But  I  had  not  yet  drained  to  the 
dregs  the  bitter  chalice ;  only  through  the  crucible  of  renewed 
suffering  could  I  be  thoroughly  purified  from  the  dross  of  Ro- 
manism. 


cKj^t*^  j <^?r,.  ^t^gr^^ 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

It  is  painful  for  me  to  make  the  remark  that  Gertrude  was 
not  a  Christian.  Her  own  words,  "  I  hate  Catholics  and  de- 
test Protestants,  I  hate,  abhor,  detest  the  whole  of  God  and 
man  !"  will  convey  to  my  readers  her  sentiments,  and  the 
bitterness  of  her  heart  against  all  created  things,  therefore  she 
was  the  last  one  to  whom  I  should  have  confided  my  sorrows. 
A  few  days  after  my  arrival  she  left  me  at  her  house  in  Boston, 
and  went  home,  bearing  the  trail  of  the  serpent  into  that  para- 
dise where  there  had  been  but  peace  heretofore,  and  my  father 
in  his  anger  forbids  my  name  to  be  mentioned  in  his  house. 
After  this  home  visit,  Gertrude  went  to  Hudson  City,  and  on 
the  25th  of  August,  1868,  confronted  Father  Walsh  in  his 
own  parlor,  and  wrung  from  him  a  confession  of  his  attempted 
crime.  He  expressed  his  deep  repentance,  told  her  he  was 
going  to  join  the  order  of  Dominicans,  and  had  already  made 
arrangements  to  enter  St.  Rose's  Monastery  in  Springfield, 
Kentucky.  Gertrude  told  Father  Walsh  I  was  in  Boston, 
although  I  never  intended  he  should  know  anything  about  my 

fate.     She  gave  him  one  week  to  betake  himself  out  of  the 

(135) 


13G  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

country,  and  proceeding  to  Providence,  R.  L,  there  called  on 
Bishop  McFarland,  and  laid  the  case  before  him.  He  told 
her  that  Mother  Xavier  had  written  to  him  at  the  time  of  my 
flight,  and  in  that  letter  stated  that  I  had  given  entire  satisfac- 
tion up  to  the  time  of  my  disappearance,  but  that  a  few  days 
before  I  left  the  convent,  I  had  "  manifested  symptoms  of  in- 
sanity." At  the  same  time  she  requested  Bishop  McFarland 
to  make  inquiries  if  I  had  gone  to  my  home.  Bishop  McFar- 
land took  notes  of  my  sister's  charges,  and  sent  them  to  Bishop 
Bayley,  of  Newark,  with  an  order  to  suspend  Father  Walsh 
from  his  priesthood.  Gertrude  then  returned  to  Boston,  but  I 
was  entirely  ignorant  of  her  movements.  She  went  to  the 
office  of  Starkweather  &  Sheldon,  criminal  lawyers,  at  33 
School  St.,  Boston,  and  engaged  their  services  in  a  suit  against 
Father  Walsh,  having  the  writ  made  out  in  my  name  and  with- 
out my  consent. 

On  September  7th,  she  went  in  search  of  the  defendant, 
and  failing  to  find  him  in  Hudson  City,  she  went  to  Father 
Corrigan,  in  Jersey  City,  who  gave  her  the  address  of  Father 
Walsh  at  Mount  Holly,  Burlington,  N.  J.,  where  he  wTas  stop- 
ping a  few  days  with  Father  McGahann,  preparatory  to  going 
Wost.  Gertrude  told  Father  Corrigan  that  she  heard  Father 
Walsh  was  about  to  become  a  Monk,  but  she  wished  to  see 
him  before  he  went  away,  as  she  owed  him  a  debt  which  she 
Wished  to  pay.  Father  Corrigan  replied  that  every  one  re- 
gretted the  loss  of  Father  Walsh,  as  he  was  such  an  eminent 
priest  in  holiness ;  in  fact  that  was  the  cause  of  his  retiring 


THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH.  137 

into  a  Monastery,  his  nature  being  too  "Angelic"  to  be  tainted 
by  the  breath  of  this  "  impure  world." 

Gertrude  took  the  train  to  Burlington,  and  arrived  at  Mount 
Holly  on  the  evening  of  the  8th.  She  found  Father  Walsh, 
and  made  arrangements  to  meet  him  on  the  Wednesday  follow- 
ing in  Boston,  telling  him  I  was   ill,  and  wished   to   see  him. 

Father  Walsh,  never  suspecting  her  true  motive,  promised  her 

i 
ihat  if  nothing  happened  in  the  interim  he  would  be  in  Boston 

pn    the    day    appointed.     Owing  to   circumstances   which   he 

could   not  control,  he   failed   to  arrive.     She  again  set  out  in 

quest  of  the   delinquent,  and   succeeded  in  finding  him   at  his 

Sister's,  Mrs.  Sullivan,  South   lGth  Street,  Philadelphia.     She 

appointed  a  meeting  on  board  the  Bristol  boat  for  Boston,  at 

five   p.  m.,   on    Friday,   the   18th.     In   the    meantime,   Father 

Walsh  went  to  Mount  Holly  to  make  it  all  right  with  Father 

McGahann  for  the  few  daj&  he  was  to  be  absent,  not  by  any 

means  telling  McGahann  his  destination. 

Gertrude  and  Father  Walsh  arrived  in  Boston  on  the  morn- 
ing of  Saturday,  the  19th  of  September.  She  took  him  to  the 
Adams  House,  on  Washington  Street,  where  he  registered  his 
name,  and  after  shaking  hands  with  him  hastened  to  her  law- 
yers and  told  them  Father  Walsh  was  in  Boston,  and  at  the 
Adams  House.  A  writ,  after  Gertrude  had  taken  oath  to  all 
it  contained,  was  placed  in  the  hands  of  Deputy  Sheriff  Mer- 
rill. She  accompanied  this  deputy  to  the  Adams  House,  and 
pointed  out  the  unsuspecting  priest,  who  was  immediately  taken 
in  charge  and  conducted  to  the  Boston  Court  House. 

Gertrude   applied  in  person  to   Father  Babst,  a  particular 


138  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER.  WALSH. 

friend  of  hers,  in  order  to  procure  bail  for  Father  Walsh.  (This 
Rev.  John  Babst  was  at  that  time  President  of  the  Boston  Jesuit 
College,  but  he  has  since  been  made  Provincial  of  the  Jesuits 
in  the  United  States  and  Canada,  and  at  present  resides  in  the 
Jesuit  College,  Sixteenth  Street,  New  York.)  In  the  mean- 
time I  received  the  following  letter  from  Father  Walsh : 

"  Sheriff's  Office,  Court  House. 
My  Dear,  Dear,  Sister. — Oh  come  to  your  poor  helpless 
friend  !  I  am  now  under  arrest  and  w^ould  not  be  allowed  to 
see«you.  Will  you  come  to  me,  for  God's  sake  ?  They  re- 
quire bail  for  my  appearance,  but  how  is  your  cruelly  perse- 
cuted one  to  find  bail  in  a  strange  city  to  which  you  alone  have 
attracted  me.  Oh  sister !  remember  my  love  and  kindness 
toward  you  always,  and  come  and  let  your  poor  penitent  father 
free.  All,  Gertrude,  you  have  acted  the  traitor  too  well ! 
Come  and  see  me  dear,  dear  sister.  I  cannot  realize  my  dread- 
ful position,  and  know  not  what  I  write.  Oh,  my  God !  give 
me  yet  a  little  patience.  I  have  sinned  against  thee,  dear 
Lord !  Thy  will  be  done.  Come  and  see  me  in  this  office 
immediately  dear  sister,  otherwise  I  shall  be  put  into  the  "den 
of 'thieves."  Come,  dear  sister,  and  tell  me  what  you  want  me 
to  do.  This  is  now  the  "  prayer .  of  the  wreary  one."  May 
God  and  his  holy  Mother  put  it  into  your  heart  to  act  again 
the  part  of  Sister  de  Chantal. 

I  am  your  unfortunate  friend,  - 

W.  M.  Walsh." 

When  I  received  this  letter  I  was  petrified  with  grief  and 


THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH.  139 

astonishment.  I  could  not  weep  although  my  heart  was  weep- 
ing blood.  In  calm  despair  I  accompanied  the  bearer  of  the 
letter  to  the  Court  House,  and  deeply  veiled  I  entered  the 
sheriff's  office,  where  I  beheld  Father  Walsh  very  much  de- 
pressed and  cast  down.  Gentle  reader,  pity  me  in  that  trying 
scene,  when,  for  the  first  time  in  my  life,  I  entered  a  sheriff's 
office  and  found  it  full  of  men  who  all  stared  at  me  as  I  entered. 
What  a  position  for  a  shrinking,  sensitive  woman  to  be  placed 
in !  and  what  an  errand  had  brought  me  there !  Nothing 
could  have  induced  me  thus  to  expose  modesty  than  a  con- 
scientious duty  to  avert  scandal  from  the  Catholic  religion,  and 
to  prevent  the  imprisonment  of  an  anointed  priest,  and  a  man 
I  once  had  loved,  and  whom  I  had  forgiven. 

Father  Walsh  was  not  impenitent ;  he  was  going  to  make  a 
life-long  atonement  for  his  sins  among  the  austere  order  of 
Dominicans ;  and  although  he  had  sinned  knowingly,  sinned 
grievously,  yet  he  implored  pardon  from  his  Heavenly  Father 
Who  is  "  ever  ready  to  forgive  all  who  trust  in  Him,  and  re- 
nounce their  evil  ways."  I  told  Father  Walsh  I  had  nothing 
to  do  with  his  arrest,  and  I  would  never  give  my  consent  to 
his  imprisonment.  The  sheriff  said  I  had  nothing  at  all  to  do 
with  it,  as  it  was  my  sister  who  took  oath  against  him. 

Gertrude,  whose  plans  were  substantially  thwarted  by 
Father  Walsh's  writing  to  me,  and  my  consequent  appearance 
in  the  prisoner's  favor,  soon  after  indignantly  walked  into  the 
sheriff's  office,  and  in  sharp  tones,  before  all  present,  ordered 
me  out  of  the  office  in  the  following  words  :  "  Shame  on  you, 
bold  woman !     You  are  not  your  mother's  daughter  to  concil- 


140  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

iate  with  that  poltroon.  Do  you  think  a  true  woman  would 
let  such  an  act  go  unpunished  ?"  I  replied  to  her  calmly,  "  A 
true  woman  would  shrink  from  publicity  in  such  a  case.  He 
has  injured  himself  the  most,  and  conscience  will  be  to  him  a 
more  salutary  punishment  than  a  disgraceful  imprisonment. 
Let  him  retire  into  a  Monastery  to  do  penance  and  implore 
forgiveness  of  God  !  And  now  Gertrude,  I  am  not  a  minor, 
and  I  am  the  injured  party.  I'll  forgive  him."  She  replied 
with  great  vindictiveness,  "  I  will  not  forgive  him  !  he  must  go 
to  jail ;  that  is  the  St.  Rose's  Convent  I  have  in  view  for  him, 
and  where  I  trust  he  will  do  penance  for  the  next  fifteen  years. 
Edith,  come  away  from  here." 

I  left  the  sheriff's  office  and  proceeded  with  her  through  the 
court  yard  to  the  office  of  Starkweather  &  Sheldon.  These 
gentlemen  were  very  courteous  and  sympathized  with  me,  but 
as  the  case  could  not  be  settled  that  day,  they  committed 
Father  Walsh  to  the  Suffolk  jail.  The  next  day,  which  was 
Sunday,  Rev.  Father  Babst  and  Rev.  Father  Supple  of  Charles-. 
town,  visited  him  in  the  jail,  and  in  the  afternoon  they  settled 
the  case  by  paying  the  sum  of  $300  into  the  hands  of  the 
lawyers.  I  did  not  know  Father  Walsh  was  released  until 
Monday  morning,  and  Gertrude  was  so  enraged  with  me  be- 
cause I  had  broken  up  the  suit,  that  she  uttered  the  bitter  re- 
mark :  "  I'll  have  revenge  if  I  wade  through  hell  to  get  it ! 
and  I'll  go  to  my  father,  secure  his  power  of  attorney,  and 
have  Walsh  re-arrested  in  the  criminal  court  of  New  Jersey, 
and  there  you  will  have  no  power  to.  interfere."  I  was  not 
aware  at  that  time  that  my  parents  were  entirely  ignorant  of 


THE    ARREST    OF   FATHER    WALSH.  141 

Gertrude's  proceedings  and  knew  nothing  of  the  arrest  of 
Father  Walsh.  My  father  would  never  have  consented  to  it 
if  he  had  known  her  intentions.  Fearing  she  would  carry  out 
her  threat,  and  actuated  by  the  one  motive  to  save  the  church 
from  scandal,  with  fifty  dollars  in  hand,  I  went  in  pursuit  of 
Father  Walsh,  to  tell  him  to  leave  at  once  the  State  of  New 
Jersey.  I  arrived  at  Father  McGahann's,  Mount  Holly,  Tues- 
day, September  22d,  at  four  p.  m.  Father  McGahann  was  sur- 
prised to  see  me,  and  at  first  failed  to  recognize  me,  as  it  was 
the  first  time  he  had  met  me  since  I  left  the  convent,  and  was 
ignorant  of  my  escape.  Father  McGahann  had  not  seen 
Father  Walsh  since  the  18th,  but  was  expecting  him  back 
from  the  Dominicans  in  New  York  whither  he  had  gone  to 
make  arrangements  for  his  departure  west. 

I  saw  Father  McGahann  knew  nothing  of  the  events  that 
had  taken  place,  and  I  could  not  inform  him.  He  asked  me 
to  wait  until  the  next  day,  and  if  Father  Walsh  did  not  come 
then  he  would  give  him  up.  I  went  to  the  Davis  Hotel, 
Mount  Holly,  and  remained  all  night  suffering  much  anxiety 
of  mind  lest  Father  Walsh  had  been  re-arrested.  The  ques- 
tion which  troubled  me  was,  why  had  he  not  arrived  in  Mount 
Holly,  as  he  had  left  Boston  twenty-four  hours  in  advance  of 
me?  In  the  morning  I  went  to  Father  McGahann's  Church  to 
Mass,  after  which  he  invited  me  to  breakfast  with  him.  About 
nine  a.  m.,  while  we  were  conversing  in  the  parlor,  Father 
Walsh  made  his  appearance,  dejected,  downcast,  and  unshaven. 
Father  McGahann  was  very  much  surprised  by  the  deplorable 
aspect  Father  Walsh  presented,  and  thus  accosted  him,  a  Well 


142  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

William,  wnat  has  happened  to  you  ?  here  is  Sister  de  Chantal 
who  has  been  waiting  since  yesterday  to  see  you.     What  kept 

you  ?" 

"  Well,  James,  if  you  must  know  what  happened  to  me,  I 

have  been  in  jail." 

"  In  jail,  William !  Arrah,  what  brought  you  to  jail,  and 
what  jail  wTere  you  in  ?" 

"  To  tell  you  the  truth,  James,  I  hardly  know  what  jail  my- 
self;  all  I  can  tell  you  is  that  I  put  up  in  the  Boston  jail  Sat- 
urday, breakfasted  and  dined  there  on  Sunday,  settled  my  ac- 
count at  the  jail  Sunday  evening,  and  here  I  am  now,  James, 
more  dead  than  alive, — or  is  it  dreaming  I  am  ?" 

"Faix,  we  are  both  dreaming  I  think,"  said  Father 
McGahann,  falling  back  in  his  chair,  in  dismay. 

"  Will  you  tell  me  William,  what  you  were  doing  in  Boston  ? 
sure,  it's  with  the  Dominicans  I  thought  you  were ;  what  in  the 
wide,  ivide  world  took  you  to  Boston  at  all  ?" 
"  Sister  de  Chantal's  sister  took  me  there." 
"  Is  it  the  little  thing  that  was  here  the  other  day  ?" 
"  Yes,  James,  that  little  fly  in  the  brown  silk  walking  suit." 
fa  Arrah  Billy  !  what  made  you  go  with  her  ?     Musha,  may 
the  devil  shoot  her,  but  she  is  smart  to  hoist  you  off  to  Boston 
jaill  and  may  the  devil  hikers  you  for  going  with  her — but  we 
are  all  fixed  now  in  earnest !     Come  William,  tell  me  all  about 
it,  for  God's  sake." 

Whereupon  Father  Walsh  tearfully  confessed  all  to  Father 
McGahann,  expressing  the  most  sincere  regret  for  all  the  suf- 
fering he  had  occasioned  me.     I  then  explained  to   Father 


THE    ARREST    OP    FATHER    WALSH.  143 

"Walsh  why  I  was  there,   requesting  him  to  leave  the  State  of 
New  Jersey  without  delay,  because  of  Gertrude's  threat. 

Both  the  priests  were  alarmed,  and  Father  McGahann  hur- 
ried Father  Walsh  away  while  I  was  to  remain  in  Mount 
Holly  until  Father  McGahann  returned.  However,  at  the 
depot  they  met  Fathers  Sheehan  and  Fitzsimmons,  who  were 
posting  down  in  hot  haste  with  a  report  which  had  appeared 
in  the  New  York  Tribune.  They  all  returned  together  to  the 
house,  and  Father  Walsh  showed  'me  the  publication  in  the 
newspaper.  My  readers  will  observe  from  the  statement  of 
facts  which  I  have  given,  the  falsity  of  the  following  paragraph : 

From  the  New  York  Daily  Tribune,  of  Tuesday,  September 
22d,  1868.  .   . 

"  Remarkable  Suit  in  a  Boston  Court. — Boston,  Sept. 
2lst.  A  few  days  ago  the  Rev.  Mr.  Walsh,  a  Catholic  clergy- 
man, was  arrested  in  a  civil  process  on  the  charge  of  seduction 
in  August  last  of  Miss  Edith  O'Gorman,  otherwise  Sister 
Teresa  de  Chantal,  who  had  been  an  inmate  of  the  convent  of 
Notre  Dame,  Hudson  City,  New  Jersey ;  to  which  institution 
Walsh  was  attached  in  the  capacity  of  spiritual  adviser  to  the 
nuns.  On  leaving  the  convent  Sister  Teresa  went  to  Philadel- 
phia, whither  she  was  followed  by  Walsh.  About  the  24th  of 
August,  he  sent  her  to  Liverpool  in  a  steamer,  but  the  girl's 
sister,  Gertrude  O'Brien,  came  to  a  knowledge  of  the  facts,  at 
that  time,  and  at  once  set  about  rescuing  her  sister  from  her 
life  of  shame.  She  now  lives  in  Boston  where,  the  entire 
family  helping,  Gertrude  succeeded  in  getting  her  sister  back 

7 


144  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

from  Liverpool  to  Boston,  and  obtained  from  her  a  recital  of 
her  wrongs.  She  wrote  at  once  to  Messrs.  Geo.  C.  Stark- 
weather  &  Sheldon,  well  known  criminal  lawyers,  and  told  her 
case.  They  informed  her  that  she  must  get  Walsh  to  Boston 
in  order  to  do  anything  with  him.  With  true  woman's  art  she 
concocted  a  tale  which  brought  him  here,  and  he  was  at  once 
arrested  in  a  civil  process,  in  which  the  victim  claims  $5,000 
damages,  and  lodged  in  jail.  This  morning  he  obtained  money 
enough  to  pay  the  damages,  "and  is  now  out  of  Massachusetts. 
It  is  said  that  he  has  been  suspended  from  his"  priesthood  by 
his  Bishop." 

Dear  readers,  what  my  sensations  were  no  language  can  de- 
scribe as  I  read  that  base  and  lying  document.  I,  who  had  en- 
dured every  kind  of  suffering,  hardship,  and  privation,  rather 
than  sacrifice  honor  and  virtue,  was  by  that  carelessly  printed 
card  paraded  before  the  public  as  "  fallen,"  especially  in  the 
part  which  reads  :  "the  girl's  sister,  Gertrude  O'Brien,  came  to 
a  knowledge  of  the  facts  at  that  time,  and  at  once  set  about 
rescuing  her  sister  from  her  life  of  shame."  And  then  too, 
consider  this :  "  She  now  lives  in  Boston,  where,  the  entire 
family  helping,  Gertrude  succeeded  in  getting  her  sister  back 
from  Liverpool !"  Oh,  how  false  !  as  my  family  knew  nothing 
of  my  misfortunes,  and  Gertrude  did  not  dream  of  making  an 
effort  toward  my  return  from  Liverpool.  She  did  not  even 
know  I  had  been  there  until  I  told  her,  after  getting  back 
through  the  charity  of  William  Matthias,  on  the  22d  of  Au- 
gust.    The  false  report  stated  that  I  was  sent  to  Liverpool  on 


THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH.  145 

the  *  24th  of  August,"  and  further  gives  the  public  to  under- 
stand that  I  decoyed  Father  Walsh  to  Boston,  and  received 
damages  to  the  amount  of  $5,000.  False !  false ! !  my  sister 
was  the  actor  in  the  case,  and  three  hundred  dollars  was  the 
exact  sum  paid  by  Father  Walsh  to  Starkweather  &  Sheldon, 
which  sum  he  borrowed  from  Rev.  Father  Supple,  of  Charles- 
town,  Mass.,  and  which  was  not  even  sufficient  to  pay  the 
"  costs  "  of  suit. 

I  could  not  help  blaming  Gertrude  for  this  new  suffer- 
ing, which  opened  afresh  the  gaping  wounds  of  my  harrowed 
heart.  Father  McGahann  prepared  a  contradiction  in  my 
name  to  that  inaccurate  and  injurious  card,  which,  though  not 
as  explicit  as  I  wished,  nevertheless  refuted  many  of  the  false 
statements.     It  was  as  follows  • 

"The  case  of  the  Rev.  Mr.  Walsh,  late  of  Hudson  City. 

To  the  Editor  of  the  Tribune. 

Sir  :  In  a  Boston  dispatch  headed.,  "  Remarkable  Suit  in  a 
Boston  Court,"  you  say  that  the  Rev.  Mr.  Walsh  has  been 
suspended  from  priesthood  on  charge  of  seducing  Miss  Edith 
O' Gorman,  otherwise  Sister  Teresa  de  Chantal,  while  she  was  an 
inmate  of  the  convent  of  Notre  Dame,  Hudson  City,  N.  J.  I, 
the  alleged  victim,  Edith  O' Gorman,  formerly  Sister  de  Chantal, 
am  prepared  to  swear  that  every  charge  contained  in  said  arti- 
cle is  untrue  from  beginning  to  end,  It  is  a  foul  calumny  that 
I  have  ever  been  seduced  in  my  life  by  anybody.  It  is  also 
untrue  that  the  Rev.  Mr.  Walsh  was  my  spiritual  adviser.  It 
is  untrue  that  he  ever  followed  me  to  Philadelphia  except  by, 


146  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

as  I  then  thought,  my  dying  request.  It  is  false  that  he  ever 
sent  me  to  Liverpool  except  by  my  own  earnest  request.  I  left 
the  convent  unknown  to  my  superior,  and  all  whom  I  esteem- 
ed in  this  world.  I  went  to  Ireland  of  my  own  account.  I 
have  no  sister  married,  and  hence  "Gertrude  O'Brien,"  men- 
tioned in  your  article  cannot  be  my  sister.  I  have  a  sister 
named  Mary  Gertrude  O' Gorman,  living  at  No.  48  Essex 
Street,  Boston,  who  has  brought  a  great  deal  of  misery  upon 
me.  I  have  never  written  to  Messrs.  George  C.  Starkweather 
&  Sheldon,  on  any  business  whatever.  Whoever  has  given 
such  scandal  to  my  character  must  hold  himself  responsible 
for  his  conduct.  I  have  never  enticed  the  Rev.  Mr.  Walsh  to 
Boston,,  This  awful  charge  might  never  have  come  to  my 
notice  except  through  the  goodness  of  a  friend.  No  matter 
how  opposed  I  am  to  appear  in  public  print,  I  consider  it  a 
duty  I  owe  to  myself,  to  the  holy  community  to  which  I  be- 
longed, and  to  the  Rev,  Mr.  Walsh,  who  has  been  injured  on 
my  account,  to  send  you  the  above  statement,  and  I  beg  that 
this  contradiction  will  be  copied  by  all  the  papers  that  have 
circulated  the  grievous  scandal. 

Edith  O' Gorman, 
Alias  Sister  Teresa  de  Chantal." 

Rev.  Father  Sheehan  took  the  above  letter  to  the  New  York 
Tribune,  and  it  appeared  on  the  morning  of  September  25th. 
Father  Walsh,  in  the  presence  of  Fathers  McGahann,  Sheehan, 
and  Fitzsimmons,  proclaimed  me  to  be  v|he  purest  minded 
woman  he  had  ever  met ;  he  expressed  the  deepest  sorrow  for 


THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH.  147 

all  the  suffering  lie  had  occasioned  me,  and  before  all  present 
confessed  he  loved  me  then  if  possible,  more  than  ever,  and 
imploring  my  pardon,  we  parted  forever.  The  priests  were 
moved  to  tears  in  witnessing  the  separation  of  two  human 
hearts,  which  were  it  not  for  an  accursed  system,  might  have 
been  spared  so  much  suffering  and  a  life-long  separation. 

The  25th  of  September,  18G8,  was  the  last  time  I  saw 
Father  Walsh,  and  I  was  left  alone  and  unprotected  in  a  cruel 
world  to  bear  the  whole  weight  of  its  calumny  and  oppro- 
brium. September  26th,  Father  McGahann  sent  me  to  Balti- 
more, giving  me  the  name  of  Agnes  Barry,  and  telling  me  that 
under  an  assumed  name  and  in  a  strange  city,  I  could  get  a 
school  to  teach  from  some  of  the  priests.  September  28th  I 
stopped  at  Barnum's  Hotel,  Baltimore,  and  the  next  day  I  was 
directed  by  the  Jesuits  to  a  boarding  house  at  132  North  Cal- 
vert Street,  where  as  a  transient  boarder  I  paid  two  dollars 
per  day.  I  went  to  several  priests  seeking  a  situation  as 
teacher,  but  every  vacancy  was  supplied.  My  money  nearly 
all  gone,  I  wrote  to  Father  McGahann,  and  received  the  fol- 
lowing letter  in  reply  : 

Mount  Holly,  N.  J.,  September  31st,  1868. 
Dear  Sister  : — I  received  your  letter  to-day  and  really  it 
pained  me  very  much,  0  God !  I  fear  you  are  falling  away 
from  the  only  true  Catholic  faith.  Oh,  dear  girl !  pray  to  God 
to  drive  such  temptations  from  your  mind.  I  would  suggest 
that  you  enter  upon  some  devotion,  say  the  "  thirty  days 
prayer  " — that  God  through  the  intercession   of  our  Blessed 


148  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

Lady  might  free  you  from  such  temptations.     Should  you  com- 
mence this  prayer  let  me   know  the   time  and   I  will  pray  for 
you  in  my  masses.     About  looking  out  for   a   school  I   think 
you  have  been   too   hasty.     You  should  remain  quiet  for  the 
present,  and  do  everything  after  quiet  consideration.     You  can 
remain  where  }7ou  are  for  a  week  or  two,  till  you  find  some 
suitable  situation,   and  during  that  time  I  would  suggest  that 
you  pray  a  great  deal  to  our  Divine  Lord  and  His  immaculate 
Mother,  and  I  am  sure  God  will  assist  you.     Do  not  give  your- 
self any  further  uneasiness  about  poor  Father  Walsh,  as,  thank 
God,  he  is  on  Ins  way  to  where  he  cannot  possibly  be  found 
out ;  and  I  hope  God  will  give  him  grace  to  repent  of  the  path 
he  has  taken  in   causing  you   so  much  suffering,  and  in  bring- 
ing scandal  upon  the  Church  of  God.     I  have  not  heard  much 
about  the  matter  since.     Father   Sheehan  has  been  with  me 
assisting  me  at  the  Triduum,  and  has  told  me  that  all  the  papers 
copied  the  contradiction,  and  commented  largely  on  the  affair. 
He  requested  that  you  make   an  affidavit  in  confirmation  of 
the  statements   in  the  contradiction.     You   will   then  please 
write  out  the  contradiction  and  go  before  some  magistrate  and 
swear  to  the  truth  of  what  you  have  written,  and  send  it  to 
me.     Do  not  forget  this  but  do  it  without  delay.     I  will  send 
you  letters  of  recommendation  next  week,  which  will  be  time 
enough  for  you.     You  are  at  present  unfit  for  anything.    When 
you  become  more  tranquil  it  will  be  time  enough  to  look  out 
for  a  situation  ;  the  quieter  and  more  retired  you  keep  your- 
self for  the  present,  the  better.     I  hope  you  will  consider  the 
necessity  of  again  retiring  into  the  convent.     Father  Renahan 


THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH.  149 

has  taken  to  his  bed  and  is  inconsolable.  Father  Hogan  is 
frantic  ;  has  written  to  me  twice  the  same  day.  Oh,  dear 
child  !  it  is  a  blow  which  has  withered  many  hearts.  Write 
often  to  me  and  I  will  send  you  every  news.  Your  only  sal- 
vation is  in  prayer,  and  may  God  give  you  the  grace  of  prayer ! 

Yours  very  truly  in  Jesus  Christ, 

J.  J.  McGahann." 

After  receiving  the  above  letter  in  compliance  with  the 
Jesuits'  advice,  I  put  the  following  advertisement  in  the  Balti- 
more Sun: 

"  An  accomplished  young  lady  wishes  a  situation  as  Gov- 
eness  or  Lady's  Companion.  Address  Agnes  Barry,  132 
North  Calvert  Street." 

The  same  day  about  two  p.  m.  an  elegant  carriage  drove  up 
to  the  door,  and  a  magnificently  dressed  lady  enquired  for 
Agnes  Barry.  This  lady  said  she  had  seen  my  advertisement, 
and  as  she  needed  a  companion  or  waiting-maid  she  had  an- 
swered it.  I  told  her  I  expected  letters  of  recommendation 
from  a  Roman  Catholic  priest  in  a  few  days.  She  replied 
very  graciously,  "  Your  face  is  all  the  recommendation  I  need," 
at  the  same  time  requesting  me  to  accompany  her  then  in  her 
carriage,  and  gathering  together  my  scanty  wardrobe  I  complied, 
thanking  God  in  my  inmost  soul  that  I  had  succeeded  in  get- 
ting a  situation. 

We  alighted  at  an  elegant  mansion  in  an  aristocratic  look- 
ing neighborhood.  The  lady,  who  seemed  extremely  affable, 
conducted  me  into  a  luxurious  chamber  which  she  told  me  was 


150  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

to  be  mine.     She  requested  me  to  take  some  rest  as  she  would 
not  require   my  services  that   day,  and  then  retired  with   the 
excuse  that  several  visitors  were  awaiting  her  in  the  drawing 
room.     I  knelt  down  to  thank   God  for  the  blessing  of  a  com- 
fortable   home.      No   suspicion   of    wrong  crossing  my  mind 
until  about  one  hour  after  the  lady  had  left  me,  I  was  aston- 
ished to  see  an   elderly  looking  man   enter  my  chamber.     At 
first  I  thought  he  was  the  lady's  husband  who  had  entered  the 
room  without  knowledge   of  my  presence  there.     However,  I 
was  doubly  surprised  when  he  came  and  sat  down  on  the  sofa 
where  I  sat  reading  a  book,  and  gliding  his  arm   around  my 
waist,  made  use  of  language  which  sent  the  blood    tingling 
through  my  veins  with  indignation.     I  sprang  from   the   sofa 
and  demanded   to  know  what  he  meant  and  why  was  I  there 
to  be  thus  insulted  ?  he  replied,  "  So  then  you  are  ignorant  of 
the  character  of  this  house  ?"     I  told  him  I  only  knew  that  I 
had  been   engaged  by  a  lady  there  as  companion ;  but  a  sus- 
picion that  I  had  been  ensnared  to  a  maison  d'lnfamie  crossed 
my  mind,  and  paralyzed  my  senses  with  unspeakable  horror. 
I  went  to  the  door   to  find  it  locked,  as  unperceived  by  me  he 
had  sprung  a  secret  spring  when  he  entered.     "  O  God  !  have 
mercy  upon  me  and  save  me  !"  I  ejaculated,  and  kneeling  down 
in  a  voice   of  heartrending  supplication,  I   addressed   the  fol- 
lowing to  the  Blessed  Virgin :  "  Remember,  O  most  holy  Vir- 
gin, that  no  one  ever  had  recourse  to  thee  without  finding  re- 
lief.    Oh,  come  to  my  assistance  most  immaculate  Virgin,  and 
save  your  child  from  defilement !     Remember,  O  most  holy 


THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH.  151 

mother,  that  I  am  the  consecrated  spouse  of  thy  divine  Son ! 
O  holy  mother  save  me  !" 

While  I  repeated  this  prayer  that  man  stood  aloof  from  me, 
and  when  I  finished  he  said,  "  are  you  a  Catholic  and  a  con- 
secrated Virgin  ?"  I  looked  at  him,  and  with  lightning-like 
rapidity  the  thought  flashed  through  my  mind  that  he  was  a 
Roman  Catholic  priest.  I  arose  from  my  knees  and  confront- 
ing him,  I  replied,  "  I  am  a  Catholic,  and  you,  sir,  are  a  Roman 
Catholic  priest.  I  am  a  consecrated  virgin,  and  on  account  of 
priestly  depravity  I  ran  from  the  convent,  and  am  out  on  the 
wicked  world  without  a  friend  or  home ;  and  oh,  sir  !  if  you 
possess  one  spark  of  humanity,  if  there  is  any  truth  or  virtue 
in  the  Catholic  Church,  you  a  priest  of  that  faith  will  open 
those  doors  and  let  me  depart  unsullied  ?"  He  looked  at  me 
in  surprise  and  his  quivering  lips  denoted  he  was  deeply  moved 
while  he  exclaimed,  "  My  God,  have  I  come  to  this  ?  child  put 
on  your  bonnet,  and  depart  as  you  came."  He  then  accompa- 
nied me  to  the  hall  door,  and  held  it  open  while  I  passed  out, 
at  the  same  time  saying,  "  pray  for  priests." 

I  found  myself  in  a  strange  part  of  the  city,  and  with  the 
greatest  difficulty  I  again  made  my  way  back  to  North  Calvert 
Street.  I  could  scarcely  realize  the  fate  I  had  so  miraculously 
escaped  through  the  treachery  of  that  degraded  woman.  Was 
it  possible  that  one  of  my  own  sex  could  fall  so  low  ?  Woman 
when  good  and  pure  is  the  most  beautiful  of  God's  creatures, 
but  there  is  nothing  in  hell  or  earth  so  vile  as  a  degraded 
woman.  0  woman,  woman,  why  destroy  the  beautiful  handi- 
work of  thy   Creator  by  making  yourself  a  fiend  incarnate. 


152  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

I  was  so  inexperienced  in  the  ways  of  the  world  that  I  never 
suspected  the  existence  of  such  degradation.  I  resolved  never 
a^ain  to  advertise  for  a  situation. 

I  had  ten  dollars  left  and  with  that  I  left  Baltimore,  and  as 
I  had  no  one  else  to  go  to,  I  went  to  Father  McGahann,  whom 
I  found  in  great  trouble  on  account  of  another  malignant  and 
lying  report  which  had  appeared  in  the  New  York  Tribune. 
I  learned  afterward  that  Gertrude  had  given  her  lawyers 
fifty  dollars  to  secure  their  affidavits  in  confirmation  of  the 
statements  which  no  Boston  paper  would  give  publicity  to, 
and  the  New  York  Tribune  was  the  only  paper  which  pub- 
lished the  false  report.  If  the  statements  had  been  only  truth- 
fully made,  I  would  not  have  felt  such  poignant  grief,  but  the 
thought  that  a  sister,  whose  duty  it  was  to  shield  and  protect 
me,  should  open  afresh  the  gaping  wounds  of  my  bleeding 
heart,  was  overwhelming  in  itself.  Her  aim  in  making  the 
matter  public  was  chiefly  to  show  up  the  secret  crimes  of 
priests,  but,  for  her  sister's  sake  at  least,  why  did  she  not  see 
that  the  statements  published  were  truthful  ? 

No  matter  what  way  I  turned  I  seemed  to  be  baset  by  new 
sorrows,  and  each  trial  seemed  greater  than  the  preceding 
one.  Thus,  pressed  down  upon  all  sides  I  was  overwhelmed 
in  an  accumulation  of  sorrows.  John  Russell  Young  was 
then  acting  editor  of  the  New  York  Tribune ;  he  did  not  im- 
mediately publish  the  letter  which  was  again  "  loosely  made  " 
by  the  Boston  correspondent,  and  so  received  a  sharp  letter 
from  Gertrude,  asking  an  explanation  why  the  report  had  not 
appeared.     Let  my  readers  judge  by  reading  this  report,  how 


THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH.  153 

fearfully  I  was  again  wronged,  and  what  injustice  and  calumny- 
was  heaped  upon  my  unprotected  head. 

\_From  the  Tribune  of  October  Qth,  1868.] 

BOSTON. 

The  case  of  Edith  0' Gorman — Documentary  proofs  of 
the  affair — Narrative  of  the  events. 

A  card  was  recently  published  in  our  columns  denying  th 
truth  of  the  story  sent  us  by  our  Boston  correspondent.  This 
has  been  generally  copied,  and  the  Tribune  denounced  for  pub- 
lishing false  news.  We  now  print  a  letter  from  our  Boston  cor- 
respondent, together  with  the  documentary  evidence  upon 
which  his  narrative  was  based,  and  with  this  statement  dismiss 
the  subject. 

Boston,  Sept.  28th,  1868. 

In  the  Tribune  of  the  2 2d  September,  there  appeared  a  par- 
agraph which  narrated  briefly  and  imperfectly  the  seduction  by 
Rev.  William  M.  Walsh,  a  Catholic  priest  at  Hudson  City,  of 
a  Sister  of  Notre  Dame,  by  the  name  of  Edith  0' Gorman,  or 
as  she  was  called  in* the  convent,  Sister  Teresa  de  Chantal. 
On  the  25  th  September,  a  card  appeared  in  the  Tribune,  signed 
by  Miss  O' Gorman,  which  denied  the  seduction  point  blank, 
and  evaded  the  other  statements  in  the  paragraph,  some  of 
which  were  hurriedly  and  loosely  made.  After  the  publica- 
tion of  that  card,  your  co-respondent  at  once  went  to  work  in 
gathering  proofs  to  substantiate  his  statements,  and  he  has 
obtained  among  other  documents,  the  following :  First,  a  cer- 
tified  copy  of  the  sheriff's  writ,   taken   out   by   Miss    Edith 


154  TIIE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

O' Gorman  herself,  on  the  15th  inst.,  in  which  the  property  of 
the  Kev.  Win.  M.  Walsh  is  attached  for  $5,000  damages. 
To  this  writ  Miss  O' Gorman,  (who  now  apparently  denies  that 
she  was  ever  seduced  by  Mr.  Walsh,)  asserted  as  follows : 

"  First  Count — And  plaintiff  says  defendant  made  an  as- 
sault upon  her,  and  by  force  debauched  and  carnally  knew  her, 
whereby  the  plaintiff  was  made  sick  for  a  long  time,  to  wit : 
for  the  space  of  one  year,  and  her  life  was  endangered,  and 
she  was  subjected  to  great  pain  and  anguish  of  body  and 
mind. 

Second  Count — And  plaintiff  further  says,  defendant  was 
her  spiritual  adviser  and  director,  and  defendant  contrary  to 
his  duty  as  such  adviser  and  director,  endeavored  to  violate 
and  have  carnal  intercourse  with  the  plaintiff,  and  administered 
certain  drugs  and  potions  to  the  plaintiff,  which  she  is  unable 
more  particularly  to  describe,  and  by  means  of  such  drugs  and 
potions  so  enfeebled  and  overmastered  the  plaintiff,  that  he 
was  enabled  to  and  did  thereupon  debauch  and  carnally  know 
the  plaintiff;  and  in  consequence  thereof,  plaintiff  was  made 
grievously  sick  for  a  long  time,  to  wit :  for  one  year,  and  her 
life  was  endangered  and  she  was  subjected  to  great  physical 
and  mental  pain  and  agony. 

Third  Count — And  plaintiff  says  defendant  made  an  assault 
upon  her  and  struck  her,  and  ill-treated  her,  and  kept  her  im- 
prisoned for  the  space  of  one  year,  in  consequence  of  which 
plaintiff  was  made  grievously  sick  for  a  long  time,  to  wit :  for 
one  year. 

'     On  the  19  th  inst.,  the  Rev.  Mr.  Walsh  was  arrested  in  Bos- 


THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH.  155 

ton  by  a  deputy  sheriff,  and,  being  unable  to  procure  bail,  was 
committed  to  jail.  The  19th  was  Saturday,  and  on  Sunday  p.  m. 
Mr.  Walsh  settled  the '  case,  and  secured  the  discharge  of  the 
suit  by  paying  cash  into  the  hands  of  Miss  Edith  O'Gorman's 
attorney,  the  well-known  Messrs.  George  C.  Starkweather  & 
II.  N.  Sheldon.  Your  correspondent  has  obtained  a  sworn 
affidavit,  made  by  Messrs.. Stark  weather  &  Sheldon,  to  the  effect 
that  Mr.  Walsh  confessed  to  them,  that  he  had  illicit  inter- 
course with  Edith  O' Gorman,  otherwise  Sister  Teresa  de 
Chantal ;  and  your  correspondent  also  has  the  sworn  affidavit 
of  Miss  Mary  Gertrude  Byron  O' Gorman,  the  sister  of  Edith, 
and  through  whose  truly  wonderful  perseverance  and  ingenuity, 
mainly  inspired  simply  by  a  desire  to  bring  a  villain  to  justice, 
and  to  lighten,  if  possible,  her  sister's  and  her  family's  tar- 
nished honor,  the  iniquity  of  this  case  has  been  brought  to 
light.  That  Mr.  Walsh  was  suspended  from  his  priesthood  on 
account  of  performing  the  deeds  mentioned  in  the  Sheriff's  writ. 
Miss  Gertrude  was  told  so  by  Mr.  Walsh  himself,  and  that  he 
was  suspended  by  Bishop  Bayley  of  New  Jersey.  In  Mie 
card  published  in  the  Tribune,  signed  by  Edith  O' Gorman*  it 
is  stated  that  Mr.  Walsh  was  not  suspended. 

It  appears  singular  that  a  woman  who  one  day  sues  a  man 
for  seduction,  and  obtains  damages,  should  on  another  deny 
that  she  was  ever  outraged.  The  explanation  is  this.  By 
some  means  or  other,  Mr.  Walsh  has  obtained  possession  of  her 
again — in  fact,  it  is  believed  that  they  left  Boston  together  aftef 
the  settlement  of  the  case,  and  went  to  N'ow  York.  The 
sight  of  the  man  excited  feelings  of  affection,  which  the  weak- 


|56  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH, 

'med  intellect  of  the  girl  could  not  resist,  and  she,  it  is  believed, 
is  once  more  in  his  toils — he  a  priest,  and  forbidden  by  his 
Church  to  know  the  other  sex,  and  sjie  a  professed  bride  of 
the  Church,  vowed  to  celibacy.  The  card  in  the  Tribune  of 
the  25th,  was  evidently  the  work  of  Mr.  Walsh's  brain,  and 
not  of  the  girl's ;  she  is  not  capable  of  a  document  so  Machia- 
velain  in  character. 

The  facts  in  regard  to  the  seduction  by  the  Rev,  William 
M.  Walsh  of  Miss  Edith  O' Gorman,  while  she  was  a  sister  of 
Notre  Dame,  in  a  house  of  the  order,  are  succinctly  these  :  The 
Revo  Mr.  Walsh  came  to  the  convent  six  months  before  the 
outrage  took  place,  which  was  on  the  19  th  of  January  last. 
He  was  a  curate  in  the  convent,  and  the  sisters  did  not  confess 
to  him,  and  therefore  he  was  not,  in  one  sense,  their  spiritual 
adviser.  On  the  night  of  the  19th  of  last  January,  he  induced 
Miss  O'  Gorman  to  go  into  the  chapel  of  the  convent  with  him. 
There  he  gave  her  something  to  drink,  which  produced  stupe- 
faction. When  she  awoke  she  discovered  that  she  had  been 
violated.  Her  outraged  feelings  caused  her  to  become  de- 
ranged,  and  in  hopes  of  hastening  her  recovery,  she  was  sent 
by  the  mother  to  a  convent  at  Newark,  N.  J„  On  the  31st  of 
January  she  ran  away  in  her  religious  dress,  and  went  to  the 
Continental  hotel  in  Philadelphia.  She  stayed  there  two 
weeks,  and  the  Rev.  Mr.  Walsh  found  her  boarding  under  the 
assumed  name  of  Edith  Crofton.  He  removed  her  to  the 
house  of  Mrs.  Willt,  on  Coates  Street,  and  kept  her  there 
nearly  four  months.  During  that  time,  he  visited  her  at  Mrs. 
Willt's  at  various  times,  and  she  met  him  at  New  York  at 
various   times.      On  the  10th  of  last  June  she  was    at    the 


THE    ARIIEST    OP    FATHER    WALSH.  157 

Pacific  Hotel,  on  Greenwich  street,  New  York,  with  Mr. 
Walsh,  and  they  were  seen  by  parties  in  a  position  they 
should  not  have  been  in.  This  is  susceptible  of  direct  proof 
from  eye-witnesses.  In  the  middle  of  July — probably  on  the 
15th — she  sailed  for  England  in  the  Steamer  Propontis,  as 
she  herself  has  said,  sent  there  by  Mr.  Walsh.  Out  of  his 
sight  she  got  over  her  infatuation  for  him,  (as  she  did  lately  in 
Boston,  when  she  brought  the  suit  against  him)  and  told  the 
steward  of  the  vessel  her  tale.  He  took  pity  on  her  condition 
— in  a  foreign  country,  without  a  friend — and  paid  her  passage 
back  in  the  Steamer  Siberia.  She  arrived  in  Boston  on  the 
2 2d  of  August,  her  relatives — father,  mother,  and  sister — 
knowing  nothing  of  her  seduction  and  adventures.  Between 
the  2 2d  and  24th  of  August,  she  confessed  her  shame  to  her 
sister,  and  besought  her  to  obtain  reparation.  The  parents  of 
the  sister  reside  in  Rhode  Island,  and  are  highly  respectable 
people.  Bishop  McFarland  has  charge  of  that  diocese,  and  to 
him  Gertrude  O' Gorman  appealed  for  justice.  He  wrote  to 
Bishop  Bayley  of  New  Jersey  about  the  case,  and  it  is  believed 
caused  the  suspension  of  the  Rev.  Mr.  "Walsh.  Walsh  then 
went  to  reside  with  some  friends  at  Mount  Holly,  Burlington, 
N.  J.,  and  occasionally  with  his  sister  in  Philadelphia.  Ger- 
trude found  him  at  Mount  Holly,  when  she  induced  him  to  ac- 
company her  to  Boston,  to  see  Edith,  it  being  necessary  to 
get  him.  into  Massachusetts  in  order  to  punish  him  by  law. 
He  came  on  and  was  mulcted,  as  has  already  been  narrated. 
Such  are  the  sworn  facts  of  this  remarkable  affair,  and  there 
is  documentary   evidence   to  support  every  allegation.     In  so 


158  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

base  a  recital  as  this,  justice  has  not  been  clone  by  any  means 
to  the  foul  wrong  committed  by  the  priest,  or  the  heroism  of 
the  victim's  sister,  Gertrude.  Miss  Edith  0' Gorman  is  about 
2G  years  old,  and  quite  handsome.  Mr.  Walsh  is  about  30, 
and  looks  like  a  very  gentlemanly  priest.  It  is  said  that  there 
is  a  possibility  that  the  Rev.  Mr.  Walsh  will  be  allowed  by  his 
Superiors  to  marry  Miss  O' Gorman,  and  thus  at  least  partly 
redeem  her  honor. 

The  following  affidavits  substantiate  the  above  narrative: 
We,  Geo.  C.  Starkweather  &  H.  N.  Sheldon,  both  of  Bos- 
ton, County  of  Suffolk,  and  Commonwealth  of  Massachusetts, 
on  oath  say  that  the  Rev.  William  M.  Walsh,  was  arrested  on 
a  writ  issued  by  us  for  the  seduction  of  Miss  Edith  0' Gorman. 
That  he  confessed  to  us  his  crime,  and  that  he  settled  the  suit 

by  a  cash  payment. 

Geo.  C.  Starkweather, 

H.  N.  Sheldon. 

Suffolk,  ss.,  September  28,  1868. 
Subscribed  and  sworn  to   severally  by  the  said  George  C. 
Starkweather  &  H.  N.  Sheldon,  before  me, 

Wm.  A.  Herrick,  Justice  of  the  Peace. 

Commonwealth  of  Massachusetts,  Suffolk,  ss. 
I,  Mary  Gertrude  Byron  O' Gorman,  having  been  duly  sworn 
depose  and  say  that  I  was  present  when  my  sister  Edith 
O' Gorman  authorized  Messrs.  Starkweather  &  Sheldon  to 
bring  her  suit  against  the  Reverend  William  M.  Wal&h.  I 
furthermore  state  that  I  have  reliable  information  that  said 


THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH.  159 

"Walsh  was  suspended  from  his   priesthood  on   account  of  his 
acts  charged  in  the  writ. 

Mary  Gertrude  Byron  O' Gorman. 

Suffolk,  ss.,  September  28,  18G8. 
>     Subscribed  and  sworn  to  by  the  said  Mary  Gertrude  Byron 
O' Gorman,  before  me, 

Wm.  A.  Herrick,  Justice  of  the  Peace. 

Now,  Christian  readers,  let  me  lay  bare  the  falsity  of  thia 
publication,  from  which  I  have  suffered  so  much.  The  state- 
ment "  in  the  Tribune  of  September  2 2d,  there  appeared  a 
paragraph  which  narrated  briefly  and  imperfectly  the  seduc- 
tion by  Rev.  William  M.  "Walsh,  a  Catholic  priest  of  Hudson 
City,  a  Sister  of  Notre  Dame,  by  the  name  of  Edith  O'  Gor- 
man, or  as  she  was  called  in  the  convent,  Sister  Teresa  cle 
Chantal.  On  the  25th  of  September,  a  card  appeared  in  the 
Tribune  signed  by  Miss  O' Gorman,  which  denied  the  seduction 
point-blank" — It  is  entirely  false  in  that  that  I  never  belonged 
to  the  order  of  Notre  Dame  nuns,  which  is  an  order  entirely 
distinct  from  Sisters  of  Charity ;  and  as  to  denying  the  seduc- 
tion "  point-blank,"  I  again  reiterate  that  I  never  was  seduced 
in  my  life.  The  word  seduction  implies  the  consent  of  both 
parties,  and  death  would  have  been  preferable  to  me  than  to 
such  consent ,  neither  was  the  outrage  ever  accomplished. 

It,  dear  readers,  is  a  most  painful  task  to  speak  of  such  a 
subject,  nevertheless  justice  and  truth  require  it.  Again  the 
correspondent  says  that  he  "  has  obtained  a  certified  copy  of 
the  sheriff's  writ  taken  out  by  Miss  Edith  O' Gorman  herself 


160  THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 

on  the  15th  inst.,  in  which  the  property  of  the  ReVc  W.  M. 
Walsh  is  attached  for  five  thousand  dollars."  This  is  another 
base  calumny.  The  Boston  correspondent  never  saw  a  writ 
"  taken  out  by  Miss  Edith  0' Gorman  herself,"  for  no  such  writ 
was  ever  taken  out ;  he  might  have  seen  a  writ  taken  out  by 
Gertrude  O' Gorman,  but  on  the  15th  of  August  I  knew  noth- 
ing of  the  existence  of  such  a  writ,  for  I  was  then  only  a  few 
days  out  from  Liverpool  in  the  Siberia. 

This  writ  from  beginning  to  end  is  full^  of  false  charges 
against  Father  Walsh  and  myself.  The  third  count  reads, 
"And  plaintiff  says  defendant  made  an  assault  upon  her  and 
struck  her,  and  ill  treated  her,  and  kept  her  imprisoned  for 
the  space  of  one  year,  in  consequence  of  which,  plaintiff 
was  made  grievously  sick  for  a  long  time,  to  wit,  for  one  year." 
How  could  Father  Walsh  imprison  me  for  one  year  when  it 
was  scarcely  nine  months  since  I  had  run  away  from  the  con- 
vent ?  and  it  is  a  direct  falsehood  that  Father  Walsh  ever 
struck  or  imprisoned  me  ;  on  the  contrary  his  treatment  was 
most  tender,  kind,  and  respectful. 

The  Boston  correspondent  makes  it  appear  that  I  had  re- 
ceived "  five  thousand  dollars  damages,"  which  falsehood  I 
have  already  explained  to  the  reader,  not  if  they  could  have 
procured  me  $50,000  damages  would  I  have  carried  on  the 
suit.  I  do  not  know  as  Father  Walsh  was  ever  suspended  by 
Bishop  Bayley  as  alleged  by  Gertrude.  I  know  that  Bishop 
Walsh,  whom  I  met  on  the  Steamer  City  of  Baltimore,  after 
he  arrived  in  Ireland,  wrote  to  Bishop  Bayley  to  suspend 
Father  Walsh,  but  Bishop  Bayley  did  not. 


THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH.  161 

The  correspondent  further  says,  u  l  It  appears  singular  that  a 
woman  who  one  day  sues  a  man,  should  the  next  day  deny  it.' 
The  explanation  is  this.  By  some  means  Mr.  Walsh  has  ob- 
tained possession  of  her  again,  in  fact  it  is  believed  that  they 
left  Boston  together.  The  sight  of  the  man  excited  feelings 
of  affection  which  the  weakened  intellect  of  the  girl  could  not 
resist,  and  she  is  once  more  in  his  toils." 

What  injustice!  Never  in  my  life  have  I  brought  suit 
against  any  one,  and  my  readers  already  know  that  I  did  not 
leave  Boston  with  Father  Walsh ;  neither  did  I  know  when  he 
left  there  as  I  did  not  see  him  until  Wednesday  the  2 2d,  when 
he  arrived  at  Mount  Holly.  And  if  my  "  weakened  intellect " 
was  unable  to  resist  him,  where  was  the  necessity  for  running 
away  from  the  convent,  or  going  to  Ireland  and  exposing  my- 
self to  so  many  hardships  and  privations. 

The  correspondent  finally  winds  up  with  an  outline  of  the 
facts,  which  although  they  contain  many  falsehoods,  yet  strange- 
ly confound  the  "plaintiff's  count"  contained  in  the  sheriff's 
writ.  He  says,  "  Father  Walsh  found  her  boarding  at  the 
Continental  Hotel,  and  took  her  to  Mrs.  Willt's — and  kept  her 
there  four  months."  Whereas  I  was  out  of  the  convent  four 
months  before  Father  Walsh  found  me,  and  then  only  through 
the  telegram  sent  by  Mrs.  Willt  that  I  was  dying.  Neither 
did  I  see  Father  Walsh  on  the  10th  of  June  in  the  Pacific 
Hotel,  as  it  was  Bessie  Murry  who  met  me  at  the  depot  in 
Jersey  City  at  five  p.  m.,  and  conducted  me  there.  Dear 
readers,  note  the  inconsistency  of  the  two  different  cards  placed 
before  the  public  by  the  Boston  correspondent  in  the  New  York 


1G2 


THE    ARREST    OF    FATHER    WALSH. 


Tribune.  Compare  the  card  of  Sept  22d,  with  that  of  Octo' 
ber  6th,  both  false,  yet  both  contradicting  each  other,  while  I, 
a  defenceless  woman,  was  forced  to  bear  the  whole  weight  of 
the  calumny.  It  is  strange  that  I  could  not  always  realize 
that  there  was  a  just  God  who  even  then  sustained  me  in  His 
everlasting  arms,  and  Who  one  day  directed  that  I  would  tri- 
umph over  all  my  enemies,  and  my  exaltation  exceed  the 
depths  of  humiliation,  through  which  for  a  time  He  permitted 
me  to  wade. 


tJSLSLSL 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

ABDUCTION  TO  THE  CONVENT  OF  GOOD  SHEPHERDS. 

Father  McGahann  advised  me  to  go  to  New  York,  and 
write  from  there  to  him,  directing  my  letter  to  St.  Peter's 
Church,  Grand  Street,  Jersey  City,  whither  he  decided  to  go, 
because  he  could  not  endure  the  mortification  of  remaining  any 
longer  in  Mount  Holly,  and  he  would  then  see  what  could  be 
done  for  me.  Accordingly  I  went  to  New  York,  and  not  hav- 
ing much  money,  I  engaged  a  room  at  the  Stevens  House, 
which  was  conducted  on  tke  European  plan.  Being  known 
there  I  was  not  required  to  pay  for  my  room  in  advance.  I 
wrote  to  Father  McGahann,  but  received  no  answer.  I  wrote 
again.  Still  no  reply.  I  could  not  understand  why  he  should 
thus  abandon  me  without  money  or  friends. 
|  I  had  been  nearly  one  week  at  the  Stevens  House,  and  had 
not  money  enough  left  to  pay  for  another  meal  in  the  restau- 
rant, and  as  a  last  resort  I  sent  a  telegram  to  Gertrude,  re- 
questing her  to  send  me  some  money,  as  I  was  starving.  I 
did  not  think  she  would  act  so  unsisterly  as  to  refuse  the  ap- 
peal of  a  broken-hearted,  destitute  sister.  Instead  of  money  I 
received  a  most  unfeeling  letter,  asking  how  I  dared  apply  to 

(163) 


164  ABDUCTION. 

her  for  money,  and  why  did  I  not  "  go  to  my  Bishops  and  Arch- 
bishops of  Babylon  ?  " 

After  I  received  this  unkind  letter  from  Gertrude,  all  hope 
sank  within  me.  I  had  not  tasted  food  for  two  days,  and  was 
suffering  the  pangs  of  hunger.  I  lost  all  hope  or  faith  in  God ; 
I  cried  out  in  the  despair  of  my  heart,  "  There  is  no  God,  there 
is  no  justice,  no  eternity  !"  I  resolved  to  commit  self-destruc- 
tion, and  made  preparations  to  that  effect  by  writing  letters  to 
Father  McGahann  and  Gertrude,  which  I  sealed  and  directed 
and  put  in  my  pocket,  with  another  letter  bearing  the  super- 
scription, "To  be  opened  when  I  am  dead."  I  borrowed 
twenty-five  cents  from  the  clerk  of  the  hotel,  crossed  the  ferry 
into  Jersey  City,  went  into  a  drug  store  and  called  for  arsenic, 
which  they  refused  to  give  me.  I  tried  another  pharmacy,  and 
succeeded  in  getting  an  ounce  of  laudanum,  and  then,  in  the 
shade  of  evening,  I  walked  to  Hudson  City  and  tried  to  get 
into  the  church,  intending  to  be  found  dead  in  the  Sanctuary. 
The  church  was  locked ;  I  then  went  into  Father  Venuta's 
kitchen,  very  much  to  the  surprise  of  Bessie  Murray,  whom  I 
asked  for  the  keys  of  the  church.  She  refused  to  give  them  to 
me,  and  then  exclaiming,  "  It  will  do  just  as  well  here,"  I 
drained  the  contents  of  the  phial  before  her.  She  ran  in  dis- 
may to  inform  Father  Yenuta,  who  took  his  hat  and  cane  and 
left  the  house  precipitately,  for  fear  of  being  arrested  if  I  were 
found  poisoned  in  his  house.  However,  Fathers  Sheehan  and 
Fitzsimmons,  who  were  spending  the  evening,  remained.  But 
a  merciful  God  intervened  and  saved  me  from  myself,  although 


ABDUCTION.  1G5 

in  that  moment  I  had  denied  that  He  existed, — else  I  would 
never  have  attempted  such  an  act. 

I  had  taken  too  much  laudanum,  consequently  it  did  not  re- 
main in  my  stomach ;  but  I  became  very  sick,  and  Father  Ve- 
nuta  ordered  that  I  should  be  removed  to  Jersey  City,  because 
I  was  too  well  known  there,  and  it  would  bring  too  much  scan- 
dal on  the  Church.  I  was  sent  to  Mrs.  Ford's,  in  South  Sec- 
ond Street,  Jersey  City.  Mrs.  Ford  was  a  poor  widow,  and 
in  my  sickness  was  very  kind  to  me.  Father  Senez,  the  ex- 
Jesuit,  seeing  that  the  sympathies  of  the  people  were  with  me, 
and  that  they  condemned  the  priests,  sent  Mr.  Halliard  of 
South  Fifth  Street,  his  head  man,  with  a  carriage,  and  forcibly 
conveyed  me  from  a  sick  bed  to  the  House  of  Good  Shepherds 
in  Manhattanville,  N.  Y.  Mrs.  Rooney  of  Hudson  City,  who 
happened  to  be  visiting  me  when  Halliard  called,  accompanied 
me. 

In  the  House  of  Good  Shepherds  I  was  placed  on  a  straw 
bed,  and  nourished  the  first  day  on  black  bread  and  coffee. 
However,  the  next  day  I  was  recognized  by  a  girl  whom  I  had 
reclaimed  and  sent  there  from  the  Hudson  City  jail.  Oh,  what 
a  humiliation  for  me  to  be  placed  on  the  same  equality  with 
the  most  degraded  vagrants  !  When  the  superioress  heard  of 
this  she  took  me  to  her  own  room,  and  treated  me  with  great 
kindness  until  I  recovered.  She  then  entreated  me  to  go  to 
Cincinnati  and  join  her  order  there,  which  I  refused,  for  I  had 
lost  faith  in  Convents,  and  my  soul  seemed  plunged  into  the 
darkness  of  infidelity.     Every  hope  in   God  was   dissipated ; 


166  BDUCTIOX. 

that  was  the  greatest  trial  of  all !  I  cannot  conceive  a  greater 
hell  than  to  be  without  God  ! 

Finally  the  superioress  opened  the  doors  and  let  me  go  free. 
Mrs.  Rooney  had  given  me  ten  dollars.  At  that  time  I  heard 
of  Rev.  Dr.  H.  Mattison.  I  went  to  see  him  at  his  residence 
in  Jersey  City  ;  he  was  the  first  Protestant  minister  with  whom 
I  had  ever  conversed.  He  wished  me  to  throw  off  the  Catho- 
lic religion  and  let  the  world  know  its  hypocrisy.  I  told  him 
if  there  were  no  truth  in  the  Catholic  Church  there  was  not  any 
truth,  neither  was  there  a  God.  "  Unless  the  Lord  build  the 
house  they  labor  in  vain  who  build  it."  I  could  not  throw  oiF 
cue  yoke  of  Romanism,  with  its  train  of  errors  and  supersti- 
tion, until  the  Lord  severed  the  chains. 

At  the  time  I  saw  Dr.  Mattison  I  did  not  believe  there  was 
a  God  or  eternity.  I  felt  my  soul  plunging  down,  down  into 
the  black  sea  of  infidelity.  The  Catholic  religion  seemed  all  a 
sham,  a  farce,  and  so  were  all  religions.  During  three  weeks 
my  soul  suffered  that  fearful  trial,  that  inexpressible  desolation. 
As  day  without  the  glorious  sun  would  be  an  endless  night,  so 
also  the  soul  of  man  without  a  God  is  an  endless  hell.  Al- 
though I  was  sinking  deep  down  into  the  gloom  of  infidelity,  I 
could  not  save  myself, — and  could  man  save  me  from  that 
frightful  doom  ?  No,  no,  their  efforts  were  fruitless.  But  there 
was  an  Almighty  arm  stretched  out,  and  it  dragged  me  up,  up, 
from  the  darkness — not  all  at  once,  but  gradually,  step  by  step, 
and  I  am  saved  at  last,  and  rejoice  in  a  new  existence. 


CHAPTER    XXIII. 

MY  JOURNEY  ON  FOOT  FROM  BALTIMORE  TO  PHILADELPHIA. 

Weighed  down  on  every  side,  I  knew  not  where  to  turn.  I 
could  not  go  to  friends,  they  had  all  forsaken  me.  I  could  not 
go  to  strangers,  they  would  suspect  and  repulse  me.  I  could 
not  go  to  my  home,  its  doors  were  unjustly  closed  against  me. 
I  could  not  go  to  God,  I  had  lost  all  faith  and  hope  in  Him. 
"  O  !  ye  who  pass  by  the  way  come  and  see  if  ever  sorrow  was 
like  unto  mine,"  was  the  wail  of  my  bleeding  heart. 

In  the  midst  of  my  depression  and  doubt,  and  as  a  last  re- 
sort, I  thought  of  going  to  Archbishop  Spalding,  whom  I  had 
always  heard  extolled  as  a  model  of  Christian  charity.  I  was 
loth  to  think  that  in  the  Catholic  Church  all  its  priests  and 
bishops  were  false,  therefore  I  applied  in  person  to  Archbishop 
Spalding  in  Baltimore,  with  the  hope  that  he  would  assist  me, 
by  providing  an  honorable  situation  for  me,  which  would  enable 
me  to  earn  a  living. 

When  I  arrived  at  the  eminent  Archbishop's  palatial  resi- 
dence I  had  only  twenty-five  cents  in  my  purse,  having  spent 
my  last  dollar  in  the  journey  thither.     I  did  not  think  he  would 

refuse  to  befriend  me.     But  the  discovery  was  soon  made.     In 

(167) 
8 


1C8        JOURNEY    FROM    BALTIMORE    TO    PHILADELPHIA. 

the  most  forlorn  desolation  I  had  sought  the  head  of  the  Church 
in  America,  only  to  find  him  a  whited  sepulchre — rottenness  to 
the  core.  He  would  do  nothing  for  me  unless  I  would  agai  .1 
enter  a  Convent.  To  this  proposition  I  replied  that  I  would 
rather  perish  of  starvation  than  again  immure  myself  in  the 
living  tomb  of  a  Convent.  He  entreated  and  threatened  me, 
but  his  nraniff  was  in  vain.  In  some  instances  he  used  such 
language  in  addressing  me  as  any  true  woman  would  resent. 
I  turned  from  his  parlors  in  disgust,  while  he  in  bitter  sarcasm 
sneered :  "  Ho,  ho,  you  will  come  back  again  before  night,  and 
be  glad  to  go  in  the  Convent,  as  you  will  soon  discover  that 
you  cannot  live  long  in  Baltimore  with  only  twenty-five  cents." 

The  most  hardened  man  of  the  world  would  have  treated 
me  with  greater  charity  than  did  this  head  of  the  "  only  true, 
infallible  Church."  Let  Archbishop  Spalding  deny,  if  he  can, 
the  fact  that  he  permitted  me  to  go  out  from  his  palace  penni- 
less and  unprotected  into  the  streets  of  a  strange  city.  What 
a  fate  for  a  defenseless  woman !  May  God  help  all  the  desti- 
tute and  friendless  women  who  are  cast  thus  on  the  mercy  of  a 
selfish  world ! 

My  heart  became  steeled  against  the  Catholic  Church.  I 
had  put  it  to  the  test  and  it  was  found  wanting.  I  would  rather 
die  with  hunger,  or  perish  with  cold,  than  again  seek  relief  or 
protection  from  its  hardened  priests. 

With  regard  to  seeking  employment  I  was  as  ignorant  as  a 
babe ;  having  been  buried  in  a  Convent  I  knew  scarcely  any- 
thing of  the  ways  of  the  world.  Soul-sick  and  weary,  I  knew 
not  what  to  do,  where  to  go,  or  how  to  find  rest.     With  a  hope- 


JOURNEY    FROM    BALTIMORE    TO    PHILADELPHIA.         169 

less  heart  and  fainting  frame  I  rang  the  door  bell  of  an  aristo- 
cratic  looking  mansion,  and  in  faltering  accents  inquired  if  they 
wanted  a  servant.  "  No,  we  do  not — be  off  with  you,"  greeted 
me  from  one  of  the  class  called  menial ;  while  at  the  second 
place  where  I  mustered  up  courage  enough  to  knock,  a  look  of 
suspicion,  a  cold  shake  of  the  head,  and  the  door  silently  closed 
upon  me,  were  all  the  response  my  timid  question  received. 
Meantime  the  night  was  advancing  while  I  aimlessly  wandered 
through  the  city  like  a  lost  sheep,  and  at  length,  with  an  awful 
sense  of  desolation,  a  total  prostration  of  hope,  I  turned  away 
from  the  streets  of  Baltimore  without  a  thought  of  what  would 
become  of  me. 

To  die  of  starvation  and  cold  is  a  fate  to  which  nature  can- 
not passively  submit.  I  strayed  from  the  city,  and  when  the 
shades  of  night  fell  upon  the  earth,  I  found  myself  on  a  soli- 
tary road  near  a  forest,  which  seemed  to  offer  me  an  inviting 
shelter,  and  I  felt  that  I  would  die  in  the  depths  of  a  wood 
rather  than  on  the  frequented  streets  of  the  city.  To  the  for- 
est, then,  I  turned,  and  on  that  chilly  autumn  night  I  found 
repose  on  Nature's  breast,  laying  my  trembling,  aching  frame 
down  to  rest  on  a  bed  of  withered  leaves,  under  the  open  can- 
opy of  heaven.  With  despairing  eyes  I  gazed  upon  the  count- 
less myriads  of  stars,  and  reflected  on  the  might  and  strength 
of  Him  who  hath  formed  them — and  after  a  while  a  feeling  of 
hope  and  faith  revived  in  my  tortured  heart,  and  I  felt  that 
God  would  save  me.  "  The  Son  of  Man  had  not  whereon  to 
lay  His  head,"  why  then  need  I  fear  ?  Was  I  not  more  like 
Him?  and  the  thought  brought  peace.     When  the  soul  feels 


170    JOURNEY  FROM  BALTIMORE  TO  PHILADELPHIA. 

isolated  from  creatures  it  often  draws  nearer  to  God;  and 
as  I  lay  that  night  in  the  open  air,  a  poor  forsaken  child  of 
earth,  I  experienced  a  dim  flash  of  that  Heavenly  light  which 
was  afterward  to  irradiate  abundantly  my  entire  being. 

Morning  dawned.  The  glorious  sun  filled  earth  and  sky. 
I  arose  from  my  hard  couch  and  looked  around  me.  Every- 
where was  sunshine.  The  trees  were  gorgeously  beautiful  in 
their  rich  autumnal  hues.  I  wished  to  remain  in  the  forest  and 
never  leave  it.  I  envied  the  birds  which  sang  so  sweetly  on 
the  tree  tops.  I  would  fain  at  that  moment  have  become  one 
of  them,  that  I  might  have  found  nourishment  and  shelter 
there.  But  I  was  a  human  being,  and  as  such  could  not  re- 
main there  to  die.  Where  should  I  turn  ?  To  Philadelphia. 
I  could  then  go  to  Mrs.  Willts  ;  she  would  not  refuse  to  shelter 
me  and  assist  me  to  find  employment.  But  it  was  a  long,  long 
way  to  Philadelphia,  and  I  had  no  money  to  pay  my  expenses 
thither.  What  was  I  to  do  ?  I  would  walk.  I  could  only 
fail  and  perish  in  the  attempt ;  nevertheless,  I  would  try. 

"With  want  and  hunger  staring  me  in  the  face  I  set  out  on 
that  long  walk  from  Baltimore  to  Philadelphia.  Reader,  it  is 
too  painful  for  me  to  recall  and  dwell  upon  all  the  incidents  of 
that  journey ;  they  would  fill  a  volume  were  I  to  recount  mi- 
nutely how,  in  many  places,  I  was  repulsed  and  looked  upon 
with  suspicion  and  distrust  when,  driven  by  the  pangs  oi  hun- 
ger, I  solicited  a  crust  of  bread  with  which  to  sustain  my  un- 
happy life.  Some  would  respond  to  my  appeal  with  as  much 
humanity  as  they  might  manifest  toward  a  starving  dog ;  while 
others  would  more  humanely  and  in  greater  abundance  give 


JOURNEY  FROM  BALTIMORE  TO  PHILADELPHIA.    171 

me  some  "  cold  victuals,"  at  the  same  time  asking  me  a  thou- 
sand impertinent  or  quizzical  questions.  To  the  latter  I  made 
little  or  no  reply,  because  1  could  not  enter  into  the  recital  of 
all  the  trials  which  beset  me,  and  which,  to  strangers,  would 
seem  incredible  and  excite  unpleasant  suspicion.  During 
twelve  long  nights  I  sought  repose  in  the  open  air,  and  when 
the  inclemency  of  the  weather  once  drove  me  to  a  cottage  to 
seek  shelter  from  the  storm,  the  door  was  shut  in  my  face  with 
the  words,  "  we  cannot  harbor  vagrants."  0  God  !  with  what 
poignant  arrows  my  sensitive  soul  was  pierced  by  such  unkind- 
ness  and  insult  from  my  fellow  beings,  whom  I  thus  found  even 
more  unfeeling  and  selfish  than  the  brute  creation.  When 
tired,  and  struggling  against  hunger,  I  stretched  forth  my  hand 
for  aid  and  succor,  only  to  be  rudely  thrust  back  upon  the  bleak 
desolation  of  a  cold,  cold  world. 

We  have  many  Christian  maxims  beautiful  in  theory,  but 
how  little  are  they  practised  !  Where  are  the  kind  shepherds 
who  seek  the  tired,  wandering  lamb,  tenderly  bind  up  the 
bleeding  wounds,  and  lovingly  lead  it  into  the  fold  ?  The  good 
shepherds  of  the  Catholic  Church  were  feasting  and  carousing 
in  their  palatial  homes,  while  I  was  driven  forth  to  starve. 
"  Come  unto  Me  all  ye  that  are  heavy  laden,  and  I  will  refresh 
you,  and  ye  weary  of  heart  and  I  will  give  you  rest."  This 
is  the  spirit  of  the  Christian's  Lord,  and  how  beautiful  were  it 
practised  !  But  the  world  says  the  contrary  ;  it  says,  "  Come 
unto  me,  and  I  will  heap  upon  you  opprobrium,  reproach,  and 
recrimination,  taunting,  reviling,  deriding,  and  persecuting  you." 
Is  it  not  the  voice  of  a  selfish  world  ?     Would  I  might  deny 


]72    JOURNEY  FROM  BALTIMORE  TO  PHILADELPHIA. 

it !  but  my  heart  1ms  harrowed  through  its  depths ;  my  eyes 
have  watered  its  furrows  with  the  lamentations  that  have  gone 
out  from  my  soul  in  despair. 

When,  footsore,  I  arrived  at  the  Susquehanna  River,  and 
wearily  wandered  along  its  banks  until  I  came  to  a  town  where 
I  succeeded  in  begging  my  way  across.  I  often  strayed  from 
the  right  course,  and  then  would  inquire  of  some  humble  look- 
ing farmer  the  straight  road  to  Philadelphia.  Oh,  how  often  I 
sank  by  the  roadside  fainting  from  physical  prostration !  how 
often  in  very  despair  I  was  on  the  point  of  laying  my  weary 
body  down  to  die,  only  to  rise  again  and  rally  my  sinking 
energy  to  reach  the  desired  goal !  Each  trial  I  suffered  was  in 
itself  well  nigh  sufficient  to  break  some  human  heart.  To  be 
cast  out  and  suffer  a  living  death  from  parents  and  relations ; 
to  have  the  heart's  truest,  purest  love  betrayed,  and  highest 
confidence  misplaced;  to  be  abandoned  by  every  friend  on 
earth ;  to  suffer  the  cruel  injustice  of  base  calumny  and  un- 
merited persecution ;  to  be  without  shelter  or  food,  a  wander- 
ing, starving,  homeless  mendicant,  without  even  the  consolation 
of  a  true  religion,  seems  indeed  an  incredible  amount  of  sorrow 
for  one  weak  woman  to  endure ;  and  yet  such  was  the  accumu- 
lation of  sorrow  heaped  upon  me,  such  the  sea  of  trouble  in 
which  I  was  deluged. 

Ah,  dear  readers,  how  many  of  you  would  not  think  the  bur- 
den of  one  of  those  sorrows  greater  than  you  could  bear ! 
Truly  the  hand  of  God  was  laid  heavily  upon  me,  but  it  was 
done  in  love.  As  there  are  some  flowers  whose  fragrance  can 
only  be  exhaled  by  pressure,  so  there  are  souls  whose  purity 


JOURNEY  FROM  BALTIMORE  TO  PHILADELPHIA. 


173 


and  virtue  cannot  send  out  their  good  odor  except  by  the  weight 
of  suffering — the  pressure  of  Infinite  Love.  My  recollections 
of  life  have  indeed  been  fraught  with  weariness  and  pain,  but 
so  that  my  heart  might  at  last  reach  forth  to  God ;  and  it  now 
holds  truth  still  more  sacred  for  its  scarcity.  I  would  not 
have  it  otherwise,  and  bless  the  Hand  winch  hath  chastened 
me.  And  as  He  hath  permitted  me  to  see  the  darkness  and 
the  desolation,  so  doth  He  now  permit  me  to  see  the  peace  and 
the  purity  of  holiness — that  sweet  calm  which  never  comes 
but  to  the  God-born  heart,  and  to  the  soul  that  has  passed 
from  suffering  to  sanctity — from  a  living  crucifixion,  an  unen- 
tombed  martyrdom,  to  the  perfect  peace  "  winch  passeth  under- 
standing." 


CHAPTER    XXIV. 


MY    CONVERSION. 


"Weary  and  way-worn  I  at  last  arrived  in  Philadelphia, 
having  been  twelve  days  on  the  road.  I  went  to  Mrs.  Willts, 
1336  Coates  Street,  who  kindly  took  me  in  until  I  was  able  to 
seek  employment,  and  which  I  found  in  less  than  two  weeks  in 
a  most  Providential  manner.  Being  afraid  to  advertise  after 
the  experience  I  had  in  that  line,  I  was  advised  to  go  to  an  in- 
telligence office.  Accordingly  I  started  out  to  find  one,  and 
was  directed  to  736  Arch  Street.  I  entered,  however,  the 
wrong  building,  and  was  surprised  to  find  myself  in  a  Phreno- 
logical Gallery.  An  affable  and  venerable  looking  man,  with 
flowing,  silvery  beard  and  hair,  approached  me,  wishing  to 
know  if  I  desired  to  have  a  phrenological  chart  and  description 
of  character.  To  this  I  replied  in  the  negative,  at  the  same 
time  apologizing  for  the  intrusion.  I  told  him  my  errand,  and 
was  about  to  retire  to  the  office  indicated  to  me,  when  he  re- 
quested me  to  be  seated,  that  he  might  have  an  opportunity  to 
study  my  head  scientifically.  I  did  so.  He  then  proceeded  to 
enumerate  in  phrenological  language  the  different  qualities  he 

discovered,  among  them  "unusual  powers  of  oratory,   elocu- 

(174) 


MY    CONVERSION.  175 

tion,  penmanship,  etc."  After  lie  had  finished  his  delineation 
of  my  character,  he  said  that  his  lady  amanuensis  was  ill,  and 
he  thought  I  was  fully  competent  to  take  her  place,  and  he 
greatly  desired  that  I  should  do  so.  Accordingly  I  engaged 
with  Professor  W.  B.  Elliott  in  the  capacity  of  amanuensis,  at 
a  salary  of  six  dollars  a  week.  Here  I  remained  during  my 
sojourn  in  Philadelphia,  a  little  over  six  months. 

I  boarded  for  a  while  at  Mrs.  Wartman's,  Washington  Square, 
where  I  was  subject  to  all  the  annoyances  of  a  large  and  fash- 
ionable boarding  house.  All  the  money  I  earned  went  to  pay 
my  board.  At  table  I  was  subjected  to  the  rude  stare  of  un- 
principled men  and  women ;  and  in  the  parlor  I  found  it  con- 
venient to  sit  aloof  from  the  groups  of  gossiping  women,  who 
were  so  anxious  to  find  out  all  about  every  new  comer.  I  was 
often  pained  by  such  questions  as  these  :  "  Have  you  no  friends, 
no  acquaintances  ?  "  "  No  ? "  "  Strange  !  very  strange  ! " 
And  whispered  insinuations  would  be  thrown  out,  because  I 
had  no  friends  call  to  see  me ;  and  there  were  mysterious  shakes 
of  the  head,  which  plainly  implied,  "  There  must  be  something 
wrong ! " 

Unable  to  endure  the  unjust  suspicions  of  unfeeling  women, 
I  determined  to  confine  myself  to  my  little  room,  and  afterward 
never  mingled  with  them  except  at  table.  I  was  indeed  iso- 
lated and  without  friends,  but  how  could  they  know  or  under- 
stand the  depths  of  suffering  which  I  endured,  and  which  filled 
my  heart  with  distrust  toward  all  creatures  ?  However,  I  was 
at  length  fortunate  enough  to  get  board  with  a  widow  lady  and 
her  invalid  granddaughter.      Mrs.  Thomas  was  a  Southern 


17G  MY    CONVERSION. 

lady,  who  had  met  with  many  reverses  through  the  war ;  was 
very  respectable,  though  humble  ;  poor  but  neat ;  and  with  her 
I  was  made  to  feel  at  home  during  the  remainder  of  my  stay 
in  Philadelphia. 

My  heart  had  not  as  yet  been  touched  with  a  live  coal  from 
the  altar  of  God.  My  soul  had  not  as  yet  emerged  from 
darkness  into  celestial  light, — but  the  time  was  near  at  hand. 
I  felt  it  a  necessity  to  attend  church,  and  through  force  of  habit 
went  to  the  Catholic  Church ;  but  whenever  I  entered  it  I  felt 
a  sense  of  terror  take  possession  of  my  soul.  I  could  not 
kneel  or  bow  down  to  those  empty  forms.  One  Sunday  in 
April,  1869, 1  witnessed  Bishop  Wood,  in  his  golden  vestments, 
mitre  and  sceptre,  administer  the  sacrament  of  Confirmation  in 
the  Cathedral  of  Philadelphia.  With  a  new  light  I  looked 
upon  the  falsity  and  hollowness  of  its  forms  and  ceremonies ; 
they  appeared  to  me  like  the  aimless  play  of  children,  or  the 
gorgeous  pastime  of  fools.  I  was  a  child  no  longer,  therefore 
I  could  not  be  satisfied  with  this  empty  farce  of  religion,  and 
in  a  sweat  of  agony  I  turned  away,  with  the  resolve  never 
again  to  enter  a  Catholic  church.  I  afterward  visited  Protes- 
tant churches  of  all  denominations.  I  attended  Spiritual  Cir- 
cles and  Quaker  meetings,  and  finally  began  to  think  that  all 
religious  systems  were  vain.  Thus  like  a  vessel  cut  loose  from 
its  mooring,  without  helm  or  guide,  I  wandered  awhile  upon 
the  sea  of  doubt  and  uncertainty,  and  were  it  not  for  the  infi- 
nite mercy  of  Almighty  God  rank  infidelity  must  have  been 
my  ultimate  refuge. 

Who  can  describe  the  awful  danger  of  such  a  position  ?     I 


MY    CONVERSION.  177 

saw  myself  like  a  lonely  mariner  far  off  on  the  boundless  ocean 
at  midnight,  when  the  raging  tempest  conceals  the  heavens 
from  sight;  when,  crying  for  help  and  no  encouraging  voice 
responds,  no  friendly  aid  is  afforded,  despair  takes  hold  of  the 
soul.  But  Christ  was  on  the  ship,  and  soon  His  voice  was 
heard  stilling  my  tempest-tossed  soul  with  His  potent  words, 
"  Peace,  be  still,"  and  the  troubled  waters  became  calm.  My 
mind  had  been  so  harassed  with  doubt,  so  cruelly  agitated  by 
conflicting  thoughts  and  ineffectual  attempts  to  discover  the 
true  faith,  that  I  had  formed  the  desperate  purpose  of  embrac- 
ing no  particular  form  of  Christianity  until  the  hour  of  death ; 
but  God  was  watching  over  me.  His  hand  was  extended  to 
withdraw  my  feet  from  the  brink  of  the  precipice. 

This  soul-conflict  lasted  from  April  until  August,  1869,  when 
Gertrude  relented,  and  invited  me  to  Boston.  It  was  while 
visiting  a  Catholic  lady  in  that  city  that  my  conversion  took 
place.  Not  in  a  church,  not  by  human  eloquence,  but  in  my 
chamber,  at  the  midnight  hour,  and  by  the  mighty  eloquence 
of  God  alone,  were  the  enemies  of  my  soul  put  to  flight,  and 
the  power  of  darkness  dispelled.  The  King  came  to  take  His 
throne  in  my  heart,  filling  it  with  triumph,  joy,  and  gladness. 
The  deliverer  came  as  my  defense,  my  shield,  and  strength,  and 
salvation,  in  this  world  and  the  next !  God  hath  saved  my 
soul  "  from  death,  my  eyes  from  tears,  and  my  feet  from  fall- 
ing." But  how  can  I  describe  the  awful  agony,  the  death 
struggle  which  heralded  the  glorious  Sun  of  the  light  of  God, 
as  it  ascended  the  awful  East,  and  dispersed  with  its  wonderful 
effulgence  the  deep  darkness   of  my  soul !     The  day  of  the 


178  MY    CONVERSION. 

Lord  dawned  for  me  on  the  29th  of  August,  1869  ;  the  awak- 
ening was  very  bright  and  sudden.  All  day  of  the  29th  my 
spirit  seemed  unusually  weighed  down  by  gloom  and  aridity. 
I  could  not  sleep,  the  agony  of  desolation  continued  through 
the  night  and  forced  me  to  arise  and  walk  the  floor  of  my 
chamber.  My  soul  murmured  and  rebelled  against  God.  I 
reproached  Him  for  all  that  I  had  suffered ;  I  called  Him  un- 
just and  tyrannical.  In  my  rage  and  agony  I  was  about  to 
curse  my  great  Creator,  when,  suddenly,  I  seemed  to  be  com- 
pletely overpowered  by  the  majesty  and  greatness  of  God. 
What  1  I,  an  insignificant  atom  of  mortality,  dare  to  reproach 
my  Creator  ?  to  rebel  against  my  God  ?  Fearful  thought ! 
and  with  a  consciousness  of  my  own  nothingness  I  sank  on  my 
knees  and  thus  prayed :  "  O  Father  in  Heaven,  forgive  me  ! 
let  Thy  blessed  light  shine  upon  me !  deliver  me  from  dark- 
ness. Hear  me  my  God,  for  Christ's  sake  ! "  Like  a  flash  of 
burning  fire  those  words  shot  from  my  heart,  and  instantan- 
eously a  dazzling  light  filled  the  room,  and  a  clear  voice  rang 
through  my  soul,  distinctly  saying,  "  Daughter  of  sorrow,  arise 
and  shine.  Go  forth  and  teach  the  world  the  lesson  you  have 
been  taught ! " 

I  trembled  with  awe ;  the  old  spirit  left  me,  and  the  glorious 
light  of  God  burst  with  dazzling  brightness  upon  my  weary, 
darkened  spirit.  A  thousand  years  seemed  to  have  rolled  over 
it  in  the  darkest  desolation,  and  now,  now,  what  splendor,  joy, 
and  heavenly  bliss  !  my  shackles  had  fallen  and  celestial  light 
flooded  my  inmost  soul  with  the  healing  stream  of  salvation. 


MY    CONVERSION.  179 

Jesus  pressed  me  to  His  bosom  and  sealed  me  forever  His 
own  ! 

Not  only  did  my  soul  emerge  out  of  darkness,  but  my  whole 
body  seemed  changed.  I  felt  like  a  new  creature, — every  de- 
sire was  renewed.  I  could  scarcely  refrain  from  crying  out 
with  the  joy  that  was  in  my  heart — that  heart  which  had  so 
long  been  acquainted  only  with  sorrow  and  grief — that  heart 
which  had  been  blindly  sacrificed  on  the  altar  of  self-immola- 
tion to  procure  this  heavenly  peace  which,  by  the  power  and 
mercy  of  God,  had  at  last  filled  it.  Oh,  the  unspeakable  rap- 
ture, the  glorious  ecstasies  of  my  new-born  soul ! 

Reader,  it  is  not  in  the  power  of  language  to  fully  describe 
the  joy  and  peace  of  the  soul  which  emerges  from  darkness 
into  light,  and  is  united  with  Christ ;  such  happiness  is  far  bet- 
ter felt  than  told.  All  murmuring  and  rebellion  fled  from  my 
mind.  I  thanked  God  for  every  trial,  for  every  persecution 
and  humiliation  I  had  endured.  I  was  resigned  to  the  Divine 
will,  to  suffer  as  long,  and  in  whatever  manner,  my  Master 
pleased.  With  Jesus  it  is  sweet  to  remain  on  the  summit  of 
Calvary,  where,  removed  from  the  world,  the  soul  is  alone  with 
a  dying  God ;  it  grasps  the  cross,  and  feels  the  warm  atoning 
blood  of  Christ  purifying,  cleansing,  regenerating.  Oh,  the  joy 
of  the  soul  united  to  Christ,  clinging  to  the  cross,  washed  in 
the  atoning  blood !  I  had  passed  from  death  to  life.  My 
heart  went  out  to  God  with  a  yearning  desire  to  proclaim  to 
the  world  His  mercy,  power,  and  goodness  to  me.  His  heav- 
enly strength  filled  my  soul  in  rich  streams,  which  shall  go  out 
to  heal  and  save  others.     Merciful  God,  at  last  I  possess  Thee ! 


180  MY    CONVERSION. 

Kindest,  dearest,  tenderest  friend  !  every  affection  of  my  nature 
is  absorbed  in  Thee  !  Hush,  my  soul,  I  cannot  speak  it,  tongues 
of  angels  cannot  express  the  treasure  of  peace  and  content- 
ment in  Jesus. 

Christian  reader,  how  many  there  are  who  have  not  realized 
that  heaven  begins  when,  silent  from  all  the  world,  we  again 
and  again  repeat  the  sweet  name  of  Jesus,  Jesus !  And  how 
many  there  are  who  say  that  adored  name,  looking  beyond 
Him  while  looking  for  Him !  How  many  He  is  hidden  from 
by  the  delusive  staging  of  superstitious  forms  and  ceremonies  ! 
Which  of  us,  having  once  tasted  how  sweet  the  Lord  is,  can 
think  but  with  sorrow  and  anguish  of  the  blind,  cold,  comfort- 
less worship  of  which  they  partake  who  know  not  the  treasure 
of  faith  and  salvation  in  Christ  alone  ? 

Dear  Catholic  readers,  blinded  in  delusion,  weary  with  sin 
and  sorrow,  come  with  me  and  taste  how  sweet  Christ  is. 
Throw  off  your  weight  of  forms  and  superstitions ;  approach 
the  sacred  fountain  of  Jesus'  blood,  where,  wrapped  in  His 
love,  covered  with  His  righteousness,  your  misguided  souls  and 
weary  hearts  will  be  filled  with  heavenly  love,  joy,  peace,  and 
contentment.  0  !  heavenly  bliss  !  delight  past  all  expression ! 
how  consoling,  how  sweet  the  presence  of  Jesus  to  the  longing, 
harassed  soul !     It  is  instant  peace,  and  balm  to  every  wound. 


CHAPTER    XXV. 


MY    "WORK. 


One  of  the  signs  of  a  perfect  conversion  is  a  great  zea?.  to 
convert  others  ;  and  with  this  desire  my  heart  was  filled.  I 
felt  deeply  impressed  that  my  Divine  Master  had  appointed  to 
me  a  great  work,  but  in  what  particular  sphere  it  was  to  be 
carried  out,  occurred  to  me  in  a  most  singular  manner.  My 
friends  were  deeply  astonished  at  the  unexpected  change  mani- 
fested in  me.  Peace  illuminated  my  countenance,  which  had 
so  long  been  clouded  with  grief.  A  smile  replaced  the  deep 
lines  which  sorrow  had  drawn  round  my  mouth.  Heavenly 
joy  shone  from  eyes  accustomed  to  heart-wrung  tears. 
-  A  few  mornings  after  my  wonderful  conversion,  I  told  the 
friend  whom  I  was  visiting  that  the  cause  of  my  happiness  was 
the  grace  of  a  change  of  heart.  I  had  found  that  for  which  I 
had  sought  vainly  for  years.  At  last  I  had  the  assurance  in 
my  soul  that  my  sins  were  all  forgiven  through  the  merits  of 
Christ  alone.  I  told  her  that  I  also  felt  that  1  had  a  great 
work  to  do.  To  her  question,  "  Edith,  what  are  you  going  to 
do  ?"     I  replied  without  a  moment's   premeditation,    "  I  am 

going  to  lecture."     I  was  amazed  at  my  own  words.     Lecture  I 

(181) 


182  MY    WORK. 

impossible.  I,  a  weak  timid  woman,  could  never  face  assem- 
bled multitudes.  Naturally  retiring,  I  shrank  from  publicity, 
and  moreover  I  disapproved  of  women  appearing  on  the  ros- 
trum. I  was  surprised  that  such  a  thought  should  occur  to 
my  mind.  It  was  certainly  one  of  the  ideas  remotest  from  my 
thoughts,  but  the  more  I  tried  to  banish  the  suggestion  as  pre- 
posterous the  more  vividly  it  forced  itself  upon  me  as  being 
the  will  of  God,  and  if  so  I  would  hazard  my  life  in  its  fulfil- 
ment. God  in  all  a^es  hath  chosen  "  the  weak  ones  of  the 
earth  to  confound  the  mighty."  I  knew  that  of  myself  I  could 
do  nothing,  but  "  I  could  do  all  things  through  Him  who 
strengthened  me."  God  had  prepared  me  for  His  work 
through  the  fiery  crucible  of  untold  tribulation,  therefore  I 
rose  in  the  strength  and  majesty  of  God  to  do  His  will. 

My  nature  shrank  from  all  the  opposition,  danger,  slander, 
and  persecution  I  must  encounter  in  the  outset  of  such  a  task, 
nevertheless  like  clay  in  the  hands  of  the  potter,  I  was  subser- 
vient to  what  I  felt  to  be  the  good  pleasure  of  God.  The  res- 
olution to  lecture  strengthened  every  hour,  until  I  seemed  con- 
sumed with  the  desire,  and  accordingly  I  prepared  a  lecture. 
Gertrude  at  first  regarded  my  determination  as  the  result  of  a 
deranged  mind,  but  finally  was  brought  to  think  it  a  good 
work,  and  lent  me  a  helping  hand.  She  went  at  my  request 
to  see  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson,  and  procure  his  interest  in  my 
undertaking.  On  the  20th  of  September,  18G9,  in  company 
with  Gertrude  I  went  to  Concord,  Mass.,  and  spent  the  day  at 
the  pleasant  home  of  Mr.  Emerson,  the  philosopher  and  poet. 
In  the  evening  of  the  same  day,  I  addressed  an  audience  of 


MY    WORK.  183 

about  twenty  persons  in  the  town  hall.  My  audience,  although 
small,  was  composed  of  the  leading  literary  lights.  R.  W. 
Emerson  and  wife,  Rev.  Mr.  Alcott  and  daughters,  one  of 
them,  Louisa  M.,  being  the  well  known  authoress  of  "  Little 
Women  ;"  and  other  distinguished  names,  for  which  the  old 
town  of  Concord  is  remarkable,  encouraged  me  by  their  pres- 
ence. Mr.  Emerson  advised  me  to  continue  the  work  I  had 
undertaken,  assuring  me  that  I  had  the  ability  and  knowledge 
to  impart  instruction  to  mankind. 

Thus  encouraged  I  resolved  to  go  at  once  to  "  Jerusalem 
and  beard  the  lion  in  his  den."  Accordingly,  with  only  fifteen 
dollars  in  my  possession,  which  Gertrude  had  given  me,  I  ar- 
rived in  Jersey  City,  and  in  the  heart  of  my  former  co-relig- 
ionists, in  the  very  community  where  I  had  spent  the  most  of 
my  convent  life,  I  gave  my  second  lecture.  I  had  not  one 
single  friend  at  that  time  in  Jersey  City,  neither  had  I  money 
enough  to  pay  for  hall  or  advertisements.  However,  I  was 
about  my  Master's  work,  and  I  knew  He  would  accomplish  it 
in  me.  I  wrent  to  the  office  of  the  Evening  Journal,  the  lead- 
ing paper  of  the  city,  and  to  one  of  the  firm  I  made  known 
my  object.  He  encouraged  me  in  it,  and  directed  me  to  the 
proprietor  of  Cooper  Hall,  who  was  kind  enough  to  place  it  at 
my  service  without  requiring  payment  in  advance  as  is  custom- 
ary. The  publisher  of  the  Evening  Journal,  being  a  humane 
and  generous  hearted  man,  kindly  told  me  to  give  myself  no 
uneasiness  about  the  cost  of  advertisements,  and  if  the  lecture 
failed  to  prove  successful  he  did  not  wish  any  payment.  So 
my  first  lecture  in  Jersey   City  was  advertised,  and  on  the 


184  MY    WORK. 

evening  of  October  5th,  I  addressed  an  audience  of  about  four 
hundred  persons  in  Cooper  Hall.  I  knew  not  who  among 
them  were  friends  or  enemies.  During  the  lecture  I  was  occa- 
sionally interrupted  by  Catholic  servant  girls.  At  the  conclu- 
sion of  the  lecture  a  large  number  of  newly  made  friends 
gathered  around  me,  grasped  me  by  the  hand,  and  begged  me 
to  continue  in  my  work,  and  give  them  another  lecture. 
Among  those  who  thus  gathered  around  me,  were  many  Cath- 
olic young  ladies,  formerly  my  pupils  in  the  convent  at  Hud- 
son City.  These  embraced  me  most  affectionately,  and 
indorsed  my  statements. 

In  leaving  the  hall,  an  attempt  was  made  to  "  lynch '"  me, 
several  kitchen  girls  threatening  to  "  mash  my  face"  with  their 
umbrellas.  However,  aided  by  friends  I  escaped  unharmed. 
In  compliance  with  the  request  of  many  persons,  I  consented 
to  give  another  lecture  in  Jersey  City.  In  the  meantime  it 
was  necessary  that  I  should  get  board  and  protection  in  a  pri- 
vate family,  because  it  was  unsafe  for  me  to  remain  at  the 
hotel  where  I  had  taken  rooms,  on  account  of  the  servants.  I 
was  introduced  to  Rev.  L.  R.  Dunn,  who  was  then  pastor  of 
St.  Paul's  M.  E.  Church  ;  he  kindly  recommended  me  to  Mrs. 
H.  M.  Dunning,  a  Methodist  lady,  who  nobly  opened  her 
doors  to  shelter  me  from  my  enemies.  In  offering  me  a  home 
she  exposed  her  house  to  the  attack  of  Catholics  who  swore 
vengeance  upon  me. 

Before  I  proceed  farther  I  will  dwell  briefly  on  the  goodness 
of  this  lady.  Mrs.  H.  M.  Dunning  is  a  woman  of  sterling 
>  'rt*n  And  a  perfect  type  of  the  courageous  Christian.     When 


MY    WORK.  185 

I  was  friendless,  obscure,  and  unknown,  she  took  me  in  with- 
out the  slightest  hesitation ;  at  a  time  too,  when  it  was  haz- 
ardous to  herself  and  family,  and  when  others  refused  to  give 
me  shelter  at  any  price  for  fear  of  the  mob  violence  of  Catho- 
lics. Words  are  inadequate  to  do  justice  to  the  Christian 
heroism  of  Mrs.  H.  M.  Dunning.  She  is  the  descendant  of 
a  brave  family  of  Christians  ;  her  grandfather,  the  Rev.  John 
B.  Matthias,  was  the  good  pioneer  of  Methodism,  in  the  state 
of  N.  Y.  He  planted  the  societies  of  Tarrytown,  Nyack, 
Haverstraw,  and  many  other  places,  enduring  all  the  early 
privations  of  the  local  and  itinerant  ministry.  His  son,  Rev. 
John  J.  Matthias,  established  Methodism  in  Staten  Island,  N. 
Y.  This  Christian  lady  has  at  the  present  time  many  uncles 
and  cousins  in  the  M.  E.  ministry.  Among  her  cousins  is 
Rev.  B.  Adams  of  the  New  York  East  conference.  With  this 
noble  woman  I  found  a  home  for  nearly  one  year.  She  was 
to  me  as  a  tender  mother,  a  steadfast  friend,  devoted  sister  and 
companion  ;  often  endangering  her  life  by  accompanying  me 
wherever  I  went.  Many  times  noisy  crowds  of  Catholics 
gathered  around  her  house,  throwing  stones,  breaking  windows, 
etc.  She  nobly  defended  me  when  falsely  maligned  and  mis- 
represented. Her  motive  was  so  elevated  that  she  offered  me 
a  home  free  of  compensation.  The  practical  christian  church 
needs  no  abler  representative  than  Mrs.  H.  M.  Dunning.  My 
soul  overflows  with  gratitude  towards  her ;  and  while  I  live 
she  shall  hold  the  first  place  among  friends  in  my  heart  of 
hearts,  and  I  shall  continue  to  pray  God  to  make  her  the  re- 
cipient of  many  of  His  good  and  perfect  gifts. 


18G  .  MY    WORK. 

Gertrude,  hearing  through  the  press  of  the  danger  which 
menaced  me,  came  to  Jersey  City,  and  remained  while  I  con- 
tinued my  lectures  in  that  city.  I  had  prepared  a  new  lecture 
entitled,  "  Convent  Life,"  and  delivered  it  in  Cooper  Hall  two 
weeks  after  the  first.  The  hall  was  crowded.  Dr.  AYm.  But- 
ler was  there,  and  I  was  introduced  to  the  audience  by  the 
chief  editor  of  the  Evening  Journal.  That  was  the  first  time 
I  met  that  noble  defender  of  truth,  fair  pla}r,  and  free  speech. 
The  interest  of  the  public  being  now  thoroughly  awakened,  I 
prepared  another  lecture.  I  tried  to  secure  a  church  which 
could  accommodate  a  larger  number  of  people  than  Cooper 
Hall,  and  accordingly  made  application  for  the  largest  church 
in  the  city,  but  was  refused  for  fear  of  mob  violence.  The  fol- 
lcwing  extracts  from  editorial  notices  in  the  Evening  Journal 
will  explain  some  of  the  difficulties  which,  beset  me. 


u 


A    CHURCH    OPENED    FOR    TRUTH. 


In  this  community  Edith  O' Gorman  appeals  to  the  christian 
public,  not  for  redress,  for  that  she  cannot  get,  but  to  expose 
the  sins  and  shams  of  that  system,  and  of  those  institutions 
which  make  such  fearful  wrongs  possible  of  perpetration,  and 
nearly  impossible  of  punishment.  She  is  freed  at  last  from 
the  trammels  of  early  prejudice,  and  defying  the  fear  of  perse- 
cution she  proposes  to  tell  her  sad  and  truthful  experience. 
If  ever  any  injured  woman  was  entitled  to  be  heard,  she  is. 
Yet  in  tins  very  community  where  the  system  responsible  for 
her  wrongs  flourishes,  and  where  the  spires  of  Protestant 
churches  may  be  seen  from  every  corner,  her  application  for 


MY    WORK.  187 

the  use  of  a  Christian  church  in  which  to  deliver  a  public  lec- 
ture is  refused.  We  say  that  this  refusal  was  an  act  of  cow- 
ardice of  which  not  only  Christians,  but  men  should  be 
ashamed.  Not  only  this  but  notices  of  her  lecture,  to  be  given 
in  a  public  hall  to  which  she  was  driven  by  those  who  control 
the  churches,  were  in  some  of  the  churches  suppressed,  the 
parties  to  whom  they  were  given  not  daring  to  have  them  read. 
This  also  we  must  characterize  as  narrow-minded  and  cowardly. 
What  decent  excuse  can  be  given  by  Protestant  christians  for 
thus  declining  even  the  smallest  show  of  sympathy  for  this 
persecuted  but  brave  girl,  who  has  been  converted  from  Cath- 
olicism, not  by  Protestant  preaching,  but  by  her  cruel  experi- 
ence of  the  crimes  and  persecutions  that  are  the  fruits  of  the 
Komish  conventual  system.  Why  this  discrimination  in  tins 
case  ?  To  a  reformed  inebriate  like  Gough,  or  a  reformed 
gambler  like  Green,  churches  are  readily  thrown  open  and 
notices  of  their  lectures  are  read  without  hesitation.  Yet  they, 
noble  reformers  as  they  are,  have  not  half  the  claim  to  chris- 
tian sympathy  that  Edith  0' Gorman  has,  for  they  were  the 
victims  of  their  own  follies,  while  she  comes  before  the  com- 
munity with  no  stain  of  guilt  of  her  own  upon  her.  The  evils 
which  they  seek  to  reform  are  fearful  and  gigantic,  but  are 
they  any  more  terrible  than  those  which  this  brave  girl  ex- 
poses? That  Edith  O'Gorman  should  have  to  ask  twice  f^r 
the  privilege  of  paying  for  the  use  of  a  Protestant  church  in 
which  to  expose  the  errors  and  misdeeds  of  the  monastic  and 
conventual  institutions  of  this  country,  and  should  have  been 
refused  is  simply  a  shame.     We  are  pleased  to  record  the  fact 


188  MY    WORK. 

that  the  trustees   of  the  North  Baptist  Church,  have  granted 
the  use  of  their   church  building  to  Miss  Edith  O' Gorman  for 
the  purpose  of  giving  her  next  lecture.     There  would  be  noth- 
ing noteworthy  in  this  were  it  not  for  the  fact  that  previous 
applications  made  for  a  similar  purpose  have  been  refused  by 
at  least  two  of  the  Protestant  churches  in  this  city.     The  lec- 
turer of  course  willingly  pays  the  price  demanded  for  the  use 
of  the  church,  so  that  the  refusal  could  not  be  based  on  finan- 
cial objections.     We  believe  her  applications  were  refused  be- 
cause those  who  control  the  churches  were  afraid  of  mob  vio- 
lence, broken   windows,  etc.     This  reason  ought  not  to  have 
influenced  any  Protestant  for  a  moment.     If  the  truth  against 
Romanism  and  the  evil  practices  of  the  Romish  priesthood  may 
not  be   spoken  in  Protestant  churches,  where  shall  it  find  a 
voice  ?     We  do  not  believe  that  any  mob  will  attack  any  Prot- 
estant church  in  this  city,  but  if  we  feared  they  would  we 
certainly  would  not  be  so  cowardly  as  to  shut  up  any  church 
on  that  account.     The  advocates   and  friends  of  truth  should 
always  be  bold  enough  to  insist   on  their  rights,  and  to  protect 
others  in  their  exercise,  and  no  apprehension  of  violent  oppo- 
sition should  ever  be  allowed  to  put  any  kind  of  a  gag  upon 
free  speech.     They  should  risk  the  smashing  of  every  pane  of 
glass,  in  every  window  of  every  Protestant  church ;  the  sacrifice 
of  a  lot  of  window  glass  for  the  vindication  of  the  right  of  free 
speech,  would  not  in  our  judgment  be  a  very  heavy  thing.     We 
are  glad  that  the  trustees  of  the  North  Baj)tist   Church  have 
shown  that  they   think  it  right  that  at  least  one   Protestant 
church  should  open  its  doors  to  give  a  hearing  to  one  who  is 


MY    WORK.  189 

desirous  of  giving  testimony  against  error  and  wrong-doing, 
and  for  truth  and  righteousness." 

From  the  Evening  Journal  of  Nov.  17th,  18G9. 

"Miss  O'Gorman's  Third  Lecture — The  Audience  In- 
tensely Interested — She  is  Invited  to  Repeat  the 
Lecture. — The  North  Baptist  Church  was  filled  last  evening 
to  its  full  capacity  by  one  of  the  most  intelligent  audiences 
ever  assembled  in  this  city,  to  listen  to  the  lecture  by  Miss 
Edith  0' Gorman  on  the  Roman  Catholic  Priesthood:  their 
rule  over  their  people,  and  what  it  leads  to.  Among  the  audi- 
ence we  noticed  several  of  our  clergymen,  many  of  our  most 
respectable  Catholic  citizens,  and  one-half  of  the  audience,  we 
should  judge,  were  ladies.  Every  seat  in  the  house  was  occu- 
pied, and  the  deepest  interest  in  the  lecture  was  manifest 
throughout.  The  effect  produced  by  the  lecture  may  be  esti- 
mated by  the  report  which  we  give  of  an  impromptu  meeting 
which  was  organized  immediately  after  the  lecture  for  the  pur- 
pose of  securing  its  repetition.  Before  the  introduction  of  the 
lecturer,  prayer  was  offered  by  Rev.  Dr.  Parmley.  Miss  0'- 
Gorman,  who  is  decidedly  prepossessing  in  appearance,  was 
neatly  attired  in  black ;  she  proceeded  in  a  clear,  musical  voice, 
and  very  distinct  utterance  to  deliver  her  lecture,  occupying  s* 
little  more  than  an  hour,  and  often  eliciting  the  most  hearty 
applause,  etc." 

From  the  Evening  Journal. 

"Repetition  of  Miss  O'Gorman's  Lecture. — Our  ref- 
ers will   remember  that  the  delivery  of  the  lecture  of  M5s» 


190  MY    WORK. 

O' Gorman  on  the  '  Romish  Priesthood/  a  few  evenings  since, 
in  the  North  Baptist  Church,  gave  so  much  satisfaction  to  the 
large  and  respectable  audience  which  listened  to  it,  that  an 
impromptu  meeting  was  held  at  the  close  of  the  lecture,  and  it 
was  voted  to  request  Miss  O' Gorman  to  repeat  it  in  this  city. 
A  committee  was  appointed  to  carry  out  the  resolution  of  the 
meeting,  and,  in  accordance  with  their  instructions,  they  have 
secured  the  repetition  of  the  lecture  on  Tuesday  evening  next, 
Nov.  30,  at  the  North  Baptist  Church,  in  Jersey  avenue.  The 
following  correspondence  explains  the  matter  fully : 

<  Jersey  City,  Nov.  16,  1869. 
Miss  Edith  O  Gorman : — At  a  meeting  held  in  the  Chapel  of 
the  North  Baptist  Church,  at  the  close  of  your  lecture  this 
evening,  a  resolution  was  adopted  that  you  be  requested  to  re- 
peat the  same,  and  the  undersigned  were  appointed  the  com- 
mittee to  convey  to  you  the  request.  In  carrying  out  the  di- 
rection of  the  meeting,  please  permit  us  to  earnestly  express 
to  you  the  desire  we  have  that  you  may  deem  it  compatible 
with  your  other  duties  to  comply.  We  believe  that  the  lessons 
inculcated  by  your  able  and  opportune  lecture  are  upon  mat- 
ters of  grave  importance  to  the  people,  and  about  which  it  is 
desirable  that  they  should  be  better  informed.  With  great  re- 
spect, Your  ob't  servants, 

Lewis  Neil, 

Wm.  A.  Lewis, 

Z.  K.  Pangborn,  \  Committee.' 

W.  B.  Dunning, 

A.  D.  Whyte, 


MY    WORK.  191 

<  Jersey  City,  Nov.  19,  1869. 
To  the  Gentlemen  of  the  Committee, — 

Very  Kind  Sirs : — Your  magnanimous  resolution  being  duly 
submitted,  has  been  read  with  the  deepest  feeling  of  gratitude 
for  the  very  high  honor  you  have  conferred  upon  me.  I  most 
gladly  comply  with  the  request  stated  in  the  resolution,  to  re- 
peat the  lecture  on  "  The  Roman  Catholic  Priesthood,"  on  any 
day  next  week  that  the  committee  may  deem  advisable.  Thank- 
in  or  the  o-entlemen  of  the  committee  for  their  noble  disinterest- 
ed  sympathy  and  support,  that  give  me  fresh  heart  and  strength 
in  my  undertaking, 

I  am,  Very  Respectfully  Yours, 

Edith  O'Gorman.'" 

Thus  encouraged  by  some  of  the  most  prominent  citizens  of 
Jersey  City,  and  despite  the  numerous  threats  made  by  igno- 
rant Catholics  to  shoot  me  in  the  pulpit,  and  regardless  of  the 
foul  calumny,  slanders,  and  persecutions  of  my  enemies,  I  pre- 
pared a  fourth  lecture,  entitled  "  The  Confessional,  etc.,"  and 
gave  it  in  the  largest  church  in  the  city,  which  I  procured  with- 
out any  further  difficulty  after  the  Baptists  had  bravely  paved 
the  way.  Many  of  the  Catholic  priests  attended  this  lecture, 
and  I  exposed  their  misdemeanors  to  their  very  faces.  Among 
those  present  was  Rev.  Father  Owens,  whom  my  readers  will 
remember  I  met  in  the  steerage  of  the  "  Siberia"  on  my  return 
voyage  from  Liverpool.  Bishop  Bayley  had  received  this  sus- 
pended priest  into  the  diocese  of  N.  J.,  making  him  an  assist- 
ant curate  with  Father  Corrigan  of  St.  Peter's  Church,  Jersey 

9 


192  MY    WORK. 

City.  Bishop  Bayley  seems  to  have  a  secret  sympathy  for  all 
renegade  priests,  for  reasons  best  known  to  himself.  I  exposed 
Father  Owens  to  his  face,  and  his  expulsion  from  Jersey  City 
was  the  result.  My  success  as  a  lecturer  was  wonderfully  es- 
tablished, as  the  following  editorial  will  show : 

From  the  Evening  Journal  of  December  loth. 

"Miss  O'Gorman  as  a  Lecturer. — Few  things  more  re- 
markable have  occurred  than  the  experience  and  success  of 
Miss  Edith  O' Gorman  as  a  public  lecturer.  She  came  here  a 
little  more  than  two  months  ago  without  money,  without  friends, 
without  any  existing  public  interest  in  the  subject  that  engross- 
ed her  own  thoughts.  She  came  with  only  a  fixed  purpose  of 
making  known  to  the  public  what  she  knows  and  believes  of 
the  errors  and  wrongs  of  the  Romish  system  of  religion.  She 
came  here  to  give  her  first  lecture,  because  it  was  here  that  she 
spent  her  Convent  life,  and  here  that  she  escaped  from  it  after 
being  so  foully  wronged ;  and  here  if  anywhere  her  enemies 
could  meet  her  face  to  face  if  they  should  dare  to  do  so.  She 
had  then  only  one  lecture  prepared  for  delivery,  and  had  never 
herself  heard  a  public  lecture  or  address  given  by  any  one,  ex- 
cept sermons  by  priests  and  ministers.  The  draft  of  her  first 
lecture  had  been  submitted  to  the  criticism  of  Ralph  Waldo 
Emerson — and  there  could  be  no  severer  critic — who  advised 
Miss  O' Gorman  to  carry  out  her  design  of  delivering  it  in  pub- 
lic, and  she  came  here  for  that  purpose.  But  up  to  that  mo- 
ment this  was  all  the  assistance  or  encouragement  she  had  re- 
ceived.    The  false  statement  "has  been  repeatedly  made  by  the 


MY    WORK.  193 

Standard  publicly,  and  by  individuals  privately,  that  Miss 
O' Gorman's  lectures  are  not  composed  or  written  by  herself. 
This  statement  we  personally  and  positively  know  to  be  false. 
For  whatever  merits  her  lectures  possess  Miss  O' Gorman  is 
alone  entitled  to  the  credit.  The  statements,  arguments,  and 
language  are  all  her  own.  Her  success  as  a  public  lecturer 
must  be  regarded  as  extraordinary.  Her  third  lecture  drew 
a  full  house  on  the  occasion  of  its  first  delivery,  and  an  equally 
large  audience  was  in  attendance  when  it  was  repeated ;  and 
her  fourth  lecture,  the  report  of  which  we  complete  to-day,  at- 
tracted a  larger  audience  to  the  Tabernacle  than  any  other 
lecture  of  the  season,  J.  B.  Gough's  included.  Yet  her  first  re- 
ception in  this  city  was  chilling  enough.  It  was  with  some 
difficulty  that  a  hall  was  procured  for  the  delivery  of  her  first 
lecture ;  the  only  favorable  public  notice  which  she  could  ob- 
tain was  given  to  her  by  the  Evening  Journal ;  the  first  at- 
tempts to  secure  the  use  of  churches  for  the  delivery  of  her 
lecture  failed  ;  most  knew  nothing  of  her,  or  what  she  proposed 
to  do,  others  doubted  her  capacity  or  her  worth,  others  feared 
that  there  would  be  mob  violence,  and  others  still  were  afraid 
that  it  might  not  be  just  the  proper  thing  to  encourage  or  in- 
dorse a  friendless  girl,  who  had  no  helpers  but  God  and  her 
own  conscientious  purpose ;  in  short,  the  welcome  she  received 
at  first  from  the  Protestant  Christian  community  was  of  the 
coldest  kind.  We  spoke,  as  we  felt  we  ought,  in  rebuke  of 
this  indifference  and  cowardice,  and  need  not  now  repeat  it. 
As  we  expected  the  result  would  be,  so  it  is  ;  Miss  O' Gorman 
has  now  no  lack  of  friends,  or  of  indorsers  of  the  course  she 


194  MY    WORK. 

has  chosen.  The  malice  and  slanders  of  her  enemies  have 
done  her  no  harm,  and  whatever  may  be  thought  of  her  views 
and  opinions,  no  one,  who  has  listened  to  or  read  her  lectures, 
can  doubt  either  her  sincerity  or  ability.  We  cannot  venture 
to  predict  what  the  result  of  her  efforts  may  be.  The  Church 
of  Rome  has  had  many  powerful  assailants  whom  she  has  re- 
sisted with  a  greater  or  less  degree  of  success.  The  attack 
made  by  Miss  O' Gorman  is  of  an  unprecedented  kind.  It 
comes  not  in  the  shape  of  sermons  from  the  pulpit,  or  essays 
from  the  press,  but  in  that  of  the  living  voice  of  a  wronged 
woman,  protesting  against  the  Church  which  has  both  misguid- 
ed and  wronged  her,  and  choosing  the  free  public  assembly  and 
lecturer's  platform  on  which  to  throw  down  the  gauntlet  of  de- 
fiance to  her  numerous  and  powerful  enemies.  The  American 
public,  even  without  hearing  her,  cannot  help  admiring  her 
courage.  When  they  have  heard  her,  they  will  concede  her 
ability  and  fitness  for  the  task  which  she  has  so  successfully 
commenced  in  this  city." 

I  lectured  seven  times  in  Jersey  City  in  less  than  two 
months.  In  the  brilliant  success  which  crowned  my  labor  I 
discerned  the  powerful  hand  of  God,  whose  strength  was  made 
perfect  in  my  weakness ;  and  to  Him  be  all  the  glory.  Al- 
though I  encountered  many  difficulties  and  annoyances  from 
JHy  enemies  through  their  unjust  calumnies  and  slanders,  yet  I 
never  for  a  single  moment  lost  my  peace  of  mind,  centered  as 
it  is  in  God.  One  of  the  effects  of  my  conversion  is,  that  my 
heart,  which  was  once  so  rebellious,  now  experiences  a  perfect 


MY    WORK.  195 

resignation  to  all  trials  and  persecutions  which  assail  me.  I 
can  now  endure  calumnies,  base  slanders,  unjust  suspicion,  and 
criticisms  with  the  same  equanimity  of  spirit  as  I  receive  laud- 
ation and  praise.  Silently  as  the  dews  of  Heaven  descend 
upon  the  flowers  of  the  field  and  cause  them  to  give  forth  their 
fragrance,  so  does  the  grace  of  God  descend  upon  my  new-born 
soul,  inspiring  it  with  the  ability  to  send  forth  good  deeds. 


^Hfe 


^ffc&tf^ 


CHAPTER    XXYI. 

THE    MADISON    RIOT   AND    ATTEMPTED    ASSASSINATION. 

The  North  Baptist  Church  in  Jersey  City  was  the  first 
Christian  church  hi  which  I  vindicated  truth,  and  in  that  church 
I  found  a  resting  place,  and  was  there  baptized  on  the  26th  of 
December,  1869,  by  the  Pastor,  Rev.  H.  A.  Cordo.  I  did  not 
connect  myself  with  this  church  because  my  salvation  depend- 
ed on  it ;  no,  my  salvation  depends  on  Christ  alone  ;  neither 
was  I  actuated  by  any  sectarian  motive,  because  I  regard  all 
denominations,  which  are  united  in  the  One  Head,  Jesus  Christ, 
as  equal. 

In  March,  1870,  I  addressed  the  New  York  East,  and  New- 
ark Conferences  of  M.  E.  Ministers.     With  reference  to  that 
address  I  give  the  following  newspaper  extract  under  date  of 
March  26th. 
'The  Third  day  of  the  Newark  M.  E.  Conference — 

Edith  0' Gorman  before  the  conference. 

Before  the   appointed  hour  to  hear  Miss  Edith  O' Gorman, 

St.  Paul's  Church  was  crowded  to  overflowing,  not  a  foot  of 

standing  room  could  be  had,    and  many  went  away  unable  to 

gain   admittance.     This  was   the  largest  gathering  since  the 

(196) 


ATTEMPTED    ASSASSINATION.  197 

conference  met,  and  the  deepest  interest  to  hear  the  "  Convert- 
ed Nun,"  was  visibly  manifested  throughout  the  congregation. 
In  introducing  Miss  O' Gorman,  Rev.  L.  R.  Dunn  said  the  lady 
who  was  about  to  speak  was  well  known  in  this  city.  She  has 
come  before  the  public  from  time  to  time,  and  given  her  ex- 
perience of  the  inner  life  of  convents.  She  has  been  requested 
to  come  here  this  afternoon  and  give  us  an  inside  view  of 
Romanism.  We  know  her,  and  her  statements  may  be  taken 
with  the  utmost  confidence.  She  has  renounced  Romanism, 
and  has  connected  herself  with  a  christian  church  in  this  city, 

Rev.  Mr.  Parsons,  who  heard  me  for  the  first  time  at  this 
conference,  engaged  me  to  lecture  in  his  church  in  Madison, 
N.  J.,  for  a  benevolent  purpose,  which  engagement  I  fulfilled 
on  the  evenings  of  the  14th  and  15th  of  April,  1869.  Through 
the  expositions  which  I  made  in  my  lectures  to  Protestant 
parents  of  the  danger  of  placing  their  children  in  convent 
schools,  St.  Elizabeth's  Academy  in  Madison  was  stripped  of 
its  Protestant  support.  So  when  I  visited  Madison,  the  Cath- 
olics resolved  to  silence  my  voice  forever,  as  the  following  re- 
port published  April  16th,  1870,  will  explain: 

"EDITH  O' GORMAN  MOBBED. 

AN    ATTEMPT    TO    KILL    HER. 

A  disgraceful  riot  at  Madison — Miss  O  Gorman  lectures  and  the 
Catholics  assail  her—^'llie  house  where  she  stays  guarded. 
Miss  Edith  O' Gorman,  so  well  known  here   as  a  public  lec- 
turer, gave  lectures  at  Madison,  Morris  County,  on  Thursday 


198  ATTEMPTED    ASSASSINATION. 

and  Friday  evenings  of  this  week,  and  last  night  a  disgrace- 
nil  riot  was  created  by  some  of  the  Roman  Catholic  popula- 
tion of  that  place,  and  an  attempt  was  made  to  shoot  Miss 
O' German.  Madison  was  the  place  where  Miss  O' Gorman 
first  entered  the  Roman  Catholic  sisterhood  as  a  nun,  and  the 
headquarters  of  the  order  to  which  she  once  belonged  is 
located  there.  The  lectures  which  she  delivered  at  Madison 
were  advertised,  that  on  "  Convent  Life,"  for  Thursday,  that 
on  the  "  Romish  Priesthood  "  for  last  evening,  and  both  were 
delivered  in  the  Methodist  Church  before  audiences  that  com- 
pletely filled  the  building.  Many  persons  on  both  evenings 
went  away  unable  to  get  into  the  church.  On  Thursday  eve-r 
ning  Miss  0' Gorman  was  frequently  and  rudely  interrupted 
by  Catholics  in  the  audience,  and  much  disturbance  was  cre- 
ated both  inside  and  outside  of  the  house,  but  no  personal 
violence  was  offered.  Threats,  however,  were  freely  made, 
that  if  Miss  O' Gorman  attempted  to.  lecture  last  night,  all  the 
Roman  Catholics  within  five  miles  should  be  assembled,  and 
Miss  O'  Gorman  should  be  "  done  for." 

"Last  night  the  church  was  again  filled,  and  Miss  O' Gorman 
gave  her  lecture  as  advertised.  There  was  no  disturbance  in- 
side the  room  during  the  delivery  of  the  lecture,  but  a  vast 
mob  gathered  outside,  and  several  attempts  were  made  by 
persons  to  get  in  at  the  windows,  and  there  was  yelling  and 
•uproar  about  the  building.  When  Miss  O'  Gorman,  at  the 
conclusion  of  the  lecture,  came  out  of  the  church  in  company 
with  Rev.  Mr.  Parsons,  who  was  her  escort,  and  went  to  get 
into  the  carriage  which  was  in  waiting,  a  rush  was  made  by 


ATTEMPTED    ASSASSINATION.  199 

the  mob,  a  frightful  yelling  was  raised,  and  all  sorts  of  abusive 
languaga  were  used.  The  crowd  closed  around  Miss  O'  Gor- 
man, but  were  kept  back  partially  by  a  strong  body-guard  of 
the  students  of  Drew  Seminary.  The  horse  attached  to  the 
carriage  was  frightened  and  ran,  but  was  caught  and  stopped, 
and  with  much  difficulty  Miss  O' Gorman  and  Mr.  Parsons 
entered  the  carriage.  Just  as  Miss  0' Gorman  stepped  into  it, 
a  pistol  shot  was  fired  directly  at  her,  but  fortunately  the  ball 
missed  its  aim,  passing  over  her  head,  and  the  carriage 
was  driven  rapidly  away  to  the  parsonage,  followed  by  both 
crowds,  Catholics,  among  whom  were  a  large  number  of  women, 
and  the  students  and  other  persons,  who  were  Miss  O' Gorman's 
friends.  On  arriving  at  the  house  it  was  surrounded  by  the 
mob,  and  stones  were  thrown  and  violent  language  used,  but 
Miss  O' Gorman  was  safely  escorted  into  the  parsonage.  A 
strong  guard  of  citizens  surrounded  the  house,  some  constables 
assisting  them,  and  nearly  all  the  students  of  the  seminary  aid- 
ing in  repelling  the  mob,  which  did  not  disperse  until  midnight. 
The  students  guarded  the  house  till  this  morning,  and  then  sent 
a  deputation  of  their  number  on  the  train  to  escort  Miss 
0'  Gorman  safely  to  her  home  in  this  city. 

"That  she  is  as  fearless  a  public  speaker  as  any  man  or  woman 
that  ever  stood  on  the  rostrum  on  in  the  pulpit,  we  think  even 
her  enemies  will  admit.  They  must  not  think  they  can  advan- 
tage their  cause  by  demonstrations  of  violence  towards  her. . 
A  church  or  an  organization  that  cannot  meet  the  attack  of 
one  woman  in  any  way  but  by  such  assaults  as  were  made  at 
Madison  must  be  weak  indeed. 


200  ATTEMPTED    ASSASSINATION. 

"This  affair  has  created  intense  excitement  in  and  around 
Madison.  It  is  not  known  who  fired  the  shot,  but  the  leaders 
of  the  mob  are  known,  and  the  authorities  will  take  measures 
to  bring  the  guilty  parties  to  justice." 

God  being  my  protector  I  was  not  intimidated  by  the  at- 
tempted assassination.  I  was  laboring  in  a  good  cause,  and 
if  my  Master  required  my  life  I  was  ready  and  willing  to  sac- 
rifice it  for  the  sake  of  Him  who  was  crucified  for  me.  I  felt 
immortal  until  His  work  was  done.  In  three  days  after  the 
riot  I  fulfilled  an  engagement  to  lecture  in  Morristown,  about 
four  miles  from  Madison,  and  was  there  received  with  great 
enthusiasm.  Of  these  lectures  the  Morristown  paper  in  an 
issue  of  April  27th,  1870,  says  : 

"  Washington  Hall  last  evening  was  densely  filled  by  a  very 
select  and  intelligent  audience,  all  intent  and  eager  to  hear 
Miss  O' Gorman  deliver  her  lecture  on  '  Indigencies/  Her 
remarks  during  the  delivery  and  at  the  conclusion  of  the  lec- 
ture elicited  the  most  intense  and  deafening  applause,  the  style 
in  some  cases  exhibiting  her  penchant  for  humorous  colloquy, 
and  at  other  times  rising  into  high  and  classical  diction. 

"At  the  close  a  few  remarks  were  made  by  Rev.  Mr.  Parsons, 
under  whose  auspices  the  lectures  were  given,  who  took  occa- 
sion to  publicly  thank  the  citizens  of  Morristown  for  their  re- 
spectful attention,  and  the  kind  interest  and  sympathy  mani- 
fested in  favor  of  Miss  0' Gorman;  and  he  then  donated  to  the 
Grand  Army  of  the  Republic  of  Morristown,  an  amount  of 
money  equal  to  that  received  at  the  previous  lecture.  All 
persons  who  desired,  whether  Roman  Catholics  or  Protestants, 


ATTEMPTED    ASSASSINATION.  201 

were  cordially  invited  to  come  on  the  rostrum  and  be  person- 
ally presented  to  Miss  O'  Gorman.  Many  of  both  sects  gladly 
availed  themselves  of  the  coveted  opportunity,  after  which,  ac- 
companied by  her  escort,  she  quietly  went  to  the  U.  S.  Hotel, 
notwithstanding  the  New  York  Sun's  correspondence  to  the  con- 
trary. Her  lectures  here  have  been  a  decided  success,  and  all 
express  a  unanimous  desire  to  have  her  speak  again,  and 
nowhere  will  Miss  O' Gorman  receive  a  warmer  or  more  cor 
dial  welcome  than  by  the  good  citizens  of  Morristown,  whose 
law  abiding,  order  loving  proclivities  of  free  speech  are  appar- 
ent to  all.  Miss  0' Gorman  as  a  sj3eaker  certainly  ranks 
among  the  first  of  her  sex.  Her  appearance  and  manner  on 
the  rostrum  are  excellent,  enunciation  clear  and  distinct,  appeals 
eloquent  and  earnest,  and  marked  throughout  by  a  simplicity 
of  manner,  and  the  unmistakeable  stamp  of  a  true  lady.  She 
is  doing  a  great  and  noble  work,  and  the  prayer  of  every  lover 
of  truth  is  that  God  will  strengthen,  aid,  and  protect  her,  as 
He  certainly  will,  in  her  vindication  of  truth,  and  exposure  of 
guilt  and  corruption.  By  her  extreme  courtesy,  affableness  of 
manner  and  lady-like  deportment  she  completely  won  the 
esteem,  sympathy,  and  affection  of  all  who  met  her." 

In  condemnation  of  the  Madison  riot  the  Newark  Courier 
says : 

"If  proof  were  needed  of  the  truth  of  Miss  O' Gorman's 
charges,  it  would  be  found  in  such  demonstrations  as  that  which 
took  place  at  Madison,  in  the  cowardly  attempt  to  shoot  a  de- 
fenseless woman.  Such  gross  disregard  of  law  and  order  is  a 
shame  and  disgrace  to  the  good  name  of  New  Jersey,  and  which 


202  ATTEMPTED    ASSASSINATION. 

should  not  be  passed  by  unnoticed.  Let  each  and  all  the 
cowardly  scoundrels  be  seized  and  brought  to  justice;  and  let 
the  law  they  have  outraged  be  vindicated  to  the  fullest  possible 
extent,  and  we  shall  certainly  be  disappointed  if  the  responsi- 
ble heads  of  the  Roman  Catholic  church  in  this  vicinity  do  not 
only  disavow  all  sympathy  with  the  rioters,  but  also  lend  their 
assistance  in  securing  their  conviction  and  punishment." 

On  the  contrary,  however,  the  responsible  heads  of  the 
Roman  Catholic  church  made  every  effort  to  free  the  rioters, 
and  the  result  was  that  through  Catholic  influence  the  would- 
be  assassin  was  not  convicted,  although  there  were  witnesses 
who  could  swear  to  his  identity,  and  when  the  witnesses  were 
called  the  Grand  Jury  refused  to  hear  them,  and  the  rioters 
were  set  free  without  even  a  fine  or  reprimand. 

Dear  readers,  is  not  this  a  powerful  evidence  of  the  foothold 
Catholicism  holds  in  the  United  States  ?  Is  it  not  most  alarm- 
ing that  Rome  in  this  free  country  and  age  can  thus  defeat  the 
ends  of  justice  by  its  insidious  outworks  ?  A  creed  too,  which 
carries  with  it  "  Gunpowder  plots,"  "  blood  inquisitions,"  and 
"  St.  Bartholomew  massacres,"  which  instigates  crime  and  over- 
rides the  law  !  And  here  I  ask  in  the  name  of  humanity,  why 
are  Catholics  allowed  in  tins  land  of  freedom  thus  to  suppress 
any  judicial  interference  with  their  despotism,  and  prevent  any 
discussion  even  of  their  creed?  In  other  words,  why  will 
American  Protestants  suffer  the  aggressions  of  Romanism  to 
interfere  with  the  liberty  of  their  government  ?  to  prevent  and 
dwarf  the  growth  of  their  institutions  ?  Will  it  ever  be  writ- 
ten by  the  future  historian  that  the  Papal   Power  was  trans- 


ATTEMPTED    ASSASSINATION.  203 

ferred  from  Rome  to  the  United  States  ?  that  the  Jesuits  de- 
spoiled the  rightful  possessors  of  their  free  government  ?  The 
Roman  Catholic  priests  are  cunning,  and  yet  exhibit  in  the  pres- 
ent age  an  unprecedented  boldness.  Things  are  coming  rapidly 
to  an  issue,  and  the  signs  of  a  mighty  struggle  are  multiplying, 
and  may  soon  bring  a  crisis  so  solemn  and  momentous  as  to 
shake  to  their  foundation  the  errors  of  the  Roman  Catholic 
church.  I  have  no  fear  for  the  ultimate  issue,  for  truth  will 
obtain  the  supremacy,  and  God  will  protect  his  own. 


WU^ 


CHAPTER     XXVII. 

THE    EFFORT    TO    SILENCE    ME    BY    UNFOUNDED    SLANDERS. 

"  Blessed  are  ye  when  men  shall  revile  you  and  persecute 
you,  and  shall  say  all  manner  of  evil  against  you  falsely  for 
My  sake."  There  are  some  men  who  can  only  war  with  de- 
fenceless women,  and  among  these  I  will  particularly  classify 
the  editors  of  the  Paterson  Guardian  and  the  Jersey  City 
American  Standard,  who  leveled  their  spite  against  me  in  base 
insinuations  and  invectives,  which  I  patiently  overlooked  and 
silently  contemned.  My  enemies,  having  failed  to  silence  the 
voice  of  truth  by  an  attenrpted  assassination,  resort  to  the  most 
malicious  calumny,  in  which  a  Catholic  reporter,  in  the  columns 
of  the  New  York  Sun,  charges  me  with  swindling  Sadlier  & 
Co.,  a  Catholic  publishing  house,  and  Turgis,  a  Catholic  picture 
dealer.  My  enemies,  thinking  I  would  also  silently  overlook 
this  charge,  however,  mistook  me,  for  this  new  and  malicious 
attack  fired  my  soul  with  indignation,  and  alone  and  unpro- 
tected I  confronted  Sadlier  and  Turgis ;  they  protested  they 
knew  nothing  about  it,  and  no  such  reports  had  originated  from 
them.  I  then  jDroceeded  to  the  Sun  office  and  requested  a  re- 
porter to  accompany  me  to  those  houses  and  have  the  false 

(204) 


THE    EFFORT    TO    SILENCE    ME.  205 

charges  refuted.  However,  I  was  put  off  until  four  p.  m.,  and 
in  the  meantime  I  returned  to  my  residence,  where  I  found 
Rev.  Mr.  Parsons  of  Madison,  who,  in  company  with  Mrs.  H. 
M.  Dunning,  proceeded  with  me  to  the  Sun  office  at  the  ap- 
pointed time.  Securing  a  reporter,  we  visited  the  Catholic 
firms,  who  were  put  to  the  greatest  confusion  and  humiliation 
by  our  visit ;  and  the  result  was  that  the  barefaced  falsehoods 
of  the  Catholics  recoiled  upon  their  own  heads,  as  the  following 
publication  of  April  27th  truthfully  details : 

"Miss  O'Gorman's  Slanderers — Their  Charges  Re- 
futed.— The  New  York  Sun  published  on  the  25th  an  article 
in  which  it  was  stated  that  Miss  Edith  O' Gorman,  'after  she 
was  expelled  from  the  Convent/  obtained  money  under  false 
pretences  from  two  firms  in  New  York,  Sadlier  &  Co.,  and 
Turds  &  Co.  These  are  both  Catholic  houses.  There  was  a 
double  falsehood  in  the  statement,  for  Miss  O' Gorman  never 
was  expelled  from  any  Convent,  and  never  applied  for  nor  got 
a  dollar  from  either  of  those  houses  since  she  left  the  Convent 
and  the  'Order'  to  which  she  belonged.  She  acted  very 
promptly  in  meeting  these  slanders.  She  called  first  alone  on 
both  houses  and  demanded  to  know  if  they  authorized  any 
such  slanderous  statements  as  were  published.  They  disavow- 
ed all  knowledge  of  such  reports,  and  were  very  much  disposed 
to  entreat  her  to  cease  giving  lectures  and  troubling  the 
'  Church,'  but  she  informed  them  that  she  did  not  appear  there 
to  receive  advice,  but  to  have  them  do  justice  by  refuting  the 


20G  THE    EFFORT    TO    SILENCE    ME. 

false  reports  which  they  knew  to  be  false.  At  both  places  the 
result  was  that  the  persons  connected  with  these  firms  declared 
that  Miss  O' Gorman  was  never  before  in  their  houses  except 
in  the  nun's  dress,  and  when,  as  a  nun,  she  purchased  books 
and  pictures  for  the  Convent.  So  the  slander  in  the  Sun  was 
effectually  disposed  of.  Miss  O' Gorman  next  solicited  a  re- 
porter of  the  Sun  to  accompany  her  to  the  places  of  business 
of  these  two  firms,  and  hear  their  retraction  from  themselves. 
In  company  with  the  reporter,  and  with  Rev.  Mr.  Parsons  of 
Madison,  the  visit  was  paid,  and  after  much  hesitation  and  dodg- 
ing, and  with  great  reluctance,  similar  admissions  were  made 
by  the  parties  of  the  falsity  of  the  reports  published.  Thus 
promptly  Miss  O' Gorman  secured  a  refutation  of  this  latest 
slander.  What  the  next  false  accusation  will  be  against  the 
lady,  no  one  can  tell,  but  whatever  it  is  it  will  be  promptly 
met.  An  incident  reported  by  the  Sun  illustrates  the  style  of 
doing  things  adopted  by  some  of  Miss  0' Gorman's  enemies. 
In  the  presence  of  Rev.  Mr.  Parsons  and  the  Sun  reporter, 
the  clerk  of  Sadlier  &  Co.,  said  that  the  fact  of  Sister  '  Teresa ' 
having  applied  for  a  loan  '  was  reported  by  letter  to  Mother 
Xavier,  and  she  returned  a  reply  that  no  sister  was  empowered 
to  borrow  money  or  contract  debts  by  her,  nevertheless,  she 
would  pay  back  the  money,  and  did  send  it  to  them,  requesting 
them  not  to  lend  money  again  to  any  of  the  Sisters,  as  she 
would  not  pay  it.'  Now  for  the  trap  that  caught  Sadlier's 
clerk.  At  Miss  O' Gorman's  request  Rev.  Mr.  Parsons  went, 
immediately  after  hearing  these  accounts,  to  Madison,  called  on 


THE    EFFORT    TO    SILENCE    ME.  207 

Mother  Xavier,  who,  of  course,  knew  nothing  of  the  interviews 
with  the  New  York  Catholics,  and  inquired  if  she  had  any 
such  correspondence  with  either  of  these  houses.  She  told 
Rev.  Mr.  Parsons  that  she  never  received  nor  wrote  any  letters 
on  any  such  subject,  and  knew  nothing  about  such  a  loan  !  Rev. 
Mr.  Parsons  telegraphed  to  the  Sun  the  result  of  his  interview 
with  Mother  Xavier.  We  think  that  will  do.  The  parties 
can  settle  between  themselves  which  lied  about  the  business. 
We  have  given  this  account  of  this  affair,  not  because  the 
slanders  were  likely  to  injure  Miss  0' Gorman,  but  to  show  the 
fashion  in  which  her  enemies  attack  her,  and  how  ready  she  is 
to  meet  all  their  attacks." 

Another  slander,  in  which  Catholics  tried  to  justify  the  Madi- 
son riot,  appeared  in  the  Sun  ;  which,  while  it  was  malicious, 
was  so  stupid  that  its  falsity  appeared  on  the  surface.  This 
slander  originated  from  a  Paterson  correspondent,  who,  al- 
though he  did  not  sign  any  name,  I  have  no  hesitancy  in  pro- 
nouncing Dr.  Quin  (he  who  was  so  ignominiously  defeated  in 
his  controversy  with  me)  as  the  author  of  the  letter.  The 
Journal  of  Jersey  City  thus  speaks  of  it : 

"  Some  base  and  foolish  persons  among  the  Roman  Catholics 
seemed  determined  to  supplement  the  disgraceful  mob  violence, 
and  the  attempt  to  assassinate  Miss  Edith  O'  Gorman  at  Madi- 
son, by  the  most  reckless  forgeries  and  stupid  lying.  The 
N.  Y.  Sun  of  this  morning  publishes  a  letter  dated  at  Paterson 
yesterday,  but  not  signed  by  anybody,  which  illustrates  the 


208  THE  EFFORT  TO  SILENCE  ME. 

foolish  and  blind  fury  of  some  of  those  Roman  Catholics  who 
are  enraged  by  Miss  O'  Gorman's  public  charges  against  the 
Church  and  hierarchy.     The  letter  in  the  Sun  is,  from  begin- 
ning to  end,  an  unbroken  string  of  forgeries  and  lies.     The 
Sun  heads  it  '  The  Roman  Catholic  side  of  the  Madison  riot,' 
showing  that  the  Sun  knows  the  author  to  be  a  Roman  Catho- 
lie.     But  the  letter  does  not  contain  one  word  in  reference  to 
Miss  O'  Gorman's  lecture  at  Madison,  nor  does  the  writer  ven- 
ture to  say  a  word  in  contradiction  of  the  disgraceful  facts  of 
that  Roman  Catholic  riot,  and  attempt  to  murder  a  woman. 
The  writer  commences  with  this  sentence  :     '  The  riot  at  Madi- 
son, where  Edith  0' Gorman  is  well  known,  ought  to  end  her 
denunciatory  tour.'     Well,  it  was  the  intention  of  those  who 
raised  that  mob  and  riot  that  it  should  end  her  lecturing,  for 
they  threatened  that  they  would  take  her  life,  and  did  attempt 
to  murder  her.     But  their  intention  was  foiled.     The  letter  in 
the  Sun  states  that  Miss  O'  Gorman  was  '  expelled  from  the  or- 
der and  the  Convent.'     That  is  a  falsehood,  as  everybody  here 
and  in  Hudson  City  knows.     The  letter  again  says  that  Miss 
O' Gorman  was  sent  to  Hoboken,  that  she  did  certain  things  in 
Hoboken.     Now  Miss  O'  Gorman  never  was  at  Hoboken  in 
her  life,  except  to  pass  through  the  place  as  a  traveler.     But 
to  show  how  scurvy  and  silly  a  liar  the  Paterson  Roman  Catho- 
lic is,  we  quote  one  of  his  statements.     'On  account  of  what 
had  transpired  at  Hoboken  Miss  O' Gorman  was  expelled  from 
the  Convent,  and  we  next  hear  of  her  in  an  editor's  office  in 
Jersey  City,  where  she  was  found  by  the  editorial  better  half. 


THE    EFFORT    TO    SILENCE    ME.  209 

The  incensed  wife  of  the  editor  handled  her  roughly,  notwith- 
standing the  editor  declared  she  was  only  helping  him  to  read 
proof.'  Not  only  is  that  totally  false  in  every  line  and  word, 
but  there  was  never  any  circumstance  or  occurrence  at  any 
time  or  of  any  sort  which  could  afford  even  the  slightest  found- 
ation for  the  lie.  It  is  a  willful  lie,  made  up  without  the  faint- 
est shadow  of  fact  to  originate  it.  But  a  score  of  similar  lies 
have  been  concocted  and  told  here,  none  of  them  receiving  any 
credence  in  this  community,  even  by  the  Catholic  population. 
Who  originates  these  silly  and  malicious  lies  we  don't  know, 
nor  do  they  deserve  any  notice,  except  as  showing  that  the 
only  weapons  which  Miss  O' Gorman's  enemies  seem  to  know 
how  or  dare  to  use  are  lying,  slander,  and  forgery,  resorted  to 
by  those  who  do  know  enough  to  use  such  base  means,  and 
mob  violence,  and  assassination,  to  winch  the  lower,  more  igno- 
rant, and  more  excitable  class  of  Miss  O' Gorman's  haters  seem 
to  take  naturally." 

My  reputation  was  in  the  hands  of  my  Master,  and  I  knew 
He  would  take  care  of  it ;  and  if  for  a  time  He  permitted  the 
foul  breath  of  slander  to  attack  my  fair  name,  it  was  only  to 
add  to  my  future  glory  and  the  humiliation  of  my  enemies, 
who  thus  sought  to  vanquish  me,  only  to  find  themselves  van- 
quished and  put  to  confusion,  while  I  remained  clad  in  the 
strong  armor  of  truth,  honor,  and  integrity.  "  Blessed  are 
they  who  suffer  persecution  for  righteousness  sake,  for  theirs  is 
the  kingdom  of  heaven,"  is  the  soothing  promise  which  fell 
from  the  lips  of  the  Man  of  Sorrows,  who  was  reviled,  calum- 


210 


THE    EFFORT    TO    SILENCE    ME. 


niated,  and  persecuted,  although  He  was  the  Son  of  God,  the 
essence  of  goodness,  the  King  of  Heaven.  Although  my  en- 
emies for  a  while  compassed  me  about  on  every  side,  yet  I 
feared  no  evil,  because  the  Lord  was  my  defense.  "Yea 
though  I  walk  through  the  valley  of  the  shadow  of  death  I 
will  fear  no  evil,  for  Thou  art  with  me ;  Thy  rod  and  Thj 
staff  they  comfort  me." 


CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

GOD    BLESSES    MY   WORK   IN    THE    CONVERSION    OF    MANY. 

There  is  no  greater  proof  needed  to  convince  my  readers 
that  my.  work  is  of  God  and  blessed  by  him  than  the  evidence 
contained  in  the  following  recital  of  facts.  In  Newark,  N.  J., 
two  Catholic  families  were  brought  to  see  the  errors  of  their 
religion,  through  my  instrumentality,  and  others  in  Jersey  City, 
Hudson  City,  and  New  York.  Many  Protestant  parents  have 
discontinued  the  catholic  education  of  their  children  by  with- 
drawing them  from  convent  schools.  Amonof  other  catholics 
converted  through  my  influence,  is  my  own  brother  who  has 
entered  on  probation  in  the  M.  E.  Church  ;  also  two  young 
ladies  of  Hudson  City  who  were  formerly  my  pupils,  one  of 
these  was  not  only  converted  but  was  saved  the  awful  fate  of 
entering  a  convent  whither  the  Sisters  were  trying  to  entice 
her,  and  to  whom  she  was  on  the  point  of  yielding. 

Besides  these  evidences  of  the  power  of  God  which  have 
come  to  my  personal  knowledge,  there  are  similar  conversions 
which  have  been  the  result  of  my  lectures  in  the  different 
places  I  have  visited.  It  is  not  yet  one  year  since  I  com- 
menced to  lecture,  and  in  this  short  time  my  practical  success 

(211) 


212  MY    WORK    BLESSED. 

exceeds  any  of  my  more  popular  cotemporaries  in  the  same 
field.  During  the  lecturing  season  I  have  lectured  seven  times 
in  Jersey  City,  four  times  in  Cooper  Institute,  New  York  City, 
sixteen  times  in  Newark,  twice  in  Madison,  Morristown, 
Bayonne  City,  Hackensack,  and  Parsippany,  N.  J.,  once  in 
SuiTrens,  Port  Jervis,  and  Middletown,  N.  Y.,  four  times  in 
"Brooklyn,  twice  in  Nyack,  once  in  Hartford,  Buffalo,  Roches- 
ter, Cincinnati,  Chicago,  and  Paterson,  four  times  in  Philadel- 
phia, and  Cape  May — making  sixty-one  lectures  in  about  four 
months  :  besides  having  invitations  to  Washington,  Harrisburg, 
Pittsburg,  Baltimore,  St.  Louis,  Wilmington,  Boston,  Portland, 
Cleveland,  and  many  other  of  the  principal  cities  of  the  Union, 
but  most  of  which  I  have  been  forced  to  decline  because  em- 
ployed in  the  preparation  of  this  work. 

I  have  been  supported  by  crowded  houses,  and  by  the  pop- 
ular good  will  through  the  Press,  especially  the  religious 
organs  which  speak  of  my  mission  as  from  God.  The  Phila- 
delphia M.  E.  Home  Journal  of  May  14th,  in  an  editorial  on 
my  lectures  in  that  city,  thus  says  : 

"  The  great  entertainment  of  the  week  to  the  citizens  of 
Philadelphia,  has  been  the  lectures  of  Edith  O'Gorman,  the 
escaped  Nun,  who  on  each  night  addressed  large  and  enthusi- 
astic audiences  on  "  Convent  Life,  and  the  Romish  School 
System,"  and  the  "  Confessional,"  Indulgences  and  Papal  Su- 
premacy. Having  listened  to  her  lectures  we  are  prepared  to 
hail  the  appearance  of  this  lady  as  a  champion  of  truth,  worthy 
and  well  qualified  to  combat  and  expose  the  formidable  errors 
and  evils  of  Popery.     Miss  O'Gorman,  late  Sister  Teresa,  has 


MY    WORK    BLESSED.  213 

tasted  practically  the  imaginary  blessedness  of  convent  life. 
She  fied  from  its  polluted  atmosphere  to  save  that  which  is 
dearer  to  her  than  life — her  purity,  honor  and  peace  ;  but  with 
the  stino-ino:  remembrance  burned  into  her  soul  of  unnamed 
iniquities.  She  has  knelt  with  the  unquestioning  obedience 
of  a  blind  devotee  at  the  confessional  until  her  reason  revolted, 
and  her  ears  tingled  with  very  shame  ;  and  instead  of  finding 
what  she  sought — soul-repose  in  seclusion,  and  ardently  desired 
perfection  in  penance  and  idolatrous  devotion  to  Mary,  and  a 
multitude  of  Saints, — she  fled  for  refuge  to  Christ  Jesus,  and 
with  her  former  heart  idols,  and  the  faith  she  entertained  in 
Mother  Church  all  shattered,  she  has  found  redemption  through 
His  blood,  even  the  forgiveness  of  sins. 

"  With  the  new  found  light,  and  love  of  the  gospel  in  her 
heart,  there  is  nothing  vindictive  or  vituperative  apparent  in 
her  chaste  and  eloquent  periods.  With  pity  she  turns  to  the 
multitude  of  her  former  associates,  who  grope  in  darkness  and 
terror  through  a  life  of  ignorance,  wretchedness  and  sin,  and  are 
dying  without  the  true  knowledge  of  God,  and  kindly  points 
out  to  them  the  better  way.  Her  mission  in  this  regard  can- 
not fail  in  producing  great  good.  In  appearance  and  manner 
she  is  somewhat  below  the  medium  stature,  possesses  a  fine 
and  pleasing  personnel,  an  eye  that  fairly  blazes  with  the  enthu- 
siasm of  her  theme,  and  a  voice  of  remarkable  distinctness, 
compass,  and  pathos,  with  a  fine  emphasis,  slightly  betraying 
her  Dublin  nativity,  and  capable  of  filling  the  largest  hall,  and 
reaching  the  ear  and  heart  of  assembled  thousands. 

"  Her  reception  before  a  Philadelphia  audience  was  unmis- 


214  MY    WORK    BLESSED. 

takably  cordial.  Repeated  bursts  of  applause  almost  shook 
the  dome  as  she  laid  bare  the  absurdity  and  folly  of  Romish 
tradition,  described  the  mumbling  mode  of  prayer  on  the  beads, 
and  repeated  the  preposterous  form  of  priestly  absolution.  Oc- 
casionally a  keen  shaft  of  satire  flashed  forth  as  the  thought 
of  her  own  personal  grief,  and  the  malignant  persecutions  which 
assail  her  came  up  incidentally  for  review.  That  her  life 
is  in  jeopardy  she  seems  to  be  fully  aware,  but  having  taken 
shelter  beneath  the  protecting  arm  of  the  Almighty,  she  fears 
no  evil.  She  stands  defiant  before  the  two-edged  sword  of 
Jesuitical  malice,  and  rings  out  in  tones  of  unvarnished  truth 
to  Protestant  parents  and  the  unsuspecting  citizens  of  this  free 
land  the  tocsin  of  alarm  against  machinations  which  with 
stealthy  and  tireless  step  are  compassing  sea  and  land,  to  sub- 
vert virtue,  conscience  and  morality. 

"  The  topics  she  treated  in  her  lectures  embraced  many 
features  of  the  political,  as  well  as  educational,  and  religious 
system  of  the  Romish  Church.  If  she  will  only  embody  her 
experience  and  observations  in  a  book,  and  we  think  she  is 
competent  to  do  this  as  it  has  never  been  accomplished  before, 
such  a  book  will  prove  a  thunder-clap  in  the  clear  sky  of  that 
indolent,  insolent,  and  unscrupulous  hierarchy  that  now 
dreams  of  an  easy  conquest  of  the  land  of  the  Puritans  as  an 
Empire  for  the  re-enactment  of  the  tragedies  of  the  Inquisi- 
tion, a  domain  where  human  liberty  must  die,  and  dark  ages 
come  again.  Should  Miss  0' Gorman  again  visit  and  speak  in 
our  city,  winch  we  hope  she  will,  those  who  heard  her  on  the 
occasion  of  her  first  appearance  here,  will  be  the  most  eager, 


MY   WORK   BLESSED.  9,15 

we  have  no  doubt,  to  secure  front  seats,  and  hear  her  again. 
She  is  a  communicant  in  the  Baptist  Church,  and  on  principle 
never  speaks  to  an  audience  until  preceded  by  prayer  to  God 
for  guidance  and  grace  in  the  dangerous  and  glorious  career 
on  which  she  has  entered." 

Dear  readers,  I  have  given  you  several  extracts  from  the 
press,  extolling  my  work  because  I  deem  it  the  most  modest 
manner  in  which  may  be  recounted,  without  appearing  egotis- 
tical, the  wonderful  success  with  which  God  has  blessed  my 
labors.  Oh,  how  deeply  my  heart  feels  that  the  Lord  is  my 
Shepherd !  Indeed,  I  shall  not  want  for  I  trust  in  Him  who 
hath  made  me  to  lie  down  in  green  pastures,  and  who  leadeth 
me  beside  the  clear  waters. 


10 


CHAPTER     XXIX. 


FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED. 


In  June,  1870,  a  creature   signing  himself  Thomas   Oscar 
Roland  Keatinge,  D.  D.,  LL.  D.,  came  to  the  Third  Reformed 
Church,  Jersey   City,   and  lectured  on  the  Inquisition.     He 
pretended  that  he  had  been  ten  years  in  Rome ;  an  official  in 
the  Roman  Court ;  Secretary  to  the  late   Cardinal  d' Andrea, 
and  assistant  librarian  in  the  Index  Expurgatorius.     He  wrote 
an  article  entitled  "  Ten  Years  in  Rome,"  which  appeared  in 
the  Galaxy  of  December,  1869.     This  article  is  a  production 
of  his  inventive  imagination.     In  it  he  describes  the  death  of 
Cardinal  d' Andrea  as  having  occurred  on  the  2 2d  of  March, 
1865 ;  whereas  it  is  ascertained  by  good  authority  that  Cardi- 
nal d' Andrea  died  in  Rome  on  the  14th  of  May,  1868,  three 
years  and  two  months  after  "  Dr."  Keatinge  had  him  dead  and 
buried.     The  late  Cardinal  d' Andrea  never  had  a  secretary. 
The  secretary  of  a  Cardinal  is  an  ecclesiastic.     When  a  lay- 
man is  chosen  to  fill  that  place  he  is  called,  not  the  secretary, 
but  the  Chancellor  of  the  Cardinal.     Cardinal  d' Andrea,  from 
1852,  when  he  was  made    Cardinal,  down  to  his  death,  em- 
ployed as  Chancellor  an  estimable  and  well  educated  gentle- 

(216) 


FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED.  217 

mau,  whom  he  had  known  well  and  had  been  intimately  asso- 
ciated with  for  years  before,  and  who  still  lives  in  Rome. 

Moreover,  no  person  of  the  name  of  T.  O.  R.  Keatinge, 
D.  D.,  LL.  D.,  ever  filled  the  office  of  librarian  or  assistant  li- 
brarian of  the  Index  Expurgatorius,  or  of  the  Congregation 
of  the  Index,  as  was  ascertained  by  Father  Hecker  when  he 
visited  Rome,  and  I  am  sure  from  what  I  personally  know  of 
Keatinge's  falsehoods  and  power  of  invention,  that  Father 
Hecker   says   the  truth  when  he  pronounces  Keatinge  "  false, 

all  false!" 

For  the  benefit  of  all  lovers  of  truth,  and  to  prevent  the 
public  from  being  imposed  upon  by  the  soi-disant  Thomas  Os- 
car Roland  Keatinge,  D.  D.,  LL.  D.,  I  will  relate  what  I  know 
of  him.  I  was  introduced  to  this  man  by  Rev.  Mr.  Suydam, 
in  the  Third  Reformed  Church,  Hamilton  Square,  Jersey  City, 
in  June,  1870.  Gertrude,  who  came  to  visit  me  after  the 
Madison  riot,  was  with  me,  and  introduced  at  the  same  time. 
She  admired  very  much  his  "  brilliant  and  gifted  mind,"  as  >?he 
termed  it,  and  accepted  an  invitation  from  him  to  visit  his 
home  in  Scraalenberg,  N.  J.,  where  he  was  assistant  minister 
in  the  Dutch  Reformed  Church,  of  which  Rev.  Dr.  Gordon  is 
the  pastor.  Gertrude  visited  his  home  on  Saturday,  three 
days  after  her  introduction  to  him.  I  was  very  much  surprised 
by  this  action  on  her  part,  because  naturally  she  is  very  cold 
and  formal  toward  strangers. 

Gertrude  returned  on  Monday,  accompanied  by  Mrs.  Keat- 
inge, a  woman  who  presented  a  very  untidy  appearance,  and 
remained  over  night.     Mrs.  Keatinge  told  a  pitiful  tale  of  pov- 


218  FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED. 

erty  and  persecution  to  which  he  "  Dr."  and  she  were  subjected, 
and  in  the  sympathy  of  my  heart  I  made  some  necessary  pur- 
chase for  her,  and  gave  her  donations  from  my  wardrobe  be- 
sides, before  she  returned  to  her  home. 

On  Friday  of  the  same  week  I  was  very  much  astonished 
when  I  returned  from  lecturing  in  Hackensack,  N.  J.,  to  find 
Keatinge  and  his  wife  partaking  of  Mrs.  H.  M.  Dunning' s  hos- 
pitality. I  treated  them  with  politeness,  and  thought  them 
sincere  and  truthful,  although  I  formed  the  idea  that  they  were 
rather  free  for  strangers  in  pushing  themselves  forward  as 
guests  and  remaining  all  night.  Gertrude  seemed  quite  charm- 
ed with  Keatinge's  narrative  of  his  wonderful  escape  from 
Rome.  lie  is  a  strange  looking  man,  small  in  stature,  and 
wearing  a  profusion  of  brown  beard ;  sallow  in  complexion, 
with  deep  set,  fierce  looking  eyes,  overhung  by  heavy  black 
brows  and  presenting  a  malignant-like  appearance.  He  talked 
incessantly  of  himself  and  his  wonderful  adventures,  and  I  be- 
lieved him  to  be  all  he  represented  himself  to  be.  The  couple 
returned  to  their  home  in  Scraalenberg  on  Saturday,  Gertrude 
again  accompanying  them.  The  following  Tuesday  I  was  very 
much  surprised  to  receive  a  morning  call  from  Keatinge ;  he 
was  alone,  and  I  received  him  in  the  front  parlor ;  the  folding 
doors  which  divide  the  parlors  were  open,  and  Mrs.  Dunning, 
who  was  reclining  on  a  sofa  in  the  back  parlor,  could  hear  and 
see  all  that  transpired  in  the  front  parlor.  Keatinge  appeared 
singularly  pale  and  agitated,  and  after  a  few  morning  saluta- 
tions he  thus  addressed  me. 


FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED.  219 

"  My  deah  Miss  Edith,  I  have  bad  news  for  you,  very  bad 
news  indeed." 

Thinking  something  had  happened  to  Gertrude,  I  asked  him 
if  it  was  anything  concerning  her. 

"  Oh,  deah  child,  no,  no !  it  is  the  Catholics,  they  are  con- 
cocting a  plot  against  you,  so  cunningly  and  maliciously  devised, 
that  it  would  damn  the  Queen  of  England  herself  if  brought 
against  her.  Oh,  my  deah  child,  how  can  I  break  it  to  you ! 
Promise  me,  deah,  that  you  will  bear  it  like  the  brave  woman 
that  you  are." 

"  Speak  out,  sir,  I  am  listening." 

"  "Well,  deah,  I  have  seen  the  sworn  affidavits  of  two  priests, 
five  nuns,  three  children,  and  two  physicians,  who  have  been 
bribed  by  Rev.  Father  Starrs,  vicar  general  of  N.  Y.,  who  has 
spent  over  twenty  thousand  dollars  to  get  up  this  false  and 
damning  evidence  against  your  reputation,  and  which  Mr.  Dana, 
editor  of  the  New  York  Sun,  and  Henry  "Ward  Beecher,  of 
the  Christian  Union,  are  going  to  publish  against  you  in  their 
papers." 

In  amazement  I  looked  at  Keatinge,  to  see  if  he  was  in  his 
right  mind.  His  face  had  assumed  an  expression  as  of  indig- 
nation against  such  an  unheard-of  plot,  and  deep  sympathy  for 
the  injustice  to  me  seemed  also  to  appear  in  his  face.  I  re- 
plied— 

'*  I  don't  understand  you,  sir.  No  one  living  can  say  aught 
against  my  reputation  and  speak  truly.  "What  do  you  mean, 
sir?" 

In  an  extremely  agitated  manner,  he  replied — 


220  FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED. 

"  But,  my  clean,  don't  you  know  that  the  Catholics  will  per- 
jure themselves  if  they  can  crush  you  by  so  doing?  They 
have  failed  to  assassinate  you,  and  now  the  most  effectual 
means  to  silence  you  is  to  blast  your  reputation,  which  they 
cannot  fail  to  do  by  their  perjury.  They  are  the  power  ;  con- 
sequently the  public  will  not  uphold  a  weak,  defenceless  girl 
after  she  is  crushed  by  such  a  formidable  enemy.  And  now, 
my  deah,  I  do  tremble  for  you.  Your  only  safety  is  to  leave 
this  accursed  country  and  come  with  us  to  England.  As  a 
literary  man  I  have  great  influence,  and  will  defend  you  by 
meeting  their  attack  before  we  leave  for  England." 

"  Sir,  falsehood  can  never  crush  truth.  God  reigns,  and  in 
Him  I  trust ;  therefore  I  have  no  fear,  and  your  proposition  to 
leave  this  country  and  go  to  England  is  preposterous.  It  is 
only  the  guilty  who  flee ;  but  conscious  of  my  own  innocence 
I  do  not  shrink  from  any  unjust  persecution.  I  have  already 
been  slandered  and  calumniated,  but  remain  unharmed,  while 
the  retribution  falls  upon  those  who  seek  my  destruction." 

"  But,  my  poor  deah,  you  do  not  realize  the  damning  extent 
of  the  plot,  nor  the  vile  things  they  will  publish  about  you !  I 
have  seen  them,  hence  my  anxiety  to  ward  it  off  to  some  ex- 
tent." 

"  Sir,  it  appears  very  strange  to  me  that  Catholics  confide  so 
much  in  you  whom,  you  say,  they  so  cruelly  persecute.  I  can- 
not understand  why  they  divulge  to  you  their  plots." 

"  Oh,  my  deah !  but  don't  you  know  that  it  was  not  from 
Catholics  I  found  all  this  out,  but  from  Mr.  Dana  of  the  Sun, 


FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED.  221 

and  Mr.  Beecher  of  the  Christian  Union,  who  have  it  ready 
for  publication,  and  who  showed  to  me  the  sworn  statements." 

"  Very  strange,  sir !  but  if  what  you  say  is  true,  I  will  bear 
it.     God  is  my  defense." 

"  Now,  my  deah,  I  have  not  yet  told  you  all.  I  have  more 
bad  news  for  you  coming  from  another  source,  and  which  I  fear 
will  pain  you  most.  I  heard  that  you  were  engaged  to  be 
married  to  Professor  William  Auffray — well,  deah,  when  the 
damnable  plot  of  the  Catholics  came  to  my  kuovvledge  I  thought 
your  only  safety  wras  in  marriage,  so,  deah,  out  of  the  purest 
interest  and  earnest  desire  to  save  you,  I  made  it  my  business 
to  go  myself  and  see  Prof.  Auffray  and  make  known  to  him 
your  danger.  Accordingly,  last  night  I  went  to  see  him,  and 
explained  to  him  the  plot  against  you.  I  entreated  hini  that 
if  he  really  loved  you  he  would  marry  you  at  once,  and  thus 
avert  in  a  measure  the  suffering  which  threatened  to  crush  you. 
I  spoke  highly  of  your  noble  qualities,  and  told  him  he  ought 
to  feel  highly  honored  to  marry  you  under  any  circumstances ; 
but,  my  deah,  a  third  party  had  been  to  him  and  to  the  Rev. 
D.  C.  Lewin,  Principal  of  the  college,  defaming  you,  and  Prof. 
Auffray  had  resolved  to  break  off  his  engagement  with  you." 

"  There,  sir,  stop  !  I  cannot  credit  all  this  ;  who  authorized 
you  to  go  to  Prof.  Auffray  ?  he  is  a  stranger  to  you." 

"  Now  courage  and  patience,  my  deah  girl !  Professor  Auf- 
fray is  not  a  stranger  to  me.  I  know  him  to  be  a  French  vil- 
lain of  the  deepest  dye." 

"  Dr.  Keatinge,  I  will  not  allow  you  to  speak  thus  of  a  man 
whom  I  know  to  be  the  very  soul  of  honor,  and  whose  nobility 


222  FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED. 

of  character  has  redeemed  his  sex  in  my  estimation.  You  in- 
sult me  to  speak  thus  of  one  whom  I  love,  esteem,  and  re- 
spect." 

"  Oh,  my  deah  girl !  listen  to  me,  and  understand  that  I  am 
your  only  true  friend,  and  as  such  I  warn  you  against  this  self- 
ish Frenchman ;  and  to  convince  you  of  this  man's  perfidy,  it 
was  Prof.  Auffray  who  requested  me  to  come  here  to-day,  and 
in  his  name  ask  you  to  release  him  from  his  engagement,  as  he 
could  not  marry  such  a  vile  woman  as  you  are.  He  does  not 
wish  to  see  you  again,  but  requests  that  you  return  his  letters, 
portraits,  all." 

Keatinge  seemed  so  earnest  and  sincere  that  I  could  no 
longer  doubt.  Naturally  simple  and  unsuspecting,  it  never  oc- 
curred to  me  that  Keatinge's  words  were  all  false  inventions, 
and  I  replied : 

"  Indeed,  sir,  I  am  completely  bewildered  and  mystified  by 
all  the  strange  things  you  have  spoken  to  me  to-day ;  and  I 
must  reflect  and  have  an  explanation  from  Prof.  Auffray  him- 
self, before  I  take  any  such  step  as  to  break  off  an  engagement 
which  gave  him  so  much  happiness  to  make." 

"  My  deah,  he  is  not  worthy  of  you  !  Oh,  if  you  only  knew 
what  I  know  about  that  man,  you  would  not  hesitate  one  mo- 
ment ! "  And  then  he  proceeded  to  slander  Professor  Auffray, 
until  I  compelled  him  to  desist,  at  the  same  time  telling  him  I 
would  write  and  have  an  explanation  from  that  person.  In 
great  excitement  he  replied — 

"  Oh  no,  my  deah,  you  must  not  do  that  upon  any  account ; 
you  will  endanger  your  reputation  beyond  repair  if  you  either 


FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED.  223 

write  to  him  or  see  him  again,  except  to  send  a  short  note 
breaking  the  engagement.  Now,  deah  girl,  for  your  reputa- 
tion's sake  follow  my  advice,  and  give  me  such  a  note  now, 
which  I  will  send  to  him." 

"  I  cannot  now,  Dr.  Keatinge,  I  am  too  much  astounded,  and 
need  some  reflection." 

"  No,  my  deah,  you  must  do  it  now — before  I  go.  Be  a  true 
woman,  and  let  him  see  you  can  live  without  him.  Give  me 
pen,  ink,  and  paper,  and  I  will  dictate  it."  He  went  to  my 
writing  desk  on  the  table,  helped  himself  to  note  paper,  and 
thus  wrote : 

"Jersey  City,  June  13,  1870. 
Sir: — After  Dr.  Keatinge's  visit  this  morning  you  will  not 
be  surprised  to  know  that  I  disclaim  all  further  acquaintance 
with  you.  I  request  the  return  of  my  letters  and  portraits, 
upon  the  receipt  of  which  I  will  forward  your  own.  Any  fur- 
ther explanation,  of  course,  is  unnecessary. 

Respectfully, 

Edith  0' Gorman." 

This  note  I  copied  mechanically,  and  blindly  gave  it  to  him, 
after  which  my  pent-up  feelings  gave  vent  to  convulsive  weep- 
ing. Keatinge  seemed  affected  in  witnessing  my  distress,  and 
said — 

"  Now,  my  dawling,  dry  up  your  tears,  and  come  with  me 
to-day  to  Scraalenberg,  to  my  house.  Do  not  grieve  about 
that  bad  man,  but  thank  the  Lord  you  are  free  from  him  before 
it  was  too  late.     Oh,  my  dawling,  I  wish  it  were  in  my  power 


224  FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED. 

to  offer  you  a  husband's  protection.  My  deah,  do  you  not 
know  that  I  am  not  really  married  to  my  wife  ?  I  do  not  love 
her.  I  never  loved  a  woman  but  a  nun  in  Home,  who  was  • 
another  such  a  Madonna  as  you  !  O  dawling  Edith  !  I  do  love 
you,"  and  he  took  my  hand  and  kissed  it,  at  the  same  time  at- 
tempting to  kiss  my  brow. 

'I  could  scarcely  credit  my  senses  at  this  turn  of  affairs,  but 
'fully  aroused  to  indignation  I  demanded  an  explanation  of  his 
language  and  action.     Abashed  and  ashamed,  he  replied — 

©         CD 

"  My  deah  child,  you  entirely  misunderstand  me.  I  kissed 
you  only  as  a  deah  brother  who  is  willing  to  protect  you  with 
his  life ;  and  it  is  in  the  purest  sympathy  I  tell  you  the  secret 
love  of  my  heart,  in  order  that  my  unhappiness  may  modify 
your  own.  But  deah  child,  I  would  not  act  dishonorably  for 
all  the  world.  I  am  your  only  friend,  and  would  shelter  you 
from  the  fury  of  your  enemies  at  the  expense  of  my  life.  Oh, 
deah  child,  do  not,  I  pray,  misunderstand  me  !" 

"  Leave  me  now,  sir !  I  must  go  to  my  God  in  prayer,  I  am 
so  shocked,  bewildered,  confused."  I  knelt  down  in  a  corner 
of  the  parlor  to  pray.  Keatinge  came  and  knelt  down  beside 
me,  and  placing  his  hand  upon  my  bowed  head,  he  commenced 
to  say  something  about  "  this  deah  afflicted  child."  When  I 
heard  his  voice,  then  a  feeling  of  intense  loathing  came  over 
me  ;  it  seemed  to  me  that  a  fiend  in  human  form  was  mocking 
God  with  prayer.  I  instantly  arose  from  my  knees,  request- 
ing him  to  go  away  as  I  wished  to  be  alone.  Mrs.  Dunning, 
who  had  been  a  silent  auditor  and  spectator  throughout  the 
scene  now  made  her   appearance,  and  asked  an  explanation 


FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED.  225 

from  Keatinge.  He  told  Mrs.  Dunning  he  was  trying  to  save 
me  from  the  plotting  of  my  enemies,  and  if  she  was  a  true 
friend  to  me  she  would  never  permit  me  to  see  Professor  Auf- 
fray again,  etc.  Keatinge  then  departed  after  accomplishing 
the  fiendish  work  of  making  us  truly  miserable.  He  promised 
Mrs.  Dunning  he  would  call  again  on  Thursday  with  the  evi- 
dences for  all  his  statements.  After  he  had  gone,  Mrs.  Dun- 
ning said  to  me,  "  Edith,  if  there  is  any  plot  against  you,  Dr. 
Keatinge  is  the  only  plotter.  I  know  every  thing  he  told  you 
is  false,  and  I  shall  go  myself  and  see  Professor  Auffray,  who 
I  know  is  a  noble  and  true  gentleman.  Edith,  why  were  you 
so  silly  as  to  copy  Dr.  Keatinge's  note  and  break  off  the  en- 
gagement ?  Don't  you  know  he  seeks  your  destruction  ?  and 
what  is  his  object  in  asking  you  to  go  home  with  him,  but  only 
to  ruin  your  reputation." 

"  Oh,  Mrs.  Dunning,  I  don't  know  what  it  all  means  !  I  am 
so  bewildered  and  mystified  I  must  pray,  pray !" 

Mrs.  Dunning  went  herself  to  the  Eclectic  Collegiate  Insti- 
tute, Brooklyn,  and  found  Professor  Auffray  in  the  deepest 
mental  trouble.  He  came  to  see  me  early  Wednesday  morn- 
ing, and  told  me  some  things  about  Keatinge,  which  I  will  con- 
dense. Keatinge  went  on  Monday  evening  to  the  Institute 
where  William  Auffray  was  resident  Professor  at  that  time,  and 
remained  all  night.  He  never  ceased  to  slander  me  from  eight 
in  the  evening  until  two  in  the  morning  before  Professor  Auf- 
fray and  Rev.  Mr.  Lewin.  He  told  them  he  had  known  me 
ten  years,  and  represented  me  as  the  vilest  woman  on  the  face 
of  the  earth  ;  called  me  an  intriguing  adventuress ;  told  them 


22S  FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED. 

I  had  gone  on  my  knees  to  him,  and  begged  him  to  go  to  Pro- 
fessor Auffray  and  ask  him  to  marry  me,  and  a  number  of 
other  such  vile  and  malicious  falsehoods,  just  as  he  had  mis- 
represented Professor  Auffray  to  me.  He  tried  to  get  Pro- 
fessor Auffray  to  write  to  me  and  break  off  the  engagement 
between  us,  but  therein  he  did  not  succeed  as  well  as  he  did 
with  me.  Professor  Auffray  told  him  that  he  did  not  believe 
him,  and  that  even  though  I  was  all  that  he  said,  nevertheless  he 
would  marry  me  because  he  loved  me,  and  his  heart  told  him 
I  was  a  true,  pure  woman.  I  told  Professor  Auffray  all  the 
events  of  Keatinge's  visit  to  me.  I  clearly  saw  his  fiendish 
plot  to  work  out  my  destruction  if  he  had  succeeded  in  his 
design  of  separating  Professor  Auffray  and  myself,  and  induced 
me  to  go  to  his  home  in  Scraalenberg. 

Thursday  morning  Keatinge  was  expected  to  come  again. 
I  called  in  Mrs.  Hall,  an  elderly  lady  of  high  respectability  in 
the  Methodist  church,  in  order  that  she  might  be  a  witness  to 
the  interview.  Professor  Auffray  also  came  to  confront  Keat- 
inge with  his  falsehoods,  but  urgent  duties  called  him  away 
before  that  person's  arrival.  At  one  o'clock  P.  M.,  the  trio, 
Gertrude,  Keatinge  and  his  wife,  made  their  aj^pearance.  Mrs. 
Dunning,  Mrs.  Hall,  and  myself  met  them  in  the  parlor  where 
they  still  remained  standing  when  I  entered.  Keatinge,  with 
a  diabolical  smile,  came  toward  me  with  both  hands  extended 
to  greet  me ;  but  drawing  back  from  him  I  calmly  said : 

"  No  sir,  you  cannot  touch  my  hand :  I  have  discovered 
you  to  be  a  malicious  inventor  of  plots  and  falsehoods,  and  I 
shall  make  you  prove  all  the  vile  calumnies  you  have  heaped 


FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED.  227 

upon  me  in  the  presence  of  Professor  AufFray,  whom  you 
thought  I  would  never  see  again.  The  only  plot  against  me, 
Sir,  is  in  your  own  evil  heart.  But  you  are  foiled,  thank 
God."  He  was  extremely  confused,  changed  color,  and  made 
a  stammering  effort  to  say  something  when  I  turned  toward 
his  wife  and  said — 

"  Your  husband  says,  madame,  that  he  is  not  married  to  you, 
and  he  wishes  he  could  offer  me  a  husband's  protection ;  he 
called  me  his  '  darling  love '  and  kissed  me." 

Keatinge's  countenance  assumed  the  livid  hue  of  death,  as 
he  approached  me  with  his  hand  so  clinched  that  the  nails 
penetrated  the  flesh,  and  shaking  one  of  them  in  my  face  he 
fiercely  shouted — 

"  You're  a  damnable  liar  !" 

Mrs.  Dunning  then  stepped  up  to  him  and  said, 

"  No  Sir,  she  is  not  a  liar,  you  did  kiss  her,  and  make  love 
to  her,  for  I  heard  and  saw  you  myself — and  don't  you  dare 
to  deny  it,  sir  !" 

With  the  most  fiendish  expression,  and  fairly  jumping  in 
rage  he  hissed  forth  from  his  gnashing  teeth, 

"  You  are  all  damnable  liars  ;  plotters  and  wretches.     Come 

wife,  let  us  get  out  of  this  den  of ."     I  replied,  "  Go,  sir  ! 

you  are  worse  than  an  inquisitor." 

Once  more  placing  his  clenched  hand  in  threatening  attitude 
over  my  head,  he  hissed — 

"  I  am  a  Roman  Inquisitor,  and  I  will  join  the  Catholics  to 
damn  you  !  I  will  pursue  you  to  the  death !  and  strip  you  of 
all  your  friends  by  slandering  you  to  the  public," 


228  FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED. 

"  You  cannot  injure  me,  Sir.  I  possess  that  of  which  the 
whole  world  cannot  deprive  me,  the  peace  of  a  good  con- 
science." 

He  then  rushed  frantically  out  of  the  house  swearing  all 
manner  of  vengeance  upon  me,  while  his  miserable  wife  accom- 
panied him.  I  can  only  compare  her  to  a  faithful  dog  follow- 
ing a  wicked  master,  and  in  my  inmost  heart  I  pity  her.  Mrs. 
Dunning.  Mrs.  Hall.  Gertrude,  and  the  two  servants  of  the 
house  heard  him  make  the  above  threats  to  me.  I  have  never 
seen  him  since,  but  I  heard  in  a  few  weeks  afterward  that  Dr. 
Gordon  had  turned  liim  away  from  Scraalenberg,  as  an  impos- 
tor and  a  humbug. 

The  next  thing  I  heard  of  him  is  in  Boston,  accompanied 
with  a  great  nourish  of  trumpets.  All  the  leading  clergymen 
of  Boston  indorsed  his  appearance,  by  signing  their  names  to 
the  testimonials,  which  appeared  in  the  newspapers  June  23d, 
1870,  expressing  their  satisfaction  with  "  the  letters  he  had  in  his 
possession,  with  the  great  seal  of  the  Eomish  Church  attached, 
testifying  to  his  faithfulness,  good  character,  and  ability."  How- 
ever, while  in  the  midst  of  his  infamous  trickery  toward  the 
Boston  Clergy,  his  true  character  was  partially  disclosed  in 
the  following  manner.  Mrs.  H.  M.  Dunning  wrote  a  full  ac- 
count of  Keatinge's  falsity  to  her  sister,  who  is  the  wife  of  Mr. 
J.  P.  Magee,  a  gentleman  connected  with  Zion's  Herald,  38 
Bromfield  Street,  Boston. 

When  Mrs.  Magee  heard  of  Keatinge's  appearance  in  Bos- 
ton, she  took  Mrs  Dunning's  letter  to  Dr.  G.  Haven,  editor 
of  the  Zion's  Herald.     Keatinge   happened  to  be  in  the  office, 


FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED.  229 

and  the  ministers  charged  upon  him,  with  the  contents  of  the 
letter.  Humiliated  by  this  unforeseen  turn  of  affairs,  Keat- 
inge  poured  forth  a  volley  of  invectives  against  me,  accusing 
ma  of  being  guilty  of  all  manner  of  crimes,  and  indulging  in 
the  most  vituperative  language  ;  he  called  me  "  vile  impostor, 
liar,"  etc.  Very  unbecoming  a  christian  minister  indeed,  were 
his  expressions  against  myself.  To  all  who  heard  him  revile 
me  I  am  personally  a  stranger,  and  I  know  not  what  effect 
his  bitter  and  unmanly  denunciations  had  upon  those  who  heard 
them ;  but  I  do  know  that  falsehood  cannot  outlive  truth,  and 
his  evil  slanders  can  do  me  no  real  harm. 

In  Boston  he  was  sustained  in  his  course  by  Gertrude,  whom 
he  had  completely  blinded,  and  who  had  become  infatuated 
with  him.  However,  she  cannot  fail  to  discover  his  baseness 
sooner  or  later,  as  all  do  to  their  sorrow  who  have  any  deal- 
ings with  him.  I  cannot  speak  with  certainty  of  the  exact 
career  of  this  man,  because  there  is  no  credence  to  be  placed 
upon  his  words.  I  know  from  good  authority  that  he  was 
turned  out  of  the  Episcopal  Church  in  Briar  Cliff,  on  the  Hud- 
son River,  so  has  he  also  been  turned  out  of  the  Dutch  Re- 
formed Church  in  Scraalenberg,  N.  J.  He  has  never  thorough- 
ly connected  himself  as  a  member  with  any  Christian  Church 
since  he  left  the  Romish  Church.  He  practices  consummate 
deceit  upon  all  sects.  I  know  not  among  what  religious  body 
he  will  next  make  his  debut.  I  am  sure  he  was  at  some  period 
a  Roman  Catholic  priest,  hence  his  great  villainy,  and  accord- 
ing to  the  Church  of  Rome,  "  Once  a  priest,  always  a  priest 
according  to  the  order  of  Melchisedec,"   which  is  on  a  par 


230  FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED. 

with,  "  Once  a  rascal  always  a  rascal,"  according  to  the  other 
order. 

Keatinge  was  employed  a  while  in  the  office  of  the  Christian 
Union,  which  now  denounces  him,  as  very  clearly  appears  in 
the  following  paragraph  winch  was  published  in  the  edition  of 
November  5th,  1870 : 

An  Impostor. 
"  Within  the  past  few  weeks  we  have  received  many  inquir- 
ies from  persons  in  New  England,  who  felt  themselves  ag- 
grieved or  in  doubt  concerning  one  T.  O.  R.  Keatinge,  formerly 
a  writer  for  the  Christian  Union.  More  than  three  months 
ago  we  expressly  withdrew  all  endorsement  from  Keatinge  by 
an  editorial  paragraph.  As  we  learn,  however,  that  he  still 
appeals  to  his  former  connection  with  this  paper  as  a  voucher 
for  his  character,  a  further  statement  on  our  part  seems  desira- 
ble. We  therefore  say  explicitly  that  we  are  fully  convinced, 
upon  the  amplest  evidence,  that  Keatinge  is  an  impostor  and 
utterly  unworthy  of  trust.  We  also  call  attention  to  the  cards 
below,  signed  by  several  responsible  gentlemen.  The  atten- 
tion of  New  England  papers  is  especially  called  to  this  state- 
ment, as  Keatinge  seems  to  be  at  present  carrying  on  his  ope- 
rations in  that  section  of  the  country." 

The  last  I  heard  of  his  impositions  is,  that  he  is  getting  sub- 
scriptions to  the  amount  of  several  hundred  dollars  towards  a 
paper  he  is  going  to  edit  in  Portsmouth,  N.  H.  I  now  warn 
the  public  against  him.  References  as  to  his  true  character 
can  be  had  by  applying  to  the  heads  of  the  Episcopal  church 


FALSEHOOD    UNMASKED. 


231 


at  Briar  Cliff,  N.  Y.,  to  Rev.  Dr.  Gordon,  of  Scraalenberg,  N. 
J.,  to  Rev.  Henry  Ward  Beecher,  and  Mr.  Kennedy  of  the 
Christian  Union,  and  to  Professor  Auffray  at  Jersey  City,  and 
to  several  others  besides  who  have  suffered  from  his  treachery 
and  falsehood. 

I  unmask  this  man  from  a  strict  and  conscientious  sense  of 
truth  and  justice,  and  not  from  any  petty  spirit  of  vindictive- 
ness,  because  I  harbor  none  against  him.  In  my  very  soul  I 
pity  him  as  an  intelligence  lost  to  all  truth.  Although  this 
man  may  revile  and  persecute  me,  still  as  a  christian  I  com- 
mend  him  to  the  mercy  of  a  God,  who  is  willing  to  forgive  the 
deepest  dyed  sinner  if  he  turn  from  Ins  evil  ways,  and  with 
a  contrite  heart  worship  Him  in  spirit  and  in  truth. 


CHAPTER     XXX. 

MY    MARRIAGE. 

'"'  ?.<«zk  ye  first  the  kingdom  of  Heaven  and  all  things  else  shall  "ta 
ad  led  unto  you." 

Of  all  human  influences  that  of  virtuous  love  is  the  sweetest, 
as  it  is  the  most  powerful.  The  world  has  nothing  to  offer 
more  charming  th?,n  a  pure  and  happy  affection,  the  sincere 
outburst  of  the  strength  and  desires  of  the  soul.  Love,  when 
it  is  in  harmony  with  the  enlightened  and  sanctified  conscience, 
is  the  richest  treasure  of  our  nature.  It  is  Paradise  regained. 
Such  a  love  now  fills  my  heart,  a  heart  so  well  constituted  to 
enjoy  it.  My  heart,  winch  had  been  so  cruelly  tried,  so  wildly 
tossed  about,  so  bitterly  betrayed  through  man's  treachery,  had 
ceased  to  regard  the  whole  sex,  nave  in  the  most  distrustful  and 
almost  bitter  light.  I  held  myself  aloof  from  men,  and  merely 
tolerated  their  presence.  I  had  shut  them  out  from  my  heart, 
and  in  its  secret  chamber  I  firmly  resolved  no  man  should  ever 
enter  to  disturb  its  peace  by  an  unhallowed  love.  My  heart 
craved  something  disengaged  from  mere  earthly  and  selfish  sen- 
timent ;  in  a  word,  my  heart  sought  moral  perfectness  in  man, 
which  was  something  brighter  and  nobler  than  the  world  had 

(232) 


MY    MARRIAGE.  233 

ever  exhibited  to  me,  and  I  had  ceased  to  think  it  possessed 
such.  However,  God,  who  hath  already  showered  down  upon 
my  soul  innumerable  Divine  blessings,  deluging  it  in  an  ocean 
of  heavenly  peace,  had  also  reserved  for  me  a  new  and  delight- 
ful human  existence. 

Professor  William  Auffray  crossed  my  path,  and  his  honest 
nobility  of  soul  influenced  and  filled  my  heart,  permeating  my 
being  with  a  new  life,  a  new  love,  a  new  happiness.  His  is  a 
character,  to  me,  singularly  grand  and  beautiful.  His  naturally 
keen  and  progressive  mind,  strengthened  by  earnest  culture, 
and  developed  in  a  wide  range  of  practical  and  scientific  at- 
tainments, shook  off  the  trammel  of  the  Church  of  Rome,  in 
whose  theology  he  had  graduated.  His  strong  intellect,  keenly 
analytical,  and  combined  with  the  severest  moral  philosophy, 
could  never  succumb  to  the  inevitable  depravity  of  such  a  sys- 
tem as  the  Romish  priesthood,  a  system  that  makes  vows  of 
celibacy  but  not  of  chastity ;  therefore  he  threw  off  the  yoke 
of  Rome,  with  its  train  of  evils.  His  talents  could  not  be 
smothered  within  the  narrow  limits  of  superstition  and  tradi- 
tion. After  rebelling  against  Romish  ordination,  he  was  two 
years  professor  of  Belles-lettres  in  the  University  St.  Mande*, 
Paris ;  after  which  he  came  to  this  country,  and  has  now  been 
here  three  years.  He  entered  the  General  Theological  Sem- 
inary in  New  York,  and  was  received,  on  the  17th  of  June, 
1869,  a  candidate  for  holy  orders  in  the  diocese  of  New  York, 
and  at  the  present  time  he  is  an  assistant  in  the  French  Epis- 
copal Church  Du  St.  Esprit,  (where  the  learned  Dr.  A.  Verren 
is  pastor,  and  so  has  been  for  over  forty-two  years),  Twenty- 


234  MY    MARRIAGE. 

Second  St.,  New  York.  ■  However,  a  mind  like  his  cannot  be 
at  home  among  ritualism  in  any  form.  William  AufFray,  at 
twenty-eight  years  of  age,  gave  to  me  the  first  true  love  of  his 
heart,  which  my  whole  nature  reciprocated,  and  to  him  I  was 
joined  in  the  holy  bonds  of  wedlock  on  the  18th  day  of  August, 
1870,  by  Rev.  II.  A.  Cordo,  paster  of  the  North  Baptist  Church, 
Jersey  City. 

Dear  readers,  how  beautiful,  how  real,  how  near  the  heaven- 
ly is  the  enjoyment  of  such  h  union !  All  the  charms  and 
pleasures  of  home,  and  the  unspeakable  delights  of  newly  wed- 
ded love,  are  realized  by  us.  The  perfectly  married  pair  is 
indeed  the  perfect  type  of  the  I  <ord's  Church.  The  center  and 
throne  of  love's  sweetest,  highest  power  are  in  our  home  of 
wedded  bliss — a  beautiful  paradise  where,  partaking  of  the  tree 
of  life  and  communing  sweetly  w:.fh  God,  we  enjoy  each  other's 
love.  And  how  can  it  be  otherwi??  with  such  a  husband  ?  he 
is  so  good,  so  excellent  in  nature  an.l  character.  To  the  truest 
and  tenderest  sensibility  are  added  indomitable  decision  and 
dauntless  courage,  blended  with  a  c^lm,  practical  judgment, 
great  patience,  and  a  beautiful  simplicity  and  modesty,  while 
suffusing  all  his  character  with  a  heavenl  ■  light  is  a  living  and 
controlling  piety.  He  is  a  philosopher  in  thought,  a  hero  in 
action,  a  child  in  feeling  and  simplicity,  and  a  Christian  in  his 
daily  life.  To  me  he  is  both  the  giant  oak  that  battles  with 
the  storm,  and  the  gentle  vine,  with  its  green  leaves  anc*  purple 
clusters ;  he  makes  sweet  alike  zephyr  and  storm.  Powerful 
and  handsome  in  person,  elegant  and  gentle  in  manners,  win- 
ning in  conversation,  ardent  and  affectionate  in  nature,  he  is 


MY    MARRIAGE.  235 

well  calculated  to  make  a  most  loving,  tender,  and  devoted  hus- 
band. Truly  God  was  good  to  me  when  he  gave  me  William 
Auffray  as  the  strong,  safe  pilot  to  guide  my  frail  little  bark 
into  the  haven  of  rest ;  where,  anchored  in  his  heart,  so  brim- 
ful of  love,  I  am  sheltered  and  safe  at  last  from  all  the  storms 
and  tempests  and  whirlpools. 
Thanks,  my  God  1 1 


CHAPTEE    XXXI. 

CONCLUSION. 

In  the  Roman  Catholic  Church,  Holy  Scripture — God's 
word — is  trampled  under  foot,  and  tradition,  which  is  man's 
word,  becomes  practically  and  substantially  the  only  and  con- 
clusive rule  of  faith.  What  was  it  that  brought  wreck  upon 
Jerusalem,  and  occasioned  the  extinction  of  all  its  ancient 
grandeur  ?  Its  people  preferred  the  traditions  of  men  to  the 
commandments  of  God,  and  from  the  moment  they  began  to 
do  so,  corruption  grew  in  strength,  and  spread  its  contagion  to 
the  utmost  limits  of  the  Jewish  race. 

The  Jews  had  ecclesiastical  authority,  outward  sanctity,  a 
succession  most  legitimate,  a  gorgeous  ritual,  the  law  and 
the  promises.  They  had  prophets  commissioned  from  heaven 
to  guide  and  teach  them  ;  they  had  a  Temple,  the  glory  and  the 
admiration  of  the  whole  earth — but  in  an  evil  hour  they  pre- 
ferred the  traditions  of  man  to  the  commandments  of  God, 
and  from  that  moment  they  experienced  and  proved  the  great 
truth,  that  the  church  which  tries  to  steal  a  ray  from  the  glory 
of  God  takes  a  consuming  curse  into  its  own  bosom.  When 
the  Son  of  God  came  to  Jerusalem,  how  did  they  receive  him  ? 

(236) 


CONCLUSION. 


237 


They  who  boasted  of  being  the  "  only  true  church,"  exclaimed 
u  Away  with  him,  away  with  him !"  and  at  last  he  was  con- 
demned to  be  crucified  by  a  people  that  declared  themselves 
the  "  chosen  of  the  Most  High."     What  consuming  and  crush- 
in  <r  judgment  followed  ?     The  Roman  armies  concentrated  in 
hostile  array  around  guilty  Jerusalem,  and  every  stone  of  that 
once  powerful  city  cries  out  in  dumb  but  awful  eloquence  of 
departed  glory.     And  why  ?  because  like  the  Romish  Church, 
the  people  forsook  the  fountain  of  living  waters,  and  hewed  out 
to  themselves  cisterns,  broken  cisterns,  that  could  hold  no  water  ! 
My  dear  readers,  if  you  wish  to  arrest   a  scarcely  less  dreadful 
national  ruin  ;  if  you  would  stem,  under  God,  the  tide  and  tor- 
rent of  Romish  Superstition  which  now  threatens  to  inundate 
this  land  of  liberty,  cleave  closely  to  the   Bible,   and  defend 
with  your  lives  its  sacred  teachings.     It  is  the  only  revealed 
will  of  God,  therefore  reject  every  practice  and  doctrine  which 
has  no  foundation  in  its  sacred  volume.     If  the   Church  of 
Rome  would  adopt  this  process,  it  would  at  once  dissipate  the 
unauthorized  dogmas  which  lamentably  encumber  it. 

The  late  ecumenical  council  of  Rome,  after  a  long  debate 
and  much  dissension,  declared  Pope  Pius  IX  to  be  infallible ; 
nevertheless  he  is  now  stripped  of  his  temporal  power,  and  the 
enlightened  world  rejoices  at  the  change.  This  is  a  severe  blow 
to  that  system  of  superstition,  the  Catholic  Church,  and  the 
present  turn  of  affairs  in  Italy  shows  how  precarious  is  the  foot- 
ing she  possesses  even  in  the  soil  of  her  ancient  domination. 

I  believe  that  God's  truth  will  triumph,  but  I  also  believe 
that  as  God  works  by   means,  so  on  us  devolves  the  responsi- 


238  CONCLUSION. 

bility  of  a  diligent  and  faithful  use  of  the  means  which  He  has 
placed  within  our  reach.  "Whatever  those  means  are  let  us 
use  them.  Let  j>arents  in  their  homes  teach  Protestant  truths, 
and  keep  their  children  away  from  Catholic  influence.  Let 
me  remind  you,  especially  mothers,  to  do  thus.  You  have 
great  power,  a  mother's  influence  in  her  home,  when  sanctified, 
is  mighty,  therefore,  on  the  mothers  of  this  great  nation  de- 
volves a  responsibility  which  no  language  can  exj^ress. 

Investigation  and  progress  will  bring  jDriestcraft  to  the  sur- 
face. The  attention  of  the  public  has  been  attracted  lately  to 
the  defense  of  a  free  school  system.  On  this  point  of  free 
education,  your  children  cry  out  to  yield  not  one  inch  to  the 
demands  of  Jesuistry,  therefore  never  give  up  your  cherished, 
noble,  free  school  institutions  ;  they  are  the  fountains  from 
which  your  precious  children  are  to  draw  the  elementary  prin- 
ciples of  intelligence,  which  must  be  the  basis  of  their  charac- 
ter. None  fear  these  schools  as  do  the  Roman  Catholic  priests, 
and  they  would  gladly  undermine  the  system  ;  for  in  its  flour- 
ishing they  foresee  their  loosening  hold  upon  the  coming  gen- 
eration. They  are  making  bold  efforts,  and  may  yet  make 
bolder,  in  order  to  cheat  your  children  of  the  blessings  of  a 
free-school  education.  I  trust  the  Protestants  will  not  suffer 
this  encroachment  without  at  least  a  show  of  resistance. 

Again,  let  the  legislature  enact  laws  for  the  inspection  of 
convents,  in  order  that  they  may  be  open  to  the  censure  or  ap- 
proval of  the  public ;  but  as  those  institutions  now  exist  there 
is  scarcely  no  protection  or  redress  for  the  victims  of  convent 
crimes.     Let  the  prison  doors  of  monasteries  and  convents  be 


CONCLUSION.  239 

thrown  open  to  their  deluded  inmates,  so  that  they  may  re- 
turn to  a  useful  and  virtuous  life  in  society  and  the  world. 

Dear  reader,  you  have  patiently  followed  me  from  the  time 
you  beheld  me  filled  with  all  the  enthusiastic  fanaticism  which 
the  potent  priesthood  of  a  dazzling  hierarchy  could  inspire  in 
an  ardent  and  deluded  girl.  You  have  seen  me  sever  every 
sacred  family  tie,  sacrifice  a  happy  home,  and  tear  myself  from 
the  close  embrace  of  a  beloved  mother,  to  place  myself  on  tha 
altar  of  self-immolation.  You  have  sympathized  with  me 
when  subject  to  the  unmitigated  tyranny,  unnatural  discipline, 
fearful  temptations  and  struggles  which  beset  me  in  the  con- 
vent prison.  You  have  seen  me  penniless  and  alone  in  mid- 
winter, thrust  out  upon  the  mercy  of  a  cold  and  selfish  world, 
flying  in  desperation  from  convent  crimes,  and  you  have  had  a 
faint  picture  of  the  desolation,  trials,  persecution,  and  heart 
struggles  which  followed.  At  last  after  grief  and  sorrow, 
whose  weight  and  extent  seem  almost  incredible,  you  have  re- 
joiced in  my  miraculous  conversion,  and  in  the  inexpressible 
light  and  heavenly  peace  of  my  God-born  soul,  and  in  the 
wonderful  power  of  grace  manifested  in  my  labors ;  and  you 
have  been  permitted  to  enter  my  happy  home  of  wedded  bliss, 
and  partake  in  spirit  of  my  joy.  Gentle  reader,  in  thus  accom- 
panying me  through  the  sorrow  and  tribulation,  the  joy  and 
gladness  of  an  eventful  period  of  eight  years,  can  you  refrain 
from  exclaiming,  "  Verily,  truth  is  stranger  than  fiction." 

I  have  portrayed  my  experience  with  a  frank  truthfulness. 
What  I  have  related  is,  alas,  too  true.  I  have  given  you  a 
plain,  candid,  and  simple  statement  of  facts,  which  cannot  be 
11 


240  CONCLUSION. 

refuted,  and  of  which  the  testimony  is  accessible  to  all.  I  have 
been  solely  guided  by  a  sincere  desire  to  rectify  wrong  and 
remove  evil,  and  in  this  brief  account  of  cruel  persecution,  I 
have  neither  felt  nor  experienced  vindictiveness,  although  a 
just  indignation  may  here  and  there  have  colored  my  language 
with  a  tinge  of  reproach  when  speaking  of  those  who  were 
chiefly  instrumental  in  producing  or  adding  to  my  sufferings. 
I  freely  and  entirely  forgive  my  enemies,  and  all  those  who  so 
deeply  injured  me,  and  pray  God  to  open  their  eyes  that  they 
may  see  and  appreciate  the  errors  of  a  system  to  which  I  at- 
tribute all  my  sharp  experience. 

Dear  Catholic  readers,  you  must  all  feel  in  the  inmost  recess 
of  your  hearts  that  every  bitter  sorrow  I  have  depicted  is  the 
result  of  a  system  of  religion  full  of  errors  and  superstition ; 
and  do  you  think  I  deserve  to  be  mobbed  and  assassinated  be- 
cause I  relate  a  true  and  plain  statement  of  facts  which  have 
been  developed  in  my  own  experience  ?  Oh,  how  I  yearn  to 
draw  you  all  into  the  one  safe  fold  of  our  only  Shepherd,  Christ 
Jesus,  where  like  me  you  will  be  fed  at  last  with  the  true  bread 
of  life,  and  cleansed,  regenerated,  and  sanctified  by  the  prec- 
ious saving  blood  of  our  only  Lord. 

How  can  you,  with  all  the  enlightening  influences  of  this 
free  land  surrounding  you,  suffer  yourself  to  be  so  cruelly 
blinded  to  the  true  interests  of  your  soul  ?  A  very  little  faith- 
ful examination  will -prove  to  your  satisfaction  the  hollo  wness 
of  the  services  you  attend,  the  insincerity  and  indifference  of 
the  majority  of  the  persons  styling  themselves  priests  who  min- 
ister before  you  at  the  blazing  altar.     Your  own  good  sense 


CONCLUSION.  241 

should  impress  you  with  the  truth  that  no  mere  man,  much 
less  a  selfish,  ambitious,  sensual  man,  as  most  priests  are,  can 
stand  between  you  and  your  God.  The  utmost  a  minister  can 
do  for  you  is  to  help  you  on  the  way  toward  Heaven,  by  prayer, 
counsel,  and  example ;  and  this  is  all  good  ministers  do.  There 
is  but  one  mediator,  God  the  Son ;  the  Holy  Word  on  which 
Roman  Catholicism  professes  to  be  founded,  can  prove  no  other, 
notwithstanding  its  prayers  and  invocation  to  the  Virgin  and 
the  great  company  of  saints.  Don't  allow  that  book  to  be 
"  sealed "  from  your  eyes  any  longer.  You  have  a  right  to 
consult  that  which  concerns  your  soul's  salvation,  and  your 
individual  responsibility  compels  you  to  examine  and  judge  for 
yourself:  "  Search  the  scriptures,  they  are  they  which  testify 
of  me,"  is  a  direct  injunction  of  our  Heavenly  Father. 

The' cunning  Roman  clergy,  knowing  too  well  the  results  of 
a  careful  reading  of  God's  word,  endeavor  to  keep  it  beyond 
your  reach ;  they  would  not  have  you  enlightened  by  its  pure 
teachings;    they   would  not  lose    their  blinded,  superstitious 

followers  ! 

And  now  dear  readers,  sad  and  sorrowful  as  has  been  my  ex- 
perience, yet  I  would  not  have  it  otherwise.  I  now  bless  the 
hand  that  hath  chastened  me  so  severely,  for  only  through  the 
fiery  furnace  of  tribulation  could  I  have  tasted  the  ineffable 
sweetness  of  the  children  of  God.  Through  no  other  means 
could  I  have  been  strengthened,  and  purified  to  •labor  in  the 
Lord's  vineyard.  Dear  readers,  I  will  now  lay  down  my  pen, 
to  resume  it  again  when  Providence  directs.     Truly  the  "Lord 


242  CONCLUSION. 

hath  drawn  me  up  out  of  the  terrible  pit  and  placed  my  feet 
upon  a  rock,  and  put  a  new  song  upon  my  lips." 

The  midnight  woe  that  I  've  been  through  was  but    the 

cross  to  save, 

My  Saviour  too,  was  crucified, 
And  dying,  he  forgave. 

Dear  readers,  ere  I  say  farewell,  I  would  ask  your  prayers 
to  accompany  me  in  my  sojournings  until  the  will  of  God  be 
accomplished  in  me. 


APPENDIX  BY  THE  PUBLISHERS. 


Note. — The  remarkable  work  from  which  the  follow- 
ing pages  are  reprinted,  is  entitled,  "  The  History  of 
Auricular  Confession ;"  it  was  written  in  French  by  a 
nobleman  of  France,  Count  C.  P.  de  Lasteyrie  ;  it  was 
translated  into  English  by  an  officer  of  the  University 
of  France,  Professor  Charles  Cocks  ;  and  it  was  published 
in  London,  in  1848,  by  a  bookseller  of  the  highest  re- 
spectability, Richard  Bentley,  publisher  in  ordinary  to 
Her  Majesty.  The  work  is  full  of  terrible  facts  in  re- 
spect to  Roman  Catholic  priests,  monks,  and  nuns.  The 
2d  book  treats  of  "  confession  in  its  relation  to  moral- 
ity ;"  and  the  part  here  reprinted,  comprises  the  4th 
and  5th  chapters  of  this  book,  which  are  derived  from 
authentic  and  official  records.  Other  chapters  detail 
flagrant  immoralities  practiced  in  Spain,  France,  &c.  ; 
but  these  two  chapters  are  sufficient  to  show  the  devel- 
oped fruit  of  the  papal  system.  They  are  reprinted 
word  for  word  from  the  London  edition,  with  the  omis- 
sion of  the  Italian  notes  there  given,  and  the  insertion, 
in  brackets,  of  one  or  two  translations    of  Latin  and 

French  expressions. 

(243) 


244  APPENDIX. 


DEBAUCHERY   AND    IRREGULARITIES    INTRODUCED    BY    MEANS 
OF    CONFESSION    INTO    THE    NUNNERIES    OF    TUSCANY. 

It  is  easy  for  monks  and  depraved  priests  to  seduce,  by  the 
means  of  confession,  especially  among  the  lower  orders,  females 
who  live  in  the  world ;  the  tiling  becomes  still  more  so  rela- 
tively to  the  nuns  or  pensionnaires  confined  in  convents.  De- 
pravity introduced  into  those  houses  spreads  like  an  epidemic, 
with  symptoms  and  consequences  more  or  less  fatal,  according 
to  the  nature  and  inclinations  of  individuals. 

This  species  of  wickedness,  as  I  have  had  opportunities  of 
convincing  myself  from  information  derived  from  different 
journies  in  Italy  and  Spain,  is  less  uncommon  than  is  sup- 
posed,  especially  in  countries  w7here  the  priests,  and  principally 
the  monks,  have  much  influence,  and  enjoy  the  consideration 
of  the  people.  Most  of  the  seductions  that  take  place  in  what 
is  called  the  tribunal  of  penitence,  remain  unknown  to  the 
public,  even  when  denunciations,  avowals,  or  still  more  positive 
results,  exhibit  proofs,  either  to  families,  or  to  the  superior 
ecclesiastics,  whether  regular  or  secular.  For,  on  the  one 
hand,  the  honour  of  the  persons  compromised  and  that  of  their 
parents ;  and,  on  the  other,  the  interests  of  the  Church,  and 
even  an  ill-understood  reserve,  which  civil  authority  thinks 
proper  to  use  on  these  occasions,  as  well  as  the  impunity 
usually  attached  to  so  great  a  crime,  are  so  many  causes  that 
prevent  it  from  coming  to  the  knowledge  of  the  public ;  which, 
of  course,  renders  it  still  more  common. 


APPENDIX.  245 

We  could  cite,  in  support  of  what  has  just  been  said,  and  in 
confirmation  of  what  will  follow,  several  facts  which  occurred 
in  the  convents  of  Paris  before  the  revolution  of  1789,  and 
particularly  in  the  abbey  of  Pentemont,  where,  having  been 
introduced  by  college  companions,  engaged  in  the  ecclesiastical 
profession,  we  were  able  to  judge,  ex  auditu  et  visu  [from  hear- 
ing and  seeing],  of  the  irregularities  which  prevailed  in  that 
convent.  We  shall,  therefore,  remain  satisfied,  without  enter- 
ing into  any  other  details,  with  making  known  the  excessive 
depravity  that  had  long  prevailed  in  the  convents  of  Tuscany, 
the  existence  of  which  has  been  officially  stated  by  the  inves- 
tigation made  on  this  subject  by  order  of  the  Grand  Duke 
Leopold,  and  by  the  care  of  the  pious  and  learned  Ricci, 
bishop  of  Pistoia.  We  derive  what  follows  from  the  facts, 
acts,  correspondence,  and  orders  of  Leopold,  concerning  this 
affair,  and  which,  remaining  in  the  possession  of  the  family  of 
Ricci,  have  been  communicated  by  them  to  M.  de  Potter,  who 
has  reproduced  them  in  a  work  entitled  "  Vie  de  Scipion  de 
Ricci,  eveque  de  Pistoic  et  Prato  [Life  of  Scipio  de  Ricci,  bish- 
op of  Pistoic  and  Prato],  (Bruxelles  [Brussels],  1825,  3  vol. 
8vo.)  The  monachal  libertinism,  introduced  into  convents  of 
Tuscany  by  means  of  confession,  dated  from  a  period  very 
anterior  to  the  reign  of  Leopold.  For  more  than  a  century 
and  a  half,  the  dissoluteness  of  the  order  of  the  Dominicans 
had  excited  reproach  and  public  dissatisfaction.  The  spiritual 
direction  practiced  by  the  monks  towards  the  nuns,  was  a 
source  of  scandal  which  was  maintained  and  fomented  by  in- 
terest, dissipation,   and  vicious  habits.     We  find,  in  1642,  a 


24G  APPENDIX. 

petition  addressed  to  the  grand  duke  of  that  period,  and  signed 
by  the  holy  standard  bearer  {gonfalonier),  and  other  persons 
of  Pistoia,  to  the  number  of  one  hundred  and  ninety-four. 
Therein,  they  begged  that  a  sj^eedy  remedy  might  be  provided 
for  the  indecent  conduct  of  the  monks  in  the  convents  of  Saint 
Catharine  and  Saint  Lucia.  Even  this  affair  was  hushed  up, 
in  order  not  to  compromise  the  first  families  of  the  nobility, 
to  which  these  nuns  belonged. 

This  kind  of  debauchery,  which  had  become  excessive  dur- 
ing the  reign  of  Leopold,  was  known  by  means  of  the  inquir- 
ies instituted  by  that  prince,  in  consequence  of  the  denuncia- 
tions of  two  nuns  of  the  convent  of  Saint  Catherine  of  Pistoia, 
who  entreated  him  to  save  them  from  the  execrable  principles 
professed  by  those  monks,  their  directors. 

Thus  they  learnt  that  the  monks  used  to  eat  and  drink  with 
the  nuns  whom  they  preferred,  and  that  they  passed  the  time 
with  them  in  their  private  cells.  The  greater  part  of  the  girls 
used  to  deprive  themselves  of  all  their  money  and  goods,  and 
would  even  go  without  the  necessaries  of  life  to  enrich  their 
lovers.  "  I  do  not  state  anything,"  says  Ricci,  "  of  which  I 
have  not  proofs."  He  also  remarks  that  the  monks  were  in 
the  habit  of  passing  the  night  in  the  dormitory  of  the  nuns, 
and  that  this  custom  had  long  been  observed  by  the  priors  and 
confessors  of  the  nuns. 

The  inquiry  instituted  by  Leopold  must  necessarily,  as  Ricci 
tells  us,  have  made  the  scandal  public,  by  forcing  several  per- 
sons to  reveal  the  most  infamous  iniquities  authorized  by  the 
confessors  and  superiors  of  the  Dominicans.     Leopold  caused 


APPENDIX.  247 

all  the  nuns  to  be  interrogated  by  the  lieutenant  of  police,  and 
forbade  the  monks,  upon  pain  of  imprisonment,  to  approach 
the  monasteries,  on  account  of  the  depraved  conduct  of  all 
those  who  performed  the  duties  of  priors  and  confessors.  It 
was  discovered  that  this  corruption  had  been  propagated  by 
the  monks  in  the  convents  of  Florence,  Prato,  Pisa,  Siena, 
Perugia,  Faenza,  &c,  &c. 

We  find,  in  Leopold's  correspondence,  a  letter  that  had  been 
addressed  to  him  by  a  nun  of  Castiglione  Fiorentino,  which 
proves  that  the  Dominicans  were  not  the  only  corrupters  of 
women.  "  Our  convent,"  says  she,  "  is  under  the  dependence 
and  direction  of  the  Franciscan  friars  (recollets),  or  minor  ob- 
servantins,  and,  consequently,  in  the  greatest  laxity  and  in  ex- 
treme immorality ....  I  cannot  complain  to  the  provincial ;  for 
the  monks  will  never  listen  to  anything  in  complaints  of  this 
kind ....  The  nuns  are  obliged  to  allow  such  enormous  sins  to 
be  committed,  if  they  do  not  wish  to  be  shut  up  for  life,  under 
any  pretence ....  The  commissioner  is  invited  to  the  convent, 
and  goes  with  the  young  nuns  into  their  chambers,  with  one  of 
them  at  a  time,  or  with  two  at  most,  if  they  are  such  as  may 
be  trusted,  and  then  he  locks  himself  in ...  .  The  monks  who 
are  intimate  with  the  nuns  make  them  bolder  than  lackeys .... 
A  few  years  ago,  one  was  found  in  the  convent  during  the 
night,  and  the  constables  came  to  turn  him  out !"  This  nun 
terminates  her  letter  by  entreating  him  not  to  divulge  her 
name,  for,  she  observes,  if  what  she  had  just  written  to  the 
prince  were  known,  it  would  be  enough  to  cause  her  to  be 
poisoned  by  her  companions,  so  low  were  they  sunk  in  vice. 


248  APPENDIX. 

It  may  be  supposed  that  amid  depravity  so  generally  spread 
throughout  Italy,  the  Jesuits  were  not  the  only  monks  whose 
virtue  had  remained  intact,  and  who  had  not  known  how  to 
make  use  of  confession  for  a  vile  purpose.  Accordingly,  an 
ecclesiastic  of  Rome  wrote  to  the  bishop  of  Pistoia ;  "  I  have 
been  told  that  it  had  been  known,  through  private  letters,  that 
the  first  seducer  in  the  convent  of  Saint  Catherine  of  Pistoia, 
had  been  a  Jesuit.  I  know  of  a  monastery  where  a  Jesuit 
used  to  practice  improper  familiarities  with  the  nuns ;  he  used 
to  say  that  by  obeying  him  they  did  a  very  virtuous  action, 
since  they  showed  much  repugnance."  It  appears,  moreover, 
that  this  was  a  practice  to  which  the  monks  had  accustomed 
the  nuns ;  for  the  Bishop  of  Pistoia,  having  presented  himself 
before  some  nuns  obstinate  in  vice,  in  order  to  restore  them  by 
gentle  means  to  sentiments  of  virtue,  and  having  told  them 
that  he  had  brought  them  the  little  Jesus,  one  of  them  replied 
in  the  most  indecent  manner. 

Six  nuns  of  the  convent  of  Saint  Catherine  of  Pistoia  de- 
nounced the  infamous  practices  of  which  their  confessors  and 
superiors  were  guilty.  In  this  petition  which  was  presented 
to  Leopold,  we  find  the  following  facts :  "  The  monks  often 
come  to  meet  us  at  the  side  of  the  sacristy,  of  which  they  have 
almost  all  the  keys  ;  and  there  is  there  an  iron-grating  suffi- 
ciently large,  where  they  conduct  themselves  in  the  most  shame- 
less manner." 

"  If,  besides,  they  find  any  opportunity  of  entering  the  con- 
vent, under  any  kind  of  pretence,  they  come  and  remain  alone 
in  the  chambers  of  such  as  are  devoted  to  them.     All  of  them, 


APPENDIX.  24$ 

even  the  provincials,  are,  more  or  less,  of  the  same  stamp. 
They  are  not  ashamed  to  take  advantage  of  the  circumstances 
in  which  they  visit  the  convent,  to  do  the  things  of  which  we 
have  just  spoken.  They  give  utterance  to  brutal  maxims, 
which  suppose  an  absence  of  every  moral  feeling.  They  are 
incessantly  repeating  that  we  are  to  happy  in  being  able  to 
satisfy  all  our  inclinations.  They  say  that  after  having  left 
the  world  everything  is  ended  with  us.  They  add,  that  even 
the  writings  of  Saint  Paul  ought  to  serve  to  enlighten  us. 

"  All  sorts  of  indecencies  are  suffered  to  be  committed  in  the 
parlor.  Though  we  often  warn  them,  yet  they  never  prevent 
any  of  the  dangerous  connections  which  are  formed  in  the  con- 
vent, and  never  make  it  their  duty  to  interrupt  them.  Ac- 
cordingly, it  has  very  frequently  happened,  in  consequence  of 
this,  that  men  who  had  managed,  by  address,  to  get  the  keys 
of  the  house,  have  entered  at  night.  Such  as  allow  themselves 
to  be  led  by  their  counsels  are  cherished  and  protected  on 
every  occasion,  and  are  gratified  even  in  their  most  extrava- 
gant caprices ;  the  others  must  resolve  to  outrage  their  con- 
sciences by  following  the  same  course,  or  to  undergo  an  endless 
persecution.     This  is  precisely  what  is  now  taking  place  among 


us." 


The  inveterate  corruption  that  had  long  existed  among  the 
monks  whose  duty  it  was  to  confess  nuns  was  again  stated  in 
a  report  made  to  Leopold,  in  obedience  to  his  orders,  by  the 
wardens  of  the  Convent  of  Saint  Catherine  of  Siena,  in  the 
city  of  Pistoia.  After  having  mentioned  in  this  report  several 
things  which  prove  the  immorality  of  the  monks — as,  for  instance, 


250  APPENDIX. 

that  they  repaired  to  the  cells  of  the  nuns,  or  remained  alone 
with  them — it  is  added :  "  If  they  administer  the  consolations 
of  religion  to  any  dying  person,  they  eat  and  sleep  in  the  mon- 
astery, and  they  dine  with  whomsoever  they  please,  even  with 
the  vestry-nuns.  Not  only  are  the  fathers,  priors,  and  the 
present  confessors,  accused  of  this  negligence  and  these  irreg- 
ularities, but  it  is  avowed  that  the  bad  conduct  of  which  the 
latter  have  been  guilty,  had,  for  a  long  time,  become  a  habit 
with  all  the  friars  who  were  successively  destined  to  perform 
these  duties." 

The  depravity  of  morals,  and  the  licentiousness  introduced 
into  the  convents,  are  further  established  by  the  letters  which 
the  prioress  of  the  convent  of  Saint  Catherine,  at  Pistoia, 
named  Peroccini,  wrote  to  Doctor  Camporini,  the  rector  of 
the  episcopal  seminary  of  that  town.  "  To  answer  the  ques- 
tions you  ask  me  I  should  require  much  time,  and  an  excellent 
memory  to  remember  the  many  tilings  that  have  happened 
during  the  twenty-five  years  that  I  have  spent  among  monks, 
and  all  those  also  which  I  have  heard  related  about  them.  I 
shall  not  speak  of  friars  who  are  no  more.  As  to  the  others 
whose  conduct  is  blameable,  there  are  more  than  you  imagine  ; 
among  others  (here  she  names  nine  of  them).  But  why  name 
any  more  ?  Excepting  three  or  four  friars  among  so  many 
monks,  whether  living  or  dead,  whom  I  have  known,  there  is 
not  one  who  was  not  of  the  same  stamp.  They  all  profess  the 
same  maxims,  and  their  conduct  is  the  same.  Their  inter- 
course with  the  nuns  is  of  the  utmost  familiarity.  When  the 
monks   come  to  visit  a  sick  person,  it  is  their   custom  to  sup 


APPENDIX. 


251 


with  nuns,  to  sing,  dance,  and  play  with  them,  and  they  sleep 
in  the  convent.  Their  maxim  is  that  God  has  forbidden  hatred 
and  not  love.  I  affirm  that  they  have  the  art  of  corrupting 
not  only  the  young  and  innocent,  but  even  the  most  circum- 
spect and  knowing ;  and,  without  a  miracle,  no  one  can  fre. 
quent  their  company  without  at  length  yielding  to  this  species 
of  diabolical  temptation. 

"  The  priests  are  the  husbands   of  the  nuns,  and  the  lay- 
brothers  of  the   lay-sisters How  many  bishops  are  there 

not  in  the  Pontifical  States  who  have  also  discovered  immor- 
ality in  the  convents  of  their  dioceses  ?  However,  they  have 
never  rooted  out  the  evil  with  which,  nevertheless,  they  are  so 
well  acquainted.  They  lacked  the  means  of  being  able  to  in- 
spire some  confidence  in  the  nuns,  whom  the  monks  make  be- 
lieve that  they  who  reveal  what  passes  in  the  interior  of  the 
order  are  excommunicated.  God  is  my  witness  that  I  do  not 
speak  from  ill-will.  The  monks  have  never  done  anything  to 
me  personally  of  which  I  can  complain  ;  but  I  cannot  help  say- 
ing, that  no  order  of  men  is  more  perverse,  and  that  it  would 
be  in  vain  to  seek  for  any  persons  more  worthless  than  they. 
Though  secular  priests  are  ever  so  wicked,  they  can  never  at- 
tain, in  any  respect,  the  wickedness  of  the  friars;  the  artifices 
which  the  monks  know  how  to  employ  to  impose  on  the  world 
are  beyond  all  description." 

Another  nun  makes  the  following  declaration.  She  says 
with  regard  to  the  solicitations  made  to  her  by  her  confessor : 
"  I  testified  to  him  the  fear  and  scruples  which  they  excited 
within  me,"     He  replied :  "  Must  I  tell  you  plainly  ?     You 


252  APPENDIX. 

are  a  precious  simpleton.  Follow  my  advice.  Only  try,  and 
you  will  soon  thank  me  for  my  lessons  ;  be  sure  your  scruples 
will  cease."  Whenever  this  same  monk  paid  his  visits  to  the 
convent  he  renewed  his  attempts  to  gain  Ins  object. 

"  When  the  Dominicans  came  among  us  to  assist  the  sick 
they  remained  whole  days  together,  and  entered  alone,  under 
any  pretence,  into  the  chambers  of  certain  nuns.  They  came 
every  day  to  the  grate,  and  never  spoke  to  us  but  in  disgust- 
ing language,  revealing  to  us  the  confessions  they  had  heard/" 
&c,  &c. 

"  There  exists  another  cursed  abuse,  which  is,  that  the  nuns 
choose  a  husband  among  the  monks  when  they  have  scarcely 
made  their  vows." 

What  appears  most  revolting  in  this  affair  of  the  convents, 
is  the  conduct  and  principles  of  two  wicked  nuns,  who,  infected 
with  the  abominable  maxims  of  the  Dominicans,  had  aban- 
doned themselves  more  excessively  than  their  female  compan- 
ions to  the  most  revolting  licentiousness — nay,  to  the  vilest 
profanation  of  what  Catholics  consider  as  most  sacred. 

The  facts  we  relate  are  scandalous,  no  doubt ;  but  the  op- 
probrium recoils  upon  those  who  give  occasion  to  such  revela- 
tions by  their  acts,  their  culpable  tolerance,  fatal  institutions, 
and  practices  likely  to  foment  the  passions  and  to  corrupt  in- 
nocence. It  is  by  concealing  iniquities  of  this  kind  from  the 
knowledge  of  the  public,  and  by  securing  impunity  for  them, 
under  pretence  of  protecting  religion,  that  they  provoke  instead 
of  checking  them.  The  example  of  chastisement  being  the 
most  powerful  bar  that  can  be  opposed  to  crime,  it  is  allowing 


APPENDIX.  253 

it  to  have  its  full  swing  when  we  do  not  inflict  upon  it  publicly 
the  punishment  it  deserves  ;  a  chastisement  the  more  necessary 
as  it  is  very  difficult  to  get  at  the  knowledge  of  the  offence. 

The  interrogatory  of  the  nuns  and  other  persons  who  inhab- 
ited the  convent  of  Saint  Catherine  of  Prato,  took  place  ac- 
cording to  the  orders  of  Leopold,  and  was  composed  of  a  com- 
mission appointed  by  Bishop  Ricci.  It  was  written  entirely 
by  the  hand  of  Abbot  Lorenzo  Palli,  the  episcopal  vicar  of 
Prato,  and  was  signed  by  all  the  female  inhabitants  of  the 
convent,  to  the  number  of  fifteen  choral  nuns,  thirteen  lay- 
sisters,  and  five  boarders.  We  will  not  mention  the  irreligion, 
immorality,  impiety,  or  heresy,  of  which  the  monks  are  ac- 
cused in  this  interrogatory — cases  which  very  seldom  occur  in 
the  tribunal  of  confession. 

It  results  from  the  general  depositions  of  almost  all  the  nuns, 
that  Sister  Buonamici  and  Sister  Spighi,  the  former  aged  fifty 
and  the  latter  thirty -eight,  had  endeavored  to  corrupt  the  nuns 
by  indecent  and  obscene  actions.  More  than  half  the  nuns 
depose  that  Sister  Buonamici  had  behaved  scandalously  with 
her  own  brother,  an  Augustin  friar  and  priest ....  and  that 
Sister  Spighi  had  an  intrigue  with  a  certain  Joam  Botello,  a 
Portuguese  Jesuit. 

Seven  or  eight  years  before,  they  had  corrupted  and  enticed 
into  their  party  three  other  nuns,  one  of  whom  was  still  a 
novice.  They  used  to  say  to  such  as  they  wanted  to  deprave, 
that  they  had  learned  in  mystic  theology  the  doctrine  which 
they  taught  them.  It  was,  indeed,  the  books  of  ascetic  medi- 
tation that  had  induced  or  authorized  the  irregularities  of  these 


254  APPENDIX. 

wretched  nuns ;  they  made  use  of  these  books  to  lead  their 
companions  astray,  and  gave  them  a  sensual  interpretation. 
(For  the  sake  of  decency,  and  in  order  not  to  shock  the  reader, 
we  beg  to  omit  the  rest  of  this  interrogatory.) 

It  is  difficult  to  people  who  are  unacquainted  with  the  spirit 
of  those  corporations,  to  imagine  to  what  an  excess  the  wick- 
edness of  the  monks  may  be  carried,  or  to  conceive  how  such 
irregularities  could  have  existed  so  long  in  Tuscany.  Even 
when  they  were  brought  to  light  by  a  virtuous  prelate,  the  im- 
pudence of  the  monks  was  far  from  being  disconcerted.  They 
were  seen  to  brave  the  authority  of  the  bishop  and  that  of  the 
prince,  to  dissemble  their  crimes,  and  persevere  in  their  abom- 
inable  practices ;  and  without  Leopold's  firmness  in  unveiling 
and  prosecuting  this  mystery  of  iniquity,  nothing  could  have 
put  an  end  to  it.  The  obstinate  resistance  made  by  these 
wretched  nuns  to  the  introduction  of  a  more  regular  course  of 
life,  was  owing  to  the  perfidious  counsels  they  received  from 
the  monks,  who  had  accustomed  them  to  a  blind  confidence  and 
a  boundless  submission  to  their  will. 

"  They  used  to  say,"  says  the  Bishop  of  Pistoia,  "  that,  if  they 
acted  otherwise,  they  would  have  incurred  the  excommunica- 
tion fulminated  by  the  holy  father  Pius  V. ;  and  several  of 
them  were  so  strongly  possessed  with  this  fear,  that  one  of 
them,  being  dangerously  ill,  never  asked  for  the  sacrament  to 
be  administered  to  her." 

TVe  find  among  the  papers  of  Ricci  a  letter  of  a  nun  who 
expresses  herself  thus :  "  Who  could  ever  imagine  how  far  the 
spirit  of  address  and  intrigue  of   the  monks  can  extend,  or 


APPENDIX.  255 

how  many  artifices,  of  all  kinds,  they  have  at  their  disposal,  to 
resist  every  event ;  they  are  really  astonishing.  What !  Pre- 
tend to  struggle  against  the  Sovereign  himself!  Every  time  I 
think  of  the  trick  bf  the  provincial,  to  make  us  take  the  com- 
munion, in  order  to  oblige  us  afterwards  to  sign  a  certificate 
stating  that  we  practice  the  sacraments,  and  that  everything 
here  is  orderly,  I  cannot  recover  from  my  astonishment. 
Have  not  the  monks  made  use  of  the  medium  of  confession  to 
discover  what  we  had  revealed  about  them  in  our  depositions  ?" 

Not  satisfied  with  demoralizing  these  poor  nuns,  the  monks 
managed  to  be  fed  and  kept  by  them,  by  getting  from  them 
all  the  money  they  had  at  their  disposal ;  this  is  what  we  find 
from  a  denunciation  made  by  two  nuns  of  the  convent  of  Saint 
Catherine  of  Pistoia  to  the  Grand  Duke  Leopold,  who  express 
themselves  in  these  terms  :  "  Most  of  the  nuns  deprived  them- 
selves of  all  their  money  and  effects,  and  went  without  the 
very  necessaries  of  life,  to  enrich  their  lovers." 

But  what  is  not  less  revolting,  is,  that  the  Court  of  Rome, 
though  informed  of  the  scandalous  immorality  that  existed  in 
the  convents  of  Tuscany,  and  long  solicited  to  apply  a  remedy, 
refused  to  take,  for  this  purpose,  the  means  it  had  in  its  power, 
but  maintained  and  protected  the  monks  against  all  the  de- 
nunciations brought  against  them.  As  late  as  1774,  Bishop 
Alamani  had  written  in  these  terms  to  the  conclave  of  the  car- 
dinals :  "  Almost  all  the  nuns  depose  to  the  immorality  and 
libertinism  of  their  directors,  to  the  material  doctrine  and  bru- 
tal sentiments  with  which  they  endeavor  to  inspire  therm' 
The  memorial  or  attestation  of  the  nuns  who  complained  of 


25  G  APPENDIX. 

the  infamous  conduct  of  the  monks  had  been  handed  to  the 
cardinals  by  order  of  the  bishop. 

Ricci  says,  in  Ins  Memoirs,  "  that  the  Dominican  nuns  had 
several  times,  but  always  in  vain,  had  recourse  to  the  holy  see 
and  the  superiors  of  their  own  order ;  but  that  they  had  never 
received  a  single  word  of  consolation,  or  even  an  answer." 
He  himself  addressed  a  letter  to  Pope  Pius  V.,  in  which  he 
informs  him  of  the  irregularities  that  were  taking  place  in  the 
consents  under  the  direction  of  the  Dominicans.  He  ex- 
presses himself  as  follows  in  another  letter  to  Cardinal  Cor- 
sini :  "  When  writing  to  the  Pope,  it  is  not  meet  that  I  should 
enter  into  all  these  infamous  details  which,  if  I  communicated 
them  to  you,  would  fill  you  with  horror.  Yet,  of  what  ex- 
cesses have  not  those  wicked  Dominicans  been  guilty  ?  The 
provincials  and  priors,  instead  of  remedying  so  many  irregu- 
larities, of  which  the  confessors  alone  were  the  cause,  have 
allowed  these  guilty  confessors  to  have  their  own  way,  and 
they  have  plunged  themselves  into  the  same  iniquities." 

The  monks  had  so  corrupted  the  minds  and  opinions  of  those 
nuns,  and  had  so  much  influence  over  them,  that  the  latter  op- 
posed for  a  long  time  an  obstinate  resistance  to  the  measures 
taken  by  Ricci  and  the  Grand  Duke  to  put  an  end  to  this 
vileness ;  a  resistance  moreover  encouraged  by  the  court  of 
Rome.  "  The  monks,  the  nuncios,"  says  Ricci,  "  and  even  the 
cardinal  protector  of  the  order,  never  ceased  assuring  them, 
either  by  letter,  or  through  the  medium  of  secret  emissaries, 
that,  if  they  remained  firm,  the  tempest,  with  which  they  were 
threatened,  would  soon  be  dispelled." 


APPENDIX.  257 

One  of  the  means  which  had  been  employecLto  deprave  by 
degrees  these  unfortunate  nuns,  was  the  reading  and  interpret- 
.  ing  of  those  books  of  mysticism  which  they  are  accustomed  to 
have  read  to  young  females  in  convents,  to  work  their  minds 
into  a  state  of  feverish  excitement  and  fanaticism.  We  find 
in  a  letter  of  Mengoni,  an  abbot,  that  two  nuns  misused  the 
works  of  the  blessed  Jean-de-la- Croix  and  other  books  on 
mystic  theology,  to  entice  into  sin  their  fellow-nuns,  novices, 
boarders." 

These  seducers  passed  from  lectures  to  conversations,  by 
which  they  gradually  led  the  nuns  astray,  either  during  con- 
fession, or  in  the  visits  they  paid  them,  even  to  the  most  im- 
moral ideas,  and  thence  to  practices  the  most  criminal.  In  short, 
we  see,  from  several  other  declarations,  that  the  habitual  ex- 
pressions and  actions  of  those  monks  tended  to  corrupt  the 
persons  confined  in  the  monasteries  under  their  direction.  We 
must  not  forget  a  means  of  corruption  employed  by  the 
monks,  that  of  the  devotion  paid  to  the  sacred  heart  of  Jesus, 
repeated  every  day  to  fanaticize  the  ignorant  and  credulous. 
It  is  right  to  make  the  public  aware  of  what  kind  of  supersti- 
tion and  immorality  may  be  brought  about  by  these  absurd 
practices,  at  a  time  when  the  Jesuit-sacerdotal  party  is  endeav- 
oring to  revive,  for  the  purpose  of  enslaving  the  minds  of  the 
people,  whatever  the  ignorance  and  superstition  of  the  middle 
ages  invented  most  contrary  to  the  true  sentiments  and  gen- 
uine principles  of  religion. 

The  abbot  Longini  wrote  to  the  Bishop  of  Pistoia,  on  send- 
ing him  two  engravings  representing   the    Saviour  with   his 


258  APPENDIX. 

breast  open  and  his  heart  in  his  hand,  and  said  to  him :  "  Here 
are  the  last  spoils  of  the  numerous  errors  of  the  nun  Buona- 
mici.  The  engravings,  here  enclosed,  were  given  her  by  a  t 
Jesuit.  She  was  so  fond  of  them,  and  kept  them  so  carefully, 
that  she  wore  them  about  her.  I  will  not  tell  your  lordship 
what  abominable  idea  she  had  attached  to  these  pictures,  &c." 
,  The  facts  related  in  this  chapter  must  demonstrate  that  the 
monkish  system,  together  with  that  of  confession,  and  a  Jesuit- 
ical clergy,  supported  by  the  anti-national  policy  of  the  gov- 
ernment, and  by  that  of  a  clergy  devoted  to  the  court  of  Rome, 
are  as  pernicious  to  the  purity  of  morals  as  the  tranquillity  of 
families.  We  have  seen,  indeed,  to  what  an  extent  depravity 
had  spread,  not  only  among  the  nuns,  but  also  among  the 
boarders  who  belonged  to  the  first  families  of  Tuscany.  This 
is  the  fate  which  awaits  those  young  persons  whose  improvi- 
dent parents,  blinded  by  prejudices  or  enticed  by  fashion,  en- 
trust the  future  lives  of  their  children  to  these  houses,  which 
have  been  instituted  and  are  directed  according  to  principles 
of  bigotry,  superstition,  and — what  is  worse — of  Jesuitism. 
People  may  think  that  it  is  impossible  for  such  serious  irregu- 
larities to  be  introduced  at  the  present  day  into  female  con- 
vents by  means  of  confession.  It  is  true,  the  influence  of  the 
secular  and  regular  clergy,  and  that  of  the  court  of  Rome, 
have  not  yet  attained  the  necessary  degree  of  power  for  such 
crimes  to  be  committed  with  impunity,  should  they  happen  to 
be  discovered.  Besides,  the  freedom  of  the  press  would  expose 
them,  and  stop  their  course.  But  it  is  not  less  certain  that 
effects  will  result  from  this  double  system  not  less  fatal  to  in- 


APPENDIX.  259 

dividuals  than  to  the  whole  body  of  society.  For,  how  can 
public  vengeance  reach  crimes  whichj  for  the  reasons  we  have 
pointed  out,  seldom  or  never  come  to  their  knowledge  ? 

Moreover,  the  facts  which  have  very  lately  transpired  in 
France,  as  well  as  what  has  lately  happened  in  Tuscany,  prove 
that  the  evil,  as  we  have  just  said,  will  not  cease  to  exist, 
although  the  clergy  have  lost  their  ancient  privileges,  notwith- 
standing the  abolition  of  special  and  secret  jurisdictions,  and  a 
greater  freedom  of  the  press ;  and  that,  as  long  as  that  cause 
is  not  destroyed,  its  effects  must  necessarily  be  ever  reproduced. 
If  there  be  a  country  where  people  ought  to  be  safe  from  such 
outrages  it  is  France,  and  even  Tuscany,  where  they  have 
been  divulged  and  branded  with  infamy  in  so  solemn  a  manner. 
Yet,  here  is  a  fact,  related  by  several  newspapers  in  Septem- 
ber, 1844:— 

Crescioghi,  an  officiating  priest  in  a  parish  of  the  Apennines, 
had  been  accused  of  outrages  upon  three  young  girls.  He  ap- 
peared before  the  tribunal  of  justice  with  the  victims  of  his 
crime.  Several  witnesses  inculpated  the  defendant  in  the 
most  serious  manner.  After  having  denied  Ins  crime  with  the 
greatest  sang-froid,  he  at  length  avowed  the  principal  fact,  still 
denying,  however,  the  aggravating  circumstances.  In  accord- 
ance with  the  charge  delivered  by  the  public  minister,  the  tri- 
bunal condemned  Crescioghi  to  five  years'  seclusion  in  the  Con- 
vent of  Avergna,  the  ecclesiastical  prison  of  Tuscany,  and, 
moreover,  to  a  banishment  of  twenty  years-. 


260  APPENDIX. 


DEPRAVITY  OF  THE  MONKS,  THE  CORRUPTERS  OF  MORALS 
IN  OTHER  PARTS  OF  ITALY,  BY  MEANS  OF  CONFESSION.  ' 

We  have  related  many  scandalous  facts  in  the  course  of  this 
work ;  others  will  be  found  in  this  chapter  which  are  not  less 
so.  It  is  painful  to  expose  to  public  view  such  hideous  and 
revolting  descriptions  ;  but  great  evils  require  strong  remedies, 
especially  at  a  moment  when  an  attempt  is  making  to  cause 
institutions  and  practices  so  pernicious  as  monastic  and  sacer- 
dotal confession  to  prevail  in  France.  People  must  at  length 
be  made  to  know  the  consequences  of  such  a  system ;  public 
opinion  must  be  sufficiently  struck  with  the  greatness  of  the 
evil  to  oppose  a  barrier  to  this  torrent  which  threatens  to  in- 
vade everything.  We  must  at  length  warn  the  public  against 
this  confusion  of  precepts  and  pretended  religious  duties,  and 
against  institutions  founded  to  maintain  the  power  of  a  foreign 
domination. 

We  have  derived  the  facts  we  are  going  to  quote  from  the 
proces-verbaux  of  the  Inquisition  of  a  town  in  Italy,  which 
were  carried  off  at  the  time  when  the  French,  being  masters 
of  Italy,  destroyed  that  tribunal.  They  have  been  communi- 
cated to  us  on  condition  of  mentioning  neither  the  name  of  the 
place  nor  that  of  the  person  from  whom  we  have  received 
them.  We  may  judge  from  these  facts,  which  happened  in  a 
small  district,  and  in  a  rather  short  space  of  time,  what  are  the 
immoral  results  of  confession  throughout  Italy,  and  the  ex- 
cessive depravity  of  the  monks.     For,  save  a  certain  number 


APPENDIX.  261 

of  exceptions,  we  find  among  the  corporations  of  that  country 
the  same  principles  and  the  same  morals.  We  have  reason  to 
believe  so,  from  the  special  informations  we  have  derived  at 
different  periods,  during  a  rather  long  residence  in  that  classic 
land  of  monachism. 

The  registers  of  the  Inquisition  which  have  been  communi- 
cated to  us  were  very  incomplete,  and  contained  only  the 
transactions  of  a  few  years.  We  have  extracted  from  them 
what  more  particularly  concerns  temptation  inherent  in  con- 
fession. What  a  mass  of  turpitude  and  infamy  would  be  un- 
veiled to  the  public,  if  it  were  possible  to  make  them  acquaint- 
ed with  the  facts  recorded  in  the  registers  of  the  different 
countries  where  the  Inquisition  has  been  engaged  in  these  in- 
quiries !  Add,  moreover,  a  still  more  considerable  number  of 
facts,  which  take  place  between  the  guilty  parties,  without 
anybody  ever  being  informed  of  them. 

Here  then  is  an  extract  of  what  has  appeared  to  us  the  most 
remarkable,  omitting  entirely  what  concerns  heresy,  bias, 
phemy,  witchcraft,  covenants,  and  commerce  with  the  devil, 
philtres  to  provoke  love,  freemasonry,  treasure-finding,  and 
other  miserable  practices,  which  betoken  the  ignorance,  super- 
stition, and  stupidity  of  the  monks  and  people. 

A  woman,  thirty-seven  years  of  age,  named  Bartolommea, 
the  wife  of  a  man  named  Bracolino,  declared  to  the  Inquisition 
that  father  Santozi,  of  the  order  of  the  Servites,  had  a  very 
bad  reputation,  and  lived  very  disorderly  with  a  married 
woman. 


262  APPENDIX. 

She  relates,  moreover,  that  this  monk,  with  others  of  his  con- 
vent, habitually  made  use  of  licentious  expressions  to  women. 

A  nun,  named  Ancilla  Rei,  of  the  order  of  Saint  Francis, 
declared  that  she  had  been  tempted,  at  the  tribunal  of  confes- 
sion, by  the  director  of  her  convent,  named  Fortunato.  He 
began  with  telling  this  nun  that  he  loved  her  tenderly,  and  he 
used  to  call  her  his  little  dove,  nina  Colombo,. 

A  nun,  thirty  years  of  age,  named  Illuminata  Guidi,  a  claus- 
tral  sister  in  a  convent  of  Saint  Francis,  said  she  had  de- 
nounced, a  few  years  before,  to  the  tribunal  of  the  Inquisition, 
a  priest  who  had  tempted  her  in  the  confessional  for  three 
years. 

We  see,  from  the  declarations  made  by  this  girl,  "  for  the 
acquittal  of  her  conscience,"  as  she  terms  it,  to  what  a  state 
seclusion  and  perpetual  celibacy  will  reduce  certain  girls.  This 
unfortunate  creature  avows  that  the  passion  that  pervaded  her 
being  was  so  powerful  within  her,  that,  from  the  age  of  eight- 
een to  twenty -nine,  she  had  prayed  on  her  knees  all  that  time, 
recommending  herself  to  the  most  holy  Madonna,  and  saying 
Ave  Marias,  and  Pater  Nosters,  to  obtain  her  intercession  for  a 
purpose  which  may  be  understood  without  a  more  particular 
allusion  to  it. 

Seeing  that  the  prayers  to  the  Virgin  did  not  succeed,  she 
applied  to  the  devil,  saying :  Diavolo,  fammi  venire  qualche 
persona  per  peccare.  The  devil  harkened  to  her  prayers.  But 
we  will  not  detain  the  reader  by  relating  all  the  things  of 
which  this  unfortunate  girl  accuses  herself  before  the  Inquisi- 
tion, and  which  are  merely  a  mixture  of  the  grossest  supersti- 


APrENDIX. 


2fi: 


t,on    and  the  reveries  of    an  imagination  led  astray    by  the 
knavery  of  the  persons  about  her,  and  who  conducted  them 
selves  towards  her  in  a  manner  that  I  could  not  relate  without 

offending  propriety. 

Margaret  Monti,  twenty-two  years  of  age,  declares  that  the 
priest  Turrini  had  tempted  her  in  the  confessional.     This  priest 
having  been  questioned,  on   the  22d  of  June,  1791,  answered 
that  he  had  been  a  confessor  in  the  convent  of  Saint  Sebastian 
for  three  years,  and  that  he  had  made  overtures  in  the  confes- 
sional, by  word  and  deed,  to  Sister  Gertrude  Fantini;  that  he 
had  often  kissed  her  through  the  grating  of  the  confessional, 
and   that  he  had  commanded  her  to  commit  shameful  actions. 
He  accused  himself  also  of  having  used  licentious  language  to 
a  woman  named  Ottavio  Paolucci,  every  time  she  came  to  con 
fess  to  him,  which  happened  every  week  or  fortnight ;  that  he 
solicited  her  to  love  him  by  calling  her  endearing  names,  and 
by  kissing  her  through  the  grating  of  the  confessional ;  and 
all  this  took  place  before,  during,  and  after  confession ;  and, 
finally,  that  he  had  written  her  an  immoral  letter.     He  had 
also  behaved  in  the  same  way  to  another  woman  named  Mar- 
garet Monti. 

A  maid,  aged  thirty-three,  named  Giulia  Mattioli,  declares 
that  her  confessor,  Felice,  a  monk,  aged  forty-five,  had  asked 
her  several  most  indecent  questions.  (Here  follow,  in  the 
original,  more  than  twenty  depositions  of  such  a  nature,  that 
we&would  not  dare  to  publish  them  in  any  language.) 

We  suppress  several  far  more  abominable  facts  of  the  same 
kind,  which  we  have  found  in  the  proces-verbaux  of  the  Inqui 
12 


264  APPENDIX. 

sition  5  being  unwilling  to  detain  the  reader  any  longer  in  this 
monkish  mire  which  we  have  been  compelled  to  make  him  pass 
through,  in  order  to  give  him  something  approaching  an  idea 
of  the  degree  of  corruption  which  exists  but  too  often  in  both 
male  and  female  convents. 

In  so  doing,  our  chief  purpose  has  been  to  make  known  the 
evils  which  may  result  from  auricular  confession,  and  the  evils 
to  which  young  persons  of  both  sexes  are  exposed  whose  edu- 
cation is  entrusted  to  monastic  corporations.  These  examples, 
as  well  as  those  which  I  relate  throughout  this  volume,  and  the 
induction  which  must  be  formed  from  them,  as  a  proof  of  the 
existence  of  a  great  many  other  facts  which  pass  in  the  shade 
of  impenetrable  secrecy,  ought  to  induce  parents  to  reflect 
seriously  concerning  the  dangers  to  which  they  expose  their 
children,  in  abandoning  the  direction  of  their  consciences  and 
education  to  associations  which,  on  their  re-establishment  in 
France,  have  been  impregnated,  without  exception,  with  the 
•"atal  principles  of  Jesuitism. 


ROMANISM  AS  IT  IS: 

AN    EXPOSITION  OF    THE   ROMAN   CATHOLIC   SYSTEM,  FOR  THE 
USE  OF  THE  AMERICAN  PEOPLE; 

Embracing    a    Full    Account    of    its   Origin   and   Development   at 
Rome  and  from  Rome,  its    Distinctive    Features  in  Theory  and 
Practice,    its    Characteristic    Tendencies    and    Aims,     its 
Statistical   and    Moral    Position,  and  its  Special  Rela- 
tions to  American  Institutions  and  Liberties. 

By  REV.  SAMUEL  W.   BARNUM, 

Editor  of  the  Comprehensive  Dictionary  of  the  Bible. 


A  Large  and  Elegant  Octavo  Volume,    Illustrated  with  One   Hundred  and   Five 

Fine,   Beautiful    Engravings. 


This  book  is  eminently  a  book  for  the  times.  It  is  an  exhaustive  and 
standard  work  of  the  highest  authority.  Its  facts  are  fully  supported  by 
credible  testimony;  its  statistics  are  the  best  attainable;  and  its  arguments 
are  such  as  are  actually  used  by  those  who  deal  with  the  living  questions  of 
the  day.  Much  of  it  has  been  translated  directly  from  the  accredited  Latin 
standards  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Church,  and  is  entirely  new  to  the  American 
public.  It  fully  uncovers  the  Romish  system  from  its  -  origin  to  the 
present  time;  exposes  its  baseless  pretenses,  frauds,  and  gross  immoralities; 
proves  its  never-ceasing  hostility  to  civil  and  religious  liberty,  its  opposition  to 
public  schools,  its  enslavement  of  the  consciences  of  its  subjects,  its  appropri- 
ation of  their  property,  and  their  powers  of  body  and  mind  to  its  own 
aggrandizement.  It  describes  faithfully  its  barbarous  attempts  to  crush  and 
exterminate,  wherever  it  has  had  the  power,  all  who  refused  to  submit  to 
Popish  dictation;  its  destruction  of  the  lives  of  millions  by  imprisonment,  tor- 
ture, burning,  massacre,  and  other  modes  of  fiendish  persecution. 

All  the  topics  of  this  work  are  treated  with  so  much  accuracy  and  thorough- 
ness, and  so  amply  illustrated  by  authentic  first-class  engravings,  as  to  make 
this  the  one  book  which  the  American  people  now  need  on  this  great  sub- 
ject. It  comes  home  with  its  principles  and  facts  to  every  man's  door ;  it  not 
only  tells  him  what  the  Roman  Catholics  are  doing,  and  aiming  to  do  in  this 
great  country,  but  it  shows  their  operations  and  influence  in  every  state,  and 
city,  and  district,  and  clearly  indicates  the  strong  tendencies  of  their  manifold 
and  insidious  influences  to  subvert  our  free  institutions,  and  ere  long  place  this 
country  under  full  Popish  tyranny. 

The  author  of  this  book  is  a  well-known  Protestant  writer  and  scholar,  who 
has  for  a  long  time  made  the  subject,  in  all  its  bearings,  his  special  study,  and 
who  tells  plainly  what  he  knows  and  can  substantiate  by  abundant  proofs. 
This  book,  therefore,  Is  without  a  rival  in  the  extent  and  trustworthiness  of 
its  information  on  the  whole  subject  of  Romanism,  and  in  its  thorough  adapta- 
tion to  the  wants  of  the  American  people. 


The  following  are  a  part  of  the  many  topics  of  this  book : 

1  Rise  and  Growth  of  the  Pope's  Power,  Spiritual  and  Temporal. 

2  Private  and  Public  Life  of  Pope  Pius  IX. 

3  The  Cardinals,  Who  and  What  are  They? 

4  Cardinal  Antonelli  Described. 

5  The  Council  of  Trent,  and  its  Important  Work. 

6  The  Vatican  Council  of  1869-70  Particularly  Described. 

7  The  Comments  of  the  New  York  Tribune  and  Catholic  World  on  said  Council. 

8  Celibacy  of  the  Clergy. 

9  Interesting  Account  of  the  Consecration  of  Three  Bishops  in  New  York. 

10  Eise  and  Progress  of  Monasticism. 

11  Cases  of  Forcible  Detention  in  Convents. 

12  Why  Persons  Become  Nuns. 

13  Edith  0' Gorman  and  other  Escaped  Nuns. 

14  Character  and  Influence  of  Convents  and  Convent-Life. 

15  Particular  Account  of  the  Jesuits  in  Europe  and  America. 

16  History  and  Description  of  the  Inquisition,  its  Tortures,  &c. 

17  The  Inquisition  Kept  Up  and  Defended  in  the  Nineteenth  Century. 

18  Roman  Catholics  Excommunicate  all  Members  of  Secret  Societies,  as  Fenians 

Free  Masons,  Odd  Fellows,  Sons  of  Temperance,  &c. 

19  Recent  Persecutions  by  Roman  Catholic  Authorities. 

20  Position  of  Romanists  in  Regard  to  the  Bible. 

21  Romish  Policy  Respecting  Education  in  this  Country. 

22  School-Controversies  in  Cincinnati,  Boston,  and  New  York. 

23  How  Priests  Control  some  Public  Schools  in  Connecticut. 

24  Rev.  B.  G.  Northrop's  Plea  for  an  Unsectarian  School-System. 

25  Rev.  Henry  Ward  Beecher  on  the  Romish  Plan  of  Education. 

26  Romish  Immorality  in  Europe  and  America. 

27  The  Catholic  Publication  Society's  Tract,  "Is  It  Honest?" 

28  The  Mass  Fully  Described  and  Emblematically  Illustrated. 

29  Honors  Paid  to  the  Virgin  Mary,  Joseph,  and  other  Saints. 

30  Protestant  View  of  the  Homage  to  Saints,  Relics,  Pictures,  &c. 

31  Churches  and  Cathedrals  in  Europe  and  America,  Illustrated. 

32  The  Bishop's  Ownership  and  Control  of  Church-Property. 

33  How  Money  is  Raised  and  Managed  in  the  Roman  Catholic  Church. 

34  Romish  and  Protestant  Views  of  the  Right  of  Private  Judgment. 

35  Power  Assumed  and  Used  by  Popes,  Bishops,  Priests,  &c. 

36  Protestant  View  of  the  Moral  Influence  of  Romanism. 

37  Hostility  of  Romanism  to  Libertv  in  Europe  and  America. 

38  Instances  of  Mob- Violence  in  Canada,  the  New  York  Riots,  &c. 

39  Influence  of  the  Romish  Church  in  this  Country  and  Elsewhere. 

40  Great  Increase  of  Romanists  in  the  United  States  since  1790.    How? 

41  Rise,  Progress,  and  Persecutions  of  Christianity. 

42  Rome  under  the  Popes  from  1278  to  1870. 

43  Panorama  and  Description  of  Modern  Rome. 

44  St.  Peter's,  with  a  Fine  View  of  its  Interior. 

45  St.  John  Lateran,  and  other  Principal  Churches  of  Rome. 

46  Palaces  of  Rome,  the  Vatican,  Quirinal,  &c. 

47  Other  Remarkable  Objects  in  the  City. 

48  Rome's  Industry,  Population,  and  Condition  under  Papal  Ride. 

49  Protestant  View  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Church  and  System. 

50  Cardinal  Wiseman's  Account  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Church. 

51  The  Newly-Defined  Doctrine  of  the  Immaculate  Conception. 

52  Vatican  Decree  of  the  Pope's  Supremacy  and  Infallibility. 

53  Was  Peter  at  Rome  and  Bishop  there  ? 

54  The  Crusades  and  the  Canon  Law. 


55  Gregory  VII,  and  other  Noted  Popes  of  the  Past. 

56  The  Popes  of  the  Nineteenth  Century  Particularly  Described. 

57  List  of  the  Popes  from  Peter  (?)  to  Pius  IX. 

58  The  Pope's  Allocutions,  Bulls,  Briefs,  Encyclical  Letters,  &c. 

59  The  Roman  Court,  its  Officers,  Congregations,  &c. 

60  The  Twenty,  or  more,  Ecumenical  Councils  of  the  Roman  Catholics. 

61  Quarrels  about  the  Supremacy  of  Popes  or  Councils. 

62  The  Seven  Orders  of  the  Clergy,  their  Duties,  &c. 

63  The  Five  Degrees  of  the  Priesthood  up  to  the  Pope. 

64  Occupation  of  Rome  by  the  Italians  in  1870. 

65  Excommunication  of  the  King  of  Italy,  &c,  by  the  Pope. 

66  Addi-ess  of  New  York  Catholics  to  the  Pope,  Decembei-,  1870. 

67  Resolutions  and  Address  to  the  Government  and  People  of  Italy,  from  the 
,  Meeting  at  the  New  York  Academy  of  Music,  January  13th,  1871. 

68  The  Various  Articles  of  Clerical  Dress  Fully  Described. 

69  Theological  Education  and  Seminaries  in  the  United  States,  &c. 

70  Oath  ot  Conformity  and  Obedience  of  Beneficed  Priests,  Professors,  &c. 

71  Bishops,  How  Appointed  in  the  United  States,  Their  Oath  and  Power. 

72  Statistics  of  Romish  Priests  and  Theological  Seminaries  in  the  United  States. 

73  Names  of  the  Archbishops,  Bishops,  &c,  in  the  United  States. 

74  Whole  Number  of  Bishops,  &c,  in  the  World. 

75  Description  of  the  Fifty  or  Sixty  Sorts  of  Monks  Nuns,&c.,in  the  United  States. 

76  Convents  suppressed  in  Various  Countries  of  Europe. 

77  Attempts  to  Regulate  or  Reform  the  Religious  Orders. 

78  Ceremony  of  Reception  among  the  Sisters  of  Mercy. 

79  Roman  Catholic  Missions  in  Asia,  Africa,  and  America. 

80  College  of  the  Propaganda,  Leopold  Association,  &c. 

81  Roman  Catholic  and  Protestant  Missions  Compared. 

82  An  Auto  da  Fe  Illustrated  and  Described. 

83  The  Fourth  Lateran  Council's  Canon  on  Persecution  still  a  Law. 

84  Crusade  Against  the  Albigenses  of  France. 

85  Massacres  of  the  Waldenses  Described  and  Illustrated. 

86  Graphic  Account  of  the  St.  Bartholomew  Massacre. 

87  Differences  in  Persecution  by  Romanists  and  Protestants. 

88  Opposition  and  Hatred  Towards  the  "Protestant"  Bible. 

89  The  Vulgate  and  Douay  Versions  Described. 

90  The  Douay  Bible  and  Notes  Compared  with  the  English  Bible. 

91  Bible-Burning  in  the  United  States  and  Other  Countries. 

92  The  Missal,  Breviary,  and  Other  Service-Books. 

93  Matins,  Lauds,  Vespers,  and  other  "  Canonical  Hours." 

94  The  Seven  Sacraments. 

95  Baptism,  Confirmation,  and  Extreme  Unction  Explained. 

96  Regulations  Respecting  Matrimony,  and  Form  of  Marriage. 

97  Description  of  a  Procession  with  the  Host  in  Antwerp. 

98  Church  Terms  and  Articles  Defined  and  Illustrated. 

99  The  Rosary  Described  and  Illustrated. 

100  The  Carnival,  Lent,  Easter,  and  other  Festivals,  Fasts,  &c. 

101  Mode  of  Confession  and  Absolution. 

102  The  Confessional  Described  and  Illustrated. 

103  Alleged  Advantages  and  Known  Perils  of  Confession. 

104  Penance,  Satisfaction,  Mortal  and  Venial  Sins. 

105  Excommunication  in  its  Three  Forms,  and  Absolution  From  It. 

106  Doctrine  of  Purgatory,  and  the  Use  Made  of  It. 

107  The  Council  of  Trent  on  Indulgences,  with  Explanations. 

108  Four  Specimens  of  Indulgences,  granted  in  1517,  1843,  1854,  and  1862. 

109  Protestant  View  of  the  Theory  and  Practice  of  Indulgences. 

110  The  St.  Louis  Church  in  Buffalo  and  Bishop  Timon. 

111  Legislation  in  New  York,  &c,  Respecting  Church-Property. 


112  pases  of  Galileo,  Lamennais,  Hyacinthe,  Farrell,  Dollinger,  &c. 

113  Gallican  Views  of  the  Pope's  Prerogatives  Condemned. 

114  Does  Romanism  Favor  General  Intelligence  and  Prosperity? 

115  Comparative  Prosperity  of  Romish  and  Protestant  Countries. 

116  Romish  Periodicals,  Bookstores,  and  Publications  in  the  United  States. 

117  General  Character  of  Irish  Catholic  Laborers. 

118  Liquefaction  of  St.  Januarius's  Blood,  and  other  Miracles  ( '?). 

119  Losses  in  the  United  States  by  Conversions  to  Protestantism,  &c. 

120  Gains  in  England  and  Scotland,  and  Losses  in  Ireland. 

121  Losses  on  the  Continent  of  Europe,  in  Mexico,  Canada,  &c. 

122  Loss  of  Power  in  the  World. 

123  Full  Statistics  of  the  World,  from  Romish  and  Protestant  Authorities. 

124  What  we  Conclude  after  Hearing  Both  Sides. 

125  Elements  of  Strength  and  of  Weakness  in  the  Romish  System. 

126  Duties  and  Encouragements  of  American  Protestants. 


DESCRIPTION  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS. 

A  Beautiful  Panorama  of  Rome,  fully  explained. 

An  Accurate  View  of  the  Grand  Interior  of  St.  Peter's. 

The  Alleged  Chair  of  St.  Peter's. 

Eight  Engravings  of  the  Pope,  his  State  Carriage,  Chair,  Tiara,  and  Keys,  with 

the  Signature  and  Anns  of  Pope  Pius  IX. 
A  Cardinal  in  Full  Dress. 

An  Authentic  Full-page  Engraving  of  a  Bishop  Taking  the  Oath. 
Arms  of  the  Archbishops  of  Baltimore  and  New  York. 
Seven  Engravings  of  Monks  and  Nuns. 
Passionist  Monastery,  opposite  New  York. 
A  University,  and  Two  female  Seminaries  in  the  United  States. 
Four  Engravings  of  Different  Modes  of  Martyrdom. 
An  Authentic  Copy  of  the  Celebrated  Bartholomew  Medal,  bought  at  the  Pope's 

Mint  twenty-five  or  thirty  years  ago. 
Thirty-six  Illustrations  of  the  Service  of  the  Mass. 
Nearly  Thirty  Illustrations  of  Sacred  Utensils  and  Articles,  as  the  Bishop's  Crosier, 

Chalice,  Ciborium,  Font,  Ostensory,  Pyx,  Rosary,  Scapular,  Processional  Cross, 

Image  of  Christ  on  St.  Veronica's  Handkerchief,  &c,  &c. 
A  Correct  Representation  of  a  Confessional. 
Four  Engravings  Illustrating  an  Indulgence  granted  in  1843. 
Two  Fine  Engravings  of  Roman  Catholic  Churches  in  this  Country. 

Connecticut  Publishing-  Co., 

HARTFORD,  COIVIV. 

Agents  wanted  in  every  Town  and  County  in  the  United  States. 


Table  of  Contents. 


I.  The  City  of  Rome  and  its  Connections. 

II.  General  View  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Church  or  System. 

HI.  The  Pope  and  his  Sovereignty. 

IV.  The  Pope's  Allocutions,  Bulls,  and  other  Official  Communications. 

V.  The  Cardinals  and  Roman  Court. 

VI.  Ecumenical  Councils. 

VII.  The  Clergy. 

VIII.  Religious  Orders — Monks,  Nuns,  &c 

IX.  The  Jesuits. 

X.  Missionary  Operations  and  Societies. 

XL  The  Holy  Office  of  Inquisition. 

XII.  Persecutions. 

XIII.  The  Bible. 

XIV.  Churchly  and  Devotional  Exercises,  Articles,  and  Terms. 
XV.  Honors  paid  to  Saints,  Relics,  Pictures,  Images,  &c. 

XVI.  Holy  Days. 

XVII.  Confession  and  the  Confessional. 

XVIII.  Offences  and  Penalties. 

XIX.  Indulgences. 

XX.  Church  Edifices. 

XXI.  Church-Property  and  Revenues. 

XXII.  Denial  of  the  Right  of  Private  Judgment. 

XXIII.  Assumption  and  Exercise  of  Temporal  Power. 

XXIV.  Educational  Policy  in  the  United  States. 

XXV.  Relation  of  the  System  to  General  Intelligence  and  Prosperity. 

XXVI.  Moral  Influence  of  the  System. 

XXVII.  Relation  of  the  System  to  Civil  and  Religious  Liberty. 

XXVIII.  Political  and  Social  Power  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Church. 

XXIX.  Conclusion. 


-*♦♦- 


CONDITIONS. 

This  work  will  be  printed  on  beautiful  tinted  paper,  and  from  new  electro- 
type plates.  It  will  be  bound  in  the  most  substantial  manner.  It  will  contain 
seven  hundred  and  fifty  pages,  and  will  be  furnished  to  subscribers  at  the  fol- 
lowing prices : 


Extra  English  Cloth,  Sprinkled  Edge,  .        .        .        • 

Fine  Leather,  Sprinkled  Edge,  (Library  Edition,) 

Turkey  Morocco,  Half  Bound,  Cloth  Sides,  Marbled  Edge, 


per  copy, 

a 
t< 


$4.00 
4.75 
6.00 


936.09 

0g6 


COLUMBIA  UNIVERSITY  LIBRARIES 


0315023885 


